COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, Giles, Dawn, Spike and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Buffy The Vampire Slayer, together with the names, titles and back story are the sole copyright property of Joss Wheldon, Fox and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the authors. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Please contact the authors for permission to reproduce this story on any other fanfiction site.
LOVE/ GRAPHIC SEX DISCLAIMER: This story depicts a love relationship between two consenting adult women. If you are under 18 years of age or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If depictions of this nature disturb you, you may wish to read something other than this story. (Please note this may not apply until much further parts but it will be an integral part of the storyline.)
TIMEFRAME: Season Seven done Rainbow Writers Style… we are taking all that has aired up until Grave as gospel and working with what the bad evil Josh has given us… the difference WE LOVE WILLOW AND TARA… so we're going to fic all the horribleness… the theme is still "Back to the Beginning" as hinted at… but with a total focus on fixing what was done to our gorgeous lovely couple.
PAIRING: Willow and Tara… obviously!
BIG GIANT HUGE ANGST/UNHAPPINESS DISCLAIMER: So if you've seen season six… you know… ME sucks… they took us all down a road we never wanted to go… but now we have to get back… so the ride will be bumpy… but we promise this time the light… its daylight and NOT a train!
WORK OF THE RAINBOW WRITERS WARNING! … If you know our stuff you know we can OWN pain and suffering when we want too… stock up: tissues, chocolate, have loved ones near… we're going to get to a happy place but we're not going to gloss over the damage ME has done
YELLOW CRAYON XANDER WARNING: In the vein of trying to be nice… we've decided its time for Xander to clean up some of his act and take on some responsibility… no he's not turning into super Xander, but maybe a more respectable guy.
Episode RW 7. 4
Alienation
By: The Rainbow Writers
The sunlight seemed to draft through the front bay of the Summers house with a twinkle that it hadn't held in a very long time. Little beams danced across the usually dark and depressive pile of tri-folded papers and sparkled over the metal body of the pen in the Slayer's hand.
A warrior quite used to the strength of her carved stake, she now cut her opponent down to size with the sure craft of controlled black ink.
"Buffy... Anne... Summers." Buffy whispered as if almost to remind herself of just who wielded this power as she signed her name to the bottom of the blue and white bank cheque. "Take that Mr. Sunnydale Hospital Accounts Payable." With a flourish she handed the rectangle of paper off to Dawn who waited impatiently with an envelope. "Stuff and lick Lady Dawn the Mighty."
"Oh yeah." Dawn took the cheque and made it do a small dance, accompanied by jolly tune as she put it in and stuck the flap down.
"Who is next Sir Xander?" Buffy looked at the carpenter who was going through the stacks to marry the same accounts together and piling them in priority.
"The Evil Mistress of Electricity, three payments behind." Xander tore off the repayment portion and presented it to Buffy.
"Stake her, stake her." Dawn bounced in her place.
"Three payments, I scoff at her three payments." Buffy positioned her chequebook and with a mighty swipe of her pen made out the full amount. "And I raise her pre-authorized debt!" She tore off another check writing void across it to include for future payments.
"How many more have we got?" The teenager looked over to Xander.
"Mmmmm let me see." He leafed through pages. "Hospital, electricity, mortgage, phone, credit cards all paid. Al that's left is a subscription to Teen Fashion magazine."
"I have to pay that." Dawn looked down briefly her face losing its bright smile
"How much is it for?" Buffy looked at her sister.
"Don't know." She looked over at Xander.
"Twelve fifty for the year." Xander laughed as he handed over the bill.
"I think we can cover it but you're doing dishes for the next week deal?" Buffy grinned as she began another cheque
"Deal." Dawn's smile was back instantly.
"When are you expecting Giles back?" Anya asked from her place on the couch.
"Should be soon, he just had to see the manager and make the deposit." Buffy looked over at her. "What's the total left?"
"Well that depends on if you have had any more thoughts about investments." The demon glanced up from her notepad.
"Talk to me." Buffy leaned back twirling her pen.
"Oh this is so cool." Dawn squeaked from her place interrupting the conversation. "We have money." She clapped.
"Some money, no going insane." Buffy smiled softly. "We have to be responsible."
"But Xander said there might be rewards from all the returned property." Dawn looked over to the carpenter. "We could go insane with that."
"There might be indeed." Xander nodded firmly.
"Anya, what do you think?" Buffy turned and looked at the demon. "Invest, splurge or save?"
"Well that would depend, I would probably say invest in some major life insurances." She put forward humourlessly.
"Anya, I think Buffy is asking you for some honest input in a field that you have the most influence in." Xander coughed at looked at his ex. "Without mentioning the life insurance."
"Not that I don't want to listen to this but isn't it time we woke Willow for her pills?" Dawn asked though if she was honest she didn't want to listen to money talk that didn't involve what colour sneakers she was getting or how many new tops.
"It is. Can you take care of that?" Buffy looked at her sister with a gentle smile.
"Yep, I'll get right on it." Dawn pushed up and towards the kitchen.
Willow appraised the living room from the middle of the stairs and reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear she carefully went down the rest of them.
"Did I miss my invitation to the happy morning party?" She pulled at the edge of the sparkly dog t-shirt she wore and smiled as she reached the doorway. When she'd awoken Tara had been sleeping peacefully and she'd convinced herself she was going to have a good day.
"Will!" Buffy was the first to tune into the redhead's voice having noticed the movement on the stairs seconds before everyone else. "No you got an invite it just doesn't kick in till you were de-cuddled." She explained and then looked up the stairs beyond her friend. "No Tara?" She added.
"Still sleepy." Willow's smile faded down slowly. "I was going to get her some breakfast." She pointed to the kitchen.
"What's on the menu Wilster?" Xander smiled his encouragement to the redhead.
"I was thinking cereal and toast." Willow listed off. "And maybe juice."
"Sounds great, you need a hand?" Buffy asked softly not wanting to offend her friend but wanting her to know that it was ok to be unsure.
"That would be nice." Willow nodded brushing her hands over the pockets of her slightly baggy jeans. "Does anyone else want anything?" She questioned softly when no one responded immediately.
"No, I think we're all good." Buffy answered before anyone could. "Dawn's in the kitchen I'm sure she'd lend a hand if you asked her." She offered softly knowing that it would be good for her best friend and sister to have some time together. Time when the youngster didn't have to be on edge in fear of what disaster might happen.
"Okay." Willow nodded and began walking towards the kitchen. As she entered Dawn was already busy pouring out juice having collected up her morning pills. "Hi." She stopped just inside the doorway reaching to adjust her shirt again.
"Willow." Dawn turned and gave the redhead a smile.
"Buffy said you could help me." Willow smiled back softly. "I was going to get breakfast for Tara."
"Of course, anything." Dawn nodded eagerly as Willow explained what she was doing. "What are we fixing her?"
"I thought toast and cereal." Willow explained her theory. "She likes both of them."
"She does." Dawn agreed feeling a bit goofy as her moves and expressions seemed a bit too exaggerated.
"And juice." Willow came in further.
"We have apple and orange and that strange mixed one that Buffy drinks." Dawn put the glass down and crossed to the fridge pulling it open for Willow to examine.
"Ewww." Willow made a playful face. "What would you like to bring her?" The redhead came over peering in.
"She likes either, her favourite is…" Dawn paused and then continued in a 'Tara' accent. "What ever Willow is having." She grinned.
"I'll have apple." Willow laughed at the imitation.
"Great." Dawn pulled the carton out and put it on the side next to the orange one.
"I can get the bread." Willow moved around the counter and opened the breadbox.
"So any ideas what you and Tara might do today? The weather is still nice, we could put sun chairs out on the back lawn and you could sun bathe." Dawn suggested.
"That would be nice." Willow nodded as she carefully took out two pieces of bread and eased them into the toaster. "Did you want toast too?" She turned back to the teenager.
"Yes, please." Dawn nodded. "So…" The teenager hesitated for just a moment. "So how are you feeling?"
"I feel okay." Willow took more bread out. "How do I look?" She turned playing with the edge of her t-shirt again.
"You look great." Dawn nodded enthusiastically.
"How are you feeling?" Willow smiled and questioned back.
"I'm good." Dawn took a swig of the orange juice she had already poured.
"Maybe tomorrow we can convince her to make us pancakes." Willow kept her smile.
"Do you think?" Dawn beamed and looked at Willow bright eyed.
"We'd have to make sure we have all the stuff she needs, you know how she likes to use that Soya milk." The redhead appraised thoughtfully.
"We can go shopping, mass shopping." Dawn enthused and started to make a mental list.
"Remember when we went shopping that time and we did the cart racing in the frozen department?" Willow giggled lightly.
"And Buffy told us we were being childish and then joined in." Dawn took up the story. "And, and then that old lady told us that they go faster if you take the frozen peas out." She laughed.
"Didn't matter, I still beat you." Willow stuck her tongue out at Dawn. "Tara said so."
"She lied!" Dawn put her hand on her hip indignantly.
"She let you buy those cookies because you lost though." Willow mimicked the pose.
"Yeah which is why I didn't make a fuss." The teenager pointed out the obvious. Willow was still smiling as the toast popped and she turned to replace it with the new pieces of bread. "So is Tara still asleep?" Dawn asked as she took two bowls out for whichever cereal Willow chose.
"She is." Willow nodded as she pulled out a butter knife and got the jam out of the cupboard. "Dawn, can I ask you a question?" Her voice went slightly softer.
Dawn looked around for a second checking that indeed the redhead was talking to her.
"Me?" She pointed to her own chest.
"Yes, you are Dawn." Willow turned around.
"Well yes," Dawn tried to cover her surprise with a goofy smile. "Of course you can." She added making it clear that Willow could ask her anything.
"Do you understand how she came back?" Willow's face held a curious and confused honesty.
"Honestly?" Dawn thought for a moment and then shook her head. "No." She admitted.
"Okay I was worried it was just me." Willow calmed more.
"Oh no it's not just you, in fact I think the only one who has a real clue is her." Dawn nodded out of the kitchen window towards the back garden where Madalene was just visible. The Spellcaster was cross-legged on a blanket in the middle of the grass.
"Who is she?" Willow looked out at the back of the Spellcaster's head, knowing she knew nothing more really than the woman's name.
"She's Tara's cousin or something." Dawn replied casually. "It happened to her too."
"She's a witch isn't she?" Willow appraised quietly.
"She is." Dawn nodded and looked out of the window at the silent woman.
"She seems so deep in thought all the time." Willow appraised in a slightly distracted way as the second set of toast popped and she put jam on it.
"Yeah, I think she thinks too much." Dawn admitted and shrugged as the train of thought turned in her head. "And I think Xander's soft on her." She added with a grin confiding in Willow this unspoken secret that she had harboured for a few days.
"Xander?" Willow turned and then laughed. "That's funny."
"He still loves Anya though which means they wont ever get together." Dawn summed up the honest truth.
"I think the fact she's gay might stop that too." Willow added without missing a blink as she cut the toasts into triangles.
"Gay?" Dawn whispered literally lowering her head and turning to Willow in secrecy. "Really?" She looked at the redhead all wide eyed.
"Oh, I mean... I think... I could be wrong." Willow turned to Dawn and blushed a bit.
"Oh poor Xander." Dawn giggled. "Everyone he likes is either gay, demonic or destined to be single."
"I could be wrong." Willow repeated giggling with the teenager's appraisal.
"I doubt it, I mean you know Tara was." Dawn pointed out. "Remember…" She began excitedly. "How you used to come in having been in class with her before you got together and you'd be all floaty and happy but wouldn't let on why and then when you finally got together." Dawn raised her eyebrows on the word finally.
"I told you." Willow smiled softly as she remembered the long talk she'd had with the surprisingly open and understanding young woman. "Don't you think she is?" She looked back through the window in the door.
"She could be." Dawn appraised the witch again. "What makes you think it?"
"I don't know just this air she gives." Willow shrugged.
"Like Tara?" Dawn inquired genuinely interested.
"No, she's much different than Tara." Willow shook her head literally staring out the window now. "She's more resolved, more rage against the storm but still gentle like something taught her a great lesson once." She blinked slowly.
"I think she's sad and lonely." Dawn admitted her honest impression of the spellcaster. "She…" The teenager paused as if ashamed of what she was about to say. Willow shivered and turned back to the teenager waiting.
As Willow looked at her Dawn shook herself a little changing her mind about her sentence instead falling silent.
"You were going to say something." Willow prompted softly.
"I…" Dawn began again looking at Willow for a sign that she really could say what she felt, looking for the 'old Willow' the one she could say things to.
"You can tell me." The redhead stepped a bit closer. "I know I'm not me most of the time but its getting better."
"She reminds me of Buffy." The teenager admitted sadly. "Alone, different, misunderstood." She looked down despondently at the floor and shivered. "It's not right for anyone to feel like that." She added concerned.
"It must be hard for her." Willow nodded and reached out to hug the teenager closing her eyes as she did so. "Should we bring her breakfast?" Her simple feeling mind tried to find a simple answer.
Dawn hugged Willow so tightly back that in the back of her mind reason screamed out at her to loosen the grip, but she couldn't. She held Willow, one of her 'mommies', one of the two people that had taken care of her when everything in her world had fallen apart.
"I love you Dawn." Willow whispered tightening her grip as she felt the teenager cling onto her.
"I love you." Dawn replied tears filling her brown eyes. "I can't believe I have you, both of you back." She whispered nuzzling her head into Willow's neck.
"You could come out with us and sunbathe later." Willow leaned her head into Dawn's.
"You two need time." Dawn pulled herself together a little realising that maybe she shouldn't have said anything. After all she didn't want to appear needy and push Willow further away with guilt.
"We have all the time in the world." Willow remembered Tara's words and shared them trying to make Dawn feel better.
Tara pushed her sunglasses up on her head as she watched Dawn move from her sun chair into the house. As the teenager had predicted it was a gorgeous warm fall day and she was truly enjoying the chance to soak up some warm rays and calming breeze.
"Dawnie's very bright this morning." Tara noted as the teenager hurried through to the bathroom still humming the last tune she and Tara had been singing in their impromptu karaoke session.
"I told her I'd ask you to make us pancakes tomorrow." Willow looked up from her shaded place under the large white and blue umbrella. It gave her pale skin amble protection from the sun and shielded her into a more controlled space so that the sound of every bird and passing car didn't make her nerves shiver. "I think she missed them a lot."
"Funny shapes or rounds?" Tara heard herself ask before even registering the sentence and then as she did she chuckled as her fuzzy brain highlighted the rediscovered fact in more clarity. "I have to have Soya milk." She added thoughtfully.
"You do." Willow smiled brightly. "Is there anything else you want to get?"
"Anything you particularly want?" Tara turned the question around attempting in a subtle way to get Willow a little more excited about eating. She still felt a pang of worry as her mind superimposed the remembered shadowed of a slim but much healthier body over the emancipated one before her. Though she was positive that Willow had put on a small amount of weight since her return and she hoped that with subtle encouragement they could make it a permanent increase.
"Mmmmm." Willow put her hand on her tiny stomach as if thinking. "Caesar salad." She put forward trying very hard to think of something that sounded appetizing.
"Nice choice, we should make a list." Tara rewarded her lover with a smile. "Then we'll have lots in the house for your rumbly tummy."
"We could make one." Willow reached down to pick up her bottle of water and took a small sip. "I could go get some paper."
"I'll go, you stay there and concentrate on getting that hair even flamier." Tara pushed up from her place and casually threw her sunglasses onto the cushion. "Do you want anything?" She asked as she secured her light green sarong around her and slipped her arms into the sleeves of her cream cardigan.
"I'm okay." Willow looked up and admired her girlfriend. "You look beautiful."
"You think?" Tara glanced down at herself blushing slightly as her hair fell forward.
"You are beautiful." Willow repeated lovingly.
"So are you." Tara leaned down and forward kissing Willow briefly.
"Mmmmm and lucky." Willow smiled into the kiss.
"Me too." Tara pulled back and for a long moment gazed at her red haired lover.
"Hurry back." She encouraged.
Tara nodded and walked back towards the house, finally feeling the darkness that her nighttime visions had left within her lift a little. Things were going to be okay, they just needed some time and lots of care.
Tara walked through the back door into the kitchen and was slightly surprised to find it empty, not even Dawn's footsteps could be heard heading back from her short trip inside.
In fact the house was in all ways just too quiet. With so many of them bustling around the house usually there was a radio, television or at the very least the soft sound of someone lovingly squabbling together coming from another room.
