"Just talk to the first girl you bump into and you'll forget Aria before you know it."
Forget Aria?
He tried that. Not at first, of course. For the first few weeks, he held onto a delusion that maybe she'd change her mind. Maybe he'd hear a knock on the door and find her standing outside apartment 3B with a tear-stained face, the same desperation embedded in her hazel eyes that he had seen in his own. It couldn't be that easy for her, could it?
The pizza guy knocked. His neighbor, Mrs. Rosenthal knocked. Even Hardy knocked. Each time his heart would plummet into his stomach, a mixture of hope and fear of disappointment. Disappointment always won, and Aria was never behind the door.
It couldn't be forever, could it? The break-up couldn't be real, could it? A short time ago, the only real thing in his life was what he had with Aria. Now the only real thing in his life was the very empty drawer in his dresser, not filled with Aria's things that smelled like her.
Hope was meant to be a good thing, but he quickly realized it was his greatest enemy. The reason he continued to wake up, but also the reason he didn't want to.
Sometimes he wanted to give up. But by giving up, he'd surrender in his fight to hold her in his arms again. He was in a tug-o-war; one side was his own happiness, the other was Aria's. A painful sting tore through his heart when he finally came to the realization that Aria wasn't happy when she was with him, and he couldn't hold her down like that. He just couldn't.
He thought that would be the most painful part of letting her go—until he realized she could be happy with someone else. Someone who wasn't him.
He remembered spotting her across the street, sitting at a table in front of the ice cream shop alone. He felt sorry for her. Who would lick the sides of her ice cream cone so it wouldn't drip onto her fingers? He always did that. Who would eat the last bite of her cone? He always did that. A tall, blonde-haired man opened the door and sat down across from Aria, eliciting a smile on her face that he hadn't seen in ages. He handed her a cone filled with her favorite ice cream. Only Ezra was supposed to know her favorite ice cream.
It hadn't even taken her a month to move on and forget everything they had, everything they fought for. Their relationship was dead as if it had never been alive.
So, he tried to follow her lead, and as soon as he stumbled into his apartment that afternoon, he opened his laptop with a heavy sigh. He went to his bookmarks, his cursor hovering over a page he hadn't visited since he and Aria broke up—Bisson-Morar Jewelers. And like ripping off a band-aid, he deleted his plans to propose to his girlfriend, with an engagement ring whose expensive diamonds didn't even come close to Aria's priceless beauty.
Forget Aria?
He tried that. But it didn't work.
Which is precisely why his best friend Hardy was dragging Ezra through the costume shop in the center of Rosewood, trying to convince him that it was okay to leave his apartment and do something besides organize and reorganize the fuzzy lime in his fridge. Even Ezra knew it was time to move on. It was time to find someone else's gelato to lick.
He followed Hardy through the aisle of men's costumes as if he were a small child following his mother through the grocery store. Not paying attention, solely there because he had to be. Super heroes. Cavemen. Vampires. Ugly masks. All the typical costumes lined the aisle.
Hardy stopped abruptly and turned to look at Ezra, impatience written across his face. "Are you even looking?"
"I told you I don't really want to go to a costume party," he reiterated for the tenth time that day. "It's not really my scene. Even Aria didn't make me go to these things."
Hardy sighed and shook his head, then placed his hands on Ezra's shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes. "Ezra. There will be women at this party," he reminded him. "Women in tiny costumes. Women who will go back with you to your apartment and make you forget you ever thought a 17-year-old was good enough."
Of course Aria was good enough.
Ezra brushed Hardy's hands off his shoulders. "Fine, I'll go, but I'm not bringing anyone back to my place." He stepped aside and walked passed Hardy towards the exit of the costume shop.
"That's all I can ask for, Ezra, that's all I can ask for," he called after him, following quickly behind him. "You didn't get a costume!"
"Don't need one," Ezra replied.
Although it was the beginning of December, the sidewalk in front of Hollis Bar & Grill was packed with costume-wearing party-goers waiting to get inside one of Rosewood's most anticipated events of the year. It wasn't the childlike innocence that screamed through the air on Halloween; it was an annual 21+ costume party "charity event" infamous for drunken hookups between vampires and sexy nurses.
It was also the bar where Ezra met Aria two Augusts before.
Hardy pushed Ezra through the crowd of college students and 20somethings gathered in front of the entrance, using him as a human bulldozer. Ezra wore a black suit, one he often wore to teach, and a plain white Phantom of the Opera mask that only covered the right side of his face. It was the simplest costume he could manage, as well as one of his favorite characters. Behind him, Hardy was dressed as Jack Sparrow, reasoning that "women loved pirates." Ezra thought women preferred vampires, but he didn't really care whether Hardy scored tonight.
