Meant to Be
Disclaimer - The only thing that is mine is the mindless drabble. Everything that you recognise it the property of Tolkien and those that have actually purchased any rights - If I had, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction...I'd be living it!! :D
AN:// Just a very short little one-shot that i felt the need to write at three in the morning when I couldn't sleep. Aragorn's thoughts on Arwen while he is tracking Gollum.
I am so close and yet so far away at the same time. I have been searching for many years and every time I think I am close it is snatched away from me yet again.
I have come so far, travelled in so many circles, that I know not where I belong. There was a time when I was one among the Elves, a time when, although different, I felt accepted. I am a Ranger now, a man of the west, and that 'home' was lost to me an age ago. I no longer have a home for I travel in the wilderness, living off the land...alone.
Yet still I dream. I know that it will not come true but it does not prevent me from imagining – 'what if'? I have been betrothed for almost twenty-eight years. I want to prove myself but I know I will never be good enough for my beloved. The Evenstar does not wax or wane but it does not change my own mortality. It is this weakness that I fear will separate us for eternity – yet still I dream.
When I left the home of the Elves I was told I was to become a king. I am heir to the throne of Gondor – a man in which all people will someday pin their own hopes and dreams upon, until I crumble under the pressure and responsibility. Then they will feel only disappointment towards me and I will be cast out. 'King' is a title that I do not want and that I fear I can not fulfil. A dark shadow is spreading across Middle-Earth, one that I must defeat to become something that I do not wish to be. Yet I believe that taking the throne of the White City is my only chance at securing a position worthy of the one I love, finally able to offer her stability. It is that which I look to. It is my only option.
Even now, as the sun rises on another day and the wood that I am near seems to come alive before me, a new lease of light shining through its canopy, I am surrounded by the darkness. Those of my bloodline, from whom I am descended, were weak. It is the same weakness, I fear, that flows through my veins. My Love once told me that I was stronger than those who had gone before. I desire to believe her for I know that she would not lie to me, yet I feel that it is only from her own hope that she believes in me. I know that she wishes me to claim the throne of men, with her as my queen. I know this because it is what I also long for – the day when we can bind together – one for all eternity.
I am prevented from doing this. My path has become indistinguishable amidst the chaos of life. I am currently tracking a foul, loathsome creature, one which I see no importance in. I follow directions blindly, trusting that there is a reason behind it. It leaves me to question whether that is a good quality in a supposed leader, to blindly walk into the unknown – into danger. I am even more convinced that they have chosen the wrong man to perform such an enormous task. How can they expect me to unite all the peoples of Middle-Earth under one banner? I am too weak to carry this heavy burden. I fear it will consume me.
I know that in the coming years I will face a great task, one that I may not return from. If I die in battle then I would be spared the pain of watching the land and its people burn. It would be unjust! Why should I be spared suffering in spite of the pain of all others? At least if I live to see failure I will face it as others will be forced to.
There is but a slim chance that I will eventually become King and take Arwen as My Queen. Even though this is the case, I have recently become increasingly aware that it is all that I think about. Everything I do, even the chasing of this creature, I wonder how it may lead me to achieve the life I have always prayed for.
I go about gathering up my supplies and destroying my camp, leaving no trace of myself behind. I must find this un-earthly being, Gollum, and continue on my journey – for I know that it will be difficult. There will be many obstacles in my path; there will be times when it will seem hopeless. I will look to everything I do with Arwen's face in my mind's eye, giving me strength. I must always hope that, if and when we succeed, we will be together – the way it is meant to be.
AN:// Review! Go on, you know you want to press the button!