Nick: Three hearts? Three brains? How the heck did that happen?
Theanimedude: Well, I've wanted to get to that, so I figured I'd write a little back-story for that.
Nick: O RLY-
Theanimedude: Don't start with that.
Nick: Okay... Hey, where's Fang?
Theanimedude: Hidden in the shadows. Like a ninja.
Nick: ... Ah.
Theanimedude: Alright, so back on topic- Have you ever played Portal?
Nick: (Thinking) How is that on topic? Um, no.
Theanimedude: Portal 2?
Nick: Yeah. Why?
Theanimedude: Well this is basically the "Lab Rat" of Nick the Eraser. I could give the short version in like, two minutes, but I'm going to write the whole thing anyway.
Nick: Okay... disclaimer?
Theanimedude: Sure.
Nick: Theanimedude owns me. The following is a fan-based parody. Maximum Ride and all of its respecting characters belong to James Patterson. Please support the official release.
Theanimedude: Annnnnnd so begins Nick the Eraser: Origin of the Beast.
Nick the Eraser: Origin of the Beast.
He wasn't supposed to be that way. No, he wasn't supposed to become a murderer. He wasn't supposed to have an abundance of organs in his body. He was going to be another winged boy, just like the others.
He was also going to die before he was born.
But fate dealt him a different hand- and so he lived. The full story has never been told- it has been locked away inside of the mind of a middle school student with no professional career. Until now.
3-3-3-3-3
"Hey Larry," he said to him, walking across the room with his hands behind his back. "We've done it!"
"Done what, Randall?" Lawrence Thomson sighed in response. "And I've told you to stop calling me that."
He was a tall, serious man, with black hair and blue eyes. He worked at a school for Itex in Texas.
"Yeah, yeah," Randall Hefley said dismissively, "And I've told you to call me Rand- but listen, I've made it!"
Randall was a little bit doglike, in his way that everything was huge for him. Happy meant elated, upset meant devastated. He had brown hair and hazel eyes, and was slightly shorter than his lab partner.
"Made what?" Larry asked exasperatedly.
"The first ever manmade non-robotic artificial intelligence!" Rand said, holding up a jar with what looked like a tiny red blob inside of it.
"What?" Larry asked with surprise.
"It's alive!" Rand said in his best Victor Frankenstein voice. "Two pieces of two separate brains, and two pieces of two separate hearts, beating and pulsing with life, growing as we speak!"
"Oh no," Larry said, staring at the blob with terror. "You didn't..."
"Yes!" Rand said, holding the jar up in the air. "I put the symbiotic life form inside of it!"
"Randall, you know I told you to get rid of that!" Larry shouted. "I can't believe this."
"But that would've been such a waste," Randall said with a frown. "Why are you so upset? You should be happy for me!"
"No, Randall," Larry said with his palm pressed against his forehead. "My instincts told me that that thing was dangerous since the moment we found it underground."
"Instincts?" Rand asked him with a cock of his head. "Naw, does it look dangerous to you?"
"No," Larry said. "But it feels like danger. I'm serious, Randall, we need to get rid of that thing right now."
"What?" Rand said with a look of horror. "No! I finished this on my own; I don't deserve to be told what I can or can't do with it." As he said this, he hugged the jar closer to himself.
"Randall, give me the jar." Larry said in a dark voice. Rand stared at him angrily before stepping backwards.
"You don't want me to accomplish something," he said slowly and quietly.
"What?"
"You don't want me to feel like I've done something, to impress other people with my work."
"Randall, that's ridiculous," Larry said with a shake of his head. "I just don't want anybody to get hurt."
"I've recreated life, Larry!" Rand pressed on, holding the jar out in front of him and glaring at his partner. "I did it! Not you- ME. You've always done everything. You don't want me to do something. It's alllll about you, isn't it!"
"That isn't true," Larry insisted. "That thing is dangerous. You can't feel it?"
"What is dangerous about another human being?" Rand asked. "It's not anything but another person slowly forming!"
"Like the countless kids they experimented on in California?" Larry asked him. "Six survived. Six. Either that thing survives and brings disaster to us all or it dies before it's grown enough to live."
"You don't know that!" Rand insisted. "We're scientists. We experiment. We've never done anything exactly like this. We don't know what the outcome will be."
"Randall, give me the jar," Larry demanded, holding out his hand threateningly.
"No!"
"Randall, I'm serious!"
"You can't have it!"
With that, Larry lunged at his partner, grabbing the jar and attempting to pry it out of his hand. Randall yelped in surprise before yanking back. The two yanked and pulled and did most anything to get the jar out of the other's hands before it eventually slipped out of the quarrel. It landed on the floor and shattered into hundreds of glass shards.
"Now look what you've done!" Randall shouted furiously, but Larry was two focused on what the beating, pulsing life-form in front of him was doing to hear him.
The molecular creature leapt to Larry's shoe, looking like a red ant as it crawled up his pant leg and disappeared.
Larry almost instantly fell to the ground, gasping for breath and clawing at his leg.
"Larry?" Rand squeaked. "What's happening?"
The man was yelling now, his eyes going bloodshot, his leg beginning to bleed from his furious scratching. He suddenly leapt to his feet and flailed about randomly, throwing himself across the room repetitively while still screaming bloody murder. Randall backed into a corner, quaking with fear. What had happened?
Then, the tallest of the pair froze, his eyes going bloodshot before he collapsed on the white tiled floor. The room formerly known as lab was now splattered by different colors of chemicals and what was left of the shelves holding them up. It looked like a rainbow had crashed through the room, destroying everything in it and exploding in the process.
"Larry?" Rand whispered, cautiously and shakily approaching his unconscious partner. "A-Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," a chilling voice said seconds later as Thomson rose from the floor. More than the voice was different, though- Lawrence had risen without moving a muscle. And he was also emblazoned with a dim red light.
"Larry?"
"What is it, Randall?" the man asked, eyes still squeezed shut, though he grinned in a ghastly fashion. His mouth hadn't moved with the words he spoke.
"A-are you feeling alright? You look... different."
"I feel fine," the man said, his eyes opening to reveal a demonic crimson in place of his regular, serious blue. "Better than ever."
With that, the crimson light exploded from his eyes and blanketed the room like a heavy mist.
Randall Hefley's screams couldn't have been drowned out by a thousand train engines.