Let The Voices Scream
By HanyouGohan
Chapter One shot/Partial Song Fic
Disclaimer I own nothing
Author's Note This story is a little on the dark side. If you're not in to dark fics, then I advise you don't read this.
I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more
So much more
…I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming.
Life is too hard to live...That's what she thought as she made her way across the yard. As she fell onto her bed. As she cried herself away.
Too many people had thrown their lives away. Too many people didn't know what to live for. She didn't know what she was living for. The one thing she had hoped and prayed for could never be in her life, unless it was in a painful bloody manor. But that's not what he wanted.
He didn't want what she dreamed for. He didn't know the lie she lived was all for him. But did it really matter? Did she really need to push herself past her own limits to make half known friends happy? No, it was her life...not theirs. They had no control over her action. They only saw the effect. They only saw the after math of her stupid and most recent mistakes.
The tears...the blood. The scraped, the bruises. The rips and screams. They saw it all, but didn't know what to do for her.
She smiled...
The didn't need to know, now did they? They didn't hear the whispers in her head, the torment screaming in her soul, or the cried and wails she let pull her into shadows. She looked like an ordinary girl from the other side of the well. Nothing special there.
She had worked so hard for his attention and please. But that never came, there was always something more. Something much bigger that he wanted from her. And it was something she couldn't quite give him all the time. Something she needed to work hard to find. But he didn't care. He just wanted it, all of it. All she worked for, he took. But that's how it worked now wasn't it.
Her smile grew, her eyes darkened...
But nothing she ever did made him happy. Nothing she ever strived for lifted him up. He never smiled at her, or congratulated her. He always looked at the darker side of the matter. He always moved on before the sentence ended. He couldn't finish anything. Not if it messed up his life.
But she was willing to backtrack and sort things out so when he did move ahead she would know what he was going for. He never talked to her, so she had to figure it out on her own...or else he'd yell at her again. That she didn't want. But she didn't want him to be pleased in her anymore either.
She cried...
She was nothing anymore. There was nothing about her that pleased her. When she looked in a mirror she screamed and when she went into her thoughts, she felt as if she were dying. There was nothing there for her. She hated herself. Many people loved her...no they loved the act. They loved when she put on a stage performance of herself to make them smile. They loved the lie. There was nothing in there that would please anyone. Not even him. Him especially. He would never even smile upon her act. What if he saw her now? What would he do? Why did she care?
The whispers...
They were there. They were listening and taunting. She paid attention. She listened with all her heart, and finally let it out. All of it buried inside her. The voices told her to let it go, finish it off. Would she? Why not. It would end the sorrow. It would end the years of pain she went through. There's nothing ever to live for, so why? Why did she try so hard to make it through a night with him night after night? Why was it day after day she followed in his steps with the other poor misleading souls? Why did she care? She brought it on herself. The voices hissed at her again. She covered her ears and whimpered.
Can't they leave her alone? The torment is already too much. Pushing it...prying into it. The screams that erupted filled her ears. Why!
She screamed...
It irrupted through the house as if demons were finally letting loose. The bangs on her locked door filled her mind with the screaming that still rushed through her mind. As the tears fell and the blood spewed from something dark inside of her. Her heart was letting go. There was nothing there. He had hated her. Even when she tried, he hated her. Why spill all that's left in her heart for nothing? There was not reason. There was no where left to go. No where left to turn. As her scream came to a halt, as her voice faded into the darkness of her sorrow filled heart, the banging on the door continued. The muffled cries of fear from the other side of nothing still whispered in her ears. She stopped listening to the world around her. She stopped. Only listening to the voices inside her head, to the crying of her soul, to the bleeding of her heart. Was there anything else left?
He was gone, there was nothing else. Nothing in this life...
Her smile...
The fear in her heart was gone, she knew what to do. She knew that this life was over and that the next would never come. The banging on the locked door continued, but she heard nothing. There was nothing there. A world of darkness and pain. Torment and sorrow. Lies and deceit. Her world. His world. The one world that still lived in everyone waiting to be awaken by the dark spirits that whisper through your mind. The lies floating in the air, and the blood dripping...waiting to have a chance. Waiting for their time to rise.
Her eyes grew wide...
This was her time. This was the time when she said goodbye to the world that lapsed around her. This was when she showed how much she loved him, and now hated him. No tears spilt for him, no blood for him. All for her and her wise happy whispered choice. The one thing that brought relief unto her eyes, and let her blood flow freely.
Her scream irrupted again...
The banging that had ceased returned. She all but wished it would go away. Making the ending perfect and the return impossible. Perfect. The voices that were once whispering fear and darkness into her mind screaming with the soul inside of her.
The blade, the blade of hate and death and darkness...setting in her hands. Playing music in her mind, and lighting up her dark eyes. This was her time. this was the day were everything would be as it was supposed to be.
The banging had nothing to do with her life. The lives behind that door were nothing. He was gone, he had nothing in her life anymore. Nothing he did meant a thing. Nothing he did told her what to do. He was nothing, and would be nothing forever.
The screams erupted. Her little brother cried. Her mother wailed. HE banged on the window. The blood poured and mixed wit the rain. The rain was like acid melting through the walls, and cascading into her soul. This was the perfect time. the one time
The blade...
The blood...
Her life...
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cried for deliverance
Will I be denied?
Christ, Tourniquet... My suicide
There's that. Please R&R, I'd love some feedback!
"Death unto you I say hello. I saw the cries and heard the blood. Now that
you lifted me from my shackles I welcome you."