A/N: Today is my 10th year anniversary here on ffnet and I really wanted to post something, but I'm not finished with the next chapter for my ongoing fic yet. So I found an old drabble from ages ago and cleaned it up a bit. I'm not up-to-date in the KH fandom (basically my knowledge ends at KH2), but I hope this is still alright.

Some Saix/Axel if you squint.

NrVII

Axel couldn't stand not living without a heart, and was destroyed by getting too close to one. He was weak.

That was life. That was reality. Fools who can't accept such simple facts deserve to die.

Do we even live? No. When we speak of dying it is merely because of the convenience of that term. One must exist before being able to die.

It seems that many of my colleagues have difficulty grasping this concept. They go around acting as if they have hearts, fooling themselves, all while continuing to dream the same dream we all have- to complete Kingdom Hearts. Blasphemers of the heart, cheapening the value of what they do not posses. Weaklings.

This is our fate. Our curse. Masquerading as beings with hearts is a futile and pathetic ambition that contradicts the very goal we strive for. Those below me seem to lack what it takes to lock away the remnants of their emotions to pursue Kingdom Hearts ruthlessly as it must, while those above me…

I confess, at times I wonder why they want their hearts back. The original six apprentices of Ansem the Wise… their intentions remain as veiled to me as they always have. It is one trait that I share with every other member below me. We remain chained to these dismal walls and this bleak uniformity.

How does one like me end up being the second-highest in the Organization in terms of command? Simple. I am the most loyal pawn. When the others look upon me they see a drone, a mindless tool. Why would a being so thoroughly lacking a heart work so diligently to recover it, they wonder? Surely, they think, he no longer needs or deserves a heart. They see me as the one trapped in this Organization for the complete lack of ability to do anything else.

They aren't completely wrong.

The truth is, the desire to have our hearts again is within all of us, though the reasons may vary. It is an instinct woven into our very beings… and so is the urge to simulate the emotions we might have felt in any given situation.

But only weaklings allow themselves to be mastered by emotions that we do not actually feel. It is an insult to the potent beauty that is the true heart. A pitiful crime for us to lurk like ghosts around the living, whole beings that we cannot touch. Sad, foolish waste of effort.

For now, I am a tool. A shell. A Nobody. I will live in this charade of existence as long as it takes for us to succeed, and he is the only one that knows the reason why. For my light. For my heart.

For him.

If anyone reading this follows TWTBW, I hope to update it soon. Keep an eye on my profile for progress info.