Trying not to think about the quiet, she moved in through the empty kitchen trying to remember the best place to find paper and a pen only to see Buffy turning out of the dining room on her way upstairs.
"I thought you'd all gone out and forgot to tell us." She called to the Slayer as she came down the hall.
"Tara." Buffy stopped and turned back looking slightly worried. "We were going to come get you when we were ready." She offered the cryptic explanation.
"Ready?" Tara frowned at both the Slayer's words and the look on her face. "What's going on?" She asked for some reason not moving from her spot, the quest for paper and a pen were long gone from her mind.
"Mads and Giles came up with a solution but apparently we have to act quickly, something about time of the lunar cycle or expiration of an ingredient or something." Buffy tried to explain what little she understood about the semantics.
"A solution?" Tara frowned harder.
"A solution to help Willow, they found a spell." Buffy smiled and looked back to the dining room.
"A spell?" The words stuck in Tara's throat.
"Apparently Mads was doing her morning meditation thing and she remembered a book. When Giles found it at the shop it had the spell." Buffy looked back. "They could probably explain it better."
"Where are they?" Tara demanded quickly her voice changing slightly. It lost its usual soft edge and settled strangely to be more clipped and urgent.
"In there." She pointed through the archway a bit surprised by the tone in the blonde's voice.
"Why are you going up stairs?" She checked finally managing to make her legs move towards the other room.
"They want a mattress for Willow." Buffy put the words forward a bit hesitant as she saw the hardness rise in the Tara's body.
Without another word Tara walked past her and abandoning her trip upstairs the Slayer quickly followed.
Tara could not have been prepared for the sight that met her if she had been given a lifetime to do so. For just as in her dream, Madalene was sat crossed legged on the floor just putting the finishing touches to a large blue sand pentagram that angled in perfect symmetry around her. Beside her leg a container of red sand waited to make a second interior one.
Giles was crouched at the far point, fussing over the positioning of a large candle in relation to the other four. He was glancing quickly between a thick aged book in his hand and the arrangement Madalene had drawn out. In the background Xander busied himself clearing a suitable area for the mattress.
In a nauseating assault on her nose a heavy incense already hung in the air all around them from the bowls of dark material that burnt in the four corners of the room.
"Tara." Madalene finished off a line and spoke as she looked up to see the blonde in the doorway.
"What's going on?" Tara took everything in slowly feeling a darkness creep back down her spine and through into her heart.
"We found a spell that will allow you to travel into Willow's mind and correct the lack of natural order." Madalene slowly put the cap back on the container.
"You didn't tell me." Tara kept her replies short as she focused on looking between Giles and Madalene, not sure if she was disappointed or outright angry.
"We thought we would use the opportunity that the weather provided us with." Giles explained thoughtfully. "You and Willow should be rested before we attempt this." He looked at Madalene for support.
"I didn't want you to drain yourself with the preparations." Madalene explained a little more concretely. "It's going to be a difficult journey."
"It's not." Tara shook her head.
"It's not what?" The Spellcaster asked confused.
"It's not going to be a difficult journey." Tara explained without explaining. From his place Giles frowned and pushed to stand fully upright before looking down again at his book as if checking.
"It is, we'll be creating an ethereal body for you so that you can superimpose your essence over Willow's and trace yourself into her mind." Madalene explained more thinking that simply the reality of what they were going to do was keeping Tara from understanding the difficulty.
"I'm afraid Madalene is right," The Watcher supported. "This is a complicated and powerful spell Tara, the least we can do is make sure all the preparations are done." He crossed closer to the young woman. "Madalene will be actually helping with the spell to draw all the powers away from your actions and into herself."
"And I'll be worrying." Xander gave her a smirk.
"You should look at the spell." Giles encouraged holding the book out to her.
For a moment Tara just looked at the book in Giles' hand and then slowly she reached out for it though when it was in her hands all she did was close it and draw it to her chest before she turned around and headed away into the living room.
"Umm Tara?" Buffy reluctantly followed her.
In an ant like procession the rest of the small group followed the blondes across to the other room. Tara had taken up a stance near far head of the coffee table. Giles came only slightly into the room to stay at the other end while Xander moved around him and sat down on the couch.
Madalene had slowly moved out of the spell area and came in to hang near Buffy's shoulder towards the middle of the room.
"There is going to be no spell." Tara glanced around the group who had gathered around her.
"Tara." Madalene spoke her cousin's name as a soft question.
"No spell." She said again looking passed the Spellcaster towards the entrance of the dining room. "Clean it up." She added her voice short and crisp
"Tara, this is our best chance at successfully achieving..." Madalene stepped forward a bit poising the calm argument.
"Clear it up." Tara cut her off her blue eyes flicking up to look firmly into Madalene's.
"Tara I can understand that you may be wary of this but I assure you, Madalene and will be directly monitoring the spell." Giles stepped in to offer support.
"I would clear it myself but someone has to be with Willow and keep her away until its all gone." Tara turned her hard blue gaze on the Watcher.
"I think you should at least look at the spell." Madalene looked at the book in Tara's hand.
"I don't have to Madalene." Tara didn't look back. "There isn't going to be any spell, Willow mustn't come into the reach of this magic. Any magic." The Wicca was adamant.
"This is our chance Tara." Buffy put forward her voice firm. "If anyone can help her it's you, this is all just to get you in the place to do that."
"I know, but not with magic Buffy. We have to find another way." For a moment Tara's eyes and voice softened as she turned to look at the Slayer.
"Why not magic? What other way is there?" The Slayer questioned immediately.
"I don't know." Tara admitted her failing.
"We know magic can go wonky." Xander added his voice to the argument. "But going into peoples heads isn't the kind of thing we can just 'do' Tara." He shrugged having figured magic was their only hope, good magic of course.
"Do you need more time to heal? To get stronger?" Buffy questioned trying to figure out what the Wicca's hesitation was.
"No." Tara shook her head.
"Read the spell." Giles pushed softly. "I realise that you must be scared." He continued pulling off his glasses. The Watcher's words caught Tara's attention and she turned to look at him as he continued. "You're afraid that you won't remember, that your Wicca skills will be gone." He smiled softly believing he had found the root of her worry. "Read the spell, I am sure it will remind you. I believe you are more than capable."
Tara couldn't help feeling her heart deflate as Giles finished. She had so hoped that he would be able to understand what she was saying and stand with her.
"Why are none of you listening to me?" Tara snapped suddenly taking everyone by surprise. "I said no spell and I mean no spell." She slammed the book on the table and then pushed it across towards the Watcher dismissing it. "Now I am going to go back out to Willow and by the time we come back in this will all be gone, no trace, no anything." Her blue eyes sparkled as she barked out orders. "This book goes back where it came from and all talk of magic ends here."
"You won't do the spell?" Buffy had watched the book slide down the table her anger growing as it moved.
"More than that." Tara swung to look at Buffy. "No one will be doing the spell or any spell ever again around my Willow." Her voice dropped low and held a vague threatening tone. "No magic."
"Oh because sitting around doing nothing and letting her head implode in on itself is such a fantastic option." Buffy barked back as she stalked towards the front door.
"You think I like this!" Tara shouted after her, the very fact that she did so caused the Slayer to stop and turn. "You think I like being handed the answer and then having to be the one throwing it back at you. Willow is my girlfriend, my life. I am the reason she's like this." She seethed. "And I will find a way of saving her but not like this." She pointed down at the book. "Not with magic."
"She is not just your life." Buffy shook her head as she yanked open the door. "And if I could have done this without you and your damn magic don't you think I would have by now?" She stalked out taking the last word.
Tara let the resounding slam of the front door ring in her ears for a moment before she fixed the Spellcaster with her icy blue eyes.
"All of it gone." She hissed low and angry. "Not a trace of anything."
"Yes though against my better judgement." Madalene nodded slowly adverting her eyes as she turned out of the cold look.
Tara broke her stare slowly not able to look at Giles or Xander as she turned. It was only then as her eyes looked towards the kitchen that she saw Dawn standing in the doorway, her doe like eyes moist. The Wiccan's heart sank further as she hadn't wanted Dawn to witness any of this.
"Dawnie I..." Tara called softly to the teenager as she took a step towards her.
"I should..." Dawn's eyes darted around the room.
"I'm sorry." Tara whispered her lip trembling a little as she recognised fear and discomfort in the teenager eyes. Something about the image caused her heart to sink as if this were something she was used to seeing or was it feeling? She decided to make it easier for the youngster by being the one to move as she slipped off towards the stairs.
"Mr. Giles, would you be so kind as to clean up. I haven't called any power yet so there is nothing magical to concern yourself with other than the actual ingredients." Madalene's voice was hollow as she bent down by the side chair and picked up her shoulder bag. "I have to speak with Buffy."
"Of course." He looked somewhat awkwardly down.
She nodded her thanks and moved out the front door, though this time it closed quietly as she exited.
Madalene's eyes were downcast as she closed the door and with her hand still on the doorknob took a moment to steady herself before she pushed off with the intention of chasing after the Slayer. As she set off, her steps faltered a bit stunned as before she could move she'd found Buffy.
"I thought my chase after you would take me a lot farther than the front yard." She spoke softly after she'd watched Buffy do one pace of the front sidewalk.
"I don't run away from anything anymore." Buffy's voice was hollow as she continued to pace.
"There is a great difference between running and stepping away from the heart of the storm in order to truly assess what is going on." Madalene moved a few steps closer but didn't breech the line of the blonde's pacing.
"I really don't know if I can cope with philosophy right now Mads thank you anyway." Buffy didn't want to be sharp or sarcastic but it was hard to curb her initial reaction.
"Then how about a firm, wow that really pissed me off!" Madalene growled and then visibly restrained herself as she took a deep breath.
"I think I made that pretty obvious." Buffy stopped her pacing and drew in a long lungful of air as well.
"I meant I was pissed off." Madalene made her own move away from the house. "As if I would consciously do something as foolish as subject any soul to a spell that could potentially bring on its own destruction."
"Does it have to be Tara?" Buffy looked at the Spellcaster her mind whirling.
"It would be difficult to perform the spell with anyone else." Madalene folded her arms across her body. "Only because their magic wouldn't be strong enough."
"Difficult, was that impossible?" Buffy pushed.
"It could take weeks to train someone to respond properly to the telepathy, train them to harness it and use it as a conduit." Madalene scowled at the Slayer. "Nothing is impossible."
"But what if that other person was the Chosen one?" Buffy stood but she bounced a little on her toes as her quick mind formulated a plan.
"Giles won't allow it." Madalene put up the first obstacle she saw ahead of them. "He won't risk you."
"Giles wants her back as much as me, as any of us." She shook her head. "He will because he owes her." Her voice was as cold as Tara's had been. "So tell me again how difficult and remember I'm the slayer." She looked at the spellcaster unblinking.
"For me like dragging a forty ton slab of concrete up Mount Everest, for you like riding the tilt a whirl for a week straight and then being asked to do brain surgery the first moment you step off the ride." Madalene tried to gauge a Buffy friendly metaphor. *And then there is the telepathy.* She pushed her voice into the Slayer's head waiting for the flare of pain it would entice within her. It was a difficult thing to understand or explain but that particular gift carried with it an undesirable mostly unexplainable burden. From what the legends told her it had not always been like this but over time the gift had grown to help those of the line recognize each other as to talk in this way didn't bring pain as it did when a user attempted to directly enter a stranger's mind.
"So no walk in the park but not as bad as coming back from the dead and hey I've done that twice." Half way through her sentence Buffy winced a little as the spellcaster's voice cut through her mind. "And I am used to pain." She added her voice lower. "Why does it do that though?" She questioned perplexed as to why when Tara had used the gift it had felt more like a warm wave of wind passing through her mind.
"From what I understand it naturally brings pain but with familiarity between essences, love you could say, the entrance of the words is buffered so that the pain is dimmed away. We've only known each other a short time so we do not have the necessary familiarity. That leaves the biggest question to be..." Madalene put her hand out. "Do you trust me?"
For a long moment Buffy looked at Madalene's outstretched hand, her eyes flicking up to the house and then back.
"I trusted Tara."
"She thinks she is doing what is right." Madalene assessed gently. "I don't fault her for that."
"She's been back less than a week, how can she know what's best? She's seen nothing Madalene, nothing." Buffy snarled unable to stay calm. "Willow went through a time when they had to tie her down. Can you imagine having to see your best friend with thick leather straps around her tiny wrists tying her down to a white sterile bed, day after day and you couldn't do a damn thing to stop it?"
"Then I offer you all I can to help you." Madalene flexed her fingers, her hand still hanging in the air. "To help her. To pull this back from the place it should never have been taken too."
"To get her back." Buffy vowed as she reached out and closed her hand around Madalene's.
"This vow I seal." Madalene tightened her hand around Buffy's and briefly closed her eyes.
Dawn raised her hand hesitantly before she knocked on the barrier of the bathroom door in a short tap-tap.
"Tara?" She questioned her voice hushed and sounding a little more scared then she had wanted it to. The door remained closed for a moment but soon eased open to reveal a teary eyed Tara trying desperately to compose herself. "Hi." Dawn gave a little wave.
"I'm sorry." Tara looked up at the teenager trying to smile but she just unable to find the energy to do so.
"Are you okay?" She didn't accept the apology.
"I didn't handle that well." Tara admitted shaking her head. "Are you all right?" She added looking into brown eyes for any clue as to what the teenager was feeling.
"I helped them clean up, it's all back to normal. Giles is just finishing up to put the books in his car." Dawn held blue eyes.
"Willow?" The blonde enquired after her girlfriend.
"She's still outside." Dawn confirmed having checked several times during the procedure.
"Did she doze off?" Tara asked hopefully.
"I told her you got busy helping Buffy with something but you'd be back soon." Dawn shook her head. "She's reading."
"Oh." Tara nodded grateful for the teenager's cover. "Thank you." She conveyed her gratefulness.
"Are you okay?" Dawn checked on her other big worry in all this.
"I..." Tara began about to assure the teenager she was but she stopped and shook her head. "No." She replied more honestly.
"Was the spell not a good one?" Dawn tried to piece together what she'd heard.
"I don't know." Tara admitted. "But I... I had a dream." She confided in the teenager.
"What kinda dream?" Dawn quickly picked up on it.
"About the spell." Tara was relieved to just tell someone. This is what she had planned on doing with Mr. Giles or Madalene when she had got up. She had been waiting for a quiet moment but when she'd awoke there had been a lovely breakfast and then a plan for sun bathing in the garden with Willow. All had been important to the redhead and her needs were paramount.
"What spell? The spell they..." She stopped herself and then made a small noise of understanding. "Was it a nightmare?" The question made Tara nod wordlessly.
"The room was exactly as they had it the markings the same." Tara shivered at the vision. Dawn stayed silently to let her continue explaining. "The spell started, but..." The blonde's voice trailed off and she shivered again.
"But?" Dawn pushed feeling her warm sun kissed skin rise into goosebumps.
"We can't do it Dawn, not yet. Willow can't be near anything magical, not affecting her, not even near her." Tara settled on the words as her mind was flooded with images of her beloved working under the magical influence of darkness.
"Then how will you get into her head to fix the holes?" Dawn moved closer.
"I don't know." A tight hard sob broke from the blonde's throat and she looked up at the teenager for support of some kind, any kind.
"We'll figure it out." Dawn reached out and hugged Tara. "We'll figure out a way without any magic."
"I just wish I knew how." Tara whispered hugging the teenager back.
Buffy walked back down the aged salt worn beams of the pier towards the concrete shore of the dock. It had seemed the most hopeful place for her to find something undead to beat with still so long before the setting of the sun.
Her only other option was going to Willie's and tearing the place apart but she didn't feel that focused. She just felt like a little necessary random slayer violence to quell the adrenaline in her system.
It had been such a hard shock when Tara had stood up to her that Buffy had been forced to throw all of her natural reactions into near reverse. That she'd found an ally in Madalene was about the only fact that kept her from mentally ripping apart. She wished so much though that Tara was in agreement with them, it would make all of this so much easier. But she'd been the one making the hard decisions to help Willow the last few months and maybe now that Tara was back that still wasn't going to change.
Buffy's senses snapped and in an instant she turned as a slight clatter as a empty box crate jumped against another in the alley down between two shipping containers.
