No Life After You, a twilight fanfic

Driving always calmed her down. She would blast the radio, sing along at the top of her lungs, and just drive to wherever the road took her. No set plans, no decided destinations. Just her, the road, and the music.

Sometimes, it only took a few minutes for her to feel better. Like the time her dad flipped out because she got home ten minutes after curfew. She had run back out to her car, driven off as quickly as she could, and come back ten minutes later, ready to calmly face Charlie and explain that she had needed to stop for gas on the way home.

Other times, though, it took longer. Like now. As she drove back into Forks, Bella could hardly believe that it was exactly a year ago today that she had been driving away. It seemed almost silly now, but she couldn't make herself regret the decision to leave.

~~~~Flashback~~~~

When she left, she was so angry. It was almost midnight, and she was exhausted. But the next thing she knew, it was about two and a half days later, and she was in front of her mom's house in Jacksonville. She couldn't remember stopping at all, and based on the amount of time it took her, it appeared she had driven the whole way nonstop.

Her mom hadn't asked questions; she just welcomed her in, glad to have her back. Bella had refused to go to Florida when her dad passed away. She was in college, old enough to make her own decisions, and wanted nothing more than to stay in Forks. It was home. She had her friends, the love of her life… She was happy. Then, in one night, it had all fallen apart.

She had been so sure that Edward was going to propose to her that night. They had been together for six years, since their freshman year in high school. They had talked about getting married, and he always told her that he wanted to be with her forever. She had loved him so much, and she thought he loved her. Their friends were all totally committed to their respective other. Alice and Jasper were engaged. Emmett and Rosalie were about to have a baby, and were planning to get married shortly after the baby was born. Alice and Rosalie had always told Bella that they were absolutely certain she would be the first one to get married off, and she had believed it. Her relationship with Edward was perfect, and she knew he was the only one for her, so her friends settling down before her was a bit unnerving, to say the least.

He had texted her during class that day, saying that his lab was going to run late, and he would meet her at their favorite restaurant around nine. She hadn't been expecting to go out to dinner, but thought nothing of it. Edward did special things for her all the time, so it wasn't really a shock that he spontaneously wanted to go out to dinner.

She sat at La Bella Italia, and was about to get really upset, when he walked about half an hour late. She saw him, and her anger literally melted away. Her love for him made her instantly forget that he was late. He walked over, kissed her passionately, and apologized. They had sat and enjoyed a cozy dinner, then decided to head home to the apartment they shared. Driving home, Bella felt more relaxed than she had in a long while. She wasn't stressing out over school or work at the moment, and all she could think about was getting home to be with Edward.

Alice had been texting her all day, telling her that today was definitely the day he would propose. She had said he was acting funny all day, like he was really anxious about something, and when she asked if it was about Bella, he had answered in the affirmative. So, Bella figured that when they got home, he would wait until the right moment, get down on one knee, and pop the question.

When they walked into the house, he had put on one of her favorite movies, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, and they had cuddled up on the couch together. The movie had ended at about half past eleven, and Edward had silently shut the television off. Bella wasn't too alarmed, and figured he would just propose in his own time. So, she got up to head to bed, but he stopped her. She could still remember the strange feeling in her stomach when he had said, "We need to talk."

She blew it off, sat back down and asked him what was up. Every word he had said then was still painfully clear in her heart and mind, even a year later. "Bella, you know I love you, right?" She could only nod, already on the verge of panic. "And you know how Em and Rose are looking forward to their baby, and Alice is planning her and Jazz's wedding?" Again, she nodded, now sensing a glimmer of hope. "Well, I've been thinking." At that point, he became silent. As the silence stretched, Bella started to internally freak out. "And?" she prompted, urging him to continue. "I think it would be a good idea if we take a break. I mean, I really don't think we're ready for anything that serious. Of course, we can still live here together. I'll move to the guest room. We'll just… not be together, as a couple, for awhile." She had just stared at the floor, hoping to hear him say that he was joking. He hadn't. Instead, he had only continued ripping her heart out. "This is the only real relationship either of us has ever been in, and I think we need to see what else is out there before we tie ourselves down. Say something, please." She had made herself look into his eyes then, and saw no hint that he was kidding. Trying to stay calm, she asked, "Yes or no. Are you serious?" He had looked her directly in the eye, and simply nodded his head yes. That was all she needed to know. She got up, grabbed her purse and her car keys, and walked to the door. She took one look back, told him as calmly as she could manage to go to hell, and walked out the door.

~~~~End Flashback~~~~

That was the last time she had spoken to Edward. She had changed her phone number, and blocked his emails. She had transferred to a college near Jacksonville. Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper had all been given her new phone number, and she had told all of them that any mention of Edward would result in the offender being removed from her life as viciously as Edward had been. All four had grudgingly agreed, making it no secret that they thought she should talk to him, but never mentioning him after that.

Rosalie and Emmett had tried to get her to come and visit when their baby was born, but she kept making excuses. The truth was, she was still angry, and was afraid to see Edward with someone else. However, when Alice had informed her of the date of her wedding, she knew that if she missed it, none of them would ever forgive her, and knew that she would have to go back for a day or two. She had it all planned out. She would arrive the night before, and leave the morning after. She felt no need to be around any longer than was absolutely necessary.

