"You always did like playing with dynamite. Just be careful it doesn't blow up in your face.'

"She's different."

"Is she?" Sophia asked. "Or do you just think she is?"

In the silence that followed, Rick watched her. She was flirting with him. More than. She'd always had that smug, self-satisfied smile, and the contrasting sad, dewy eyes. She'd

drawn him in the first day they'd met. It appeared that she hadn't completely lost that power. But she wasn't Kate.

He met Sophia Turner years ago. He had been a lot younger and, he'd like to think, less mature than he was now. He had been a single dad to a small child, and he relished nearly every minute of parenthood. But when Alexis went to sleep, Rick's mother would often stay the night while he went out to enjoy the company of contemporaries. His writing career was taking off. He had found an agent and a publisher who were determined to make him at least as popular as his books, and they were succeeding. So he found himself in the spotlight, and never wanting for company. He had no trouble finding a date (though the number of dates he went on was greatly exaggerated by the press). This new life? He drank it in like water after a drought.

And now and then, he'd stop and think, "Is this me?"

But he always knew the answer.

Say what you will about the famous Rick Castle, but Richard Alexander Rodgers had been an introverted kid who was moved around too often to form any lasting friendships. He found his "friends" in books, and TV, and movies. He could lose himself in the other worlds they offered. Then, Rick started writing books of his own, creating his own worlds into which others could lose themselves. And one day, or so it seemed, he found Paula and Gina and, well, Alakazam! Rick Castle was born.

Of course, Richard Rodgers was always there. He just preferred to observe. He continued to read. He continued to write. Fiction. Mystery. Adventure. He could be an explorer, a detective. A spy. And because they were his books, he could always get the girl.

Then along came Sophia Turner. She liked Rick Castle, and she fascinated Rick Rodgers. She was a real CIA agent. A certified spy.

Awesome!

And, she was hot.

Rick and Sophia spent one exciting year together. But Sophia was mostly interested in the playboy, and grew frustrated with the nerdy guy within. When their relationship ended, he was not particularly surprised. Experience had taught him that he would probably never keep the girl. Meredith had driven in the lesson well, that no woman would stick with Rick Castle long term, because Rick Rodgers refused to fade away. He could be hidden. But he was always skimming the surface. The Castle persona could not hold out forever, because the man underneath was the real Rick. The real Rick was too child-like, too curious about the world, too eager to dig for answers to suit the elegant women who were interested in Rick Castle. So Rick found comfort and company through his fame and fortune, and when reality bit him in the ass, he would go home to his computer and write his own ending. Rick's heroes always got the girl.

Rick startled when he heard his phone buzz, signaling an incoming call. He decided to ignore it, for now.

"Kate is different," he said again, interrupting Sophia's thoughts as she languidly perused the books and photographs he had collected since she had last been under his roof. She turned to look at him, with that same little smile.

Not for the first time that day, he wished that the CIA had just left him alone.

"Sophia," he said. "I don't want to be rude, but is there a reason for this complete invasion of my privacy other than to warn me off your case?"

The smile became sultry, and she put her hand on his arm. "Well, I guess I wouldn't mind a glass of wine."

Rick remembered that look, too. He found it interesting that lacked the impact that it used to.

"I don't think so, Sophia. You really should be going. It's been a long day. For everyone."

Sophia glanced pointedly at his phone.

"Are you expecting Detective Beckett? "

"No. But it's been a difficult day, and I'm ready to call it."

But she was not ready to be dismissed. "Playing detective and spy," she said. "You must amuse her terribly."

"I'm not.." he started.

"I know, I know," Sophia interrupted. "You think you're protecting her. You're figuring it all out on your high tech board. You're her hero, and she doesn't know it. Yet. And when she does, you think she'll be yours forever."

"Sophia," he warned.

"Oh, Rick. What happens," she said, approaching him slowly, "When she finds out what you've been doing? Do you really think she'll love you for it? Better cut your losses now, don't you think? Before you get hurt. Detectives, what is it, Esposito? Ryan? They'll watch out for her. Time for you to stop playing cop. Let Nikki ride off with Jameson into the sunset, and Rick Castle move on to other storylines."

This woman was seriously stepping over the line. "I'm not..," he started again.

"Ricky," she said. Then, more softly, "Richard. You are playing cop. You're enjoying the game. And you've fallen in love. It's really very sweet."

Balling his hands into fists in his pocket, he fought to stay outwardly calm. "Sophia, it is time for you to leave."

"Just a drink, Rick. For old times. We were good together. Would you deny that?"

"No. We were. But that was a long time ago. And I'm not that man."

"You could be. You were happier then. Easier going. Look at you. You're not happy now."

"You don't know me now."

She came right up close. "Let me help you find your way back to the Rick Castle I knew. You and I, we weren't forever. We weren't meant to be. But we had some … great times, didn't we? And we can have them again. Tell me, honestly, Rick, has she ever made you happy like that?"

"Sophia, you're completely out of line. You don't have any idea what you're talking about. I'm going to ask you one more time to leave."

She chuckled. "Or you'll call a certain member of the police department? No, no, I'll go. But, Rick, leave the case to the CIA. Neither you nor your detective is equipped to deal with something of this magnitude."

"We are aware that this is a CIA matter."

"And that you're not CIA?"

"Goodbye, Sophia," Rick says, walking towards his front door.

"Oh, don't look so cross," she said, patting his cheek when they got to the door in a way that was oddly reminiscent of his mother.

Rick reaches around her to open the door.

Sophia turns around to face him. "You know, you really are a brilliant author. You don't need to follow anyone around for research. Leave behind the dead ends. Go back to writing more than one book a year. Travel. Date. Enjoy life. You know that you'll only get hurt if you continue on your current path."

She paused, then looked up at him. Getting no reaction, she gave a very slight shrug of her shoulders. "I left my card on your desk. I hope you'll call," she said. "And not just about the case."

With that, she turned and went out the door.

Locking up behind her, Rick returned to his office and sat on the couch. Sophia was right, he knew. Not about everything, but a lot of it.

Still, she was wrong about one thing. Yes, he may have been happier, or at least carefree, back when he'd followed Sophia. And, yes, as much as it hurt to say it, it was true that Kate might never return his feelings. But Kate was different. Rick was himself with Kate. More than he had been as a lonely child, and more than he had been as "playboy" Rick Castle. Kate had changed him…no, released him from the bindings of the false reality that had become his life outside his home. He loved Kate for uncovering him, and for liking, maybe loving, who she found, as much as he loved Kate for who she was. And wasn't Kate trying to find her way back to her real self, too?

Rick Rodgers, Rick Castle, the name was as unimportant as the persona he'd worn for so long. He loved Kate. She made his halves whole. He would stick with her.

Wherever it would lead him.