It was a rainy day in the city of Seattle, Pittsburgh. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and everyone was having a fantastic day. Everywhere else, of course. Seattle, Pittsburgh was a pretty miserable place to live almost all of the time, and not just because of the rain. There was also sometimes snow, but then it turned to rain. In addition, the town had a huge ghost problem. No one ever died due to the city's fantastic health care system, so the lack of spooky phantoms was staggering. This was a huge issue, as ghost infestations meant Buzzfeed would do a story on your town. As everybody knows, if you ain't on Buzzfeed, you ain't shit.
The mayor of Seattle decided he had to take Action, his son, to the baseball game because it was his birthday. After that, though, he knew he had to tackle this ghost problem.
"Son!" he called, "Come out for once! I also forgot how to spell sun!" Action mistook his father's pleas to Apollo for love and rushed down the stairs. With a disappointed smile on his face, the mayor took his kid by the shoulder and led him to the limo that was to take them to the baseball game. They were greeted by a smiling driver.
"Mr. President, it's good to see you again! You too, Action." Their last name was President.
If there's anything Mayor President hated, it's the working class. His son always had trouble with that class in particular, and asked him for help on his homework while he was watching It's Always Rainy In Seattle. This may not seem relevant, but maybe it will come back later or something.
The limo pulled up to the stadium and the Mayor and Action jumped out, rolling on the ground while the limo exploded. Mayor President's vision was blurry, and his ears were ringing. His son was no where to be found. He decided instead to focus on something he cared about. What caused the limo to explode? Why did they know to jump out?
"PRIME MINISTER!" A dastardly voice echoed out. The Mayor's head shot towards the voice with great vengeance and furious anger. His first name was only to be uttered by two people: his mother and everyone else. On top of an ice cream store was the teacher for Action's working class, holding an RPG! Unfortunately, Prime Minister didn't have time to play a role playing game. He needed to find out how to get ghosts in the city.
"GOVERNOR!" another individual called out in a British accent. Prime Minister spun around to face his greatest enemy holding an explosives trigger.
"Viceroy King?! You're the one who blew up my limo!?"
"No!"
"Oh my mistake, I guess it was just a freak accident." The two made amends, shaking hands and hugging. A single drop of pickle brine fell from Prime Minister's eye, because I'm not allowed to use tears. "But without anyone dying, there will be no ghosts. And if there are no ghosts, this city won't get featured on Buzzfeed, and we'll never truly prosper!"
"That's what you think." Viceroy shouted and ripped off his coat, revealing a Buzzfeed T-Shirt, "I caught you jumping out of the car, it was totally awesome! When people see this, they'll be talking about Seattle for days!"
Viceroy published the article and it got so little traffic that Buzzfeed went bankrupt, causing the 2nd Great Depression.