Disclaimer – I didn't invent these characters or the episode I am referring to. There is no monetary gain involved. I just make stuff up.

Author's note – Chapter 1 picks up near the end of the episode "Kitty's Love Affair" which wasn't actually a love affair IMO.

Kitty watched the door of the stagecoach close behind Will Stambridge. It had been an emotional goodbye. She wasn't in love with Will or sorry that he was leaving, but the past week had been fraught with intense emotions. It had started on an amazing high, when she and Matt had set out on a trip to St. Louis and quickly plummeted to a devastating low when Matt was called back to Dodge. From that point she was awash in strong emotions – anger and hurt as she sat on the stage - terror at the stagecoach robbery – gratitude to Will for protecting her – deep appreciation for his attentiveness. Then last night – she experienced the absolute horror of witnessing an unstoppable lynch mob going after Will. Unstoppable that is, until Matt arrived. Matt, the man she loved with all her heart doing the job he had to do.

That morning she had explained to Will, that she loved Matt more than anything. She always had and always would.

Kitty turned and looked at Matt as the stage carrying Will pulled away. She walked towards him with trepidation. She had only spoken to him twice since she had arrived in Dodge with Will. The first time she had been curt and distant. The second time she had asked him to tell her to say no to Will. She wasn't sure why she had done that, after all she never liked being told what to do. She realized even as she was asking, that it was a decision that she'd have to make for herself.

Kitty's mind was racing as she took the last steps that brought her to stand in front of Matt. She couldn't look him in the eye. Staring straight ahead she said, "Know something - I know a lady who could sure use a drink."

He didn't hesitate, didn't pause – with a voice filled with love and understanding, he answered, "I know a man who's ready to buy."

She looked up and saw him smiling at her. She smiled back, suddenly filled with lightness and warmth. The dense, emotional turmoil that had enveloped her for the past week was totally gone. They walked to the Long Branch, arms around each other's waists.

Stopping at the bar Matt called over, "Sam could we have a couple of beers?"

Smiling broadly, Sam put two beers on the bar. Nodding his thanks, Matt grabbed the beer mugs and he and Kitty walked to the small table in the back.

As she sat down Kitty looked over at Sam and said to Matt, "He's sure cheered up."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he and not just a few others around here were not exactly pleased to see me going around with - with," Kitty paused and took a breath.

"Matt, I want to talk to you about what happened."

"Kitty, you don't have to. I think I understand,"

"I know Matt, but I need to voice it." Kitty took a sip of beer and collected her thoughts. "When you left me at that stage stop I was furious, but also hurt and confused.

"I know Kitty, and I'm sorry."

"I know Matt. I also know that you couldn't ignore an order from a judge to appear at a trial, but at the time I was overwhelmed with disappointment. I thought we had finally done it, gotten away from Dodge. My spirits were flying. Then suddenly it all came crashing down. You left, and I got back on the stage in turmoil. I was questioning everything about our relationship. Then the stage was robbed, and Will was wounded while protecting me. I was grateful to him and of course, wanted to help him. As I tended to his wound we talked and got to know each other. When he said that he wanted to see me when we got back to Dodge, I didn't discourage him."

Kitty took a breath, "When we got back, I was still so very angry. I wanted to show you and everyone else that I didn't need you and that I didn't care what anyone thought. Then Will started offering me things that - well - things that I guess I always thought I'd have. Matt, I was in a state of confusion, almost like by mind was in a fog. I couldn't say yes to Will because I love you, and couldn't leave you. At the same time there was a part of me that was reluctant to say no to Will because I didn't want to give up the things he was offering me. So there I was."

Kitty made herself look directly into Matt's eyes, "The fog cleared. I don't know how else to explain it, and all that remained was what I have always known. I belong with you. Whatever I have in life, whatever it is – I want to have with you." Kitty hesitated for a second, "That is if you'll still have me."

Matt was stunned by Kitty's last statement. The idea of rejecting her was unimaginable to him. He looked at her, their eyes locking, "Kitty you know the answer to that, and Kitty I won't be wearing this badge forever. It's just that it's a job that I know I have to do right now."

Kitty replied softly, "I know Matt. I got a reminder of what that job means." She had never before heard Matt speak about taking the badge off, and knew how hard it was for him to utter those words. She put her hand on top of his, and they looked at each other in a silent understanding.

Matt could see that Kitty's eyes were brimming with tears, and looked around. The Long Branch was filling up, "Kitty, maybe we should go upstairs. We'll have more privacy."

Kitty nodded. Upstairs with the door closed behind them Kitty turned to Matt, tears now falling, "Matt I shouldn't have hurt you like that, I'm so very sorry."

Matt took her by the shoulders, "Kitty, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have left the way I did. I should have talked to you."

Kitty shook her head "I don't think I was in any state of mind to listen."

"Kitty, I should have tried. I should have told you how disappointed I was. I should have made sure you knew that I wanted to get away and be alone with you as much as you wanted it. I should have promised that I would make a trip happen, even though the false starts were making it seem impossible. I should have said that I knew it wasn't much, but we could take the long, slow route back to Dodge to squeeze out a little time alone - with a lot fewer bumps than we had had on that stagecoach ride."

Matt was glad to see a small smile appear through her tears at that last statement. He bushed a stray hair from her tear stained face. "Kitty, I'm sorry."

Kitty leaned into him and put her head on his chest. Matt put his arms around her as she whispered, "Matt, make love to me."

Matt slowly removed her clothes piece by piece, touching and kissing her body lovingly as he went. When she was fully unclothed he whispered, "You are so beautiful." He lifted her in his arms and carried her to bed. Fondling and kissing her breasts as he removed his clothes, he laid down besides her, pulling her close. Their bodies came together hungrily, and their hearts and souls locked back into place.

Feeling totally reconnected, Matt wrapped his arms around Kitty and said softly, "I'm telling you again, I won't be wearing the badge forever. When I take it off, we'll go wherever you want, do whatever you want and I'll be whatever you want me to be."

Kitty whispered, "Matt, you are what I want you to be," and feeling happy and content the couple dozed off in each other's arms with the afternoon sun streaming in through the window.

An hour later Matt woke and started to dress. Kitty sat up and stretched her arms, "What time is it Cowboy?"

"It's almost 4 PM. I should go over to the office to take care of some things. Can we have dinner? If it's alright with you I'll pick you up at 7:00."

Kitty smiled, "It's more than all right Cowboy."

Matt sat down on the side of the bed, "Kitty, I've missed you so much - I – I don't just mean - well, for a good long time now - it's just that we've." Matt paused and shook his head, "Kitty, I'm making a mess of this."

Kitty put her hand on Matt's cheek, "I understand Cowboy. I've missed you too, in every way. I can't tell you how many times in the past week I thought – Oh I have to remember to tell this to Matt – only I wasn't talking to my best friend and lover, so I couldn't."

Matt kissed her softly on the lips, "I'll see you at 7:00."

Kitty smiled as she watched him leave.

TBC