Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe belongs to JKR. Not me, unfortunately.
"All About You"
'Hermione, what are you doing? What are you thinking?' This was my mantra as I made my way through the dark corridors of the castle I had called home for the past six and a half years of my life. Covered underneath Harry's invisible cloak, I was still wary of running into Filch or Mrs. Norris or anyone else for that matter. Being Head girl had its privileges, but I still shouldn't have been out and about at midnight on a school night.
For a second I worried that he wouldn't come or that he might have gotten caught on his way to meet me. Him… How did I even get myself into this and why did I agree to come? At the time, I couldn't have said why. Well, I probably could have, it's more that I'm not sure I would have wanted to.
I reached the doors to the library and stealthily made my way into my favorite place in the world. It felt different somehow this night, even smelled different from the usual musty odor of old leather and parchment that was usually such a comfort to me. Once inside, I stood for a minute and gave myself one last chance to back out. It appeared that my common sense had completely left me, because I removed Harry's cloak, took a deep breath, and slowly made my way through the stacks of books until I reached the table at the very back of the library. The one where He said he would be. And he was. He had his wand propped up between a couple of books and it put off a very soft light. His head of fine white blond hair was resting on his arms and he seemed to glow under the soft light. At first glance, I thought he was asleep, but when he heard me approach, he lifted his head and just stared at me for a moment as if he couldn't believe I was really standing there. That was how we stayed for another moment or two, just looking at each other, no words necessary at that point.
"Did you have any trouble getting here?" he asked me, looking at the invisibility cloak in my hands.
"No, I managed just fine, thanks. Did you?"
"Now, Granger, you should know by now that I NEVER get caught. It's all part of being a Slytherin and a Malfoy. Cunning, clever, sly, devastatingly charming…"
"Arrogant, poncy, ferret-like?" I countered. He smirked at me as he stood up and slinked closer and closer to me. My heart began pounding and the closer the got, the more I thought I was about to have a heart attack. He was so close to me at that point that I could feel his heartbeat and the warmth radiating off him. Despite this, I couldn't help but shiver. We had been looking at each other, but both of us avoiding eye contact the entire time we had been there, but I felt suddenly compelled to look into his eyes, Those mercurial pools of his that had changed colors more often than I would have thought possible. He leaned down and whispered into my ear, "I knew you'd come. You had to, just like I had to. So the question now is what are we going to do about it?"
"Do about what, Malfoy?" I asked haughtily, even though I knew full well what he was talking about.
We had been tiptoeing around this for a long time. If it hadn't been for Potions when Snape forced the Head boy and girl to work together everyday "in order to set an example on inner-house unity," although I'm pretty sure it was just meant to torture me. Not to mention Harry and Ron, who had been none to happy with the amount of time I had been spending with their least favorite Slytherin. Make that their least favorite person in the world in our age range.
One evening, I was waiting for him in the library to work on our latest assignment, at the very table we were standing in front of right now, when Anthony Goldstein approached me. He had come up behind me and covered my eyes with his hands. It literally scared the daylights out of me. Once I recovered from the scare, I realized that I felt extremely uncomfortable in his presence, as I had heard from many different people that he had been lusting after me for quite some time. My woman's intuition didn't stop me from agreeing to go into the Restricted Section of the library in order to "speak in private." Never mind the fact that the library was practically empty. Moving on, once we were secluded by all of the massive bookshelves, in the darkest, most desolate area of the entire library, I found myself pressed painfully up against the wall, one of Goldstein's hands on my mouth, using his elbow to hold my shoulders, his legs trapping mine between his, and his other hand feeling its way roughly up into my bra. Now, I might be the "smartest witch of my age," but Anthony Goldstein was at least 6'3", 200 pounds, and at my measly 5'3", 115 pounds, I am obviously no match for him physically. Things were starting to look pretty grim for me, as his slimy tongue licked my cheek and his hand squeezed my breast so hard it left a hand shaped bruise. Just when desperation began strike me, a savior in the form of a certain blond haired, gray-eyed Slytherin appeared and in one fell swoop, had Anthony off of me and pinned up against the same wall, his hand around his throat looking as in he intended to kill him right then and there. "You come within five feet of her again, and I will hex your fucking worthless, raping ass off. I'm not fucking around, man." At this point I had slid down the wall and was just sitting there with my knees drawn up, staring at the floor in shock. "Get the fuck out of here NOW, Goldstein." Malfoy drew his wand and kept it pointed at Anthony until he disappeared, and then he squatted in front of me, his hand holding my chin, inspecting me for any injuries. "Fuck, Granger. What were you doing back here with him anyways?" I was taken aback by the rage in his voice, but I also knew he was right and I proceeded to burst into tears at that very moment. "Grang…Hermione, its okay now," he said awkwardly patting my knee. For some reason this just made me sob harder and Malfoy plopped down next to me on the floor, gathered me in his arms, and just held me. No words were spoken, he just held me, alternating between rubbing soft circles on my back and caressing my hair. After what must have been a good half hour, I looked up at him and whispered, "thank you, Draco." He just looked at me, looked inside me, and I could see so many things in his eyes, painful things, and I knew then and there that we were bonded in some intangible way.