They stopped at the door and when Ezra didn't budge, Hardy let out an irritated sigh and moved in front of him, raising an eyebrow. "Forget how to open a door?" He pushed it open and stepped in, making sure Ezra followed.
The bar had transformed into an extravagant costume party, illuminated by only black lights and the occasional woman covered in sparkles. Loud music overwhelmed the small space full of people who would likely be intoxicated in a matter of hours. Or maybe minutes.
Ezra ran his hand through his hair and squinted at the dark room. "I'm a little rusty when it comes to picking up women."
"Maybe that's because you're not used to hitting on girls outside of a classroom," Hardy pointed out with a slight chuckle, patting Ezra playfully on the back.
"I didn't meet her in—"
"I know, I know, you met her in a 'bar' supposedly," Hardy interrupted, but from the skepticism in his voice, it was clear he never believed Ezra's claim. "Just talk to the first girl you bump into and you'll forget Aria before you know it." He spoke as if it were the most simple task, as if one look at another woman would make Ezra forget 450 days with Aria.
"And I've already found my soulmate in the mermaid costume near the ladies' room. Good luck, man," Hardy said as he walked off, leaving Ezra by himself in a place he didn't belong.
Ezra sighed and stood awkwardly in the center of the room while dozens of people brushed by his body on their way to the bar. Where should he start? He rested his hand on the back of his neck and scratched, frozen in a state of apprehension. He wasn't really a dancer, so that was out of the question. Maybe it would be wise to drink away his anxiety and let the alcohol take over in his quest to find a woman. With a deep breath, he lifted his feet and followed the throngs of people to the bar until he bumped into a petite woman walking in the opposite direction.
"Chase?" she asked, squinting her eyes, trying to make out Ezra's face in the dim light. Her eyes went wide and she took a step back. "E-ezra?"
Ezra stood speechless as he found Aria standing in front of him. She was dressed in a vintage floor-length ivory lace gown with a corset and sleeves that hung off her shoulders, showing off her flawless skin. Her dark chestnut hair fell in beautiful curls halfway down her back. It never occurred to him that she would possibly attend an adult party, but then he remembered her fake ID that he never approved of.
A few silent moments passed before Aria added, "It's good to see you."
He smiled. "You look great," he replied with a nervous lick of his lips. "Are you Christine?"
She nodded. "From the Phantom of the Opera," she answered with a small smile while her eyes searched the room. "I better get going. My boyfr," she hesitated, "Chase is waiting for me."
A painful stab pierced through Ezra's stomach. He nodded and watched her walk off in search of her boyfriend, wanting so badly to pick up the delicate ivory lace floating across the dirty bar floor. He continued to stare until she found the same man he had seen outside the ice cream shop. She greeted him with a quick peck on the lips.
"I'm waiting for you too," Ezra mumbled.
Chase was dressed quite obviously as an angel, a cheesy white halo atop his blonde curls. Aria shook her head and gave her boyfriend a faux smile that only Ezra recognized as disappointment. He couldn't quite make out the words that came from their lips, but he smiled to himself as he realized mixup.
Chase was supposed to dress as the Angel of Music, also known as the Phantom of the Opera.
Aria turned her head and caught Ezra staring at her, causing him to blush and dart his eyes towards the ground—and completely missing the bright small that she gave him.
Ezra felt a hand on his shoulder as he stared at the ground. "Okay, maybe the second girl you bump into," Hardy told him.
Ezra turned to find Hardy standing behind him. "You saw?"
Hardy nodded and handed Ezra a beer. "Don't worry. Turns out my mermaid already has a merman." He took a sip of his beer and swallowed. "Round two?"
Ezra took a large gulp from his bottle and nodded. "Round two, indeed."
The party wasn't supposed to end until the early hours of the morning, but Ezra left shortly after Hardy lassoed a cowgirl with minimal clothing to take home. It's not that he didn't attempt round two. Or three. Or four. But every time he found the courage to talk to a woman, his eyes would attach themselves to Aria like a magnet. Dancing with Chase. Laughing with Chase. Kissing Chase. Ezra quickly caught on that watching another girl didn't exactly impress women. Thus, he was defeated every round.
His bed was far more comfortable and lacked the overwhelming awkwardness that the party boasted, anyway. He lay on his side and tugged his blanket over his body and fell asleep within minutes; the party was exhausting both emotionally and physically.
