AN: Hey All! I have recently fallen in love with this pairing. Please read and relax.
They undressed opposite from each other, both slightly awkward in their nakedness. In all the years of longing, Richard had thought of her like this often, with her hair framing her face and falling onto naked shoulders.
It was unusual for a king's brother to focus so much on one girl. He could have had anyone, and it was often suggested that he should take a lover. It was not as though there was ever a shortage of candidates at court, only he would never consent. Richard was never satisfied with anyone else. He only wanted Anne.
The Duke was not sure when he first noticed his attraction towards her. They had both been young; he knew that much. But it all seemed like a blur now. When he looked back on his relationship with Ann, most of memories were of trying to be near her and help her while simultaneously trying to hide his true feelings.
Through these actions, he gained a great understanding of her. He knew that she wanted a simple, protected life more than anything. She would have been happy to return home to Warwick Castle and live there for the rest of her life. If only she had been afforded the chance.
Fortunately, he knew that she always made the best of her situation. She rarely complained, only speaking out when things were no longer bearable. She was strong, and honest, and compassionate.
Richard also knew that she was no longer a virgin. That would have been impossible considering she was already a widow at her young age. But he did not begrudge her this. The marriage had not been something she had chosen. If anything, it was a blessing in disguise. He had heard many stories about virgin wedding nights going awry. At least this meant that their wedding night would go more smoothly.
He anticipated that she would understand what was to be done this night, and that she would welcome the contact as he had told her that his feelings towards her were genuine. But he was surprised to sense her fear when the moment arrived that they were both alone.
Perhaps it was simply awkwardness at now being husband to her cousin and childhood friend. But he doubted this. He had often heard rumors that Prince Edward of Lancaster was a tyrant. Richard, himself, had even once called him a monster simply because his reputation as so bad. He had long hoped for Anne's sake that these rumors were not true, but he could not deny his suspicions grew when he saw her face just now.
Richard's heart nearly broke when he saw the trepidation in her eyes. She had been fine to kiss him in the garden, but anything beyond that seemed to frighten her. This only made him hate the dead prince more. Edward was the only man she had known until now, and Richard did not wish to imagine what experiences she might have had that would have caused her to fear such intimate moments.
He would ask her about it one day, but now was not the time. In this moment, he just wanted to make it all go away. He wanted to help her forget whatever pain she had endured during her time with the enemy. He wanted to show her love as best as he possibly could. For that is what he felt for her. Love.
He loved her more than he had been able to express. His confession in the garden had been true, but he had wished that he had expressed himself better. He could have told her that he wished that her father had not taken her away to France, that he wished that he had been able to marry her first, and that she would have been spared the distress brought on by her first husband.
It was only a matter of time before these confessions came out, but for now, he needed to attend to his scared and naked wife.
He lavished her with kisses. He ran his lips over her hands and wrists, up to her neck and shoulders. He moved quickly, as his need to be with her and to heal her grew more intense by the second. He felt great joy being with her like this, but his affection did not seem to ease her.
Sensing that she still felt uncomfortable, he slowed his motions. He could not stop now, not after finally coming so far, but realized that he needed a new strategy if he was to do any good this night. He continued to move slowly. He backed away, only for a moment, so that he could reach out and closing the gap between their lips.
It was the first time they had kissed on the lips since they had become engaged. They kissed lightly, almost as if testing the waters. She responded, but not as vigorously as he had hoped. Fear was still apparent in all of her motions. He pulled away from her once more and whispered, "What is wrong?"
Through his many years of diplomacy as the king's brother, Richard found that asking simple, rhetorical questions was the best way to assuage difficult situations. Yet Ann was never particularly receptive to this tactic. Often times, she avoided his questions. She either kept her answer silent or changed the subject. This was one of those times where she held her tongue.
Richard worried that he would only make her more distressed if they continued down this path. He took another step back and looked at her. She was not the kind of woman who should be forced, so he suggested that she lead instead. He knew that she was knowledgeable and capable, so he had faith in her.
It took a moment, but she reached out to him and pulled him close once more.
She ran her hands through his long black curls before winding them down his back. He had never felt anything so wonderful. He wanted more, but he bided his time. He had always been patient, and it had served him well so far. It was sure to do so again.
They kissed for what a few moments before she grasped his hand and pulled him to the bed. Still following her lead, he laid down, and watched as she moved to sit upon him.
He could not help the gasp that came out him as she mounted him. Never before had he anticipated that his wedding night would be like this. But he understood that she needed to be the one in control.
