Handle With Care
By: Rhuben
Summary-After the end of Big Time Rush, Logan and Riley had time to reflect on how their friendship had fallen apart. Logan/OC friendship. Kendall/OC
"Flower delivery for Mrs. Knight," Kendall Knight called in an announcer's voice, his voice echoing around the master bedroom of their apartment.
Riley Jackson-McGuire one by one tossed the pillows on the floor onto the bed before turning to face her husband, giving him an odd look when she spotted the bouquet of white and red flowers shielding his face.
"Roses and daises, hey?" the Australian girl said with a smile as she took the bouquet from him. She tilted them towards her nose and sniffed. "What did I do to deserve this?"
"Nothing," Kendall replied. "I just saw them on the way home."
"They're beautiful, Kendall, thank you," Riley said. She curled her toes into the carpet before lifting up on them, her toes popping, as she gave him a kiss on the cheek .
"I love it when you do that," he said to her as she settled back on the flats of her feet and set the flowers on the dresser.
"Because you love knowing I'm so much shorter than you?" Riley asked with a smirk as she stepped forward, looping her arms around Kendall's waist in a hug. She rested her chin on his chest, looking up at him.
"That," Kendall agreed before quickly kissing her. "And I love your legs. Especially in those jean shorts." He grinned as he reached down and grabbed her legs, lifting her in the air, wrapping her legs around him. Riley let out a shriek, which quickly turned into a laugh, as he shifted his weight and collapsed on top of her onto their bed.
"I hate it when you do that," Riley said, gently slapping his chest before brushing her dark hair out of her blue eyes. Kendall grabbed her smaller hand in his and slid his fingers through hers, admiring the rosy colored nail polish on her fingers before he kissed them. "What's up, boofhead?"
Kendall smiled at her long used nickname for him. "I did something," he repeated.
Riley rolled onto her side to face him and used her free hand to prop up her head, her elbow digging into the mattress. "We both know you don't have good ideas without me," she teased and Kendall chuckled. "Come on, I mean, all of your plans at Rocque Records barely ever worked if my siblings and I didn't help out."
Kendall could have easily shot back that the inclusion of Riley and her siblings on any of their plans often times would make things worse, and she knew it, but there was no point. She was still right; them helping did have things work out for them in the end. In fact, Big Time Rush wouldn't have been as successful of a band if her band with her brothers and sisters, The DarkElements, now renamed Blazing Phoenix, hadn't helped them out.
So much time had passed since his Big Time Rush had broken up. Kendall had moved out of the Palm Woods and into his own apartment with Riley (and gotten married three years after the band ended) and was juggling a potential future in ice hockey all the while working on his own independent music. His mom, Jennifer Knight, and little sister, Katie Knight, was still in Los Angeles, living in a house that Kendall had bought for them with the money he earned from Big Time Rush.
Logan Mitchell, who was still on and off with Camille Roberts, moved into his own apartment as well and had put himself into his studies of becoming a doctor. James Diamond was pursuing a solo career, and was still in apartment 2J with Carlos, and was still dating Jo Taylor. Carlos Garcia was working through married life with his long time sweetheart, Stephanie King, and was recording music in Spanish and talking about potentially having a baby in the near future.
"So, what'd you do?" Riley asked him. Kendall buried his face into the comforter for a moment before looking up at her.
"I invited Logan over," Kendall replied. Riley's eyebrows lifted. "Because you were saying the other day that you were thinking about how you guys used to be. How maybe you were in a good place to talk to him?"
Riley silently stared at him for a moment before kissing him. "How do you always seem to know what it is I'm too afraid to do myself?" she asked him.
"Because I love you," Kendall simply replied.
"I love you, too," Riley said quietly. She gently pulled her hand from Kendall's and reached her hand up and ran her fingers through his hair. Kendall closed his eyes as she dragged her fingernails his scalp and to the base of his neck. "More than you'll know." Kendall smiled peacefully as Riley pulled herself from him and got up off the bed. She removed a rose from the bouquet and handed it to him. "What's this for?"
"To apologize for elbowing you in the stomach last night," she said with a sheepish grin. "You're an aggressive cuddler, dude."
