This is a short piece about Allen Walker from the point of view of his Innocence. At first, it was just a pov by someone around Allen, but it made less sense that way. It is actually rather inspired by Kuroeia's fic, 'Killed the Cat'- a fic I highly recommend to all Bleach fans. It is also rahter inspired by the quote at the beginning, of course. This odd piece has been sitting on my laptop for months and it was starting to bug me with its lack of purpose, so I figured I'd post it just because. Now, on with the story!
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Bright as the Sun
"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow."
~James Dean
…Your soul is so bright, Allen Walker. It's blinding. And while the light cast from it is nearly unbearable, your soul is the most pleasant I have ever looked upon. While there are only a select few of the great many that you are told are on your side that come close, there is not one soul that I can see (and I see them all) that can match yours. Lenalee, Lavi, Miranda… they come close, but few others can so much as hold a candle to you- to you whose soul looks as bright as the sun.
You have a slight shadow, but there will always be shadow where there is light. And yet, even your shadow is different- rather… translucent. How do you do it, Allen Walker? How do you continue to dream as if you'll live forever and live as if you'll die tomorrow? How do you give everyone around you hope and still manage to hold on to any for yourself? For you must retain some hope for the future… though, perhaps I am wrong? You would fight even if the world was doomed, even if you knew that there was absolutely nothing else that could be done to save it. You, who have jumped towards a bomb (read: self-destructing Akuma), instead of away from it, ought to understand hope least of all.
And yet you fight on. You fight for killing machines that try to kill you, kill your loved ones. You fight for human beings that are ignorant of what you do, and will never truly appreciate your sacrifices. You fight for an organization that will betray you, that will try to destroy you, no matter how turn-coat a Noah the previous 14th was. In the end, you fight and that is all.
That is all that there will ever be for you, right Allen Walker? Is there anything else left of you, Allen Walker? Is there a real person behind that never ending optimism? Is there any pain behind that endless smile? Is there bitterness or resentment behind your never ending forgiveness? Is there a lack of surety behind that endless determination?
You hardly seem human anymore, Allen Walker. Is it because you possess a Noah? Or is it simply because you've given yourself away, piece by piece? The person 'Allen Walker' is dead, he must be. You said it yourself: "I'm Allen, an Exorcist, and I'd die before I became anything else." Does that 'else' include human- mortal- a creature responsible for its own happiness alone? It must, seeing as the Exorcist, Allen Walker, seems to be all that's left. You said 'left hand is for the Akuma and my right is for mankind,' but what about you, Allen Walker? Noah? Exorcist? Cursed, human child?
The Innocence is cruel, I know. But I never thought it would leave nothing of you. This 'God'… this God of the Church is even crueler. Weren't they- the Exorcists- his apostles, his chosen, the ones he loved best? If that is so then this God is worse than the Earl, worse than the other Noah, the Akuma, worse than humanity. If that is so, it is best to be like 'Allen Walker,' the Exorcist. After all, the only thing left of that Allen Walker is this 'God's' war, yes?
And despite all of this, your soul shines brighter than any other. So surely, I am wrong. You have more to you than this war? There is still Allen Walker the Friend, the Leader, the Comrade, the Lover, the Clown? You have not been consumed by the Martyr, Allen Walker? Is this truly why you shine so brightly, Allen Walker? When all others would fall into my assumptions, you do not. Is this why?
This is why you truly seem inhuman, Allen Walker? Because you are the only one who has not broken? Because you are the only one left capable of dreaming like you'll live forever and living as if you'll die tomorrow?
...Preposterous. If I couldn't see you- your soul- as I do, I would be certain that such an outcome as this was absolutely preposterous. But with you...
Whatever the reason, you're just like the sun, Allen Walker... you always look just like the sun.
Thank you everyone who took the time to read this fic- pointless though it may be. I might make this the beginning of a series of one-shots. We'll see. Please review!