As she made her way slowly down the alley the stench of rotting fish made her reach up to cover her nose. The sound of furious chewing made her press forward as she came clear of a tall spread of crates. She blinked hoping she was mistaking the hunched figure before her as something other than a dog but as it reached out a scaly clawed hand to spear another fish and then with an angry growl tossed the unwanted meal away she new her original assumption was right.
"Isssshh jinadd voorga." The low rumbling growl reached Buffy's ears just as two lime green eyes turned to look at her disdainfully.
"Sorry I don't speak any demon." Buffy's body flexed into a fighting pose.
She could see that the eyes looking at her held some intelligence, but the large mouth holding a row of razor sharp teeth and four long fangs did not make her consider that intelligence to be too overwhelming.
"Vinn dard." It growled pushing itself onto its feet fully straightening its thick legs.
"Yeah you're a big one aren't you?" Buffy watched as it stretched up and reached close to seven feet tall. The creature regarded Buffy for a moment as if assessing her threat value.
"Immzadu." It pointed a claw towards Buffy.
"Yes, I will kick your ass." Buffy bounced on the balls of her feet lightly.
Reaching over the beast picked up a nearby crate and tossed it towards the Slayer before it lumbered out of the dead end.
Buffy cursed as she punched up to block the crate and her hand imbedded through the rotting wood. As quickly as she could she shed it and headed after the creature.
Madalene had done a few careful slow laps of the yard before she had made her way back into the house. She was pleased to see that everything was cleared away and the lower floor was completely back to normal. The last thing that was left was being taken care of by the Watcher who was carefully packing away spell objects and books for transport.
"Madalene…" The Watcher did not look up. "Did Buffy not come back in with you?" He asked as he worked.
"She needed a cooling off period." Madalene admitted moving over to help him. "She'll be back later."
"I can understand that was a little…" He paused thinking of the best way to describe it. "Unexpected for us all." He admitted softly.
"Yes, I guess we were mistaken when we figured she'd be happy we'd found the spell." Madalene carefully sealed up the container of blue ceremonial sand.
"I suppose we should have talked to her first." The Watcher mused as he stood up straight confident all the things were packed and ready to be move out of the house.
"I'm not sure it would have prepared any of us for an all out refusal." The Spellcaster couldn't keep the bite out of her voice.
Giles looked around and at the stairs, there had been no sight of Dawn or Tara since their disappearance and Xander had slipped out into the garden to watch over Willow.
"I was thinking of leaving, letting things cool for a while. I have a few apartments to see, perhaps..." He looked briefly at the Spellcaster not finishing.
"Thank you, I think perhaps I need a little air." Madalene smiled gently as she read the hidden offer. "That is if you don't mind having company."
"Not at all." Giles shook his head as he reached out to pick some of the equipment up. "I need someone to make sense of all the agent's babble." He joked lightly though the humour was forced.
"If you're really lucky I was training to be a lawyer in my former life." Madalene winked trying to help him shore up his spirits. He turned to her with a grateful smile.
"I can't help but feel I've made things worse for everyone." He admitted quietly not sure why the young woman seemed the most likely among all of them would probably understand him best.
"Mr. Giles, you are doing your best as we all are, there is nothing negative in that." Madalene shook her head. "And just because this avenue has been closed to us doesn't mean that others do not exist."
"Yes, I have been thinking about that." Giles lowered his voice even more. "But we'd be wise to leave that discussion for later."
"Maybe we should get this stuff out to your car." Madalene offered knowing that in the house was truly not the proper place to have any conversation about magic, not after Tara's ultimatum. She might not like her cousin's choice but she would abide by her request.
"Maybe we should." He agreed nodding slightly. "I've left a note." He added nodding to the table.
"Perfect." Madalene picked up a pile of books leaving the case for him. "We don't want t keep your agent waiting."
Willow looked up into the sky as the bright sunshine dimmed down for a moment while a fluffy white cloud passed in front of it. Xander's odd grumbling only broke the serenity of the backyard as the small stones he was throwing into the side hedge crackled through the waxy leaves. Glancing back down to the empty chairs she blinked hard and a myriad of shadows and stars sparkled in her vision.
"Where is Tara?" She questioned softly looking at the blonde's discarded sunglasses.
"Some where inside I guess." Xander didn't turn and shrugged as he pitched another stone into the hedge.
'She went to get paper to make a grocery list.' Her mind answered the question but then a feeling of trepidation came with the answer. 'But that was along time ago.' She opened her eyes to look at the back door and even with the protection of the cloud a large sunspot hovered in her vision like a dark shadow covering part of the door and wall.
'What is that?' A scared voice inside her questioned as she scanned over to Xander and the shadow followed to obscure part of him. Trying to get away from it she pushed back a bit further into the safety of the large umbrella and closed her eyes tight. She brought her hands up to rub them lightly hoping whatever it was would go away.
A deep fear set into her as she opened them again only to look down and see that part of the blanket and her left foot was now missing.
"Get off me!" She squealed anxiously and picking up her water threw the contents at the growing spot hoping to make it retreat.
"Willow you ok? Is there a bee or something?" The sound of the redhead's scared voice made the carpenter turn.
Frantically Willow turned toward the sound of her best friend's voice, hoping to find an ally against the dark shadow only to see that the shadow had now taken off his head.
"XANDER!" She screamed staring wide eyed as his headless body walked closer.
"I can't see it Will, no sign of a bug." Xander frowned wishing he'd put on some sunglasses as the sun now shone at a blinding brightness as another cloud moved away.
"Get off him!" Willow in a desperate move popped up and grabbing the blanket she'd been sitting on the move displaying the plastic lounge chairs that Dawn and Tara had been sitting on as she swung her makeshift weapon at the shadow and subsequently Xander's head.
"Willow, there's no bug on..." Xander didn't finish before the blanket muffled his words, the sudden blindness and uncertainty about what she was doing causing him to nearly trip and fall. "OW!" He yelped ducking backwards trying to get away from her.
His cry made her pull step back and as she did her landed over Tara's sunglasses, she felt the plastic give way under her foot the cracking sound echoing through her dry ears. Willow fell to her knees instantly and began fishing the broken pieces out from the grass.
"Oh Tara!" She clutched the plastic and metal bits in her hands as she started sobbing. "I let it kill you, I let you die."
"Willow, easy man. You just broke her sunglasses." Xander rubbed at his eye that was stinging from catching the blanket edge in it during her initial attack. "We can buy her a new pair." He added as he watched the redhead scan for any lost fragments. His brain was completely taken by surprise and only now was slowly realising this was something more than a bug attack or a case of broken sunglasses. "Or I could just run very quickly and find her." He added more to himself than anyone else as he glanced to the open back door. The problem was that running inside to find Tara would mean leaving Willow alone and that probably wasn't a good idea.
Willow clutched all the broken parts in one hand though the other kept clawing at the dirt. Her breathing was fast and panicked as her body moved closer and closer to hyperventilating. Xander felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise as the redhead obviously got worse, he was going to have to make a decision soon.
'Oh god Harris come on what's it going to be, stay and deal or run...' The carpenter's internal dialogue stopped as he looked up straight into blue eyes.
"Willow?" Tara looked from Xander down to her cowering, weeping girlfriend. "Xander?" She asked as she slipped down onto her knees in the grass beside the redhead.
Willow had curled into a tight ball, her forehead almost resting on her knees in the contorted position. One hand still clawed at the grass and her ranting was a fever of random words and noises that echoed in and out with the breakneck pace of her breathing.
"Shadow... headless shadow boy... pain of the world... of the dark... shadow... bee... broken... broken down... down into the shadow... down without… alone... gone... alone..." She arched a little as her body went taunt. "Eating me alive... shirt... bloody shirt... don't get used to my clothes... coffee... alone... black coffee black... alone... gone."
"Tara get back." Xander warned waving his hand to guide the blonde away. "If she seizures she might hurt you, she won't mean to but she loses control of her limbs."
"I can't back off." Tara threw a frown his way and reached out her hand towards Willow. "Baby, its ok." She whispered reassuringly.
"White walls... Stevenson hall... mine... she was mine... she was mine... you had to right to take her... I'll kill you all." Willow hissed her fingers curling into the dirt.
"Willow, Willow no." Tara reached and closed her hand over the one Willow had clenched in the ground pulling it free from the dark soil. "No more death, no one has to die, I'm right here." She stressed more firmly.
"Xander has no head." A scared voice whispered though her head didn't rise. "The shadow got him."
"He does, look and see." Tara beckoned quickly to Xander and he bent down closer so she could ruffle his dark hair.
"How did you come back?" Willow's breathing was till fast and dangerous but the question came in a more calm voice.
"I don't really know." Tara admitted. "Perhaps I just couldn't leave you." She added softly.
"I can't breathe." The redhead pointed out as she tried to uncurl a little but the tension in her body wouldn't let her.
"Ok, we can fix that sweetie." Tara said calmly before she turned towards the house. "DAWNIE!" She called through to the teenager who she knew was still in the kitchen. She had asked her to stay there until she knew exactly what was wrong outside. "Can you bring me the paper bag under the fruit bowl please?"
It took a few seconds but as quickly as was humanly possible the teenager emerged from the back door, jumping over the back stairs in lieu of using them and presented Tara with the bag.
"Thank you sweetie." Tara continued with her calm facade as she moved closer to her girlfriend. "Okay baby, I need you to breathe into this for me. It'll slow your breathing down, make it easier." She explained everything she did as she moved closer to Willow. Slowly she moved behind the redhead and pulled the smaller body back and more upright to rest against her. Willow didn't really consent so much as she didn't actively object or move to contradict what Tara was doing as the blonde. With one hand firmly hugging around Willow's body she brought the bag up slowly to place it over the redhead's mouth knowing if she just stayed calm they could get through this.
Tara's hand shook slightly as she took a sip from her glass of iced water. She looked up at Dawn to find brown eyes looking at her. Their gathering in the kitchen was awkward as she knew that Dawn was dealing with the aftermath of this much better than she was.
The teenager had quietly taken everything in her stride as Willow had been calmed down and given one of the sedatives from the supply in the kitchen that seemed to never run out. Just the sight of the small brown pill made the blonde's insides ache more, added to that her having to coax her girlfriend into taking it and she felt completely horrified. Xander had helpfully been there to carry her up to bed to rest, agreeing to sit with her for a short while so that Tara could recompose herself. The toll that the daily episodes were causing was obvious on Tara's face.
"Are you ok?" Tara asked Dawn softly.
"Oh yeah, I'm okay." Dawn nodded. "Are you okay?"
"I…" Tara put the glass down and watched her own hand shake. "No." She looked for a moment at the glass as the water within still rocked slightly and then turned to look at Dawn.
"I know this might sound so horrible of me but you get used to them after awhile." Dawn's voice was ashamed of the admission.
"I will never get used to that." Tara shook her head, her voice was barely a whisper.
"Sorry." Dawn hung her head.
"No Dawn, no, that wasn't a statement against you." Tara reached out and stroked her hand up and down Dawn's arm. "I know that you have done everything you could and that it must have been so hard, you had to find a way to get yourselves and her through the nightmare."
"But we're not through yet are we?" Dawn questioned trying to be brave and not give into feelings of impending doom.
"We're not." Tara admitted her voice even more pained than before.
"I want to help. I'll do whatever it takes." Dawn vowed softly a thread of mature knowing in her voice.
"I know but..." Tara stopped and looked again into brown eyes. "Can you watch her for me?" She said suddenly and the teenager nodded her question unspoken in the air. "I have to do something." She explained. "I have to find a way, something."
'Oh Tara, Tara what are you doing?' Tara thought to herself as she pushed herself gently on the swing that she and Dawn had recently rediscovered. The sun had dimmed slightly and a slight chill had entered the afternoon air. It all seemed fitting after their morning of sunbathing ending in such a mess of confusion and disappointment.
The blonde looked up and watched as a large car drove slowly down the main road. As it disappeared she thought briefly of the conversation she had had with Buffy when she had recently returned.
"I'm not going to run out on her Buffy I promise." She reiterated what she had said to the Slayer then. "But I can't go on like this." She added looked back down at the floor shaking her head sadly. "It's tearing my heart apart." She paused letting the emotion inside her build up slowly to the breaking point it had been threatening to hit for so long.
"No one has deserved any of this." A tear dripped from her cheek onto the sand below. With a sudden flick of her head Tara looked up into the sky.
"DAMN YOU WARREN!" She shouted the words at the top of her lungs causing a small bird that was perched in the bush nearby to fly away startled into the air. "I don't even know you and I hate you." She felt her shoulders drop and begin to shake slightly as she cried more. "I wouldn't be able to pick you out from a class photograph and yet I wish… I wish you'd…"
"Hold that wish." Anya's form melted into existence suddenly and her hand shot out to cover Tara's mouth. "You want to really think about this before you say anything." Tara's blue eyes grew wide as she stared at the suddenly materialised demon. "Sorry I know, Anyanka face but you started with the screaming and the vengeance and well here I am." She smiled through her demon appearance.
"Vengeance?" Tara blinked almost stupidly.
"I told D'Hoffrin the moment you got anywhere close to qualifying for assistance I was to be called first." Anya nodded to the question. "You were just about to wish horrible things on Warren weren't you?"
"No, I was just going to say I wish he'd never..." Tara shook her head and began to explain.
"Hey I told you already to watch that." Anya put her hand out again to stop Tara from finishing. "Wishing is very serious business missy and usually well I don't much care what the outcome is other than some cheating man getting his just desserts but in this circumstance my motivations are different. In a situation like yours a lot of little things are linked together and messing with one thing can have huge ramifications for other things."
"You really are a vengeance demon?" Tara asked, not that she'd doubted it, well yes she had, more because she didn't really believe any such thing existed.
"I am and officially just so you know you and Willow are owed huge payment in the vengeance department." Anya withdrew her hand and moved over to the other swing.
"Are we? But with what Willow did..." Tara frowned she watched Anya sit down.
"Willow enacted her own vengeance." Anya turned in the small seat towards the blonde. "I would have gladly given her any wish just as I will for you but I don't want you wishing anything that you'll regret. Let's say like wishing that Warren had never shot you, because that could lead to heaps of trouble. You see if you didn't get shot then Willow wouldn't have gone all black magic evil and Buffy would be dead instead as Willow wouldn't have had the power to save her."
"Buffy would have died if Willow hadn't done what she did?" Tara checked what the vengeance demon told her.
"It's one of the possibilities yes." Anya nodded. "It was like when Cordelia wished that Buffy had never come to Sunnydale, seems harmless enough but without Buffy then Willow and Xander had become vampires. See the problems?"
"Yes." Tara admitted completely understanding.
"Now see you could say I'll go back further and wish that Glory never did the mind suck thing on you." Anya continued. "But see then the alternative is that Willow never would have weakened her when she put you back together, so Glory would have kicked Buffy's ass and we'd be sitting in a pile of molten Sunnydale. Again much with the problems."
"No, but wait." Tara did her best to think clearly. "Those wishes were all wishing things on other people." Anya nodded seeing that the blonde was catching on. "Can someone wish something on themselves?"
"Mmmm tricky." Anya admitted thoughtfully. "It has to be a wish that satisfies their vengeance you see, I'm not a wish genie. There are rules that have to be followed."
"What kind of rules?" Tara pushed for details as her brain began whirling.
"Mostly that what you wish for has to be directly involved in satisfying your vengeance, taking out your pain on the thing that is causing it." Anya sighed. "There's like a 4000 page manual with all the finer points but that's the basic."
"But what if the thing that directly caused it is already dealt with, can there another focus?" Tara quizzed.
"Do you mean that since Warren's already dead you want to enact vengeance on something else?" Anya questioned now a bit puzzled. "Oh so you know the magic guy Rack who got Willow all hooked is dead too so you can't pick him." She added thinking what angle Tara was using.
"I was thinking more of Willow." Tara looked over to Anya.
"You want to wish vengeance on Willow?" The demon's words were slow and stunned.
"Not on my Willow no." Tara tried to explain more but was cut off.
"Oh I get it, you want to enact vengeance on Dark Evil Willow." Anya smiled and nodded.
"Could it work?" Tara nodded and asked the tentative question.
"This is going to be tricky." Anya contemplated. "She was extremely powerful Tara, you know that right? I mean if you go head to head with her I'm not sure you'd win, no offence."
"I'm not planning on meeting her at all." Tara admitted knowing that even if a show down with her Willow were necessary she wouldn't be able to contain the dark powers.
