He's dead. She can't believe it, but he's dead. Peeta Mellark, the father of her children is dead. How is it possible? He saved her life so many times and now she wasn't able to save him. Katniss hears footsteps in the hall, telling her that her children are home. Gale Hawthorne is in the living room, she knows that. He did say he would take care of them for a while.
"What's wrong with mommy?" She hears her little girl ask. Katniss can't hear Gale's reply, but her daughter's voice carries. "Oh… where's daddy?" She still doesn't understand. But how could she? She's only ten. Katniss forces herself to get up and go to them. They need her and she doesn't want to make them resent her like she did with her mother, "Mommy!" The little girl grins. She has his eyes. "Where's daddy?"
Katniss takes a deep breath, trying to figure out how to explain it to her daughter. "Sweetie . . . you remember what happened when the wild dogs killed your cat." The little girl nods solemnly, remembering her kitten. "And how she went to a better place where she could see all kinds of other animals and humans and make lots more friends?" She wants to start crying, to retreat or ask Gale to explain it. He is their step-father, after all. But she forces herself to continue.
The little girl nods, "Yeah, but daddy's not a kitty."
"No, he's not, but he's with the kitty now. He was . . ." She takes a deep breath, "We don't know exactly what happened, sweetie," She lies, unwilling to tell her daughter what really happened. How would you explain to a little girl that her father was brutally murdered? Just that thought makes Katniss remember the scene. Her husband lying on the floor, gutted with the intestines strewn about the room. His head had been cut open, revealing his brain and his lungs were hung from the ceiling like some kind of bizarre decoration. Blood on the walls had read the words you'll be next. As cliché as it is, it's a billion times worse when you're staring at it for yourself. The smell had been terrible. The whole room had reeked of death. "He's happy now," She whispers, although she doesn't believe it herself.
"Why don't you go outside and play?" Gale asks the small children. They nod and run outside to the yard where they throw sticks for the stray dog that came by their house every so often. "Are you feeling okay?" He asks Katniss softly.
"Of course, I am." Katniss lies, but she's always been a terrible liar. "Go watch the kids. I don't want them getting hurt." He hesitates, but he goes out to watch the kids. She goes back into the bedroom and closes the door, refusing to let herself cry again. But she misses Peeta and she wishes she had longer with him and had cherished his company while she had it. She had been foolish to let him go.
All she wants right now is to be with him again. She goes into the master bathroom and opens the medicine cabinet. Taking the bottle of anti-depressants she had been prescribed with, she dumps the contents out into her hand. She doesn't want to live without Peeta. Yes, Gale is good and kind and she does love him. But she could never love him more than she loved – no, loves – Peeta. It's as the old saying goes; You can never forget your first love. And hers is gone forever.
She wants to be with him again.
Katniss takes a glass and fills it with water from the tap. As she stares at the five pills in her hand, she considers it through grief-filled thoughts. Yes, she knows she isn't being rational, but she doesn't feel as if she'll ever be able to live without Peeta. Not even if it's for her children.
Before she can completely think it through, she swallows the pills and water.
Within minutes, she collapses on the ground, her body giving up the fight as hot blood forces its way out of her mouth. Her world fades to black as the pain takes over.
Katniss Everdeen is found half an hour later by her second husband. In a recount of the scene, Gale will say that his wife looked peaceful, with a smile on her face instead of her trademark smirk.