He hadn't been asleep for more than an hour when his phone emitted a shrill ring from his nightstand a few feet away. He groaned and felt for his phone in the darkness, knocking over a tissue box and a bottle of water in the process. He grabbed his phone and brought it to his eyes, squinting from the harsh light of the iPhone's screen.
Aria
He blinked several times to see if he was imagining her name on the front of his screen. He hadn't seen her name on his phone in two months, when she had called to find a place to break up with him. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat, attempting to wake himself up and diminish the grogginess in his voice before he answered.
"Hello?"
The line was quiet for a few seconds until he heard quiet, muffled sobs.
"Aria?"
The sobs became louder and she tried to speak, but it came out as a string of nonsensical syllables mixed with her tears.
"Are you okay?"
She audibly took a deep breath before she attempted to speak again. "I made a terrible mistake and I need you," she wept.
It was clear that the simple sentence required a great amount of strength for her to muster over the phone, as if it were breaking her pride.
"Text me where you are and I'll be there as fast as I can."
"Thank you," she whispered, and the phone call ended.
Ezra jumped out of bed and grabbed his jacket, not even stopping to change out of his pajamas. His phone vibrated in his hand with Aria's location.
And that's when he noticed it was nearly 3 a.m.
It was thirty minutes before Ezra pulled up alongside the curb in front of an apartment complex in Brookhaven. He found Aria perched on the cement steps, holding her legs against her chest and trembling in the cold winter air. When she spotted the small silver car approaching, she stood and slowly walked towards him. He leaned over the center console and pushed open the passenger side door.
Aria silently got in the car and buckled her seatbelt, not turning to say a word to Ezra. She only wore a thin, ivory silk knee-length slip that must've been underneath the white gown from the costume party. Her hair was disheveled and smudged black makeup sat under her eyes. Ezra reached in the back seat and grabbed a grey hoodie with the words "Hollis College" faded on the front, placing it on her lap. She accepted it and pulled it over her frozen body before leaning her cheek against the window.
They drove through dark, barren streets for ten minutes of silence, broken only by the occasional quiet sob coming from the passenger seat. Tears and makeup trickled down Aria's cheek, and she used the oversized sleeves of Ezra's hoodie to wipe them away. He glanced in her direction every so often; his mind overwhelmed with curiosity while his heart was broken with Aria's pain.
"Sorry," Aria muttered under her breath. "This is embarrassing."
Ezra shook his head and hesitated a few moments before he replied. "You don't have to be embarrassed with me. About anything."
The creases of Aria's mouth turned up ever so slightly to form a weak smile. "Thank you."
Ezra knew he couldn't drive an additional twenty minutes with Aria crying two feet away, even if it were 3:30 in the morning. He pulled over on a dirt patch on the side of the street and put the car in park, then took his keys out of the ignition and turned his hazard lights on. He exhaled a heavy breath and moved his body to look at Aria. "Even if we're not together, I'll always be here for you. Don't forget that. I'm still the same Ezra."
Silence lingered in the air. Aria wouldn't look at him. A car drove by and temporarily filled the car with light, illuminating Aria's tears.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Aria shook her head and looked down, focusing on the nail polish on her fingernails. She didn't reply, but she didn't request for him to start driving either. He eyed her disheveled appearance and felt his stomach sink as he came to a realization.
"Did he hurt you?" he asked as delicately as he could.
Aria continued to look down at her hands, picking at her nail polish. "I know what you're thinking," she mumbled. "We didn't do anything."
"I wasn't thinking that," he replied.
Aria bit her lower lip. "I didn't want to do anything," she clarified. "But he did, so he decided to throw a tea kettle at me."
Ezra's eyes widened. "Are you okay?"
She shook her head and exhaled a deep breath. "I was scared so I ran out of there as fast as I could and called the first person on speed dial," she sighed. "It was like my relationship was leading to this point, and if it wasn't going to happen when he wanted it to, then I wasn't worth it to him." She moved her gaze to look at Ezra for the first time that night, and he finally saw the desperation embedded in her hazel eyes that he'd been looking for. He wish he hadn't been looking for it.
"Why doesn't he care about me? What did I do wrong?"
He shook his head. "If he doesn't love Aria Montgomery, he's probably not human."
A small smile broke through the tears falling down her cheeks. The silence returned to the car as neither of them knew where they stood or where to go, and her attention returned to her fingernails.
Aria let out an irritated sigh. "You don't have to be afraid to touch me," she told him.
"What?"
"You can touch me," she repeated.
"Do you want me to?"
