Disclaimer

Pan: I've stolen the characters from their natural habitat and now force them to say the disclaimer FOR me! Gon gets to go first!

Gon: Pan-chan does NOT own HxH or it's characters. She owns us as much as she can without having licensed rights over us!

Killua: P

Pan: Hehe.. :D –ruffles Killua's hair-

This first chapter is dedicated to my good friend Ari, for without her I never would have started this fic.

And to those of you that are waiting for me to update my Assassin's Assassin story.. It's a long chapter, or at least planned to be. I've been busy with school and band and football season and I've had writer's block for that story for, like, EVER. Dx!

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"Ow, stop stepping on my foot!"

"Sorry.."

The lights suddenly flipped on, and four young men found themselves in the middle of a stage, and an empty stage at that.

The blonde one was the first to stand up and look around. "Where are we?"

"Gon, get off of me!" The silver-haired boy yelled at the boy on top of him.

"I would, Killua, but Leorio is sitting on my back!"

"Oi, Ojisan, get off!"

"Keep your pants on, Killua. Kurapika, a little help?"

Kurapika rushed to the aid of his friends, but he was stopped by the sudden appearance of a young woman in front of them. She grinned happily as Kurapika stopped in his tracks. Her silver haired flowed freely, nearly touching the ground. Her ivory skin gleamed in the artificial lighting of the stage. Her clothing was entirely black.

"Hello there!" She pipped.

Kurapika backed up. "Eh.. did you bring us here!?" The girl nodded.

"Yes, I did! I want you for my show! I mean, you guys are awesome!"

Killua smirked as Gon finally removed himself from the Zaoldyeck's back. "Obviously."

"Alright, let's get to it!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Hello, and welcome to WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY! Tonight's cast are OSUWARI, Killua Zaoldyeck!"

The studio erupted into cheers. Killua smirked and waved at the audience.

".. LOVE-LOVE-ZURA, Kurapika!"

More cheers. Kurapika waved.

" DATTEBAYO, Gon Freecss!"
Instead of cheers, the entire studio went "Awww" as Gon waved at the crowd with both hands.

"And finally, IT'S OVER 9000!! Leorio!"
The studio got quiet. Leorio glared.

"I'm your host Pan Pokurana! How this show goes is I tell these people what to do and they make up stuff off the top of their heads based on that. I award points after each game and choose a winner that gets to sit at my desk while the losers have some fun with me." Pan winked and laughed. The cast cringed. "But it's just me playing favorites because the points don't matter! That's right, the points don't matter, just like side-plots."

Pan grinned as the audience clapped. "Anyway, the first game we're going to do is two-line vocabulary! Step up Killua, Gon and Leorio!"

The three boys walked over to the stage. "Killua, you can say whatever you want. Gon, Leorio, you are limited to two lines only. Gon, you will be saying GIMME, GIMME, GIMME and Ew, what's that!? Leorio, you are limited to Ohh, can I touch it? And That's bad, isn't it?"

Pan stared at the clock. "Go."

Killua was busy pacing the floor. "Those morons, they shoulda been back with the plans.."

Leorio perked up. "That's bad, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is bad. I think I'll have a chocolate bar." Killua said, opening an imaginary snickers.

"GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!" Gon yelled, reaching for the 'chocolate.' Killua jerked his hands away.

"No, Gon, this is mine!" Killua snapped.

"Oooh, can I touch it?" Leorio said, hopping like a school girl.

Killua glared at Leorio. "No, you may not."

Gon flinched. "Ew, what's that!"

"This is chocolate!" Killua yelled, shaking the bar. "See!?"

"That's bad, isn't it?" Leorio said.

"NO. SHUT UP."

"Ew, what's that?" Gon said, pointing at Killua.

"That's my face. And I'll have you know it's not disgusting."

"Ooh, can I touch it?" Leorio grinned.

Pan buzzed the button and the three of them went back to their seats. "Awesome first run, guys. Leorio gets 1000 for that last line. Everyone else gets 500 points, even Kurapika."

"But he didn't do anything!" Killua objected.

Pan stuck out her tongue. "Dare ye defy me?" Killua slinked back to his seat.

"This next game is called Let's Make A Date. Killua, you are a bachelor on a dating type show and we give the other three strange quirks or personalities that you have to guess bye asking romantic questions." Pan tossed Kurapika, Leorio and Gon their personalities and then proceeded to open up a small cup of raspberry yogurt.

Killua clambered onto his stool. "I'm, like, SO excited!" He said, flipping his hair. "O-kay! Bachelor number one! I LOVE food, if I could be a food I'd probably be chocolate. What kind of food would YOU be?"

Leorio was Ponzu. "Hmm, probably honey." He said in a high voice. "It's sweet and really easy to make, seeing as I have an entire hat full of friends to make it for me!"

"Mm, honey. Bachelor number 2!" Killua said He heard a faint "Yes" from Gon. "If we were to go out on a date, where would you take me?"

Gon was a deranged, claustrophobic, psycho killer. (That will be amazing to see HIM pull off.) "Well.. I'd take you out to someplace… desolate and open. And then I'd.. TAKE OUT A KNIFE AND REMOVE YOUR INTESTINES!"