"Then I'm confused." Anya admitted. "What do you want to do?"
"I want to make things right." Tara replied simply.
"But how do you want to do that?" Anya pushed her for more.
"I want to get into Willow's head, put right what the darkness made wrong." The Wiccan explained her primary goal.
"Oh you want vengeance on the magic." The demon bit her lip in deep thought. "That I can do." She smiled brightly. "I mean I can't guarantee what will happen when you're in there but I can get you there."
"Really?" Tara didn't dare believe anything until she had the demon's word.
"Sure, you want vengeance on the magic. The only way for you to get that is for you to be in Willow's head right?" Anya summed up. "That's the only place it is anymore."
"Though Anya…" Tara hesitated but the demon stopped and waited for her to continue. "This wish, your power, its not magic is it? It's something else entirely, yes?" She pushed.
"Demon." Anya nodded. "Well demon magic per say but that's not normal magic. It's demon specific." She tried to explain. "See things come under four categories: magic, demon, natural and accident. My powers are demon."
"One other thing." Tara pushed off her swing. "People aren't going to like this."
"Doesn't matter, it's your wish." Anya stood up with her.
"I meant more we need to be somewhere that people can't interfere." Tara began making plans and figuring out contingencies in her head.
"We could do it at the Magic box." Anya offered the use of her business. "Well as long as you promise that my shop won't get destroyed this time."
"It shouldn't." Tara tried to give an assured smile.
"Shouldn't?" Anya's eyes narrowed more than a bit worried.
"Won't." Tara reissued the promise.
"Better." Anya nodded. "When do you want to make your wish?"
"As soon as I can." The blonde conceded. If she was going to do this she wanted to get the wish made and finished as soon as possible.
"You need to get Willow to the shop then you can wish." Anya made out the simple plan. "I'm taking it you don't want to tell the others?"
"Believe me, after the morning we've had they're not going to want to hear about this." Tara assured her as they began walking back to the house.
Madalene walked through the front hall admiring the tall cathedral ceilings of the small but beautiful house that the agent was showing them. She had to admit that it was a lovely place and probably the perfect size for one. There was a small family room but a large home office that she imagined would properly suit the division of importance in Giles' life.
"Do you think we'd comfortably fit everyone in here for the meetings?" Giles asked as they strolled back into the small family room.
"I think that it would be to your advantage to make sure it wasn't too comfortable or you might never get a moment to yourself." Madalene smiled at him. "Though I think the price is a bit high." She commented giving a sideways glance to the agent.
"Really?" Giles seemed surprised. "How much do you think I could knock him down?"
"Well considering all of the obvious flaws at least ten thousand." She appraised confidently.
"Obvious flaws?" Giles looked around again having not noticed anything.
"Well..." Madalene winked at the Watcher. "I mean I may be wrong but the stain on the basement floor suggests that flooding might be a problem in the spring and the chimney will need official inspection."
"I think you may have been a housing inspector rather than a lawyer." The Watcher smiled.
"I think I'm just attentive." Madalene laughed at his remark.
"We've managed to avoid the subject so far Madalene, but how was Buffy really when she left?" Giles dropped his voice, the agent seemed to understand they wanted some time and slipped out into the study.
"Very upset." The spellcaster admitted.
"How upset, its just Buffy sometimes has this habit of doing irrational things when she's upset." He explained his position and worry.
"As all of us were she's shocked that Tara would just so aggressively dismiss our idea. Well I think we managed to come with something to help her focus." Madalene smiled softly.
"The patrol?" Giles enquired crossing to the window once more checking the view it offered.
"No, she and I are going to do the spell." Madalene made the admission in a hushed voice.
"Oh." Giles leaned on the window mantle not sure what his reaction should be.
"It's going to take some training for us to be in synch and for her to put up with the pain from the telepathy but she's more than strong enough." Madalene explained the obstacles they faced.
"I could look for ways to help her with the pain." Giles turned slowly his eyes slightly shadowed as he joined the conspiracy.
"What we will need mostly is assistance in balancing the energies, with having to carry Buffy magically it will be more difficult for me to balance as well."
Madalene admitted her own failings.
"Of course." Giles nodded. "You do realise that Tara will not be happy about this, given her objections this morning." He pointed out softly.
"Buffy and I have agreed that perhaps Tara's current state is clouding her judgement slightly. We both know she is only trying to protect Willow but we would never do this if we thought it would hurt her." She tried to reassure him. "If any of us think we are incapable or not ready, I for one will quickly pull back."
"All of which we discussed when we found the spell." Giles reminded the spellcaster. "But that doesn't tell me how we are going to get her to agree with us doing it."
"We didn't particularly account for trying to change her mind Mr. Giles." The spellcaster frowned slightly. "We only want to do what is right and necessary to save Willow."
"I see." Giles paused taking a moment to think. "But how were you thinking of getting to Willow without Tara?" He illustrated his point.
"That will be something we need to figure out." She shrugged. "I have been trying to focus on ways to get Buffy prepared."
"Of course that will take some time, perhaps over time such an opportunity will open itself to us." He aimed for the positive. "Perhaps even Tara will change her mind."
"Time is something we do seem to have." The spellcaster nodded. "But something we don't want to waste."
"We would need to re read the spell, ensure that it would indeed be possible for Buffy to participate." He began to analyse things.
"I think we have a lot of research ahead of us but I do believe it is possible." Madalene agreed easily, she was glad to see the Watcher taking a proactive role in this.
"Now what was that about the basement?" Giles smiled looking at Madalene for her input.
"Willow sweetie." Tara sat on the edge of their bed and reached out to gently stroke the redhead's arm that was resting on top of the sheet. Just behind at her shoulder Dawn stood in sentry.
The redhead seemed to struggle a bit against the sedative they'd been forced to give her but didn't full reach consciousness.
"Come on baby I know you can fight it." She rubbed a little harder.
"Tara?" Willow slurred a bit as green eyes struggled partly open.
"Hey sweetie." Tara leaned in and kissed Willow's cheek softly. "Dawnie and I just wondered if you felt up to a little scenery change."
"I like the trees, they are pretty." Willow's glazed eyes looked at the blonde without truly focusing. "You look like a sexy wood sprite."
"The sedatives sometimes make her a little weird." Dawn whispered from behind the blonde.
"Apparently." Tara gave Dawn a smile, she was feeling the most positive then she had for a long while. "Are my ears pointy?" She asked her girlfriend wondering just how cute the image must be from the redhead's perspective.
"You're a fairy princess of course they are." Willow gave a goofy smile. "Such cute ears... almost as cute as your..."
"Okay sweetie." Tara interrupted hearing the teenager behind her giggle though she'd tried to hide it.
"Well they are." Willow smiled even brighter.
"I know you're very sleepy baby but do you think you're up to maybe coming downstairs with Dawnie and I?" Tara asked the question again softly.
"Sure, I can fly." Willow pushed to sit up.
"I know its terribly boring of me Willow but do you think you could walk, just this once." Tara tried to persuade the redhead into at least partially helping them out.
"Oh alright." Willow gave in and clumsily swung around trying to get closer to the edge of the bed.. "But you know if the frogs come I'm taking off right away, the frog prince is icky."
"Well of course he is, he's a boy and a frog." Tara reassured her as she guided the redhead up to a sitting position.
"And boys are smelly, especially boy frogs." Dawn added moving to one side of Willow to help guide her. Tara gave her a thankful smile as they braced and eased Willow up to stand.
"Hey where we taking Willow?" Xander appeared in the doorway. He was more than surprised to see Dawn and Tara on either side of his best friend who he had expected to be asleep on the bed.
"Xander." Tara's blue eyes widened she had thought the young man was asleep or doing something in the basement that would have kept him out of their way.
"That's me." He grinned knowing something was up now for sure.
"We're taking her out." Tara glanced at Dawn.
"Xander I didn't know you wore tights." Willow giggled as she looked at him her hallucination expanding to include his arrival. "Who let Xander be a fairy?"
"Yeah, we are but it's okay." Dawn nodded.
"Mmmm guys if you haven't noticed Willow isn't on the planet with us. This doesn't strike me as a smart time to take her out for a walk." He looked at Tara seriously.
"Okay." Tara stopped and sighed slightly. She looked up into Xander's dark eyes deciding to just tell him the truth. "We're taking her to the Magic Box."
"For what?" He eyed them suspiciously.
"To make a wish." Tara admitted.
"Anya's going to help Tara fix Willow." Dawn explained trying to make him see there was nothing to worry about.
"No way!" Xander shook his head. "Last time Anya wished anything I turned into a vampire minion."
"I'm not wishing anything on anyone else." Tara assured him shaking her head slightly.
"Yeah but wishes don't work that way, I mean you wish one thing and before you know it we're riding people like ponies and Buffy is a waitress in Denver." The carpenter whined in objection.
"I'm wishing something on myself." Tara pointed out. "The only two people that can be affected are Willow and I."
"No see that's where it can all go wrong, we lose you and Wills." Xander worried more.
"What's the delay?" Suddenly Anya appeared in the bedroom.
"The delay is that I can't believe you're doing this. How can you risk hurting them?" Xander hissed at Anya.
"I'm not hurting anyone." The demon retaliated. "That's your speciality. Mine is making them better."
"Better? How is letting Tara make some cockamamie wish better?" Xander looked at his ex truly unable to believe that she was doing this.
"Tara is going to wish for a fixed period of time to enter Willow's head space and then sort out what has gone wrong. When the time has expired she will be returned to her own body, there is no question of it going wrong." Anya pointed out the facts to him.
"So what does this do to Willow?" He looked over at the slightly disoriented redhead.
"At worst, nothing." Tara replied. "At best helps her find her way home."
"What about Buffy?" Xander questioned feeling himself start to be cornered by their happy logic.
"What about Buffy?" Anya mimicked and then tutted and sighed heavily.
"The Slayer, taker carer of Willow." He turned to her again. "I don't think she's going to be happy about this plan."
"And I didn't think she'd let you run out and leave me on my wedding day but that didn't stop it happening now did it." The demon snarled. "Either help or get out of the way Xander." She added dismissing him. "Run off and find your precious Buffy and ask for her permission to breathe if you must but don't stand in the way here." Tara glanced at the vengeance demon a little horrified by her attack on him.
"I don't like this." He contradicted but stepped back. "But you're going to need a drive." He glared at his ex.
"You don't have to help us Xander." Tara said softly. "I understand, really I do."
"No, if you really think it's going to help Willow." Xander shook his head. "Then how can I say no?"
"I wouldn't be doing it if I thought it could in any way hurt her." Tara pointed out as she let him take her place to help carry the redhead to the car.
-x-
Buffy took a deep relaxing breath as she opened the front door and moved slowly into the hall. Her pursuit and subsequent losing of the mysterious demon had left her feeling spent of excess energy and with another place to focus her emotions on the lost foe.
"Hello?" She called out looking into the dining room first to see that everything was cleaned up.
She was more than a bit surprised when no one called back to her and she moved into the kitchen. Spying a square of purple paper she pulled it off the fridge and read it quickly.
"Oh shopping, they could have waited for me." Buffy read over the note and felt a pang of jealousy. "I guess that leaves me to..." She looked around the empty kitchen. "I guess I can watch TV." She trudged off towards the living room.
"I'm really not sure how you managed to knock twelve thousand off the price." Giles pushed the front door open as he chatted comfortably with the Spellcaster whom he held the door open for.
"I told you Mr. Martin was desperate to make the sale, he would have gone another five if you hadn't of mentioned that you needed to move in immediately." Madalene laughed lightly as she passed through.
"But I do." Giles laughed too.
"Yes, but you don't tell him that." She shook her head. "Remind me when we go Antique shopping that you aren't allowed to talk to the vendors."
"I think it would save me money to do so." He admitted smiling broadly.
"I guess I have that gift." She laughed as she went into the living room. "Hello Buffy." She smiled at the Slayer who was sitting on the couch.
"Oh Buffy I didn't see you for a moment, how was your patrol?" The Watcher enquired.
"Weird demon down by the docks but he got away." Buffy summed up. "So did I hear you found a box?" She grinned happy for him.
"A box?" Giles frowned for a moment. "Oh a house." He keyed in. "Yes, yes I have." He smiled and nodded. "Now you said a demon? Something you've seen before?" He moved straight to business.
"No, about seven feet tall, scaly, long claws and teeth. It was mumbling in some strange gibberish and having a munch on some rotting fish but I don't think it liked them." Buffy gave the information she had.
"Is it worth rallying the troops and doing some research?" Giles asked taking off his glasses and suit jacket to hang it over the back of a chair. "Did it look specifically dangerous?"
"Probably, I mean we can't have a hungry demon running around. If we find out its harmless then we can let it go." Buffy shrugged. "Though the troops left a note, they all went shopping so it's just us doing research for now."
"Oh, well." For a moment Giles seemed surprised. "There's still three of us." He pointed out optimistically.
"It would also give us a chance to discuss our future endeavour." Madalene admitted sitting down.
"Yes." Giles confirmed.
"You told him?" Buffy questioned feeling apprehension creep into her as the Spellcaster nodded.
"Don't worry Buffy." Giles spoke quickly. "For once I can't see a better option." He admitted. "With the severity of her reactions we need to act quickly."
"Well I would rather do this with your help then behind your back." Buffy smiled softly at him.
"But we're going to take our time Buffy." He warned her that this was one condition he wouldn't waiver on. "We're going to do everything right."
"We have too." Buffy nodded thoughtfully as she remembered all her best friend had done for her over the years they owed Willow this.
"But as they are shopping I suggest we have a demon to find." Giles moved over to pick out some books.
Anya glanced around pensively as she pushed yet another chair up to the door of the Magic Box attempting to block the entrance.
"Just how strong is Buffy in a temper?" She asked looking worriedly around the small group.
"Strong." Xander pushed the bookcase over straining with the weight.
"Well thank you for that comforting support." Anya bit sarcastically.
"I'm just telling you the truth." Xander sighed at her attack. "Hello she's going to kick my ass too when she finds out what we're doing here." He added under his breath.
"I'm just doing my job." Anya defended her actions, after all Buffy should understand that she really had no choice. Vengeance was her job.
"How is this getting vengeance on anything?" Xander questioned still not understanding. "There are no boys being disembowelled or snake penises now is there?"
"Magic." Anya pointed out. "Tara is taking vengeance on magic for the damage it has done to her life. Dark magic specifically." She pointed out.
"Would you two hurry up." Dawn came over anxiously. "Willow's pills are going to wear off soon." Anya looked up at the barricaded door and then at the teenager.
"Does that look like it would keep your sister out?" She pointed to the door and the shuttered windows.
"If she thinks Willow is in danger nothing will keep her out, which is why we need to get this done before she knows we're up to anything." Dawn made the logical outline.
"Is Tara ready?" Anya asked looking back to the open door to the training room.
"Yes." Dawn nodded and looked back with her frowning slightly.
"Well we might as well do it then." Anya took a long look around her perfectly tidy and stocked shop before moving towards the back.
"Is there anything else we need to do first?" Xander questioned anxiously.
"It's not like magic Xander." Anya stopped and pointed out. "It's pretty much just wish, action not warm up and then blow up the world."
"What should I do during the action?" Xander rubbed his hands together.
"What the rest of use do." Anya replied as she turned to keep walking.
"Which is?" He jumped on her immediately for more information.
"Watch my shop."
"Oh." Xander dimmed a little as he hung by the wall.
"I'm sorry." Anya apologised her voice suddenly soft. "I understand you want to help, actively help Willow." She admitted turning back to him. "But really this is the best chance she has."
"Okay. Go grant a wish." Xander nodded. "Make it a good one."
Anya nodded and turned walking the rest of the distance through to the back room. The demon hung in the doorway for a moment and watched Tara as she stroked Willow's hair softly talking to the redhead. They had placed a layer of mats in the centre of the room to offer a comfortable location and it was here that they were curled up.
"I love you baby." Tara spelled the letters out on the back of Willow's hand as she whispered them.
"I luv you too." Willow's eyes didn't open and her words were a little slow but she was still aware enough to say them.
"It's nearly time to give in and go to sleep baby, you can stop fighting the medication now." Tara soothed her still rubbing her hand.
"Are the daisies closing their eyes?" She yawned deeply.
"Yes, the sun told them to tuck up tight just a moment ago and the fire flies are just about to light up." Tara played along softly.
"Did you close the door to the treehouse? I feel a draft." She moved a little closer to the blonde's body.