"That's something to complain about?" Kendall asked with a childish smile. Riley rolled her eyes, keeping the smile on her face.
"You're such a dork," she said to him.
"So I've been told," he replied, twirling the flower between his fingers.
Logan Mitchell wiped his hands on his jeans before lowering himself onto the couch at the end opposite of Riley. Kendall had slipped out of the apartment with a quick "Hi" and "Bye" after Logan had arrived. Riley had motioned for him inside, but neither of them had a said a word until he sat down.
"How are you doing?" he asked her. "Really."
"I'm doing well," Riley replied, slightly bobbing her head up and down. "Kendall's great, my family's great, and our music is great." She lifted a hand and raked her fingers through her hair. "We're thinking of extending a tour offer to 5 Second of Summer, do a big Aussie tour or something. But other than that, I'm healthy; both physically and mentally. First time in a while I could say that."
Logan smiled. "That's great to hear," he said, as he reached up his hands to adjust the backwards hat on his head. "Really, Riles, it is." He hesitated for a moment. "Do you, uh, still go to therapy?"
"Not as often as I used to," Riley explained, "but yeah, I still do."
"You seem happy," Logan commented and Riley's lips parted into a smile. "I hope it's helped."
"I am," she replied, "I really am." She let out a short laugh, shaking her head as if in disbelief. "I never thought I'd ever feel like this again, but I am really happy." She slapped a hand over her mouth making a small pop sound as she did so. "Sorry, mate, I never asked you. How are you? How're your classes?"
"Classes are going really well," Logan replied, tucking his legs up underneath him. "I'm really learning a lot; way more than I ever really thought I would."
"Good grades?" Riley asked, giving him a suspicious look.
"Of course," Logan replied, "but I'm not freaking out so much if I don't get all As right off the bat." Riley hiked an eyebrow. "Honest." Logan drew an X over his heart, kissed his finger tips and made a peace sign, earning a small smile from her. Growing up together for a brief time as kids in Texas, they had a lot of inside jokes. It was almost second nature to him when he was around her. But, it had been a long while since they had really sat down and talked with each other. "Do you…still want to be a doctor?"
"Of course," Riley instantly replied, her blue eyes widening slightly. "You know I've always wanted to do that, Logan." She gave her family's signature one-shoulder shrug. "It's just not in my future right now."
"Well, there will still be plenty of space at my office for you when you're ready," Logan said quietly.
"Really?" Riley asked quietly.
"Yeah."
"Hmm."
Silence fell over the two of them for a moment and Logan looked around the apartment, his eyebrows twitching as they landed on a structure in the corner. "That's a crib," Logan said, pointing behind her.
"Oh, yeah," Riley said, turning in her seat to look over at the wooden structure behind her. She turned back to face him and laughed at his wide-eyed look. "I'm not pregnant, mate." She waved a hand in the air. "Julius and Brittany are going on holiday to San Francisco and wanted some time to themselves so we're looking after the baby while they're gone. We think they're trying for a second baby, actually. Sydney's staying over for the weekend because dad, Patrick, and Noah are going to Pat's surf competition; we're going to go up tomorrow to watch the second day." She closed an eye as she thought. "Uh, and Rhuben went with Dak on a music trip; they're looking for some new prospective artists to sign to his label and she's going to get some inspiration for producing and to write for us. You know how we used to do those writing trips. She and dad have come up with a lot of good stuff. Some of it we think would be good for Big Time Rush."
"Hmm, yeah," Logan agreed.
"Do you miss being in the band?" Riley asked.
"Yeah, I do," Logan replied with a nod of his head. He missed being around his friends all the time and just singing and hanging out and having fun. He even missed Gustavo's yelling at times, too. His old producer was a strict person, but Logan knew he just wanted the best for his "dogs." "But, I know we're all happy with what we're doing. And we could come back and do more music one day; we didn't actually end the band we just kind of drifted."
"Drifted, yeah," Riley said at the same time, nodding in agreement. Her eyes went downcast for a moment. "Not like us."
"Yeah," Logan agreed.
