Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.
It was nothing.
They didn't really mean anything by it, it was a distraction.
The blonde did it to feel pain. To keep his mind off Kira.
The redhead did it to feel SOMETHING. To keep his mind off the internal pain.
What they did was hardly lust. And it definitely wasn't love.
Even though the blonde would scream that he loved the redhead.
Even though the redhead would yell, "I love you so fucking much, God dammit!" as he would feel release.
Because it was a release to them. A release from Kira, Near, and even eachother. A release from heavy thoughts and heavy hearts.
And when they were done and lying there, half-asleep, they would pretend. Pretend to be normal. Pretend they were in love and that was why they were doing this.
But it wasn't love.
It wasn't love, but the two were in love.
Mello loved Matt.
Matt loved Mello.
They completed each other.
Neither new about the other, but how could they? They barely knew it themselves.
Even though they were each other's first kisses at Wammy's. Even though they would prefer to be with each other than anything else. Even though they sinned each night and took each other's original innocence and continued to pick at it with each thrust and each moan.
And even though they didn't know it, they would pretend they did.
And then in the morning, they would leave the world of make-believe and enter the world filled with ex-mafia men, scars, Death Gods, and Kira.
Because Kira was driving them insane.
And in doing so, driving them together.
Insanity drove them together, too.
Just another reason on the list.
They are at it again, Matt thrusting into Mello until they reach their climax together.
The neighbor turns up the volume on the TV, blocking them out. In the morning, they deny it happened. But it happened, just asked the neighbors.
It's not love.
It's not lust.
It's not even nothing.
It's just something.