After the "Anthony Goldstein incident" as I referred to it in my mind, things began to get complicated. Before the "incident," Draco and I had been in the process of forming a friendship of sorts, at the very least an easy, relaxed, comfortable sort of civility. After the incident, however, I began to feel differently about him. I felt that he had become a sort of necessity to me in my everyday life. I saw him in classes every weekday, and we worked together in the library on most nights, but on the rare occasion that I didn't see him, I felt…wrong. When we worked together, we sat closer together than we had previously. We spoke softly to each other, even when discussing a Potions or Arithmancy assignment as if we would feel an invasion of our space together should anyone else hear our conversations. My feelings for Harry and Ron changed too. I still love them like brothers, I always will, but I couldn't handle the fact that they showed so much malice for the boy who had saved me from imminent rape, and who I had grown to care for and respect tremendously. Harry and Ron just couldn't get over their own issues long enough to realize that I have a right to develop relationships with whomever I want, and that doesn't make me a traitor to our friendship. It's funny, after all the shit those two have been through, and all things they've seen and done, they're still just boys who have a lot of growing up to do.
Back to the present time, during lunch that day, I had received an owl from Malfoy that pissed off Ron and Harry to no end:
Hermione,
I think its time we talked about this. I think you know what I'm speaking of. Meet me in the library at our table, midnight.
Draco
After a grade A temper tantrum thrown by Ron, I had marched out of the Great Hall after giving him a piece of my mind and proceeded to spend the rest of the day pondering whether or not I should take the final plunge and show up at midnight. I was pretty sure I knew what would happen if I did, and I was definitely sure that I wanted it to happen, but I couldn't help but worry about those two asses I call my best friends. When it came down to it though, I knew that I needed to do this.
As I stood in the library, in front of "our table" looking into Draco's eyes, I knew that we had already crossed the point of no return. I swear that boy can read my mind sometimes, because he chose that exact moment to say, "It's too late to turn back, Hermione." He gently brushed a strand of my unruly hair out of my eyes and tucked it behind my ear. That did it for me; I took the plunge. I stood on tip-toe, wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his oh-so-luscious ones. I could tell it surprised him, me being so forward like this, because he gasped, then wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer into his warmth. And you know, I do believe that there were fireworks and choirs singing and stars twinkling in the night sky at that moment just for us. It felt that…right. Our tongues met and tangled and there was some nibbling of tongues and lips and it was passionate, but it was also a very sweet kiss.
I finally broke the kiss so that I could just hold him and be held by him. I couldn't keep my eyes of off him. It amazed me how much we could say with just our eyes. We stood like that for quite sometime, his hands on my waist and mine on his chest, looking into each other's eyes, his gray ones locked on my caramel ones. Then with an almost agonizing slowness, his lips touched mine again. That's when it happened. I knew he felt it too; I felt it run through our bodies simultaneously.