Riley sucked in a deep breath of air before she let it out. "Why did you force me into taking the MCAT that day?" she asked him.
Logan chewed on his bottom lip for a moment. "Because we were all talking about wanting to take a break from music," Logan explained, pulling on the brim of his cap, removing it from his head. He scratched the back of his neck. "And I didn't know what to do except push myself into the medical field. It had been so long since I was actually in a school, I was worried to go back into it and feel like I was so far behind. I didn't want to be thought of a band member that had failed and was just trying to find something else to do."
"But, I had told you that I wasn't ready to take it," Riley said, jabbing her finger into the couch cushions. "So, why did you keep pushing it on me? I've had so much in my life pushed on me without any room for discussion that I...I just really hate it."
"I know, and I should've known that," Logan agreed with a nod of his head. "I know what I did was wrong, because I was freaking out and just thinking about me. I had so many things planned in my life and then this music thing cameo out of nowhere, I just wanted to try and bring back what we had planned before." He pressed his lips together for a moment. "I know I hurt you when I made you do all of that without thinking about you and your feelings. You also hurt me with everything you said."
"Logan, I know, and I was hurting myself when I said it," Riley said, bowing her head just slightly. "But, I needed to do it." She put her hands to her chest. "It's been so hard for me to explain, but I don't know who to do a lot of things that people can normally do because of how I grew up. Making friends is easy but no one ever told me how to keep them. Being friends as kids is easy, you can bond over something as simple as a popsicle flavor and you could be inseparable just from that. But, I didn't really know how to do that." She stretched her legs out in front of her and crossed her arms over her chest leaning her head into the couch. Logan instantly recognized it as a defensive maneuver, a way to shield herself.
"What I knew about friends was what I saw on TV and in movies. The same thing with crushes and being in love and romance; I used to think that just because someone had a crush on you that you had to like them back. I thought that was how it worked. I thought because I was friends with you as a kid, we would be best friends forever, but I had conflicting experiences. I quickly learned that I couldn't rely on the TV and movies to get me through reality."
Riley ran her hands over her face and through her hair before clasping the back of her neck. "It's where Rhubes and I differ. You know she's always been into the fairytale kind of thing to escape, but I was always grounded in reality. I could see that the one thing we had in common couldn't hold us together as friends let alone best friends. Plus, you two were always closer than I was and that was ok." Riley's nose scrunched up just slightly as she gave him a teasing grin. "Besides, I always thought you were too nerdy for me."
"Hey!" Logan said with a mock frown. Riley stuck her tongue out at him. "So then what happened?"
"I thought being in music together would really give us a chance to start to build a friendship together but things with Robert was really coming to a head, and we were flying back and forth from Australia to the states more often," Riley explained. "You all were trying so hard to be our friends and despite not wanting to let you blokes in, we started opening up to you all. With you and me, our friendship never grew up; we were just trying to build upon what we liked as kids instead of really getting to get to know each other as teens. We just had music to bond with."
"And I tried too hard with trying to understand what you went through with your abuse by quoting percentages and the literature to you," Logan said, his lips seeming to get stuck together. "Looking at it in a medical way was the only way I knew how to talk about it."
"It made me feel like you were removed from it," Riley added. "Like it didn't matter to you." She put a hand to her chest. "That was just how I took it. I know the others didn't."
"Oh." Logan felt his shoulders slump. He forced his tongue out through his lips to wet them. "I, uh, guess I wasn't being much of a friend to you to make you think about it all of the time. " He swallowed thickly. "And to feel like you were just another part of that percentage and not your own person." Riley shifted forward and sat closer to him, taking up the space on the center cushion of the couch. She reached out a hand and squeezed his knee. "Rhubes yelled at me for it, too."
"When I was going through therapy, I was learning a lot about myself," Riley explained. "I learned about how much I was really keeping inside, it made me think about what I thought was really the source of my self-deprecating thoughts, how much I blamed myself for my parents death, a lot of things. It really helped me realize that it wasn't that I couldn't be friends with you, because I could be friend with Kendall, and Carlos, and James, and Jo, and Camille, and Stephanie as long as I opened myself up to it and made myself trust that things were going to be ok. It wasn't any of that with you; it was that I didn't want to be friends with you."
