This came from a youtube video I watched days ago and thought it would be funny if Lavi experienced it.
Warning: Lavi being stupid, baby with a gun, death (not Lavi), and do not give guns to babies because they are evil.
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!
Lavi was in his small kitchen just finishing the dishes from his morning's breakfast. He humbly whistles as he was whipping his wet hands with a green rag. Just as he was about to step out of the kitchen however, he froze, still, letting the rag slip from his fingers and fall to the ground.
There, in a pink stroller, sat a baby.
With a gun…
A .45 acp…
Lavi just stood there eyes wide in front of the only exit out of the kitchen, where the baby was blocking it. For a moment, the redhead laughed a little as if the sight was humorous.
"Haha. That's a baby with a gun."
Seconds later, it slowly grew to nervousness with a bit of panic.
"A baby… with a gun!"
In his head he was thinking, 'Imma call the police!' and took out his cellphone.
Now you may think of him as insane for him to call the cops just to deal with a baby, but Lavi knew from experience as a Bookman that you should not judge things by appearances only. He never even met this baby before and could even locate his house! He didn't even want to know how it could even travel without someone pushing its stroller!
Sadly, the officers hung up not believing his crazy story.
Now he was trapped with nowhere to escape from a baby with a gun.
5 minutes later…
Lavi fidgeted in more growing panic as he paced back and forth in his very small, very narrow kitchen. He never prepared for this.
There really was no escape…
Out of frustration, he punched the wall a few times and knocked over some items on the counter. The baby just sat there watching with the gun on its lap, giggling as if it was a normal baby.
But the redhead knew it wasn't.
Lavi rubbed his temples trying to figure a way out.
8 minutes later…
"Who sent you?" Lavi asked desperately trying to reason with the baby. "Was it Kanda? I will buy him a new sword!"
10 minutes later…
Lavi was on his cellphone again; this time calling his insurance agent.
"Does my life insurance cover babies with guns…. oh really? "
5 more minutes later…
Lavi was on a kitchen counter, a small one that wouldn't be able to prop him up completely even if he had the wall to support him, in an uncomfortable (but funny looking) position. The baby still watches him.
Lavi wonders if watching its prey and not doing anything yet was its method of torture.
"Get out!"
11 minutes later…
"How about we trade okay?" Lavi said grinning like an idiot. In his hand was a stuffed red bunny that, he thanked to the heavens, was in one of the cabinets. He cautiously stepped closer to the baby. "I'll give you this," he gave it the bunny, "and you give me that." He got the gun!
Victory!
"See? Now isn't that bet-"
He only looked away for a second, just to turn back to see that his bunny plushy was no longer on the baby.
But was replaced with another gun…
Lavi groaned.
"I'm really stupid."
A minute later…
Lavi clicked the gun he took and pointed it at the baby.
"Oh, not nice is it? No. I'm a man with a gun! What are you? You're a baby with a gun! What you got to say to that huh? You are nothing!"
2 seconds later…
The redhead immediately pulled back, guilty.
"I-I'm sorry. That was mean. You don't deserve that. You're young. Look… just take mine."
Gives the baby his gun.
3 seconds later…
Lavi gripped his red locks with both hands, realizing his big mistake.
"Oh my god now the baby has two guns…"
The baby in the stroller gave out bubbly giggles as it now possessed two guns with no effort. Lavi's panic continued to rise until it reached its peak.
"I can't believe this. Where's the baby? There's the baby! WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE?!"
5 minutes later…
He was back on the counter. The baby still didn't leave.
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
20 minutes later…
….
"I'm hiding in the fridge now," said Lavi's muffled voice as he was indeed hidden in the refrigerator.
How he got in there still remains a mystery.
But it didn't take long for him to come out since he was suffering from the cold.
15 minutes later…
It was beginning to look so bad Lavi was even talking to himself.
"You know, I kinda wanted it to shoot me, so when God's like 'Hey Lavi. How'd you die?' I'll be like 'Oh I don't know God. Maybe I was shot by a BABY WITH A GUN!'"
While he was ranting, the baby continued to smile giggle. The action seemed to have put Lavi to a point where he suddenly became emotional and develop tears.
"This is sick… a real sick baby with a gun…"
4 minutes later…
Lavi decided to taunt the baby, moving from side to side with his arm flailing around like an idiot.
"Ha! Bet you can't make a perfect target! Bet you can't hit me!"
30 minutes later…
Lavi thanked to the heavens again for having a first aid kit kept in one of the cabinets in the kitchen he was trapped in. After taking some time to remove the bullet in his left shoulder, clean the bullet wound, and patch it up with bandages, he was finally up in his feet.
He stared down at the 'innocent' looking baby with an annoyed/pissed look in his face.
"You need to leave."
3 minutes later…
Lavi didn't know how he did it, but he was more than grateful to finally get the baby out of his house. He slammed the door shut and didn't waste a second to make sure that all the locks were secure. The redhead gave a huge sigh of relief as he rested his back against the door and slid down until his bottom touched the floor.
The peace was short lived however when he heard noises outside his door.
"Awww how cute. It's a baby and- OH NO ITS GOT A GUN! AHHHHHH!"
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
Lavi flinched when he heard the gun shots and paled as white as Allen's hair when he heard the victim's body drop to the ground. From then he shivered, thinking that that could've been him if the baby stayed long enough in his house.
"I need to move."
And he wasted no time doing so while frantically pounding Allen's number in his cell.
The End.
Lavi: This is your first fanfic starring me and you make me suffer through this?!
SongGo: Hey! At least you're not dead. Like that man over there… *points to dead body*
Lavi: *shudders* Anyway, if you like this story, please review and check out the youtube video Baby With a Gun by TomSka.
SongGo: Also, check out other videos made by him because they are hilariously awesome!
Baby: *giggles while holding a gun*
Lavi and SongGo: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! *runs like hell*