Just then, our tongues met in a hot, slippery fashion, and he sucked on mine for a second, causing me to moan involuntarily. I had to grip my hands into his shoulders to keep my self from sinking to the floor and I was grateful for his loving hands holding me up by my hips. He slid his lips across my jaw and down my neck, leaving hot wet kisses in his wake. When his mouth reached my shoulder, he slid the strap of my camisole down and followed it with his lips. At the same time, his hands began finding their way up my shirt, exploring, and imploring me to do the same to his body. As my hands slid up his hard stomach and chest, I could feel the heat pooling between my legs like I had never felt before, like I had never thought possible. Desperate to feel his smooth, warm skin on mine, I pulled his shirt off and he pulled my camisole over my head. I pulled him closer to me as his hands unsnapped my bra and slid the straps off of my shoulders. He pulled back from me and gazed at me. Just when I was beginning to feel self-conscious, he put a finger under my chin and lifted it so that I could look him in the eyes. When I saw the lust, adoration and love there, I realized that never again could I feel self-conscious in front of this man. He kissed me then, a hot, passionate open mouth kiss that left me breathless and panting and his hands and mouth moved down to begin favoring my breasts. I threw my head back and moaned as my hands found their way into his beautiful blond hair, and I tangled my fingers up in his tresses. He fell to his knees and began to unbutton my skirt, pulling it down my legs. After stepping out of it, I too fell to my knees so that I could get him out of his trousers, as it only seemed fair. My hands played with the waistband of his pants and before I slid them off of his hips, I dipped my hand inside of them in order to grasp his long, hard heat in my small hand. As soon as my hand made contact with him, he began panting in such a way as to make me even hotter than before. He seemed inclined to want to make me pant as well as he slid his hands up my legs, stopping when he reached the warm, damp area. He felt my most private area through the material and then slid his hand inside the elastic. When I felt his fingers reach my wetness, I saw stars and was grateful that I was no longer standing. He slid two fingers inside of me and began gently thrusting them into me. He locked eyes with me again, and began kissing me as passionately as before, but with a touch of desperation this time. I knew he couldn't take much more, and to be honest, I knew I couldn't either. At that point all that mattered, and I would have sworn all that would ever matter again, was getting him inside of me and keeping him there forever. He removed his fingers from my heat and slid his pants off. He then put his hand behind my head and lowered me towards the floor until I found myself on my back laying on the fabric of his robes that he had spread out underneath us. After pulling my knickers off, and his own boxers off, he nudged my legs apart with his knees and lowered his body to lie directly between them.
"Hermione, I'll never be worthy of the gift that you are giving me. No man could ever be truly worthy of having your love, let alone taking your virginity", he whispered into my ear, his breath hot on my neck.
"Out of all the men in the world, how did I get to be so lucky as to be the one about to make love to you right now?" Draco growled in the lowest, sexiest way possible, while looking in to my eyes, sliding the head of his cock into me. Then, inch by hot, devastating inch, he slid the rest of the way into me. I felt a brief twinge of pain as I felt him tear through my barrier. He must have known that I was in some pain, as he stayed perfectly still for a long moment. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, buried his face in my neck and breathed, "Oh 'Mione, I never thought a woman could feel like this. You feel so good…" With that, I slowly began to move underneath him, earning me a gasp from my lover, who, again looking into my eyes with the most heat I had ever seen, began to slowly slide himself in and out of me. I groaned as hot ecstasy began to pool in my tummy and spine and my hands found their way down to cup his ass, pulling him deeper into me. "Oh gods, baby," he panted, speeding up his thrusts, the delicious friction of him causing me to cry out. "Draco, Draco, I think I'm going to…I'm…aahhhhhh!"
"I love you, Hermione, I love you," he cried and I felt him fill me with his hot liquid.
We lay tangled together, spent, sated and still fused together as we caught our breath, my arm thrown over my eyes, Draco with his face buried between my breasts. I lay there thinking about the words he had uttered during the throes of passion and wondered if I should bring it up or let it go. It wasn't that I was shocked or anything. I knew that I loved him and I suspected that he loved me too, but I wasn't sure if he was ready to come to terms with it. Remembering the passionate words he had whispered to me almost had me ready for another go. However, the responsible, sane part of me knew that this was not a wise idea. "Draco, we'd better get dressed, love." He kissed my breasts, looked into my eyes and kissed my lips before untangling his limbs from mine and pulling himself up. As he stood before me in all his glory, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. He knew it too.
"See something you like?" he asked smugly.
"Nope, not a thing," I lied. He pouted cutely for a second and then took my arms and lifted me to my feet.
