Before I start, this is based off of a roleplay, so if anything is different or out of character, it's cause it's a roleplay. I wanna thank Collie Senpai for being Sans,Alphys,and herself, Cyan-ce for being himself and the Mad Dummy,Ranchisranch for being himself and his OC Inferno, and TrueKnighthunter79 for being himself and his OC Arak! Everyone who is themselves will be a human.

Undertale belongs to Toby Fox.

This is a joke story so don't expect serious plots.

I will do the next chapter if this fic gets five favorites!

Grillby was sitting at the bar in his currently empty restaurant, waiting for a customer.

Out of nowhere,Undyne slammed the door open and stormed into the bar, sitting on a stool.

"Undyne. Well that's unexpect-"

"Just gimme the strongest drink you have" Undyne muttered.

Grillby placed a bottle of human beer and a cup on the counter,coming up with a new special hour for the restaurant.

Undyne grabbed the bottle, took off the cap, and took a hearty swig. She soon stated,"I dunt luv Papirus.. Sans come join meh. Forget all the bad ships like you and Mettaton."

Sans, who was already in there, sat down,"i'm gonna need a drink to forget sansby too... oh,no offense grillbz."

Alphys, who had come with Sans, spoke up,"I do n-not wanna think a-about S-S-Sans and Mettaton! Ick!"

"and if that robot touches my brother I will touch him with my Gaster Blaster."

Grillby placed a bottle of ketchup in front of Sans,"It's Bad Ship Hour. Everything is free as long as there's a bad ship about you. On the house, everyone."

"Woo!" Undyne blurted out,"And uh.. I do like Papyrus. Not gonna lie, but I don't luv him. I like him like a little brother."

Grillby nodded, understanding what Undyne meant.

Suddenly, the Mad Dummy slammed the door open, despite not having hands.

Cyan, who came with the Mad Dummy,walked in,"Mad Dummy X Frisk.. What the fuck.."

"You're welcome in too,Mad Dummy." Grillby greeted the newcomers, keeping his calm tone,"On the house."

Mar, who had come with Undyne, said,"People ship me with a friend which I wanna kill.. Does that count as a bad ship or not?"

Mad Dummy sat on a stool and barked out his order,"I WANT YOUR WEAKEST STUFF! SO THEN I CAN SLOWLY PULVERIZE IT! THEN I CAN SHOW THOSE DIRTY SIN SHIPPERS WHO'S THE REAL FUCKING CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP!"

Undyne seemed to support the Mad Dummy as she held up her bottle,"Fuck yeah! Cheers!"

Cyan sat down next to the Mad Dummy,"Being shipped in real life is the worst.. Jesus.. Can't they get it that I'm a fucking loner! I'm not even sure of my sexual preference! I could be asexual for all I know! There's nothing wrong with it either! Gah!"

Grillby poured a clear liquid into a small glass and placed it in front of the Mad Dummy,"Enjoy." He then turned back towards Cyan and Mar,"Being shipped in real life? Welcome aboard then."

Mar sighed,"Seriously, I wanna tear that guy's insides out."

Cyan continued,"You know.. I don't even like half the people they ship me with.."

The Mad Dummy magically picked up his glass and downed it, shaking his head as a reaction to the taste.

After staring at the ketchup bottle for a long time, Sans handed it back to Grillby,"nah,nah grillbz. give me real alcohol. just ketchup isn't gonna do it today."

Grillby took the ketchup bottle and placed it back, soon putting a bottle of human beer in front of Sans,"It's the strongest we have."

Collie, who came with Sans and Alphys, cleared her throat,"Ughh, being shipped in real life? I know exactly what THAT'S like. Gather around everyone, I have a life story about dicks disguising themselves as friends."

Mar listened to Collie's story.