"Do you want me to check it?" Tara let Willow cuddle closer for the comfort she needed.
"Mmmm no, stay." Willow held tight to Tara's hand.
"I bet the squirrels will fix it if it slips." Tara squeezed her lover's hand.
"Good squirrels, fuzzy tails." Willow's words dropped off and she snored lightly. Tara smiled warmly and leaned to kiss her forehead. She carefully spread locks of red hair back off Willow's cheek.
"You don't have to stay in the doorway." She added softly to Anya and the other two she knew were standing there watching.
"We want to make sure you're okay." Dawn admitted coming in a bit closer.
"We're ok." Tara nodded and reached out for the teenager's hand. Dawn moved over and filled it with her own immediately as she knelt down by the pair. "You okay?" She asked looking into brown eyes.
"I just want this over." The teenager admitted.
"Of course." Tara nodded appreciating the young woman's honesty.
"How long will you be there?" She looked at Tara.
"I'm asking for three hours, wishing for three hours." She corrected her terminology.
"That's a long time." Dawn chewed on her lip. "Do you think it will take that long?"
"I'm hoping not but I also don't want to run out of time with no way of getting back in." Tara explained her reasons.
"This is a one time deal." Anya supported that fact.
"Thank you for supporting me in this Dawn." Tara spoke kindly to the youngest Summers. "I know how much trust you are placing in me."
"I love you both." Dawn leaned over to hug her. "Be safe." Tara kissed Dawn's cheek nodding that she would be.
"Ready?" She asked looking up to Anya.
"When you are." Anya's face effortlessly morphed into her demon persona.
"I wish that for three hours, I have the chance to right the wrongs and gain my vengeance over dark magic by sharing my lover's dream space and banishing the darkness that lurks there forever." Tara said breathing in a carefully controlled pattern.
"Wish… granted." Anyanka reached up to her necklace and nodded.
The world seemed to stop as Anya's words echoed over and over before a hard silence filled everything for a moment and then the soft sound of wind filled in the void around her. Soon added to that was the soft hum of fast beating wings as large fireflies zoomed by the blonde, the smiles on their faces met her in pleasant greeting as they waved little legs at her.
The bugs were a thousand times bigger than normal though their happy disposition easily told her that they were of no threat. Slowly the outline of a small wooden window filled in around her, there was no glass and the view looked out through the canopy of a red maple tree out into a lush forest.
As Tara turned the large room cleared into being and the wooden walls, ceiling and floor with its tree rings pointed to the fact she was actually in a tree hollow. In the far corner on a bed of fresh leaves her Willow slept on her stomach, a pair of soft fairy wings curled up to her back.
"Oh my fairy princess." Tara whispered as she took another long look around the serenity around her. She took small steps across the room to the bed reaching out a trembling hand to trace the edge of a gossamer wing.
"Are you coming to bed sweetie?" Willow opened one eye and smiled. "Or are you flirting with the fireflies again?"
"I was just think about how beautiful you are." Tara replied smiling at the slightly pointed tip of ear just visible behind rich red hair. She couldn't resist reaching out to trace over the added flesh.
"I am the second most beautiful fairy in the kingdom." Willow giggled as her ear was tickled.
"Who's first?" Tara grinned running her fingers through silky red locks.
"You of course." Willow pushed up a bit sitting face to face with the blonde. "Princess of the forest." She leaned in and kissed Tara softly.
"You're a princess too." Tara couldn't help melt slightly, though she made her eyes stay alert as she looked around constantly.
"Yes but I'm not the most beautiful." Willow reasoned resting her hand on Tara's thigh, the skin their was tinted on the outsides like her own with a light leaf green colour.
"I think you are." Tara replied placing her hand over Willow's on her thigh.
"The moon is out, we could make magic tonight." Willow nuzzled closer again her lips seeking out Tara's.
"Is that what you want to do?" Tara asked her voice whisper.
"I always want to..." Willow's answer was cut off as a deep hollow thud announced someone at their front door. "I wonder who that is so late." She questioned looking at the cut out entrance in the wood.
"I'll get it." Tara offered willing herself to calm a little and focus after all the visitor might have information to help her with what she was doing.
"Tara, you and Willow have to come to the river." The fairy version of Buffy was standing there though she was dressed in light silver armour and held a miniature sword. "The trolls are attacking."
Tara stepped back and looked at her lover for her to answer the fairy Buffy.
"Of course." Willow got up her wings spreading out behind her.
"Is it bad?" Tara asked looked back at Buffy.
"It's not good." Buffy replied anxiously as she stepped off the branch and began hovering on her shiny red wings. "Giles and Xander are already there."
"Here's your spell bag baby." Willow held out the carefully crafted shoulder bag for her fairy lover.
"Thank you sweetie" Tara took the bag that was carefully made from stitched rose petals each a soft shade of pink, just like her wings as the appendages on her back flutters slightly with the draft coming through the door.
"Let's fly." Willow put on her own bag that was made of stitched white rose petals. Tara nodded ready to follow wherever Willow led as the redhead took her hand and they were soon easing through the thermals of the forest towards the brightly illuminated riverbank. They landed just shy of a small man in a long flowing robe.
"Giles, what's going on?" Buffy landed and questioned immediately.
"Ah Buffy, I see you found Willow and Tara good." The Watcher turned his aged face towards their arrival, long pure white flowing hair moving back over his shoulders. His outline was covered in a burgundy robe and he held a large tome in his arms.
"Bad news!" Xander zoomed in over the high grass towards them. "Bad news!" His speckled green and blue wings fluttered around his naked up body, though he wore long green tights that ended in rounded tips around his toes.
"Xander?" Tara watched as he flew in.
"The trolls are over the rock bridge and are breaking down the summer pavilion." He landed with a bit of a stumble. "Hi Tara, Wills."
"We have to stop them then." Willow jumped in immediately.
"But we need you here." Giles argued stroking his long beard.
"We can't be here hiding if our people need us Giles." Willow shook her head and glanced at Tara for support.
"Perhaps one of you could stay here and one of you come with me. Tara, you could come with me." Xander looked at the two fairy Princesses.
"We all should go." Buffy contradicted. "It's time to teach the trolls a permanent lesson."
"Why are they doing this?" Tara asked looking for a hint as to what was going on.
"They want to take over our world, they aren't happy staying in the Underland anymore." Buffy reminded her with a large amount of anger.
"Please can we hurry." Xander jumped up and hovered.
"It'll be okay sweetie." Willow held out her hand and Tara took it quickly.
"Come on Giles." Xander moved to pick up the wizard as they crossed over the water reeds to another opening in which many fairies and trolls were fighting.
Buffy immediately darted down to fight with them, her sword ready to defend her homeland.
"There's so many of them." Tara glanced down at the many dark figures battling on the ground below them though Buffy was brightly visible in her silver armour.
"They are evil." Willow reached into her spell bag. "We have to stop them."
"Of course." Tara agreed pulling her own bag around to find out just what she had in it.
"What spell?" Willow turned just as the air was filled with a high whistling and a barrage of arrows cut through the forest. Below in her shinning armour the Slayer fell just as a deadly shaft pierced Tara too.
Tara felt the sharp tip piece through her wing and strike her hard in the back. The blow made her tumble forward and fall out of the sky. She could just hear Willow's scream as she plummeted earthward.
As the world tumbled over and over Tara's eye caught sight of two green eyes she knew so well though they were framed in long red hair. She tried to keep her gaze constant but with the tumbling and turning she found it impossible and by the time she could focus again the green eyes were gone as with a hard thud she hit the ground.
"I'm going to kick every square inch of your ass." A hollow angry version of Willow's voice broke the air as the sound of fighting erupted and a moment later the Slayer's battered form landed in the dust next to Tara.
"Will, please." Buffy coughed hard as she flipped over.
"No!" Willow growled as she stomped over and attempted to kick Buffy in the side but the Slayer rolled away.
"Why are you angry with me?" Tara heard the Slayer ask the desperate question as she tried to get her bearings in the new harsh world, it was such a stark contrast to the forest that even with the war that was waging there she wished she could have stayed with Princess Willow longer.
"You let her die!" Willow did a twirl in the air for a kick that Buffy first blocked but then a head butt caught the Slayer by surprise. "You saved everyone else but you let her die!"
"I didn't know she was in danger." Buffy defended shaking her head to let the blood drip freely from her bleeding nose.
"You were too busy riding Spike." Willow backed up and floated off the ground. "Was it good Buffy? Was it good to be used and soiled? Did it make all I did to save you worth it?"
"I was confused." Buffy's voice was smaller, more beaten. "I'm sorry Willow."
The world did a sudden three sixty from the dark and burnt surroundings to one of pure white overhead lights and bright clean tiles.
"BUFFY, DON'T LEAVE ME!" Willow screamed herself hoarse as she was pulled back from a doorway towards an awaiting stretcher.
Tara looked up but she did so with the Slayer's eyes. Sad eyes that met with Willow's wide green ones, eyes that took in the small hands that reached out towards her pleading, begging, desperate to be filled and saved.
"Don't let them take me, I'll be good, I can be good. Please let me be good." Willow wailed as her tiny body was lifted up and forced down into the bed. Her hands were tied down first and then her flailing legs were bound as well.
"I'm sorry Willow." Tara heard the words come out in Buffy's voice though she felt the exertion of saying them on her lips. She shivered as hard tears fall from the Slayers eyes to spill down her cheeks but then again, just in the corner of her vision, she caught a fan of red hair and she turned her head sharply.
"Tara! Tara baby! Help me! TARAAA!" Willow's screams got further away as the bed was wheeled back.
Torn between following the gurney and the image that had caught her attention, Tara took two steps after the nurses first and as she did again heading for the shadows she caught sight of a slim figure.
"Whoever you are you don't belong here." A soft familiar voice whispered to her. "Go before it gets worse." A twirl of red exited through a doorway.
"I can't I'm here to…" Tara's voice drifted as she looked around and found herself in a different place again. "Help." She added to the air.
"Get out of my way Xander." Willow cursed as she raised her arms again and a dark pillar of magic flowed out of her towards a nearby statue. "You can't stop me, all this pain, all of it will end."
"Oh Goddess Willow baby." Tara shuffled forward in the dreamscape to get a better look at what was happening.
"All of it will stop..." Willow's dark eyes started to cry. "All of the agony, all of the pain, all of the despair... all of it will stop. I have to make it stop."
"There are other ways." The dark haired man offered softly.
Tara merely focused on her lover or what she took to be her lover as the overwhelming darkness nearly made her hard to recognise.
"There is no way, only this." Willow focused more into the spell and ignored his approach.
"Tara wouldn't want this." Xander put forward stepping in to stop the beam.
"AHHHH!" Willow lashed out and gashes appeared on his face and across his chest. Tara watched in horror as Xander reached up his hand to hold against his bleeding face.
"Don't make it end this way." He shook his head at her trying to ignore the pain.
"It gets worse." The ethereal voice broke in again to call to Tara. "You should go now."
Tara's head snapped round trying to pinpoint the voice.
"I'm not going anywhere." She called knowing her voice wouldn't change the scene that played out in all its agony before her.
"Don't say I didn't warn you." The voice faded out again.
"I'm not going until things change." She called out in explanation this time catching a glimpse of a sneaker as a figure hurried out of sight.
"Oh they will change." The voice warned as a curtain of dark covered the scene and it was obvious again that she was in a forest, though it was not a magical place.
In a hurried dash, Willow came running into Tara's vision and tripped on a root in the dark landing face down in the leaves.
"Please, please leave me alone." She begged pushing up to her feet again.
Tara looked over Willow's fallen body into the darkness beyond screwing her eyes up a little tying to peer into the thick blackness to see what it was that her lover was fleeing from. Again there was a glimpse of red hair and green eyes but nothing more.
"No, no." Willow pushed forward blindly trying to flee and her struggle made Tara reach down to her.
"Baby." She offered wondering if she could interact within this place.
"Tara, oh baby we have to run." Willow grabbed at her lover's hand and pulled the blonde to her. "We have to... Oh God it's coming." She tugged harder. "I can't stop it. I can't control it."
"What is?" Tara pushed for details as she felt her feet shuffle forward and then be pushed into a run.
"Me." Willow's face was full of absolute pure horror.
"Maybe we shouldn't run." Tara pointed out as she narrowly missed pitching face forward over a tree branch.
"No, I'm evil. I'm crazy, I'll hurt you." Willow tried to pull her harder. "Please baby, please we have to go."
"I don't believe you'd ever hurt me." Tara started to run again as she regained her foothold.
"I didn't mean too, it was the magic..." The world faded away again and Willow's voice wasn't right next to her anymore but instead across their bedroom.
"Are you still mad?" Willow turned back towards their bed with a small dried flower in her hands.
"Mad?" Tara felt a little dizzy and disorientated and was glad she was lying down now as the room settled in around her.
"Oh nothing." Willow smiled and moved over to get into bed.
Tara glanced around, everything looked some how similar and yet at the same time the Wicca couldn't remember any of it. As soon as the redhead was in the bed beside her Tara snuggled up to her, feeling like it was the most natural thing in the world. It was at that moment, as Willow's arm came around to hold her that the sound of soft crying could be heard at the end of the bed.
"Why? Why did I do it?" Another tired and tear stained Willow was kneeled sobbing more as she too watched the scene of them in bed.
"Oh your feet are…" Tara began but stopped pushing up out of her lover's arms to look confused at the second Willow at the end of the bed.
"I didn't have too, I just had to admit I had a problem. She would have forgiven me. She would have helped me get better." Willow prayed at the end of the bed as if it was an altar to her own salvation.
Tara pulled the sheet back and stepped out of the bed finding it so hard to see her Willow in so much pain.
"Do what Willow? What did you do?" She asked glancing back at the other Willow in the bed who lay on her side with a slightly smug expression on her face.
"I was scared, scared of losing you but what I did was what made you leave me." Willow sobbed more throwing her hands out onto the bed.
"Leave you?" Tara felt her voice stumble over the words.
"I never meant to hurt you... I never meant to make you forget." Willow buried her head into the comforter sobbing louder.
Tara looked around almost slightly panicked and as she did the bedroom door banged slightly as if someone had just hurried out of it. She made an instant decision and pushed herself to the door, Tara pulled it open roughly catching sight of a sock covered leg and again a brightly coloured sneaker as they disappeared around the corner.
At the same time she came face to face with herself coming down the hall, the second Tara passing through her as if she was just a ghost. She wore a long dark leather coat and her hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail.
"Things fall apart." Her own voice began and she felt compelled to follow herself back as she heard her words continuing. "They fall apart so hard..."
She passed through her clone into the room to see that Willow was calm and sitting on the bed in a different outfit staring at her figure in the doorway.
"Tara?" The redhead spoke as if surprised to see her.
"You can't ever put them back the way they were." The other Tara continued.
"Are you okay?" Willow enquired nervously and shifted her position on the bed to sit on her hands.
"I'm sorry, it's just, you know, it takes time." The other Tara stepped fully into the room. "You can't just ... have coffee and expect." She watched as Willow Dropped her gaze and whispered.
" I know." Willow's gaze dropped.
"There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again, on both sides… You have to learn if... if we're even the same people we were, if you can fit in each other's lives. It's a long... important process, and ... can we just skip it? Can-can you just be kissing me now?"
Tara watched from the doorway as Willow pushed up from the bed and crossed to her other self. There was something so beautiful and yet so sad about the way the two kissed. So needy and so desperate as if their separation had been long and painful.
In an instant the somewhat loving scene turned as if a watershed of blood had covered over her vision and all the love was instantly lost.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Willow cradled Tara's dead body in her arms. "NOOOOOOOOO!" Her eyes went a deep red. "Please baby, please." She sobbed.
Tara found that she could view this scene from anywhere in the room as if there was no fix for her form or outlook but the pain, misery and anger didn't look any different from whichever angle it was viewed.
"It gets bad after this, you really should go." The little voice urged her. "She's almost at the split, please just go."
"Who are you?" Tara turned away form the nightmare vision looking around. "Why do you hide yourself running round in shadows?"
"You don't know me." The voice pulled at Tara to go back into the hall as the squeak of a sneaker passed by.
Tara instantly pushed to follow, she couldn't watch what the dream was showing her there had to be something else to see.
"Do you know me?" She pushed.
"Of course." The voice moved off further as the hallway melted into something much different. The walls were lined with tall metal lockers and before long Tara was faced with a pair of wooden doors that read Sunnydale High Library above them.