For too long she had been the one following orders, and those orders had injured her more than anything else. Stripped of nearly everything she has ever held dear, she needed to regain her footing. Richard figured that being in control on their wedding night was a good first step.
Most men, especially most Dukes, would not be pleased to be taken under a woman. But Richard was so helpless against his desire to do right by her that he did not mind. At least from here, he could gaze upon her in all her beauty, just as he had imagined over the last few years.
She rested upon him for several moments, just looking at him. Again, almost as if she were testing her standing with her new husband. Soon, her hands began to move. She traced the ribs in his torso before curving her hands to wind up his neck to his face. Her hands rested on his cheeks as she looked down to him.
Her brow creased. She looked as though she wanted to ask him something, but she remained silent. Her uncertainty still evident, he did the only thing he could think to do. He grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips. He laid several featherings upon her fingers and said those three words once more.
She smiled softly, but then asked if he truly loved her. It was the same question she had asked when he had proposed. He had told her yes, and it had appeased her back then. Yet for some reason, he doubted such a simple answer would have the same effect this time around.
"Why are you so unsure?" he asked.
The time, she answered. "It is not that I doubt your honesty, Richard. It is just that I cannot imagine why you would love me."
Now, he was the one who hesitated. How could she doubt herself so much? She was everything to him. But then he realized that she did not know. He had spent that majority of the last few years hiding his love. Never before had he been asked about it, let alone been asked to explain it.
He felt the need to gauge more of her perspective so that he might respond accordingly. "Do you regret your decision to marry me?" he asked.
"No," she answered quickly, much to his relief. "I am overjoyed that we have made an even match, and that you agreed to someone who has so many obstacles attached to her."
"That could never have been a deterrent."
"So you would have married any girl with money who wasn't old and ugly?"
Her reference to Margaret de Beaufort's proposal made him laugh lightly, and he responded, "No, I would not have." He was still amazed that Margaret had considered him to be a potential match considering they were so different and had barely spoken.
"Then, why me?" Ann insisted.
He paused once again, trying to find the best way to explain something that he barely understood himself. This was the first time that he had been in love, and he had not prepared to give any sermons on the matter so soon.
"I find it hard to put into words," he confessed. Richard contemplated what he should say, but quickly decided that he needed to be honest. He recognized the best way to convince her of his feelings would be to tell her everything, even though he had resigned himself to keeping those moments to himself for a little while longer. He knew it was time to confess his story.
He began by asking, "Do you remember the parties the King used to throw at Court?" She nodded. "I was obligated to remain near my brothers, and that frequently meant standing aside and watching everyone else partake in the festivities. It was alright if you could find something distracting enough to hold your eye. I tied to focus on the ornaments around the room, but I usually found myself watching the people. Often times, I just ended up watching you…God, that was torture."
"Me? I made you feel worse?"
This wasn't coming out as he had hoped, so he clarified quickly. "The way you moved so easily throughout the room conversing with your friends and family. I wanted more than anything to be the one to attend to you. I wanted to be one of those people you would speak with. I even wanted to be the one you danced with, though I am not much of a dancer, myself.
"You did not dance often though, which is something that I am glad for. Firstly, because it makes me believe that you were not ever really fond of dancing. And secondly, because watching you dance with someone else made me jealous."
"You were jealous of the other boys?" she blushed.
"How could I not be? When others danced with you, they could smile at you as I had very rarely been able to do. They were able to hold your hand in public. Even rest their own hand on your waist…It was difficult watching someone else performing acts with you that I was unable to partake in myself."
Ann gasped at his brazenness. She had no idea that his feelings for her had started so long ago, just as hers had with him. She felt compelled to tell him that she often wanted to approach him during those parties and ask for a dance, but was never brave enough to be so bold. Instead, she allowed him to continue his story.
"When I heard that we might be betrothed, I cannot lie that I was pleased I would finally have a chance to touch you. To be with you as man and wife was something I had never allowed myself to hope for. I wanted more than anything for my brother to consent to the marriage, but there were too many obstacles."
Anne frowned when she realized he was alluding to the Queen's request that they not marry. She doubted that Elizabeth knew how happy it would have made the young couple, and she did not believe that the Queen would knowingly have kept them apart if she knew how much they loved one another. However, this interference only added to Ann's list of reasons to distrust the witch. Richard did not let her linger on the thought for long before he continued.
"Then your father took you away to France, and shortly afterwards news came that you were to marry Prince Edward of Lancaster." He paused before he quietly said, "It was not a match I ever envisaged for you."
"Nor I," she whispered.
