Just my version of The one with Christmas in Tulsa & since Christmas officially end today I figure its and ok time to put it up, enjoy . . . oh and still don't own these characters
Scene: Monica & Chandler's apartment
Chandler: and to all a good night (he runs out)
Joey: dude wait for me, I can't be alone on Christmas! (Joey runs after him)
Ross: Mon you ok?
Monica: yea I guess so, I mean it could always be worse
Phoebe: really, how could it? . . .
Monica: (thinking) well . . .
Phoebe: I mean the only advantage to being married is the guarantee you're never alone for important holidays but now look at you alone
Rachel: Phoebe!
Phoebe: oh tell me you don't know I'm right
Rachel: I do but hearing it out loud makes me feel like a terrible person for thinking it
Ross: (sarcastic) please guys stop the Christmas spirit is way to strong right now
(Joey enters, he's out of breath)
Monica: Joey honey you ok?
Joey: yea I tried to run after Chandler's cab, I would have made it too but I only had one lunch today so there wasn't much gas in the tank
Monica: did you even get to say goodbye to him?
Joey: yea I did, he also told me to tell you this (Joey kisses Monica)
Monica: whoa Joey!
Phoebe: you back off woman, Tribbiani is mine!
Rachel: did Chandler actually tell you to do that?
Joey: not exactly
Monica: well what did he tell you to do?
Joey: he said he loved you and was sorry about all this . . . (everyones still staring at him) I thought my way was more heartfelt
Phoebe: oh and tax breaks!
Ross: what are you talking about?
Phoebe: another advantage to being married, oh so we're still on this Monica-Joey-Chandler love triangle then?
Scene: Monica & Chandler's, later on, Monica's in the kitchen cooking
Rachel: Monica are you feeling alright?
Monica: yea course just getting stuff ready to cook dinner tomorrow
Rachel: and you're sure you're ok?
Monica: yes Rachel!
Rachel: well its just you've been chopping the carrot for about 20 minutes now
Monica: oh well I'm a chef and just being thorough
Rachel: yea but sweetie unless you're cooking a dinner for ants I think those pieces of carrots are a bit too small (Monica glares at her)
Ross: Rachel back away now, you never say anything negative to Monica in her kitchen especially when she's so unstable
Monica: I'm not 'unstable'
Phoebe: I dunno Mon the vein in your forehead begs to differ (the phone rings)
Monica: hello?
Chandler: hey sweetie
Monica: guys it Chandler, hold on honey I'm putting you on speaker so don't say anything sexy
Chandler: ok I'll try
Everyone: Merry Christmas
Monica: So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard?
Chandler: Ah, well no, it's just uh, me and Wendy.
Monica: Wendy? - That sounds like a girl's name.
Chandler: It is. Did I... not tell you about her?
Monica: Umhmm, umhmm, about the time you told me about New Year's Eve. Where is everybody else?
Chandler: I sent them home.
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Chandler: Uhh, uh...
Ross: (in a low voice) Answer faster, answer faster!
Chandler: I don't know!
Ross: (in the same low voice) Answer better, answer better!
Chandler: I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague.
Monica: What does she do there?
Chandler: Oh, she's regional Vice President; She's... just below me.
Monica: She did WHAT?
Chandler: BE-LOW me!
Joey: Ahh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma?
Monica: *What*?
Chandler: Well, she... she didn't win...
Monica: Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.
Chandler: Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of *all* the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably...
Rachel: (interrupting him) Oh Chandler, stop talking!
Chandler: Honey, there's really nothing to worry about.
Monica: Okay.
Chandler: I'm serious!
Monica: Okay!
Chandler: Merry Christmas.
Monica: Merry Christmas.
Chandler: Merry Christmas, you guys!
Others: (simultaneously) Yeah, Merry... Christmas. (again, Phoebe...)
Phoebe: (simultaneous to the others) Blah blargah, blar-blab (everyone looks puzzled)
Ross: so . . . .
Joey: that was so awkward
Ross: thanks for clarifying that Joe, Mon you know that Chandler wouldn't do anything to hurt you
Monica: (bluntly) yea course
Ross: thats good
Monica: but I mean you couldn't blame him with the Ms. Ohkahoma winner, I mean if anything he's trading me in for a better model, probably less milage and does way more cool, new fangled stuff (Monica starts sulking)
Joey: Mon honey it'll be ok
Monica: really?
Joey: yea I mean you're not THAT old
Rachel: (to Joey) you're even less clueless than Chandler
Phoebe: besides Monica any new and fangled stuff I can teach you
Rachel: (hold her hand) Monica this is Chandler we're talking about, he's crazy about you and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that
Monica: but what if . . .
Rachel: no what if's, you just have to trust him besides he's in Tulsa and you're here so you can't have a face-face argument about this and believe me phones are dangerous things to have an argument on
Monica: you're right! (Monica runs to her bedroom)
Rachel: wow I've been told I was right before . . its such a good feeling (Monica runs out carrying a bag)
Ross: what are you doing?
Rachel: basking in the glory of being right, its fabulous
Ross: (to Rachel) I wasn't talking to you!
Monica: I'm going to Tulsa
Everyone: what!
Monica: I can't stay here and wait for my marriage to go down the toilet, no I'm Monica frigging Gellar-Bing and I'm not a quitter!
Phoebe: so what are you going to do when you get there?
Monica: get my husband back from the claws of Ms. Ohklahoma
Ross: wait Mon you can't go
Monica: why not?
Ross: (quiet) who will cook Christmas dinner tomorrow?
Monica: seriously Ross!
Rachel: Monica ignore him and do what you feel you have to, heck I'll cook dinner tomorrow
Ross: Monica I beg you, if you don't want to come back to a burnt down apartment don't go!
Monica: right guys I love you and merry Christmas! (she leaves)
Rachel: and burning down the apartment, below the belt Geller!
Phoebe: and now that Monica's gone we can have some of my tofurkey!
Joey: tofurkey! . . . Monica wait for me! (Joey runs out)
Scene: outside the apartment
Joey: Monica wait
Monica: Joey honey I have to go
Joey: look I know Chandler wouldn't do anything with this woman, I mean he's crazy about you
Monica: no this was the wake up call I needed, I should have never let him go there alone
Joey: what do you mean?
Monica: I bringing my man home Joe!
Joey: you are! (gets in the cab) right move over, he's my man too and if you're going to fight for him then I am too
Monica: Joey honey we're flying there do you even have a passport?
Joey: always carry mine with me in case I have to go to Vermont or something
Monica: you don;t need a passport for . . . you know what I can teach you geography again, (to the cab driver) JFK airport please sir and fast!
I'll put the second chapter up ASAP its just too much to put into one, hope you enjoy it & review pretty please!