"How do you know me, I've never been here." Tara frowned looking to find out where the shadow had gone now.
"Easy." The doors opened slowly and back further in by the long central table a young slim figure stood waiting. Her dark red hair was long and cut off bluntly. She worse white and red sneakers with tall white knee socks under a pattered wool skirt. A white shirt and knit red sweater vest finished out her conservative outfit. "I'm Willow Rosenberg." She stated softly.
"Willow?" Tara gasped in surprise. "When? Where? How old are you?" She managed to ask as she looked around the library.
"I'm sixteen." Willow reached up and flicked her hair over her shoulder.
"Why are you here?" Tara asked softly.
"I'm always here." Willow shrugged.
"Oh of course." Tara shook her head at her own silly question. "Do you know what's happened?"
"The magic." Willow frowned so hard it pulled to make her eyes sad.
As Tara opened her mouth to ask another question the edges of the library seemed to shake a little or blur catching her attention and dragging it away slightly.
"You really have to go." The younger Willow rushed forward. "The magic comes and then everything is hard to control. You're not safe."
"But Willow I came to save her, to save you." Tara shook her head.
"You can't." Willow shook her head frowning more. "It's getting worse." She looked around scared. "I can't keep it from growing."
"Willow, please I want to help you." Tara reached out for the young hand, but it was obvious from the way the redhead was backing off that she wasn't going to take it as the darkness at the edges of the rooms grew into thick borders of nothingness.
"No, you have to go please." Willow did back off just as Tara expected her too. "It gets so dark." She turned and ran up the stairs towards the stacks of books.
"But I can be your light Willow." Tara called but suddenly the whole room seemed to spin into a vortex of darkness and books. It went around and around like a tornado of destruction dragging Tara into the centre.
Madalene wasn't sure if research time was always this long and arduous but as she flipped to another page in the massive encyclopaedia of demons she was somehow sure that it was. Her brain had slowed a little, the back portion of it focused on just what she and Buffy were going to have to do to complete the spell without Tara's help though she hoped by the end they might be able to get her cousin's consent.
"Wait, jupiterman." She exclaimed as she looked over the passage on the page in front of her again.
"Jupiterman?" Giles looked up from his text and his eyebrow crooked up in inquiry.
"Jupiterman." Madalene flipped back a page and held up the charcoal drawing to see if Buffy recognised it. "A demon who first was sighted during a celestial time when Jupiter was visible in the night sky. People mistakenly thought it was from outer space but it actually arrives from a temporal phenomena caused by a rare alignment in Jupiter's orbital pull that opens up a temporary dimensional shift."
"Yeah that's the ugly thing." Buffy nodded at the picture. "Big teeth, tall and scaly."
"Oh now let me see, I remember something about that." Giles tapped his fingers on the back of his book for a moment clearly thinking hard. He leaned forward and picked up another book and flicked through it, opening on a page that's title was:
'Little Green men, not little, not green, and certainly not men.'
"At the time this article was written of course it was believed the devastation caused was Extraterrestrial in nature." Giles tapped the page as he passed the book to Buffy. "But eyewitness accounts spoke of a tall scaled beast."
"You're telling me I have an alien in Sunnydale?" Buffy took the book and gave a slight grin.
"You have the demon equivalent of one." Madalene laughed lightly.
"Unlike many of the demons you encounter Buffy." Giles began after giving Madalene what could only be called a tolerant smile for her comment. "The Galgora or jupiterman demon does not belong here." He went on to explain. "Now as I know you know demons once ruled this plain but even when they did, the Galgora demon wasn't here."
"Is it going to spit acid or try to lay eggs in peoples chests?" Buffy questioned thinking back to the movies with a shiver.
"No, it's going to rip the town apart looking for something to eat." Giles summed up sadly.
"What does it eat?" Buffy looked at him worried at what the answer was going to be.
"Well there's the problem." Giles motioned to the chapter in Madalene's book. "No one knows. They're not from here, not even originally, so it's highly unlikely that anything here would be 'food' for them."
"There are references to it grazing on a number of things but never one thing it focused on particularly." Madalene added in agreement to the Watcher.
"So the likely assumption is that sooner or later it's going to start eating people?" Buffy questioned them and wasn't surprised to see him nod.
"There's a particularly gruesome account of a visit from a Galgora that tells of how it feasted on the children of a village one night. There were only two children left by the morning." He recounted sadly.
"Nothing feasts on the children of my village." Buffy stood up her hands on her hips. "Or my town or whatever. How do I kill it?"
"Well thankfully for it and us it doesn't know that children are good as a light snack or at least I assume it hasn't discovered that fact yet. You saw it by the docks yes?" Giles checked the details of the encounter.
"Munching unhappily on some rotting fish by-products." Buffy filled in again. "I lost it between the crates, it moves fast for a big ugly."
"It will be resting then, indigestion slows anything down." Giles made an attempt at humour.
"Or it'll be at the pharmacy looking for Galgora Pepto-Bismol." Madalene smiled at him.
"And I kill it how?" Buffy called them both back to attention.
"Mmmmm you don't." Madalene frowned slightly. "It's not really from this dimension."
"So it's here now, that means I kill it." Buffy pointed out. "It's what I do." Madalene looked at Giles wondering if he wanted to field the specifics.
"What Madalene means is that really the ideal would be to send it back to its own dimension." Giles pointed out what they were facing.
"How do I do that?" Buffy sat back down.
"You can't." Giles frowned.
"It will be naturally returned when Jupiter leaves the night sky as the dimensional anomaly finishes." Madalene followed up his statement making a quick calculation.
"What you need to do is keep it alive until then." The Watcher explained. "And of course prevent it from harming anyone."
"I have to keep it alive? Why would I bother doing that?" Buffy stared at him. "I mean if some vamp or other demon kills it what do I care?"
"In the dimension it exist," Giles pointed again to Madalene's book, "This demon is a 'good guy'."
"It would be like you being thrown into another dimension cause of an anomaly and them killing you, big problems here when you don't come back." Madalene nodded softly.
"Or more accurately like Xander being placed in that scenario." Giles clarified.
"Well yes." Madalene turned to him accepting the correction "And Jupiter will only be with us another two days." She smiled encouragingly.
"I'm baby sitting a demon Xander for two days?" Buffy arched her eyebrows high.
"Optimally if we can capture it and keep it somewhere safe?" The Spellcaster suggested.
"I suppose we could rig up some kind of holding cell in the magic box." Giles nodded thoughtfully at Madalene's suggested.
"I can attempt a magic containment as well, maybe lull it into a content state so it doesn't hurt itself trying to escape." She followed with his thinking. "We want to keep it as comfortable as possible maybe distract it from being so hungry."
"So now we're a demon rescue squad." Buffy sighed and her body posture dropped. "Great."
"It has to be better than it spitting acid at you?" Madalene tried to make her perk up.
"And you won't have to shave your hair off." Giles nodded.
"Enough, enough." Buffy put up her hands. "You two are getting far too chummy." She pouted. "Before you know it you'll be off spending my money like Dawn and Willow..." Buffy stopped short of finishing. "Hang on." She frowned.
The Slayer got up and crossed to the front door, neatly on the table beside it was a wallet and a pair of sunglasses. She picked up the wallet and turned to Madalene and Giles.
"Mads, did you give Dawn money this morning?" She asked slowly knowing it was probably an odd question. The Spellcaster shook her head. "Giles did you?" She turned her gaze to the Watcher.
"I assumed you'd want to have direct control over her allowance." He answered the question directly.
"I do and she doesn't have one at the moment." Buffy stated her frown deepening.
"But you said they went shopping?" Madalene leaned forward her shoulders growing stiff as Buffy stalked back into the room, picking up the note and scanning it over.
"This says that they did, but this." She waved Xander's wallet. "Suggests we've been lied to." She tossed it angrily on the tabletop.
"But why would…" Giles looked down and glanced at the note checking the handwriting was the Wiccan's. "Tara lie to us?"
"You tell me." Buffy snapped the anger she had felt earlier rising easily to the surface. "Why would she refuse to even read the spell we'd found to help Willow? Why would she take Willow out for a tour around town? Why would she do anything when she can barely walk herself?" Buffy continued getting more and more worried. "God why isn't this ever easy." She sighed angrily
"I think the first thing we need to do is find them all and make sure they are safe." Madalene stood up slipping her shoulder bag on. "Then we can yell at them."
"Oh I'm gonna yell." Buffy underlined she grabbed her keys and strode to the door.
"How long has it been?" Xander paced nervously down one wall of the training room.
"An hour." Anya paced opposite to him. "Two hours left."
"Does she have to be in there the full three hours?" Dawn asked the vengeance demon from her chair near the sleeping pair.
"No, if anything goes wrong it will throw her out." Anya stopped her pacing for a moment.
"Goes wrong?" Dawnie stared at her horrified.
"She put in a safeguard so that if anything negative happens to her or Willow the wish stops." The demon explained. "She thought it all out, don't worry."
"Oh we might not have to worry about that, but there is that other worrisome little matter." Xander piped up from the doorway. " Y." He spelled out.
"Stop doing that." Anya snapped at him. "We all know she can come and kill us all." She stopped and smiled. "Wait well she can't kill me but you are in mortal danger."
"She won't kill anyone." Dawn sighed flustered at their childishness. "She'll just be disappointed and lay the huge thick guilt on us."
"I hate the guilt thing." Anya whined.
"Me too." Dawn admitted as she sunk lower in her chair.
"Yeah but if she fixes Willow then Buffy will be to excited to guilt us right?"
Xander tried to be positive.
"Is it going to be like that?" Dawn queried not that optimistic. "You know super instant fix?"
"I don't know." Anya shook her head and went over to sit next to Dawn. "She wanted revenge on the dark magic, I don't know if that will make Willow well again."
"I still don't get why she just didn't go along with the spell this morning." Xander shook his head and walked slowly over to where Dawn sat to lean behind her chair.
"Anyone want to play eye spy?" Anya offered picking at her fingernails.
When the tornado was over, it was clear to Tara that she was 'not in Kansas anymore' or the high school library to be specific. The sky was blue and clear, the sun was hot and bright and there was very little in the way of breeze but just as she was able to focus on her surroundings the blue skies were pulled away.
"Not yet little girl." A firm male voice made the world shift again so that Tara was standing in the broken remains of the Magic Box.
"What do you think you can do to me?" Dark Willow paced under Giles who was pinned to the ceiling like a squished fly.
"Look at you, you think I was doing anything but playing with you? HA!" She flicked her hand and he slammed down into the floor before going upwards again. "Now let's see what you can give me old man." She let him come down again hard before she stood over him and put her hand down to his chest. "Let's see for once what you can actually give me that I need."
Power began to stream out of Giles' body and into Willow but where no one else had been present to see what was happening Tara now saw what Willow had, saw exactly what that moment had brought.
Throbbing light poured out of the Watcher engulfing Willow, filling her so full that magic seeped out her skin before it simply reabsorbed into another part of her body only to soak out again.
She breathed in magic and she panted it out. Magic was every sound, every sight, and every touch across her skin.
Willow's body stumbled back, she slid down the edge of the counter so she landed sitting on the floor. She tried to adjust to it, attempted to fully comprehend the cracks and sparkles of consciousness being show to her.
A baby was crying in the dark somewhere.
The soft sound of rain falling in a tropical forest came like the melody of a sweet song.
The gentle footsteps of a penguin across the Antarctic snow.
But then it changed, then the rest came.
Gunfire was pounding out of a million deadly weapons.
Screams from a billion voices.
The pang of deep never ending starvation in so many bellies they could never be filled.
Then came the weeping, the constant aching weeping.
"I have to make it stop." Willow's dark eyes looked up to where Tara stood. "I have to make it all stop."
With Willow's words the blue skies and tranquil setting once again became the reality. Though the serenity again only stayed for a moment before a blood-curdling scream broke the serenity. The scream made Tara look around quickly.
"NOOOOO!" Willow wailed suddenly breaking out of Buffy's grip to throw her arms around the edge of the steel coffin that had began its descent into the ground. "No, you can't put her there."
Tara had to take a step backwards as the reality of this nightmare scene hit home.
"Will!" The Slayer jumped forward reaching for the redhead's arm.
"Willow." Dawn's dipped head tipped up in horror, thick tears coursing down her cheeks.
"No, no." Willow wretched her arms away again as she gripped onto the side handle. "I won't let her go... you can't make me." The sky above their heads turned a deep red colour.
"Oh God no Willow." Xander threw a panicked look in Giles' direction but her boldly took a step forward to help Buffy.
"Why are you doing this?" She screamed at them as she scrambled away around one side. The sky flashed again to a deep purple as the horizon seemed to bleed in with the landscape.
"She's dead Willow, she's gone." Buffy tried a softer approach. "This is the right thing to be doing." She tried to keep calm though her instincts were fighting to take over and just take Willow down before she could hurt herself.
"Don't punish me like this." Willow shook her head as the casket slipped down a bit further. "I'll be good, I promise to be good now." She clawed her hands over the shiny top of the metal. "Just give her back."
A hard dark oily rain began pelting down on them all but no one other than Willow seemed to notice as her hair became wet and dripped down over the dark dress she was wearing. Tara backed up a little, tears filling her eyes. Everyone's pain, loss and emptiness pressed upon almost like a tangible force.
"I came back." Tara called into the scene desperate to change it.
"It's not the pain that's important." The little voice whispered to her again.
"Willow?" Tara flicked her head round hoping to see the younger redhead.
"Look closer." The teenager was stood behind a grey tree nearby, her face only partially visible.
"Look closer at what?" Tara asked for direction glancing between the partially hidden teenager and the funeral scene.
"At the magic." She encouraged in a frightened whisper.
"How can I see the magic?" Tara frowned shaking her head and the sky erupted again in bolts of lightening as the world was bright and harshly lit before all the shadows began to grow.
"Look at me." The young Willow encouraged with a shaky hand as by the almost lowered casket Willow was being pulled back forcibly by Xander and Buffy before she could pitch herself down into the grave to join her dead girlfriend.
A line of white liquid streamed out of her nose curling around her lip before dripping off her cheek. At the same time a line of dark seeped out of her left ear falling down her chin line coming around to melt into the white.
"What's happening to her?" Tara moved forward her eyes transfixed as Buffy and Xander pulled Willow's back to the small area of seating. Though as they did they left behind almost a shadow of the redhead but the shadow was like a negative of her true form. It was made up of only dark and light, with no colour and nothing about it was solid as the image was fluidly shifting in and around itself.
"Everything has magic in it, just a little tiny spark that gives it life." The younger Willow's voice shook. "She's almost empty."
The magic continued to flow from the older Willow as the child spoke adding form and dimension to the shadow turning it into less of a ghost and into more of a recognisable copy of Tara's beloved redhead.
"A tiny spark gets lost when it is in an lightening storm."
"Willow's magic was separated form her physical." Tara theorised as all that she was being seen connected to what Madalene had said during the short fight with Giles. "Completely separated."
The blonde's eyes went wider as she shifted her gaze from the black and white Willow to the colour one. She noticed that though perfect at first glance, the second 'real' Willow wasn't solid there were tiny gaps in the colour.
"The two aren't meant to exist apart." She extended her theory as she drew closer still.
"How can magic exist without life?" The young Willow questioned back in answer to Tara's words. "How can life exist without magic?"
"But if we all have this magic, why aren't we all magicians? Why are only some people magic users?" Tara questioned herself rather than the teenager. "What prevents everyone tapping their magical energy?" She pushed her thoughts finally thinking she may be closer to an answer to Willow's problems
"I don't know, all I can do is float a pencil." The younger Willow seemed to give up on the debate sadly as she moved away and started walked towards the horizon.
Tara's train of thought was derailed slightly as the teenager spoke and even though the teenager's footfalls were silent Tara could tell that she was moving away from her.
"Willow wait." She turned around quickly feeling the world shift again.
Buffy looked at the locked door before moving over to peer in between the slated blinds of the front window of the Magic Box. Giles and Madalene stood behind her watching her agitated state.
"I swear they are in there." She banged on the door again ignoring the little 'We're closed, Please come again' sign. "OPEN THE DOOR!" She yelled again.
"They might have actually gone shopping after all." Giles stood back a little from the scene the Slayer was making trying to inject a little calm suggestion.
"OPEN THE DOOR!" Buffy ignored him and screamed again.