We dressed in silence, both of us deep in our own thoughts I suppose. I was feeling a plethora of things, not least of all the fear that I was going to get my tender heart broken by the boy I had just given my virginity to, had fallen in love with at some point in the last few months. I was also thinking of Ron and Harry, and of Draco's parents, who probably expected him to follow in their footsteps, even though Voldemort had been defeated by Harry the summer previously. Not to mention the rest of the Slytherins. Oh, they'd be thrilled to know that their Prince had taken up with the muggleborn, female counterpart of the Gryffindor trio, Harry Potter's best friend. I sniffled. Without even realizing it, I had been crying.
"Hey," Draco said softly. "Why are you crying?" He used his thumbs to wipe my tears away and he kissed the tip of my nose. This, naturally, made me cry harder. I buried my face in his chest and inhaled his signature scent. So wonderfully, indescribably… him.
"We can't be together!" I cried. "This can never work. All the odds are against us. Everyone and everything is against us!" I absolutely could not stop sobbing. He frowned. "But I don't really give a shit what anybody thinks. Why do you care so much?" he asked me. I saw realization hit him, felt him stiffen and look away from me. "Is this about Potter and Weasley?"
"Draco, they're my best friends. We've been inseparable for almost seven years. Of course this is about them!
"But what about you? What about your parents, your friends, Blaise Zabini, Pansy…ugh…Parkinson? Do you think they're going to congratulate you and throw us a little party to celebrate our getting together?" I was shaking by this point and had wrapped my arms around myself, attempting to steady myself, comfort myself.
"Once again, Hermione, I don't give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks." He said it so quietly, yet with such conviction that it actually hurt my heart, and I wished so much that I could be as strong and secure as he. Maybe he'll rub off on me…
"Hermione, I can't be with you if you are going to feel ashamed of me or be insecure about our relationship. What we have is, is…real. Don't you feel it? Isn't that enough for you to finally stand up for yourselves to those two fuckwits you call your "friends"? I'm willing to give up everything I've ever known on a whim, if you'll just give this a fleeting chance!" His voice broke on the last word, as did my heart. I spun around to face him again and wanted to hold him, just hold him forever. I put my hands on either side of his face and felt a slight dampness on his cheeks. What right did Ron and Harry have to impose on this beautiful thing between Draco and me? If Draco could look past all of the childishness and prejudices, then shouldn't they also be able to?
"Draco, oh Draco, I'm so sorry. You're right of course. I do want to give this a chance, but can I please have some time to think about how I want to tell them? I mean, they shouldn't be too surprised, considering that they have been accusing me of having feelings for you for months anyways. But you know they're like brothers to me, and I really don't want to hurt them either."
"How much time do you need?" he asked after a few moments of silence. "I don't want to hide this, Hermione. I can't." At this point, he had buried his face in my hair and was nuzzling my neck so tenderly I thought I would die.
"Just give me a week. I'll tell them in a week "
It appeared that he had accepted this answer because his lips moved from my neck up to my own lips, still swollen from our earlier activities. The kiss quickly turned from sweet and tender to passionate and ravenous. I felt as if he was eating into my soul and I couldn't get enough of it. He picked me up by my waist, our lips still locked together, our tongues twisting together, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling how much he wanted me again through the material of his trousers. He propped me up against the nearest wall, using his weight to hold me there as I heard him unzip his trousers and move the crotch of my panties aside. I saw stars when he slid himself into me and we both let out tortured groans at the sensation of being joined together that way. There was something so hot about being taken against the wall that way, by the man I loved, who had just proclaimed his own deep feelings for me. My orgasm hit me almost immediately and I continued to come and come as he slid in and out of me, seeking his own sweet release, nibbling on my lips, my ear, my neck, all the while whispering words of love and affection to me. All I could do was whimper in response to his beautiful words. I felt the exact moment when his own orgasm hit, and through my own orgasmic haze I managed to look at his face as he came inside of me, his eyes locked on mine.
It took a few minutes for both of us to regain our composure, but eventually he gently set my feet back on the floor, and slowly pulled out of me. We stayed pressed up together and sprinkled each others faces with quick kisses.
"We need to get going, Hermione, it's almost three in the morning." Reluctantly, I knew he was right, but I felt magnetically drawn to his body and it took all the strength I possessed to gently push him away from me. With one last lingering kiss and gaze, we parted in the hallway, in the directions of our respective sleeping quarters.
A.N. I took the song lyrics out because I thought they were kind of a distraction from the story. Let me know what you think!