Collie took a deep breath then started," So this happened through last year. My brother had a group of pals he knew in real life, and he decided to introduce them to me. We got along well, despite the leader of the group, let's call him Mettaton, being kind of a jerk. I put up with it though. My best friend in the group was.. Hm. Let's just call him.. I dunno,Asriel. So it was me,Asriel,Mettaton, and three other people, one of which sounded like Sans..Seriously. Not joking, it was great. I was shipped with Asriel, to which I immediately went full tsundere on and shut it out immediately. They however kept doing it though, Asriel didn't like it either. So time went on, everything was fun, until one day when I was in League of Legends, and I noticed that Sans, Asriel, and Mettaton were on, not to mention they were on Skype. I messaged Mettaton to invite me into the party, but they went on without me. Asriel messaged me about a minute later, saying that Mettaton had called me a shitlord and a loser. For some reason, Mettaton had some beef with me and my big brother. So, from then, I immediately left the group, even Asriel, so I could forget the group. Yeah. So that was fun." She chuckled lightly.

Mar nodded in sympathy.

Sans had examined the bottle,"perfect. should keep me out of commission for a while."

"A-Are you really .. Sure you wanna do that?" Alphys warned.

"Of course I do!" Sans popped the lid off and started drinking it, despite the fact that he nearly choked at the start.

"Sans! Drinking contest! You and me!" Undyne challenged.

"LET'S DO THIS!" Sans exclaimed.

Undyne and Sans snagged some bottles and practically ripped the cap off.

"You're on!" Undyne started chugging her drink.

"i'll always win! THIS STUFF GOES RIGHT THROUGH ME ANYWAYS!" Sans challenged before starting to drink the beer.

Grillby turned towards Alphys,"So..Alphys. I have non-alcoholic drinks. If you want one just ask."

Alphys declined the offer,"Er, n-no thanks. I need to be sober to get Sans home just in case."

Arak, a skeleton, and Knight walked into Grillby's.

Arak then simply stated,"I don't have a ship and I'm glad that I don't, but Nightmare does with like two women."

"He has one with Zeta and Nawsmon, though he may have one with 'The Sludge'." Knight continued.

"She's lesbian though." Arak concluded,"Can I get a drink?"

Grillby responded,"You gotta pay if your not in a horrible ship."

"Come on Grillby,I know I don't have a ship, but can I please get a drink?"

"Five G" Grillby said simply.

Alphys decided to state," W-While floating around the I-Internet, I've seen a.. Erm. Me and Gaster and me and Mettaton. I am not fine with this."

Arak shrugged,"As long as it's not another princess AU- I mean here's five G!" He placed the money on the counter.

"Princess AU?" Grillby smirked then accepted the money, "Here's your drink." He placed a drink in front of Arak.

Arak nervously looked around,"Psh. Jokes on these people, I don't have weirdos creating fanfics of me." He chuckled nervously.

"But a Princess AU? Where did you come from?"

Arak smiled,"I'll tell you later, but for now, five Fireball Whiskeys!"

Meanwhile, Sans and Undyne were coughing, and then they went back to drinking.

"Hey..Grillby? A-Are you alright with Muffet paired with you?" Alphys asked.

"Muffet?" Grillby responded,"I barely even know her. Plus her spiders are always getting in here."

"So.. Are you fine with it or..?" Alphys asked.

"I find it odd, but me and Gaster is MUCH worse, no offense Sans."

Suddenly, a slam was heard from the counter. It had been Undyne, who finished her bottle,"DONE!"

Sans facedesked onto the bar, his drink nearly finished,"you beat me.. oh god i'm gonna have the worst hangover tomorrow."

"Sans, if you or Undyne passes out, I will NOT be able to take you home." Alphys warned Sans.

"pff.. it's fine." Sans sat up, finishing his drink.

Undyne grabbed another bottle and took a hearty swig out of it,"Nah, Ah'll be fine,Al!"

Grillby placed the five Fireball Whiskeys in front of Arak,"Twenty five G."

Arak placed thirty G on the counter,"So, anyway, I'm from this uni-" Suddenly, a dimensional portal appeared and sucked him into it,"Not again!"