"Buffy, perhaps a less aggressive approach." Giles tried again.
"Xander, Anya open the door or I'm going to kill you both." Buffy yelled in a slightly calmer voice.
"Buffy?" Xander's slightly shaking voice called back through the door after the softer words.
"Xander no!" Dawn and Anya's voices both sounded alarmed that he'd blown their cover.
"Xander, I know you're in there." Buffy stopped banging. "Open the door now."
"I am here." Xander agreed with her appraisal. "But I can't let you in."
"Is everyone in there with you?" Buffy checked wanting to make sure that they were at least all in the same place.
"Everyone's safe." Xander called back cagily.
"Are you being held hostage?" She questioned before turning to Giles. "They better damn well hope they are cause if not I'll kill them."
"Hostage?" The squeak that came from behind the door was Anya's. "No one takes hostages in my shop."
"Xander, open the door." Buffy tried the handle again.
"Buffy." Giles warned as she twisted it almost to the breaking point.
"Please don't break my shop." Anya suddenly appeared out in the street with the three of them.
"Then open the door." Buffy turned and growled at her.
"If you go away again and come back in about an hour, we'll let you in." The demon said brightly trying to play down the situation.
"What are you doing in there?" Buffy pushed the demon for answers. "I want to see Willow and Tara."
"Well you wouldn't believe me if I said we were preparing a party now would you?" She tried a little diversionary tactics.
"Anya, please don't push me right now." Buffy almost lunged at her but managed to hold herself in check.
"I can push you all I want because I can do this." Anya zipped out of existence reappearing inside the shop. "Na na na na naa." She called mockingly.
"I'm ok Buffy." Dawn called out through the door, scowling at Anya's childish act.
"Dawn, I'm coming to get you." Buffy was relieved to hear that her sister was safe, though she wasn't sure how pleased she was knowing the teenager had a role in all of this. "And you might be able to do that Anya but I can do this." She stepped back and spun kick at the door making it rattle on its hinges. "You want to see who gets tired first?"
"Dawn, what's going on?" Madalene stepped close to the glass looking in at the sliver of the teenager she could see. "Are you okay?" The teenager pressed her face to the window so that she could see the Spellcaster.
"Tara made a wish." Dawn tried explaining to Madalene knowing that her sister was unreachable.
"To do what?" Madalene questioned but jumped as Buffy kicked the door again making it rattle more as it started to splinter within the frame.
"I'm letting her in." Xander's voice cut through the noise and a hand fumbled at the locks.
"That's a smart man." Buffy waited to pounce the minute the door opened.
"Don't you dare!" Anya screeched and through the door the sound of her launching at him could clearly be heard as a scuffle ensued.
"Dawn, open the door please." Madalene encouraged the teenager.
"I can't, Anya's right Madalene if you come back in an hour we'll let you in." She whined a little stepping away as Anya and Xander scuffled
"What is going on?" Madalene winced as the Slayer winded up for another kick.
"I told you, Tara made a wish." Dawn stressed her face coming back to the window.
"Made a wish to do what?" Madalene questioned a fraction before the Slayer hit the door and the first of the locks gave way.
"A vengeance wish." The teenager barely whispered the words but they the weight of them made everyone hear them.
"ANYA YOU GRANTED A VENGEANCE WISH!" Buffy kicked the door again as it rattled out of its spot and leaned against the chairs and box piled behind it.
"It's my job." Anya bit back looking up from her arm wrestle with Xander at the flash of Slayer.
"Your job?" Buffy pushed the door and manhandled it out of the way so she was standing in the doorway looking down at them.
"I am a vengeance demon." Anya let go of Xander and stared at Buffy as she stood up and righted her skirt.
"She made me help them." Xander whined from his spot on the floor.
"Yes, you're a vengeance demon who likes to kill boys who cheat on their girlfriends." Buffy kicked a box out of the way. "Since when does that include Tara and Willow?"
"They have had great wrongs done against them." Anya pointed out. "And Hallie said I should diversify."
"Did you have to pick now?" Buffy pushed forward with Mads and Giles following in after her.
"Someone had to do something." Anya snipped.
"What have you done exactly?" Buffy questioned again hoping to get a specific answer. Dawn scurried away towards the closed back door of the training room.
"I granted a wish" Anya replied hastily.
"What wish?" She pushed.
"Tara's wish."
"What did Tara wish?" Buffy gritted her teeth getting thoroughly fed up with the run around.
"I really suggest that there is a desperate need for some information exchange here." Giles prompted the two of them to behave.
"Oh stop being so British." Anya turned and snapped at him much to his surprise.
"Maybe we should all just calm down and not kill anyone." Xander pushed up to stand as he made the gentle suggestion.
"I don't care what she wished, it ends now." Buffy stalked towards the back having easily figured out that was where Tara and Willow must be.
"Actually no, she has about an hour left." Anya winked out of existence and winked back in front of the closed door her arms folded cross her chest.
"Anya, I don't care what she has left. I'm taking both of them home." Buffy stopped and stared at the demon that was now in her way.
"This is one little Hellmouth event that the Slayer can't interfere in." Anya shook her head.
"Don't make me move you." Buffy growled the warning.
"You've been waiting for this moment haven't you, all the while I was a human, all the time I spent loving him." Anya pointed angrily at Xander. "You never liked me, You always thought I was a demon and never to be trusted but I was a human and you couldn't touch me."
"What the hell does any of that have to do with this?" Buffy looked at her incredulously.
"When Xander left me I never had a chance of having any of you on my side." Anya accused with a hard frown.
"I told you I didn't agree with him, we tried to help you but you went straight to D'Hoffrin and right back to demonland." The Slayer fought back.
"You were happy Xander left me." Anya stared nose to nose at the Slayer.
"What? Are you insane?" Buffy almost laughed. "You were my light, I was going to watch you guys walk into the sunset all happy and with the forever and then you two go and screw even that up on me."
"Me, me, me." Anya scowled. "Its always about you isn't it?"
"STOP IT." The clear harsh call came from Dawn who stood staring at both women in disbelieve. They both looked at her stung by her sudden interruption. "Tara is in there trying her hardest to save Willow and you two are here bitching at each other like little bratty kids." The teenager pointed to the door.
"But..." Buffy tried to object but Dawn's look cut her off.
"She..." Anya pointed at Buffy and then slumped.
"Last night…" Dawn began looking around at everyone deciding that people needed to at least share all the information they had before being allowed to react in any way. "Tara had a dream." The teenager looked at Madalene and seeing the Spellcaster's gentle nod to continue she took a breath. "A dream about the spell. Not that she knew anything about it but it was a nightmare, really bad I think and then this morning the set up you guys had, it was exactly the same as her dream."
"She had a dream about the spell before she knew anything about it?"
Madalene questioned her face going pale as Dawn nodded.
"In full detail, even down to the colour sand and type of incense that was burning." Dawn shared with them the details Tara had fleshed out earlier in the bathroom.
"And it went badly?" The Spellcaster walked over to the small bench and sat down.
"I think…" She paused knowing that these were the details that Tara had been sketchier with but that she was sure were still accurate. "I think Willow killed you." She bit her lip pained by the words. "And hurt Tara."
"But she couldn't have known about the spell, Mads didn't think of it until this morning and we didn't even know it existed for sure until Giles got the book." Buffy objected to the idea even knowing that Dawn's words made her argument pointless. No matter how unlikely, Tara had dreamt about the spell and it had all gone horribly wrong.
"The poor girl." Giles whispered sadly.
The Spellcaster blanched even more at the idea that she could have possibly brought about all their destructions.
"What did she wish in detail?" Buffy asked for the first time in a gentle tone.
"She wished that for three hours, she would have the chance to right the wrongs and gain her vengeance over dark magic by sharing Willow's dream space and banishing the darkness forever." Anya repeated Tara's wish as she too calmed.
"Why do I get the overwhelming feeling that this could all go really bad?" Buffy put a hand up to her head.
"It can't, Tara made sure of that." Anya shook her head. "The worst thing that could happen is that there will be no change."
"Do you watch these scenes every time?" Tara whispered as she followed the retreating teenager through the blur only to have the scenery change again to take on the setting of the library for a second time.
"Mostly." The younger Willow walked over and sat down at the table opening a book that was there.
"I'm sorry." Tara whispered feeling the sadness within the younger girl.
"Why are you here?" She looked up blinking at Tara from her place.
"I'm here to help, to try and help." Tara replied softy she eased herself down onto a chair at the table
"I don't know how you are going to do that." Willow shook her head with long red hair moving in waves around her shoulders. "It just keeps getting worse and worse."
"As the division between the physical tries to compensate for the lack of the magical." Tara considered what she had been shown so far.
"The holes are getting bigger and bigger." Willow nodded that she was right.
"There has to be away to merge the two again but such that the physical cannot use the magical." Tara pressed her fingers to her forehead and pressed against it hard.
"How can you keep two things like that apart?" Willow blinked at her not understanding.
"Maybe if the magic was reintegrated but sealed." Tara tried to think harder. "Or maybe…" She stopped suddenly and looked at the teenager close to her. "You said before you could float a pencil."
"Yeah pretty lame eh?" Willow smiled and cocked her head to the side. "Giles won't let me do any real spells yet, he says its too dangerous or something."
"No, no actually it's perfectly wonderful." Tara couldn't help but smile. "Innocence." She whispered as she looked deep into bright but sad green eyes.
"Innocence?" Willow looked back at her giving a cute confused look.
"Of course." Tara smiled tenderly at Willow.
"If Xander was here he'd tell you about the time when we were younger that he asked me to play doctor and I went and got a white coat and a stethoscope." She giggled lightly. "I didn't know that he didn't want me to diagnosis him with a stomach ulcer."
"Oh Willow." Tara smiled seeing all the qualities that would one-day blossom into the woman she felt so much love for. "I should have known that you would be the answer to your own problem." She resisted the urge to hug the youngster and instead she reached out and ran her hand over long red hair almost as she would have done if it were Dawnie sat with her now.
"What's the answer?" Willow smiled at the move though she questioned exactly what the solution was.
"You are." Tara whispered simply.
"How?" She looked into blue eyes not understanding.
"Because if I am right." Tara explained slowly working out her thoughts as she did so. "You are the bit of Willow that was never touched by any of this. You're the innocence she thought she had lost and the salvation she feels she doesn't deserve. You are hope, forgiveness, past and future, you are Willow. But you got lost, in all of this." Tara glanced down at the book Willow was reading the illustrations making it clear that it was an account of the nightmares. "Willow lost you, you lost yourself."
"She lost you." The younger redhead summed up. "We waited for you our whole life and then you were gone."
"Someone you love with all of your heart is never truly gone." Tara shook her head. "I bet I'm here, somewhere." She glanced up and around the library. "In fact." She suddenly pushed up out of the chair excited by the prospect. "I bet its all here." The blonde's blue eyes sparkled.
"I can show you were you are." Willow perked up and grabbed Tara's hand dragging her gently back towards the stacks.
"I was hoping you were going to say that because I have an idea." Eagerly Tara went along with the youngster her brain in overdrive.
"This is you." She went to a back corner that was lit by a firm dreamy beam of light coming from glass in the roof above. "All of them are you." A tall bookcase was filled with pale brown leather bound books.
"All of them?" Tara glanced up and down the bookcase.
"Starts up there when we met you." Willow pointed to the topmost book. "And then down there were all our dreams." She pointed down to the bottom.
"And the books on the table Willow, are they all the bad things?" Tara asked carefully.
"No, that's the index." The redhead frowned.
"The index." Tara repeated slowly.
"There are other books... books with magic in them." She looked towards the dark corner at the other end of the stacks. "All the ones she took when she went to the shop."
Tara's eyes scanned the room quickly easily picking out the rows dark books.
"And what s that." Tara pointed over to a fairly large white cage in the side of the room close to the front doors.
"That's where Giles keep the weapons and the really dangerous books."
Willow followed her eyes to the tall metal area.
"Do you have a key?" Tara pushed gently.
"It sitting in the door." She pointed to the small gold key that was sitting in the lock.
"Willow, I need you to listen really carefully." Tara turned slightly so that she and the teenager were looking at each other's eyes. The girl nodded that she was. "I have no way right now of proving anything that I think but it's all I can think." She said carefully. "I think that to make Willow better to make all of this stop, we need to bring you and the other Willow together."
"But she never comes here." The younger girl shook her head.
"I guessed that which is why its probably going to mean you having to be really brave and coming with me to find her but before we do, there's something else I want to try." Tara reached for the young girl's hand.
"Okay." Willow agreed though her voice shook a little with worry.
"We don't have much time, but if my theory is right when we join you and Willow back together your essence will give Willow back her magical spark. Which means those books." Tara nodded to the dark books. "Will have there dark potential restored."
"The books are dangerous though." The younger Willow worried.
"They are, which is why we're going to do some rearranging in here." Tara gave the younger Willow an assured smile.
"Oh I get it, you want to put all the blank books in the cage so they are under lock and key." Willow smiled her quick mind catching up. "You are smart."
"Not as smart as you." Tara smiled back.
"There's one book that's not here." Willow frowned suddenly.
"Is there?" Tara looked up. "What book?"
"Rack's book." The teenager shivered.
"Why isn't that here?" Tara frowned.
"When she stopped doing magic, when she got everything in control she put it in a different place so that it couldn't hurt her anymore." Willow explained. "I can show you where. We should move these first." Willow decided on an order to their plan. "Then we can go after the last one and her."
With a nod Tara began to move, before stopping and looking at the younger Willow.
"Can I make a personal request for another change though." She asked with a soft smile. "I'm going to need a much bigger book case."
-x-
They walked together into the training room as a group, none of them spoke, and in fact no one even bothered to reach out and put the light on as they walked in. Buffy noticed the large room was very partially lit with a familiar blue glow and then with a sad smile she realised where the light came from. The blonde Wicca who lay still beside Willow had been thoughtful enough to bring with her the small night light and the musical bear from their bedroom to be a comfort to the redhead in this familiar but possibly not 'safe' location. Again Buffy felt a stab of self-anger and self-disappointment as she faced the doubt if she would have remembered such a small detail.
'Oh sometimes you are such a fool.' Buffy broke away from her sister and the others, walking to encircle Willow and Tara on their makeshift bed. She shook her head sadly to herself. 'I'm sorry Tara.' She whispered to the blonde in her mind. 'I should never have thought to doubt you.'
Slowly she made her way to draw up beside Madalene, who had drawn off towards the back corner.
"Just how bad do I feel now." She whispered in the Spellcaster's ear.
"If you feel as bad as I do then I think I owe you an apology as well for ever encouraging you." Madalene was surprised when the Slayer's warm breath waved over her neck but as she heard the words her heart sunk lower.
Buffy watched as her sister moved and knelt on the floor closest to Tara, Dawn reached out and stroked a few strands of golden hair over and over. A little way behind them Xander moved closer to Anya and put an arm around her. The demon for once didn't move or flinch; rather she leaned further back and tipped to lean her head on the carpenter's shoulder. Giles, who was the last to enter, stood awkwardly at the door.
"I think I need to get out of here." Buffy whispered again.
"Do you want company?" Madalene turned slightly as she asked the question.
"Do you feel inclined to stay and watch such a display of obvious adoration and devotion, not that that is what's making me feel so bad, its just you know..." Buffy tried to explain her voice never above a whisper.
"Yes, I know exactly." Madalene nodded her voice barely audible either. "But if you want to be alone."
"I don't think I do." The Slayer admitted.
"Let's go." Madalene took in a soft breath as she looked at the sleeping pair on the floor.
Buffy and Madalene crossed back quietly to the door. The Spellcaster explained to Giles their plans to go out and at least try and find the Galgora demon. While at the same time Buffy slipped over and briefly explained to her sister what she needed to do.
"I'll be back by the time the wish is complete." She vowed to her sister, giving the teenager a brief hug before moving away.
"Take care of yourselves." Giles wished them well with soft words and a nod.
Madalene hadn't really expected there to be much conversation as they left the shop and turned down the back alleys of Main Street. She felt a disappointment in herself right now that she was truly ashamed of. All she ever tried to do was preach temperance and contemplation, but in a moment of trial she had succumbed as quickly as anyone to the irrational pull of her emotions as they launched her into mistrust and deception.
"Are you all right?" As she looked up and caught the forlorn look on Buffy's face she couldn't help but ask the gentle question.
"I have no right to be." Buffy kicked out at a small pebble and sent it skittering down the sidewalk.