Aria bit her lip and nodded. "I could really use a hug right now."
Ezra leaned over and lightly put his arm around her shoulders, but if Aria's continuous tears were any indication, it wasn't good enough for her. She reached beside her and unbuckled her seatbelt, then eyed Ezra's lap. He replied to her silent request with a nod, then pushed his seat back to allow room for two bodies. She climbed over the center console and sat on his lap with her back against the door and her legs across his lap. He wrapped his arms around her body in a tentative embrace, pulling her close against him.
Without his permission, Aria buried her head into his chest, her tiny hands gripping the fabric of his t-shirt. She was finally comfortable enough in his arms to release the tears she held back, sobbing loudly into his chest. Ezra ran his fingers through her hair with one hand, his other hand rubbing her back. "Don't cry. Don't cry," he soothed. "I'm right here and everything is going to be okay." She nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck and he brushed his lips lightly against her forehead. He continued to hold her for the following minutes waiting for her tears to run their course.
Aria took a deep breath, successfully holding back another wave of tears."Before Chase and I started kissing tonight, he went to the bathroom. He had to brush his teeth," she began, as if it was a ridiculous concept. "Remember when we'd eat Chinese food and just...start going at it on your couch? Not caring about our bad breath or food stuck in our teeth?"
Ezra nodded and smiled at the memory, then wiped his thumb over a stray tear on her cheek.
She looked up at him. "I want that again. If I can't make out with someone with chicken stuck in my teeth, I don't want anything at all."
Ezra pressed another kiss against her forehead and chuckled. "Only if you're happy," he told her. "That's all that matters to me." He held her close and ran his hand up and down her arm, resting his head on top of hers.
Aria leaned away from him and shook her head. "You should hate me. Why don't you hate me?"
"I couldn't hate you." It was a promise he knew he could keep.
"But I left you and dated someone else."
Ezra turned Aria's body so she was facing him. "I'm glad you did. Now I know we're real. This is it. We are it."
She lowered her eyebrows and stared at him with a look of confusion. "What do you mean?"
He took a deep breath and released Aria for a moment to nervously run his fingers through his dark curls. He didn't know what he was doing, but he couldn't stop himself from doing it. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you."
Aria blinked her eyes several times before cupping his face in her hands, her thumbs grazing over the stubble along his jawline. "So marry me."
Their lips were inches apart, their breath fanning each other's face. "Okay," was all he said before pressing his lips against hers and kissing her deeply for the first time in months. His teeth lingered on her bottom lip before they pulled apart.
"Good answer," she told him, her hands still cupping his face. She smiled a bright smile that warmed his heart. "Are we engaged now?"
Ezra chuckled and leaned his forehead against hers and brushed his lips against her nose. "Can I buy you a ring first?"
"I guess that would be okay."
Ezra pulled her back against his body and embraced her petite body as tight as he could, as if she could escape at any moment. Another car passed theirs, it's headlights illuminating their faces for a split second. Even with makeup and tears staining her face, Ezra couldn't believe how lucky he was to have her—possibly forever. How Chase didn't see this could've been one of the greatest mysteries of the world.
"Can we stay here for for a few more minutes?" she asked.
Ezra looked at the clock on the radio reading 3:55 and nodded. "Let's just live out here, okay?"
Aria shook her head, her hair brushing against the crook of his neck where it rested. "I miss your apartment." She moved her eyes away from his and blushed. "I miss the sacred ground," she whispered.
"It hasn't felt like home without you." He looked at her sheepishly, a shade of red appearing on his cheeks to match Aria's.
She looked up into his eyes. "Nothing feels like home without you." Her arm moved behind his neck, her fingers running circles on the nape of his neck just under his t-shirt. "Nobody is like you. I didn't realize that until someone threw a tea kettle at me."
"Well, I have to ask you a very important question, then," Ezra announced, smiling into her hazel eyes.
"Yes?"
"Did you do your homework, Miss Montgomery?"
Aria's eyes widened before she giggled and decided to play along. "No, I did not, Mr. Fitz. But maybe I could get some extra credit?"
"You're such a bad student." Ezra sighed loudly and rolled his eyes. "I think I might have some extra credit waiting in the back of the car, if you're willing to do it."
Aria smiled and kissed him softly on the lips. "Yeah, I think I am."
And that's when Ezra realized Hardy was right for possibly the first time in their friendship. Maybe he would be taking home the first girl he bumped into, after all.
Becca was a big help creating this, because it was basically a result of our constant creation of Ezria scenes. Thank you for letting me write this. I love you!
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