"You can be as mad as a mad dog at the way things went. You could swear, curse the fates, but when it comes to the end, you have to let go..."
- Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, Benjamin Button
---
Hurt
~*~
Wally exited the car with a bouquet of flowers in his arms. Opening the gates, he entered the cemetery. The man's face was red from shedding tears. Autumn wind chapped at his skin. The bleak weather made him shiver, holding onto his scarf and jacket for warmth. As he found a certain gravestone, he placed the flowers onto the burial and began to read the headstone's encryption.
Robert Rudolph West
1952-2011
May he rest in peace.
---
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
---
"Hey."
The police scientist looked up from his clipboard, and there stood a person he thought he would never see again. This time, an older version of his father stood in place, gray hairs taking place of the bright coppers.
"Oh. It's you." His voice almost had a robotic tone: cold, indifferent, and superficial.
A flow of memories flashed before Wally, not that they were pleasant. His face still kept it's solid, unmoving expression. Perfect reaction for someone who practically damaged your entire childhood. Rudy looked at his surroundings, smiled and sighed.
"So, this is what you are..." he breathed. "A police scientist."
"What's it to you?" His eyes didn't hide the vexation that was burning inside of him, but he kept calm nonetheless.
The old man looked at his son.
Pride, joy, happiness. This is what should have happened years ago, when Wally was a child and in a fragile state.
"You've made it this far? ... Wallace, I'm proud of you."
"Hey, Wally!" Wally turned around and learned that it was one of his colleagues. "We have a briefing in five."
"I'll be there."
Walking away, he left Rudy behind at the corridor. Alone. Abandoned. Lonely.
---
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
---
"... and I pushed you away. I pushed you away like I didn't needed you and..."
Holding back tears, Wally hugged himself as he closed his eyes, feeling the cold on his back.
"Do you remember the time we played baseball...? It was before you lost your job. It was so much fun... You brought an old bat and a ball to Rocky and Nila... I didn't even let you get to know your own grandchildren!"
---
"Wally, good timing!" chimed Eleanor as Wally walked through the entrance of the house. "Grandpa came to visit us, isn't that right, kids?"
Eleanor sat on the comfy chair; Rudy sat on the couch; and the twins sat on the carpet, playing with an old bat and baseball. The sight of his father with the twins was like a lion preying on a herd of antelope. In Wally's mind, danger was written all over the living room.
"I brought the kids something I'd thought they like to play with," began Rudy, smiling. "I'm glad that I saved it up all this time."
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"Hm?"
"Get out. Get out of this house!"
"..."
"No need for fuss..."
Rudy stood up and began to walk to the door. Once he was out, Wally opened the screen door.
"If you come within an inch of my kids, or my wife, I'll call the cops on you!"
The doors slammed shut, echoing with haunting hints of rejection.
---
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this
---
"Ella told me that you wanted to make up," breathed Wally. "She talked to me after you left, but... I was stupid enough to not listen. I was so angry at you. But then when we got something in the mail about the will... they told us you died."
---
"When did my father die?"
He held the will papers in his hand. Rudy left behind some money and a few possessions for the family to keep.
"Two weeks ago, actually," said the law officer. "August tenth. He had kidney failure. It was from drinking alcohol. That's what the doctors say. His service was held last week."
Service.
Wally swallowed, placing a hand on his chest.
"Did anyone attend the funeral?"
"Oh, yes. Some friends, family members... Didn't they tell you?"
"I... I hardly keep in touch with them."
---
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
---
"I didn't even pay proper tribute..." breathed Wally, tears streaming down his face. He sat on the bed with Eleanor, his wife comforting him the best she could.
"I was so stupid to just brush him aside like that. He wanted to say he was sorry, he wanted to reconnect, but... I just hurt him even more. I know that he did bad things, but... I don't know why I miss him so much...!"
The couple held each other in an embrace, Eleanor cooing to sooth her husband.
"You are only human," began the woman. "It's only natural to feel this way. If you still felt angry at him... that probably wouldn't be the Wally I fell in love with."
After what seemed like an eternity, a small smile was across the man's face.
"Do you know why I fell in love with you?"
A cheeky grin was across Eleanor's face.
"No, why?"
"Well... one of them is, you stay by people's side, no matter how bad it gets."
If only he did that with Rudy, perhaps he would've been at his bedside before he died.
---
Sensing that someone was behind him, Wally turned and learned that it was his wife.
"Ella, how did you-"
Eleanor smiled and took her husband's hand. "This is so like you… come on, let's get hot chocolate."
While they were walking out of the cemetery, Waly asked, "how much did you hear me rant?"
"Everything."
"Really?"
"I knew the flowers weren't for me, so I had to follow you to make sure you were alright."
Wally squeezed Eleanor's hand. "I love you..."
"I love you, too, Wallace."
---
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
---
2019.
"I'd wish you stop treating me like a baby..." glared his daughter.
"Nila, we've talked about this, it's the kind of party which I think it's not safe," declared Wally, hoping with all of his might that she will not go to the event.
An upperclassman invited her and her friends. There might be drinking there, which Wally highly disapproved of.
"This is not safe, that's not safe...!" A sigh was let out. "Oh, would you just give it a rest!"
"Young lady, I don't like your attitude."
"What do you think I am, a scared little kid?"
Nila continued to rant on, but Wally froze, a voice vibrating in his mind.
"Why are you such a scared little kid?!"
A ghostly image of Rudy flashed before his mind's eye. Wally pulled Nila into a hug, sobs sounding from his person.
"Dad…? Are you okay? Um, whatever it is, I'm sorry... Dad?"
---
By hurting you
~*~