It was now about a month until the wedding, and, according to her plan, she should definitely not be about fifteen miles outside of Forks right now. However, when she had looked at the calendar a few days ago and noticed she had been gone almost exactly a year, she decided it was time to grow up and deal with her issues.

It was nearing midnight, and Bella felt it would be best to drive through Forks and stay in a hotel in Port Angeles for the night. It meant about another hour of driving, but she didn't want to bug anyone this late at night. As she drove, the radio station started to turn to static, so she reached over and switched it to her old favorite, the one radio station based in Forks that played every kind of music imaginable.

Instead of hearing music immediately, she heard an advertisement for the local grocery store, then the theme music for some radio deejay who went by the name "Dr. Love". She chuckled, thinking it was pretty lame. Then she heard his voice. "This is late night radio with Dr. Love. I'll be here all night, taking your questions and requests." Then some random rap song started. Bella was in shock. That voice… she would know it anywhere. Dr. Love was Edward! She could feel her chest tightening, and pulled off to the side of the road, trying to catch her breath.

She put her truck in park, and just sat there, listening to the radio. She wanted to hear his voice again, to know she hadn't just imagined it. As the song ended, she turned up the volume. She didn't have to wait long before hearing, "We are back, and we have a caller. What is your name?" After a year, his voice hadn't changed. But, being Dr. Love, she was certain he had moved on. She chose to quit thinking, and just listen. She would enjoy him anyway she could, even if it was just his voice. "Hi, I'm Jacob. Dr. Love, how do you tell someone you love them?" "Well, Jacob, I'm probably not the best person to ask. But I would say the best way to tell someone you love them is often. Never, for a second, doubt that you love them, and tell them as frequently as possible exactly how you feel." Bella sighed. He was definitely still the same, poetic and romantic to a fault. "Why aren't you the best person to ask?" Jacob wondered, voicing Bella's own question. "Well, that's a bit personal, but, I guess, since it's almost midnight and you are probably the only person awake listening to this, it can't hurt to tell you. You see, I had a girl… No, I had the girl. She was perfect. I loved her, and I know for a fact that she loved me. But at one point, everyone around us, all of our friends, were getting engaged and having kids, and I panicked. I thought that I wasn't ready for that, but the truth is, I was just being a chickenshit. I told her that we needed a break, and she walked out on me. She totally cut me out of her life. I haven't spoken to her since, and that was… Well, as of about right now, it was exactly a year ago. I don't know where she is, or if she even cares about me anymore. I do wish she could hear this, and hear me say that I know I was wrong. Anyway, that's enough about me. Isabella, if you are out there somewhere, this next song is for you. I love you."

Bella was in tears. She never would have thought he would regret that night. It was his decision. But worse than that, Edward was one of those people who always refused to admit he was wrong and never liked to publicly address his feelings. And here he was, declaring his love for her, as well as how wrong he was, over a public radio. Granted, he probably figured that a cold day in hell was more likely than her hearing him.

It was fate, she decided. Fate had brought her back here, and she wanted to tell Edward that she still loved him, too. Those feelings were magnified ten-fold when she heard the song he had so lovingly dedicated to her.

Ten miles from town and I just broke down
Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road
I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know

After all that had gone wrong, it was still the smallest details he remembered. Daughtry was one of her favorite groups. For her nineteenth birthday, Edward had taken her to a Daughtry concert. The group had done a cover of Keith Urban's song Making Memories of Us, and he had asked her to dance. They danced right there in the aisle, and it was then that he leaned down to whisper in her ear, asking her to move in with him. Since then, any time there was major occurrence in their relationship, like the first time they fell asleep in each other's arms, or the first time they made love, he had managed to tie the memory to some song by Daughtry. Even now, when he didn't really know it, he was doing it again. This song would always make her think of the night they got back together.

Believe me I won't stop at nothin'
To see you so I've started runnin'
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you

She looked around, and realized she had stopped just on the Port Angeles side of Forks. Quickly, she pulled a u-turn, then made her way carefully back into Forks, back toward Edward.

Last time we talked, the night that I walked
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wastin' my time
Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you

She was smiling like an idiot, and she didn't mind in the slightest. For the first time in the past year, she felt like everything would be alright.

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one
After this time I spent alone
It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind
Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind

She couldn't help but to think how right the words to the song seemed. There really was no life after Edward. The last year had gone by in a fog. Nothing was very clear, and it really felt as though the whole year was just missing from her memory. Really, there was nothing to remember. Just loneliness and emptiness. She and Edward were meant to be together, and it was apparent that, now, he knew that, too.

So I'm runnin' back to tell you
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
Without you God knows what I'd do, yeah
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' 'bout all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through, yeah
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you
Know there's no life after you, yeah

She drove straight past the radio station. As much as she wanted to just go in and tell him how she felt, she had a better idea. She only hoped he hadn't changed the locks.

