Title: If Tomorrow Never Comes
Author's Note: Post-ep for Pay Up. I own nothing.
It had been three weeks.
On the outside, it looked as though things had begun to go back to normal. Stella had been released from the hospital, and would be returning to work in another month or so. They had caught the bastards who had put her in the hospital, and the bastards that had been behind it. Jess had been buried, and he was training a new partner. But really, Don knew nothing would ever be "normal" again. Not without Jess.
Flack was just finishing up his last report of the day, trying to decide which bar to head to instead of home, when his captain approached him. "Detective Flack".
He looked up, "yeah, Captain?"
The captain played with the envelope in his hands, looking anywhere but at Don's face. "I've finished going through all of Detective Angell's papers and files." Flack flinched, but since the captain wasn't looking at him, he didn't notice. "She had the normal papers and letters that were designated to go to her family, but she had one more, too." He stopped fidgeting and instead looked directly at the letter still in his hands. Don followed his gaze, and froze when he saw his name on it, in Jess' familiar handwriting. Silently, his captain handed it to him, then walked away, leaving him standing alone in the middle of the precinct staring at a small envelop that was his last link to Jessica Angell.
Forgoing the bar that night, Don headed straight home. Throwing himself on the couch, he gazed at the letter in his hands for almost an hour. Finally he took a deep breath, and steeling himself, carefully opened it with violently shaking hands.
Dear Don,
As cops, I know we all have these letters. The ones we leave for loved ones, in case the worst happens. In case tomorrow never comes. It occurred to me recently that I have one for my parents, and one for my brothers, but not one for you. And I think I should, just in case. Hopefully, you'll never read this and someday, when we're both old and gray and retired, we'll laugh that I ever bothered to write it at all. But I still wanted to have this all down on paper. Just in case tomorrow never comes.
If tomorrow never comes, know that it wasn't your fault, no matter how it happened. There was nothing you could have done.
If tomorrow never comes, know that I loved you, and I treasure whatever time we had together, before my time stopped.
If tomorrow never comes, remember the good times, not the bad. Please, remember us always with fondness, not regret.
If tomorrow never comes, remember that everyone's tomorrows have to stop at some point, and I lived all of my yesterdays to their fullest.
If tomorrow never comes, don't forget I wasn't the only person who loved you in this life-lean on those still there, to help you through my absence.
If tomorrow never comes, remember me, but do not stay in the past. You still have a future, a life. Live it. Laugh again. Love another.
If tomorrow never comes, remember how I am now, not how I was in the end.
Do not weep for me, and do not grieve. I was happy with you, you made me happy. Remember that instead, and let it make you smile.
If tomorrow never comes.
Love Always,
Jess
Through silent tears that streamed down his cheeks, he smiled.
FINIS