"The fuck just happened?" Undyne asked herself.

Arak suddenly came back, wearing a university outfit,"That was not fun."

"Where the hell you've been?" Mar asked.

Arak glanced at her"From hell and back."

The Mad Dummy had been writing his will to his Ruins cousin,"Gah! Filthy weak humans! Putting us in unwanted relationships! WHO THE HELL DO THEY THINK THEY ARE?!"

Arak sat down, muttering,"I wanna go back to hell."

"HUZZAH!" Undyne suddenly exclaimed, soon screaming a mix of Dogsong and Spear of Justice.

The Mad Dummy screamed a mix of all the fights that have Ghost Fight! in it.

Undyne was now screaming the whole OST.

Arak finnaly noticed his drinks,"Oh, thanks Grillby." He drank all of them and started twitching,"Sev-Seven more please!"

"What fun." Mar said sarcastically,"You okay Arak? Grillby, did you put weed in this stuff?"

Grillby shook his head then looked at Undyne and Sans,"How come neither of you have passed ou-"

Undyne cut off Grillby by facedesking the counter.

"Nevermind."

Sans muttered,"...i need.. more.."

Undyne, suddenly waking up, grabbed another bottle and poured it onto Sans,"Makin' it rain!"

Sans just screeched in response.

"O-OH MY GOD!" Alphys yelped in shock.

Mar was recording this. Once she finished recording, she started laughing and pounding on the counter.

Undyne lightly tapped Sans' head with the now empty bottle,"Wow."

Sans was pretty much drowning in the drink Undyne had poured onto him.

"Hoooooooly.." Alphys muttered to herself.

"Sans are you alright?" Grillby asked.

"Wait! I know the easiest way to fight Sans!" Undyne made Sans' SOUL green.

Sans immediately started sweating,"w-wait! let me go! undyne!"

"UNDYNE! What are you doing!?" Alphys asked frantically.

Undyne then stuck her hand into Sans' eye, a derpy expression on her face,"You can't stop me."

Grillby and Mar stayed silent as they watched.

"hoooooooooly fuck, I CAN SEE EVERYTHING I DON'T WANNA SEE!" Sans screeched, his eye glowing green.

Alphys was getting frantic,"Undyne! P-Please!"

Mar was laughing hysterically,"Oh my fucking god!"

Undyne got her hand out,"Okay okay." She turned Sans' SOUL back to normal,"Lazybonez. Gits nervous with a wittle bit of magic.

Ranch and Inferno walked into the restaurant and sat down.

"I dun drink." Inferno said, soon getting whipped by a dozen bottles of beer.

After a bit, Sans screamed,"WAI WUD YOU! DO THAT?!"

"Okay,I think you two have both had enough to drink!" Alphys said.

Undyne sluggishly shrugged,"Ey. I've been curious."

Grillby finnaly noticed Inferno,"Hey Inferno. Welcome to Bad Ship Hour. Everything is free if you're stuck in a bad ship like Sans X Mettaton."

"Bad ships?!" Inferno then kicked Ranch.

"OI! NOT MY FAULT THAT I'M THE SHIPMASTER!" Ranch glared at Inferno.

"AND I THOUGHT I WAS DRUNK ENOUGH TO FORGET THAT!" Sans commented.

Undyne stood up,"C'mon everyhune! To fresh air!" She stumbled into a table then made his way out the door.

Grillby was concerned..

Sans attempted to walk off of the bench but ended up faceplanting onto the floor"waidup!" He then stood up and followed Undyne.

"I..I should follow them.." Alphys stated.

Grillby nodded, grabbing two bottles of a shelf,"I'm bringing some bait."

"Good idea Grillby!"

Grillby soon ushered everyone out of the restaurant, then started following Sans and Undyne, Mar and Alphys joining him.

"where are we goin'?" Sans asked Undyne.

Undyne grinned,"Dat Core place!"