Silence filled the room as both of them quietly remembered the pain of that decision.
"I feared that you were lost to me forever. I agreed to fight in the campaign at Tewksbury so that I might be able to stop Edward's forces for good. Defeating him was more than satisfactory," he added with a smirk.
"You really hated him?"
"Yes. I had always heard him to be a monster. I never thought that he deserved you. Winning you back from him was perhaps my greatest victory."
This caused them both to smile.
"How did you know that I was at the battlefield?"
"There had been rumors that Margaret D'Anjou was leading Edward's forces. Since you had been recently married, you had not yet had an opportunity to establish that you could be trusted on your own. It only made sense that the Margaret D'Anjou would keep you close."
"It was all on a whim?"
"Luck, more so, but yes."
"Well I am glad for it."
"As am I. I was happy to have found you, happier than I thought I would be... Only I was not expecting to find you being attacked by my men. I am still angry with them for treating you so."
"I must confess that I was surprised to see that you were my savior," she said.
As his confession continued, she found that she began to trust him more. She even bravely added, "I was also a bit surprised when you asked me if you loved me."
He looked away in embarrassment. "Yes, I am sorry for that. In that moment, I was so overjoyed to find you unhurt that I wasn't quite sure how to react. My words came out awkwardly, and I did the best I could to cover them up."
"It felt like a test," she admitted. "As did your telling me that Edward had died in battle."
"I never meant to make you uncomfortable. I only ever wanted to protect you."
He paused after he finished speaking, reflecting on the events of the last few months. It became apparent to him that he had not done a particularly good job at protecting her. If he had spoken up sooner about his feelings for her, he might have been able to marry her first. If he had moved faster, he could have gotten to her before his men. If he had pushed George more about his guardianship, he could have prevented her from feeling the need to run away. Suddenly, he now began to feel insecure in their relationship.
"It seems I have failed you a lot recently," he muttered.
She looked down at him this time with a look of compassion. She did not hold him accountable for the majority of the circumstances in which they had found themselves. And she was immensely grateful that he had managed to give her back some sense of freedom.
"You have not failed me."
Those few words gave him back some confidence. But he also realized that he had not heard her feelings for him since he had demanded them from her nearly 7 months ago. She had consented to marry him under the condition that he be a true husband, but he had never considered asking her if she would be a true wife.
"Do you still love me, Anne?"
His question, coupled with the look on his face, made her insanely brave. Almost immediately, she leaned down, and kissed him. She pulled back slightly and exhaled, "Yes" before leaning in to deepen the kiss.
He reciprocated tenfold, getting carried away in the moment. He sat up underneath her faster than she could have imagined possible. His arms were around her and moving rapidly around her back and his mouth and tongue began an assault on her mouth.
She started slightly at the contact. Richard realized that despite now being comfortable with him, she still needed time to become acquainted with the act of making love. He apologized, and lied back down. She leaned over to kiss him again, not wanting to take any steps backward after they had both just come so far.
If she was honest, she would have had to admit that the whole confession had comforted and excited her. She was not nearing her boiling point. Anne fumbled a bit as things progressed. While she understood the schematics of what they were doing, she had never taken the lead before. She was unsure of the best angle or the best pace, so the moved slowly as she discovered a good rhythm.
He offered her his hand, which she took for stability. One day, he would surely have her in every way imaginable. But for now, this was enough. He watched her as she moved, slowly coming undone, before the sensations he was feeling became too great for him to keep his own eyes open.
When they were both completely spent, she lied down next to him and prepared to fall asleep. Richard went under only moments later, leaving Annie to be lulled to sleep by his breathing.
In this silence, Anne remembered hearing from Isabel that marriage wasn't a happy thing. That the helpless love they had witnessed between the King and Queen was a miracle. Most couples in Court were not so lucky. Anne thought that Isabel had been speaking out of hatred for the Queen, but she saw the truth in her sister's words when she married Edward.
Edward had held her down and forced his way into her. Richard had allowed her to lead him, and encouraged her to only go so far as she felt comfortable. Even as he was hurrying earlier, he was gentle and kind. Love and marriage were separate entities with Edward, but not with Richard.
After finally getting him to speak about his feelings for her, she realized how similar the two were. They had both done everything that had been asked of them, even when it was the furthest thing from what they wanted. And as it turned out, all that they wanted was one another.
When she and Richard had been separated, they muddled through until they found a way back to each other. And now that they were together, the fit more perfectly than ever.
She understood know that their union was mutual, not just mutually beneficial. It was made out of love. It was made to last.