"Why not?" Logan asked.
"Because you reminded me of all the things I failed at," Riley replied, her voice cracking just slightly. She swallowed. "You reminded me of all the things I wasn't and probably had a long way to go to get there and it made me so mad that I couldn't be where I wanted to be. And when I failed that test, the MCAT, it was just another reminder that I wasn't good enough. You may have gotten a 38 or whatever, but I did worse than that." Logan bowed his head and Riley put a finger under his chin, lifting his head to look at her. She could see his eye shimmering with tears and blinked rapidly to try and hold hers back as well.
"Now I know it was completely unfair to put all of that on you, but it was how I was feeling at the time. When I saw how confident you were with your studies and our plan with our shared doctor's office, I could only think about how I would only be holding you back and dragging you down and I didn't want to do that to you. So I decided to do what I always did and push you away; and making it harsh was the easiest way I knew how to do it at the time."
"I didn't know I made you feel that way," Logan said as he loudly sniffed before dabbing at his eyes.
"Logie," Riley said, with a shaky breath. He attempted a weak smile at the nickname. "You didn't. You have to understand that it truly was all me and how I viewed myself." She used her forearm to wipe at her eyes. "After I figured that out, I tried calling and e-mailing and texting, like, a lot. But, I couldn't go through with it because I knew you were doing so well. You were doing what you always wanted to do. And I wanted to do this in person."
"I would've answered, Landy," Logan said and Riley laughed before settling into a smile. "You know that."
"I know," Riley said with a nod of her head. "But you know me, I can talk up a big game but, I never really liked making the first move at times." She slowly blinked. "So, if I called, you'd answer?"
"Anytime," Logan promised.
Riley reached into her pocket and removed her cell phone. After a series of clicks and pops she set her phone against her ear. Logan felt his phone vibrate in his pocket a moment later and retrieved it, laughing lightly when he saw Riley's name appear on his screen. A warm feeling appeared in his chest before expanding through his body, before he answered.
"Hey," he said into the receiver, hearing his words echo in his ear.
"Hi," Riley replied. She then hung up the phone before leaning forward and giving him a tight hug, one that Logan responded to immediately. "I'm so sorry."
"I'm sorry, too," Logan said, into her hair. He tightly squeezed his eyes, feeling a couple of tears slide free before he settled back into the corner of the couch. "I missed you, Landy."
"Missed you too, Logie-Bear," Riley said, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes, sucking in a deep breath of air. "God, we had terrible nicknames." Logan laughed along with her.
"We should do something," Logan said as his laughter died down. "You, me, and Rhubes." Riley's face lit up and she said at the same time he did, "Ice cream?"
"I'll call her," Riley said reaching for her phone. She jabbed her thumb against the keypad, speed dialing her sister before putting it on speaker. The phone rang three times before it was answered. "Hey, Mrs. Zevon, guess who I'm here with."
"Uhhh, your husband?" Rhuben replied and Logan could imagine the Australian's twin rolling her eyes. "The six foot, green eyed, annoyingly, yet admittedly awe-inspiring optimistic, guy?" Riley snorted. "Ok, so if not Kendall, who?"
"Logie," Riley replied.
Rhuben gasped again. "You called him Logie," she said. "So are you two finally mates again?"
"Yeah, and we didn't need you butting in and trying to force us into it," Logan added and Rhuben let out a huff.
"Well, excuuuuuuuuuse me," she said, holding out the word. "Ok, so where are we celebrating? Ice cream?"
"That's exactly what we were thinking," Logan said, sharing a smile with Riley.
A/N: This was an idea I had in my head for while on how Riley and Logan could start being friends again because I think time apart could really help them (even though Rhuben would try and force them to be friends again). I originally had it set later and that Carlos and Stephanie were having their second kid and Dak and Rhuben were trying to get pregnant, but personally didn't think that Riley and Logan wouldn't be friends for that long so I switched it to this. It's not set too far after Kendall and Riley got married; maybe a year and a half, if not two years after.