As she pulled up to the apartment, she was a little bit nervous. What if this upset him? What if he didn't want her back, despite loving her? What if he had moved someone else in? Tired of thinking "What if…", she parked her truck at the back of the building, where he wouldn't see it and went inside.

Her key still worked, and the apartment hadn't changed a bit, except that it was pretty messy. She wanted to think that Edward had been so depressed over her leaving that he hadn't been able to find the energy to continue being the neat freak he normally was, but then felt bad and decided it didn't matter. It just made her plan a little more interesting.

Edward closed the station down at about two o'clock in the morning. It had been a hard night, and he wanted to kill that Jacob kid. Sure, he hadn't been forced to explain, but it made him feel better to blame someone. He drove back to the apartment, ready to pass out on the couch. He hadn't been able to sleep in the bedroom for the past year. It just felt wrong without Bella. All night, he had been wondering where she was, and what she was up to. He just wished he could fix this. He sat in the Volvo for about ten minutes, simply dreading going into the empty apartment.

When he walked into the apartment, he was a bit confused. It was totally spotless, and he knew he hadn't left it that way. Also, he noticed the light on in the kitchen. He never left lights on when he left. Slowly, he walked to the kitchen.

There, he found the table set for a candlelight dinner for two. He could smell lasagna, his favorite food. Looking around, he finally saw her. Standing in the corner nearest the doorway, was his Bella. She was wearing a floor length, dark blue dress. He blinked, trying to make the vision go away. If he believed she was there, it would only hurt more when he realized she wasn't. "Bella…" he sighed, as she walked closer. "Edward…" she replied. "Are you really here?" "Yes. Can we talk after dinner? I made your favorite." Edward agreed, and the two sat and ate in silence.

After dinner, they moved to the living room and sat on the couch. They sat in silence, not taking their eyes off of one another. Edward spoke first. "What are you doing here?" Bella took a deep breath, and then began. "I was going to come back next month for Alice and Jasper's wedding. I thought about it the other day, and realized it had been almost a year. I decided I needed to come and talk to you. I was going to stay in Port Angeles tonight and come by tomorrow, but then I heard you on the radio." "Bella, you don't have to…" Edward interrupted, but Bella placed a quick kiss on his lips to hush him and then continued to tell him everything. "I heard your voice, and pulled over to listen. Then I heard what you told that guy, Jacob. I heard you put yourself out there like that, and I knew I had to talk to you tonight. I love you, too, Edward. And that song was perfect. If you want, I can leave. I just had to see you. I couldn't stand to wait until tomorrow." Edward grasped her hand. "Don't leave. Please. Never again. I don't think I could survive losing you again." With that said, Edward pulled her close, and kissed her with as much passion as he could muster.

A few moments later, Edward pulled away. "Don't move," he ordered, getting up and going to the bedroom. When he came back, he got down on one knee in front of her. "Edward…" Bella tried to stop him. "Shush. Just listen. I love you. I had this for about six months before I pushed you away. I wanted nothing more than to make you officially mine, but when everything started happening with Alice, Jazz, Emmett, and Rosalie, I got scared. I began to doubt us, and convinced myself that I wasn't sure if I could handle it. Isabella, when I lost you, I lost it all. I had nothing left, and it took me about half a second after the door slammed to realize it. At first, I thought you just needed to cool down, and that you would be back. I should have gone after you. When I decided I needed to grow a pair and find you to straighten it out, you had cut me off. Everyone acted like you never existed, and Alice told me later it was because you wanted it that way. I figured you didn't want me anymore. But now, you are here, and I don't want to lose you again. I know it will probably take some time for us to really fix everything, but until then, I still want this ring to be where it should have been the day I met you. I know now, as I knew then, that you are the one for me. So, I guess what I'm trying to ask is, will you marry me?"

Bella looked at him in shock for a moment, before attacking his lips with her own. He smiled hugely at her when she broke away, and she said, "You can take that as a yes." He put the ring on her finger, then led her to their bedroom. No more words needed to be spoken. There would be plenty of time for that tomorrow. Right now, what he needed, what he knew she needed, was for the two of them to make love, and to simply be together, as they truly were meant to be.

~~~~One Year Later~~~~

As Edward sang the words in her ear, the past year flashed through her mind. One year ago today, Edward had asked her to marry him. Today, she had done just that. Without a doubt, she could say the past year had been perfect.

She remembered the morning after he proposed. She had heard a knock on the door, and, wanting to let Edward sleep, had tossed on one of his button-down shirts and gone to answer it. It had turned out to be a bad idea, as Alice, who did not know Bella was even back in Forks, had been standing on the other side of the door. "ISABELLA MARIE SWAN, WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? AND IN HIS CLOTHES, TOO?" It had been terrifying at the time, but now it was just a funny memory.

Sharing their first dance as Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen, Bella and Edward looked around the room at all their friends and family, everyone close to them, and then looked into each other's eyes. They were where they belonged, where they had always belonged. A single year could make such a huge difference, as could a single moment, and neither of them ever wanted to waste another moment without the other. Holding each other close, they looked at one another and sang together.