Killua was taken aback. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I mean, we'd have a picnic!" Gon said quickly.

Killua stood silent for a moment. "Okay! Bachelor number three!"

Kurapika was trying to claw his way to fame by stealing the Whose Line desk. "Yes?" Kurapika said, standing up.

"I enjoy late-night serenades. If you were to sing to me, what song would you sing?" Killua said, keeping his annoying high-pitched voice.

By the time Killua had finished his question, Kurapika had lifted Pan out of the chair and sat down. "I'd probably sing this." Kurapika pushed down on the buzzer, causing it to sound wildly.

"How dreamy." Killua said. Pan made and attempt at pushing Kurapika out of the chair.

"Move over, this is MY show now!" Kurapika snapped. The audience gasped.

"Alright." Pan laughed. "Can you guess who they are?"

"I have no clue who Leorio is supposed to be, so I'll straight to Gon." Gon looked at Killua expectantly. "He's a stalker that's out to get me."

"Close. There was a clue in his response. Some kind of phobia.."

"…… fear of.. umm.. Enclosed.. spaces?" Killua said slowly.

"Yeah, close enough." Pan buzzed. Gon scampered off to his chair.

"Kurapika seems to have usurped the Whose Line desk."

"And you are absolutely right." Kurapika helped Pan off the floor and the girl climbed back into her chair, Kurapika running off to reseat himself.

"And who is Leorio?" Pan asked, grinning.

"I still have no clue." Killua shrugged.

"He's Ponzu from the Hunter Exam. I guess you never met her." Pan explained. Gon jumped up and down at his seat.

"Oh, I remember her!!" Gon yelled ecstatically.

"Alright, 1000 points to Killua, Gon and Kurapika. 500 to Leorio because your impression of Ponzu SUCKED. And it's time to go onto one of my favorite games, Scenes from a Hat!" She motioned for the four boys to come down to the stage.

"How this works is I have the audience write down suggestions for scenes they want to see acted out. I take the good ones, put them in the hat and draw them at random, and our actors, well, act them! The first slip is.." Pan pulled a slip. "The kinds of stuffed toys Killua sleeps with at night!"

Killua froze and then glared at Pan. Leorio stepped up to the stage. The pretended to hold something large, then pulled an imaginary string to make a sound like a chainsaw. The audience clapped. Then Gon walked up.

"Mooom, where's my stuffed bunny!?" He yelled. Killua turned his glare to Gon.

Pan buzzed and pulled another slip.

"What the person opposite of you does in their free time.."

Kurapika stepped up. "Welcome to the new TV Sitcom, How to be an Assassin." Kurapika grinned.

Killua stepped up to the stage, opposite Leorio. Killua then proceeded to bash his head in with an imaginary wooden board. Leorio crossed his arms over his chest and stepped up.

"God, I love my hair.. so nice and shiny." Leorio pretended to style hair.

"By the way, I think that'd be something Illumi was more likely to do." Killua huffed. Pan buzzed out the actors.

"Alright, If you were king of the world.. Oh dear.."

Killua stepped up. "Bow down, all of you! Worship my haircut!" Killua pointed at the ground and grinned.

Kurapika stood up. "It's time for my Intellectuals of the World meeting. Better not be late.."

Pan buzzed them out. "Alright, time to move on. 10 points to everyone, and tonight's winner is Kurapika!"

Kurapika went back over to the desk and sat down. "Read the card, Kurapika." Pan said.

"Looks like we get to do a hoedown! How this works is that the four of you make up a song four lines at a time based on a specific topic. Let's get a topic from our audience!"

"Fanficion!"

"Pasta!"

"Fangirls!"

"Fangirls! When the music starts, feel free to start!" As the music started, the cast danced around a bit before Killua stepped up.

"I was walking down the street one day to the Dairy Queen.

I heard squealing behind me, it made such a scene.

As I turned around someone yelled for me to duck;

The fangirls came at me as I yelled "Oh, WHAT THE BLEEP "

Gon grinned and followed up, beginning his part.

"I was with Killua when the fangirls chased him down.

But I snuck away, oh I didn't make a sound.

They stripped Killua naked and they sold his clothes on Ebay.

I bought them all and gave them to him for his birthday!"

Pan laughed as Gon went back to his spot and cleared her throat, stepping up.

"There's nothing worse than fangirls, that is what I say.

I go to school with lots of them, tolerate them every day!

But I guess I have to come clean, and spread the honest truth.

I'm proud to be a fangirl, and.. um.. I've got a sweet tooth!"

Leorio stepped up when Pan was done.

"I wish I had some fangirls, like Killua and Gon.

It'd really be great to be chased around.

You may think me crazy, but I swear I'm not kidding.

Even Hisoka has fangirls that would do his bidding!"

Kurapika buzzed them out.

"That's it for our show! Read and review and I swear we'll send you a great gift basket! Please send in your suggestions for the nest Whose Line and I'll see what I can do."

- - - Read and Review! - - -