The Infamy of Pan
They think me insane. Just because my way of thinking is anomalous doesn't mean I am weak of the mind. What I tell you is the truth. None of it is lies, I lived every bit of it, and did everything explained in this story. They believe Pan is their savior, but me, they think I should be locked up in an asylum. For I am truly Pan, but their image of Pan is incomplete. They say that I suffered a psychotic break. They. Who is They you might ask? The townspeople, They are the ones who think me mad. They believe that Pan and I are not one and the same. But they are wrong. Tick, tick, tick, tick. That sound, it comes again. The one that never leaves my ears, and never will.
Tonight, tonight, I will take another boy with me to Neverland. They will be free of this wretched Earth. This bloody humanity, this doomed life. Every boy I have taken, has begged me for his own to live. That shows just how much they are unaware of horrors that this world will bring them. That this world has brought me. I found a new boy this morning, he seems happy, naïve I am afraid, but happy. I will come tonight and take him with me back home to Neverland.
I entered the home, it was quiet and lived in. Ethan, the boy, was sleeping peacefully on his bed. Quiet and unmoving, like the freedom I had planned. I came over and woke him up. I shook him with great force.
"Ethan. . .Ethan, wake up." I said, as I shook him. Tick, tick, tick, tick. He looked up at me with terror. He didn't know who I was.
"I am Pan, do not be afraid." I calmed. He looked up again, less afraid, but still skeptical.
"Do not be afraid." I said again. Instilling some solace into him.
"Ok." He answered, finally.
"Come with me," I said, still trying to gain his trust,"I will take you where no one can hurt you."
"Fine." He spoke once again, albeit timidly and clipped.
The boy followed me down the stairs, out of the house, through the alleyways, and finally into the woods. I led him to the cave where the others were, sleeping, or so the boy thought. I left him inside the cold, damp, enclosure. I closed it off with a large rock, and listened as he screamed, either from the fright of being locked in, or from having realized that the boys in there were in fact not sleeping, but dead, I believe it was a combination of both. Tick, tick, tick, tick. The cave was dark, and you could not see much until your eyes adjusted to the light. There were many fissures running along one of the walls but I was sure that it could sustain one more boy. I would be back the next day to find the boy's body slumped against the entrance cold, and unmoving. Just as the others had been. It had taken me a fortnight to collect the boys, and allow them to make their journey, of dreams to Neverland.
The next day, I found him, lying just where I thought he would be. Then, I leaned down to move his body over to where the others were hidden. I felt a little remorse, having hurt these boys this way, but I knew they could begin their journey to a good place now. Neverland, the place without war, blood, fire, or death. Without aging, disease, or sickness. This was where these boys could be. Yes, where they needed to be. But then, all of a sudden, I heard a horrid screech, unsure of its origin, I looked around. When I found it I was devastated. The boy had survived, he had gotten up, and attempted to escape, but I impeded his escape route. Tick, tick, tick, tick. I did not want to cause the boy unnecessary pain, but Ethan would have to learn. I grabbed the boy and shoved him to the ground. Ugghhhhh. Ethan groaned in pain. The boy was lurid, probably from being stuck in the terribly cold cave all night. I picked up the pole that had been sitting nearby and hit Ethan over the head with it knocking him out.
I thought that I had been very munificent to the boy, thought that he would understand what I was doing for him. I was saving him, saving him. Everything that I had done for him, giving him everything that he needed, everything he could think of. There was nothing more that the boy could possibly want, I was sending him to Neverland. The perfect place for a boy. He would be saved from this world, this world of death, of sadness, of disease. I had a melancholy thought. What if the boy couldn't make it before the deadline? What if he didn't die before midnight? Each boy had to die the day after he had been taken! It was 11:50. I had to end the boy's life quickly. I reached around and snapped his neck. I heard the sickening snappp. The boy had slumped forward, his eyes lifeless and corpselike. I had to again, drag the boy's body into the corner with the others. They looked like they were sleeping, peaceful, pleasant, I thought.
I remembered how I had been before. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Then I was so clueless as to the good I could have done, I had a flashback.
I was in the fire again, burning. My sons screaming, across the hall. I felt terrible sickness, at the thought of them burning as I was. It hurt my heart. I clawed my way to the door. Looking in. There was fire on each of the three beds. All of them contained one of my sons. My poor sons. My poor, poor sons. I knew they were beyond saving. I had no way of saving them. They were dead. I slowly crawled to the opening that used to be our doorway. I made it out. Barely. I could see the neighbors coming out to see what was happening. "Call the ambulance!" I screamed. Hoping they would save my children. But they just looked at me and watched. As I slowly began to loose consciousness, I could here this faint ticking sound coming from inside the house. It must have been my clock, and it was the last thing that my mind remembered before leaving this world temporarily.
I awoke after the fire, only to find myself still badly burned and the tick, tick, tick, ticking of the clock had imposed itself on my mind. The sound cracked my conscience and I was never the same.
I was back in my own mind. Now, I had to move the bodies. In order for them to be taken to Neverland and complete the journey, they had to be taken to a public place and shown. I began rolling them into a small wagon I could easily pull. I had to hurry, the time was running out. And so began my unraveling. I successfully made it to the square, the most public place in the area, and propped up their bodies. I was stealthy, or so I thought. Then, I heard it again. The relentless ticking sound. And there above me was a man. And he wrapped cuffs around my hands and told some men to take me to the asylum. I told them I wasn't mad. I wasn't insane. I was Pan, the one they willingly gave the boys to. The one they believed would take them to Neverland - the place of happiness. And so I write to you from this terrible place, the asylum. As I am about to end it all. The relentless ticking, ticking, ticking, in my mind. I stand here upon the balcony, ready to jump. And then I see it, the clock. The ticking, the tick tock, that brought me here in the first place had stopped. I was ready to embrace my ranks in Neverland. I'll see you soon, my boys. I thought. And jumped.