"I'm sorry, most of this is my fault. You had every right to be upset this morning." Madalene objected.
"No, it's not." Buffy shook her head.
"I might have had a rite to be upset but I never had the right to doubt Tara." Buffy shook her head and sent another rock chasing after the first. "She's been back less than a week and she's put her life into the hands of a demon she doesn't remember, made a vengeance wish she didn't know existed to enter the mind of her girlfriend whose pain is breaking her heart." She shook her head.
"Makes the power of true love seem invincible doesn't it?" The Spellcaster questioned with a sigh.
"And makes me feel like an idiot." Buffy sighed harder.
"You're not an idiot." Madalene shook her head. "You love them both, you were just trying to do what you thought you could to make things better."
"And in doing so I ignored the one person who possibly knows best. God how blind am I Madalene, you just have to look at Will when she's with her to see the positive effect Tara has on her." Buffy shook her head also.
"None of that negates the importance you have in both their lives Buffy." Madalene frowned more as the Slayer berated herself.
"I know the problem." Buffy admitted with a sigh.
"What is the problem?"
"I don't want to need her." Buffy admitted the hard truth.
"Because you needed her before and she went away?" The Spellcaster slowed down at stopped watching the nuances in the Slayer's body language.
"It was hard to admit with Willow's grief being so deep, so hard." Buffy took a sharp shallow breath. "But I missed her so much." She sighed. "She kept everything together in her quiet assured way. I could talk to her, Dawn worships her. She was our kingpin and then…" The Slayer's head dropped.
"Then she died and you were mad at her." Madalene gave a sad smile.
"She shouldn't have been there." Buffy could hardly believe the words coming out of her mouth.
"She was." Madalene didn't bother arguing the semantics. "And that she was and that she died isn't your fault or hers."
"Everyone I need leaves me." Buffy looked for a moment like her whole world was breaking apart.
"It's allowed to hurt, it's allowed to feel like you can't breathe because the pain is so overwhelming." Madalene stepped closer as slowly as she could manage.
"Why does life have to be so fragile?" Buffy looked up into Madalene's face as the Spellcaster came closer.
"I don't know." She shook her head and frowned. "Maybe so that we appreciate those around us more, know to love them a little bit more bravely."
For a moment it might have seemed like the Slayer was going to move herself forward, asking silently for the Spellcaster to embrace her but at the last moment Buffy pulled back and moved away, her eyes scanning the sidewalk for the pebbles she's kicked earlier.
"I don't know how brave I am anymore." She admitted in a whisper.
"You are brave." Madalene stayed in place having seen the moment of choice before the Slayer shied away from her. "Bravery is not all about fighting and saving the world, sometimes its very much about letting go of control."
"But what if to keep control is the only thing I have known how to do for the last three months, what if it's all I have left?" Buffy asked honestly.
"Maybe now that Willow's grief has a conclusion it's time for you to deal with yours." The Spellcaster knew she might be pushing but she couldn't hold back. "You never mourned her, you never mourned any of this I bet. You've been too busy keeping everyone and everything together."
"And I still have too." Buffy seemed to notch up her resolve.
"Yes, but there has to be time for you in all of this or you are going to be eaten up from the inside out." Madalene met the Slayer's resistance.
"We have Tara back, when I get Willow back then…" The Slayer paused and looked up at the Spellcaster. "Then you have permission to say this to me again and make me cry."
"I'm going to hold you to that." Madalene nodded and gave her a slight smile. "I will even use ice cream and sappy movies if necessary, be warned I can be ruthless."
"Not Beaches." Buffy warned with a sad smile.
"Oh yes Beaches." The Spellcaster's resolve was firm. "Maybe even Steel Magnolias if you don't crack."
"Thank you." Buffy said softly, she reached out and placed hr hand around Madalene's arm. "You've walked into this crazy world and without a thought you embrace all we throw at you."
"Crazy seems familiar somehow, makes me feel a little more like I belong." She whispered reaching up to put her hand over Buffy's.
"You do belong." Buffy assured her.
It had taken some work but Tara looked up with a feeling of accomplishment at the newly arranged books as she and the younger Willow stood beside the now full white cage in the library.
"That's all of them from in here?" The blonde looked at her young helper and checked.
"That's all the blank ones in the library." Willow nodded turning to do a mental double check.
"We don't have to get the others sorted, you and Willow can do that together, while you both are healing." Tara said softly reaching down to take the teenager's hand. "Now you said something about a missing book?" She prompted.
"Rack's book." Willow slim small body shivered within layers of clothing.
"Can you tell me where it is?" Tara squeezed the small hand lightly.
"I can show you where to go to find it but I can't go all the way." Willow nodded.
"You don't have to go anywhere you don't want to sweetie." Tara assured her.
"It's all going to start again soon." She looked to the roof as if something was alerting her and she squeezed Tara's hand. "We should go now."
"Ok." Tara nodded.
"Are you ready?" The younger Willow questioned as the world began to shift again.
"Yes." Tara closed her eyes trying to stay as focused as she could while the nauseating transition took place. Though sadly she could feel herself getting used to the falling feeling.
"I have to wait out here." Willow shuffled a little as the world came to solid again within a dank dirty room. The wallpaper peeled down the walls in water stained streaks and a thread worn couch sat uninvitingly against one wall.
"It's through there." She reached up her free hand and pointed to the grey door.
"Will you wait for me?" Tara asked softly hoping that her guide would be able too. She rewarded the nod she received with a smile and then with a light breath moved forward towards the door.
The interior room was in no better shape. The walls were stained and whatever paint had been on them had faded down to the drabbest of browns. The sort of colour that dragged whatever light and life was in the room down and mixed it until it to was nothing more than a muddled tasteless colour.
Tara was alone in the room or so she thought until the haunting fast pant of tiny breaths came from above her. Very slowly she tipped her head backwards, nothing though could have prepared her for seeing her lover pinned up on the ceiling, held there magically by her own addiction to the power that coursed through her veins. Tara raised her hand to her face in horror.
Sweat soaked red hair clung around Willow's pale features as her dark eyes appraised nothing and everything at the same time. Her arms and legs were held out from her body though no force or trigger seemed to hold her aloft. It was merely as if the ceiling was the floor and she lay there upon it high and delighted.
"Willow?" Tara made the vague attempt at communication as she stepped further into the room. She wanted to drag her eyes away, look for the book she had made the journey to collect but it was hard to not look at the sight of the woman she loved with all of her heart.
"Oh Strawberry up there can't answer you." A familiar voice called from the shadows, as the one player in all of this Tara had not yet met stepped out to introduce themselves.
Tara turned instantly, her eyes going first to the black boots that made a slight tap against the wooden floorboards as their owner came into full view.
"She's in her happy place." Willow, the one Tara assumed Maladic had been coming for, stepped out and with a feral smile looked the blonde up and down.
"You are Willow." Tara forced herself to speak trying to move beyond her natural distress at this latest 'version' of her lover.
"We're all Willow, the whole place is Willow." The dark creature seethed each repetition of her name. "The pain, the hurt, the shame, the pathetic listless empathy for humanity, its all Willow."
"The love, the joy, the purity and the hope is all her too." Tara challenged the harsh words.
"Oh I see you met pre-pubescent Willow." The Dark One laughed a little. "Isn't she just so cute?" She rolled her eyes the effect slightly lost with the dark tint they held.
"She frightens you that much that you laugh." Tara pointed out astutely.
"Frightens me?" Dark Willow stopped.
"Why else would you laugh?" Tara asked softly.
"Because the little ball of fluff you think is going to bring you salvation in this has left you in the only place where you are vulnerable." She sneered looking up to the ceiling.
"Vulnerable?" It was Tara's turn to question.
"You made a wish." The Dark One moved closer taking a slow deep breath. "I can smell it on you."
"I did." Tara confirmed forcing herself to stay perfectly in place.
"You were so careful to make sure you didn't use magic to get here, thought you could outsmart me." She reached up a pale hand and ran a finger over Tara's shoulder.
Something inside the blonde literally wanted to crawl away from the touch but the Wiccan stayed firm.
"Funny thing is you never thought about all the magick you'd be brining with you." Dark Willow's mouth curled into a broad grin.
"I... but..." Tara suddenly panicked.
"It didn't even cross your mind did it?" The Dark One laughed finding the whole scenario highly amusing. "Didn't stop to think I'll be walking straight to the source with enough heritage to blow this world wide open?"
For a second Tara thought she was going to lose thought it was all going to go horribly wrong. After all what this Willow was saying was right. From all admissions, everything that Madalene had told her, she had a lot of magic inside her. She had even more magic now then ever and she had brought all of that magick with her. It was only as she panicked that she remembered something, something that calmed her and made her draw in a light breath before she answered the dark woman before her.
"But I can't even float a pencil." Tara replied honestly with a slight smirk.
"I don't care if you can float a pencil, I want the rest of what you can do." The Dark One licked her lips as unopposed she reached her hand out and put her palm flat against Tara's collarbone.
For a moment Tara closed her eyes not at all sure what would happen. With her eyes closed she couldn't see the Dark One's look of pleasure fade into one of pure rage.
"Where is my magick?" She pulled back her hand and looked at the blonde in disbelief. "I know you have it in there." She went to put her hand back.
Blue eyes flicked open at the sound of the dark angry voice and as The Dark One tried to find what she wanted her jaw locked painfully so that the sound of her teeth gnashing together was audible.
"What have you done with my magick?" She cursed again.
Tara's hand reached out and closed around the slender wrist holding the pale veined hand away from her body.
"As I said, I can't yet float a pencil. I can make a simple little ball of light but somehow I can't see that is a skill you would desire." Tara breathed a little more calmly as she looked at the dark sorceress.
"You tricked me!" She seethed her hand held in place by Tara's.
"You can't take what I've not unlocked." Tara met the snarl with calm clarity. "Not even you can take my spark from me."
"It doesn't matter." Dark Willow ripped her arm back. "You think I can't wait for the next chance? You think I'm not always going to be here biding my time?" She looked up again to the body against the ceiling. "I am here. I am Willow."
"No." Tara shook her head. "You're not Willow." Following dark eyes for a moment she looked at the panting woman on the ceiling. But again she turned her gaze back to the black dressed figure before her. "You may be a part of her, but you are not her."
"I am more a part of her than you want to admit." The Dark One growled.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" For the first time since her previous worry Tara frowned.
"I'm the part of her that frightens you, I'm the part of her that you can't control. The rest bows and jumps at your prompting but not me." The dark creature stood her ground.
"How can you say this, I've never had to face you before. I've never had to deal with this Willow." Tara's voice wavered, as did her confidence.
"You don't remember your magic and you don't remember how we made you our puppet." The Dark One stepped closer again. "Seems you have forgotten many things."
"Your words, your attempt to win this will not work." Tara fought to find focus.
"Won't they?" She held up her arm and tapped her wrist. "You still need something but you're running out of time."
"The book." Tara suddenly remembered. "Where is it?" Blue eyes darted around the shabby room.
"How would I know?" The Dark One cocked her head to one side.
"You know." The blonde's eyes narrowed slightly.
"Are you going to beat it out of me?" A smirk crossed pale evil features. "Oh Tara I didn't know you had it in you."
"If you know me, as Willow knows me, then you'll know I have no clue of what I am capable of." Tara shook out her hands and arms a little and altered her stance taking on what she hoped was still a passive aggressive one.
"Just remember I kicked your precious Slayer's ass and that was without magick." The Dark One put her hands up.
"I'll keep that in..." Tara breathed out in a measured breath and then stopped as she looked at the familiar face, looked past the changed facade. "Mind." She finished quietly dropping her stance and changing her look to one of compassion.
"Come on. Fight me pretty girl." The dark Willow urged her to start the battle but Tara's look turned into a smile as she slowly shook her head.
"Its what you want isn't it? Pain, confrontation, a chance to hurt as you've been hurt." Again Tara shook her head. "A chance maybe even to let me win." She added softly.
The Dark One snarled though she didn't move as the air in the room changed. A sound something like the crude sound of a bandage being pulled off skin slowly echoed as the body above began to peel off the ceiling. On shaky legs Willow stepped up to stand, her gravity still opposite to the others so that her feet were stamped against the texture of the plaster above and her head at full height came into Tara's vision.
"Get out of here." She urged her eyes still dark but the look of ecstasy gone. "Please." She reached her hand down and out to the blonde.
"I came for something and I am not leaving without it." Tara replied softly shifting her eyes to look at the still ones before her.
"Please." Willow pleaded again in a whisper as she turned her arm up so that Tara could see within her palm was a miniature book, only the size of her small hand but made of the most ancient leather. "Go."
Tara reached up and closed her fingers around Willow's hand feeling the hot leather press into her palm.
"I love you." Tara whispered quickly pulling her hand back in an instant. The hanging figure closed its eyes and nodded softly and then without looking anywhere else Tara ran.
Madalene did her best to keep running despite the deep burning in her lungs and the slight cramping in the overtaxed muscles of her legs. She knew that Buffy was purposely hanging back to give her lead-time over the sprinting Galgora but at best all the Slayer could do was side track the large demon that was intent it seemed on eating her for one reason or another.
They had rather accidentally came across the creature at the back of the movie theatre, its head buried in a container of stall popcorn almost exactly as Buffy had described before it turned and attempted to communicate to them. That communication had only lead to the creature getting more agitated and finally making an attempt to slice her head off with its long claws.
"Bu–uff-y." She gasped as she came to the crest of the small hill in the road and only managed to see a slight wave from the Slayer directing her to head into the less hilly landscape in the cemetery. "I... can't..." She panted hearing the creature squeal as Buffy tripped it and it crashed to the ground. "Keep this up." She turned into the gate with a few hundred feet between her and the fallen creature.
As it tried to rise up the Slayer was ready for it and she landed a soft but deterring kick to snap one leg out from under it so that it again went face first to the ground. She knew that she never fought well when she wasn't giving it her all, so purposely pulling her punches to not injure the creature was beginning to take its toll. Attempting to run away again towards the Spellcaster, she felt a long hand come around her ankle and this time it was her who crashed face down into the dirt.
Immediately she spun over and using both her legs she braced down to kick up into the large body descending on her. The blow to the chest stunned the Galgora for a moment and she scrambled away. This time putting on an extra burst of speed to catch up with Madalene.
"Neither can I, well not forever anyway." Buffy admitted though the Slayer hardly seemed out of breath.
"I wish I knew why..." Madalene had tried to ask the obvious question of why he was interested in her when shaking off the recent blow the Galgora got up.
"You must smell good." Buffy replied trying to think of their options for escape and capture.
"Isttsa miristai." He stamped his foot and pointed at the Spellcaster.
"You never mentioned I did." Madalene whined as he fingered her again as his goal and she turned to the Slayer panting hard.
"Slipped my mind with everything else going on." Buffy grinned. "Come on, I have an idea." She suddenly changed their direction and they headed towards the centre of the graveyard.
"If it involves burying me alive, I think I could be persuaded if no more running is involved." Madalene did her best to keep up.
"No more of a case of…" Buffy paused as she pushed open the door to a derelict building. "Crypt crashing." She explained pushing the Spellcaster in through the smaller than normal doorway.
Madalene burst through the open door stumbling down the steps only to crash into a rather stunned Clem who was just returning form the mini fridge with a can of mountain dew.
"Oh Buffy, and err, Buffy's friend. Hello." He smiled as pleasant and jovial as ever as he helped the Spellcaster get upright.
"We have a little problem." Buffy ran back to push the door closed and hold it there.
"Big problem." Madalene hobbled over to the chair leaning against the arm as she tried to catch her breath.
"Well yeah, bigger than little." Buffy agreed.
"Anything I can help with?" The demon asked helpfully but his words were shadowed as the door to the crypt shook under the weight of the charging Galgora. "Ah is it a case of hiding you perhaps?" He offered looking between Buffy and Madalene.
"Large..." Madalene looked up for the first time seeing fully who and what Clem was. "Demon." She lost a little of her volume.
"I'm Clem by the way." He waved at her.
"Madalene Slean." She smiled at him and nodded her thanks.
"Though no, we don't want you to hide us." Buffy shook her head as she put her weight against the door as the demon hit it again. "Would you believe me if I said we want you to keep your eye on it." She pointed to the obvious attacking creature behind the door, her request making Clem think about the situation for a moment.
"How am I supposed to do that when it is outside?" He enquired logically.
"Well I was about to let it in." Buffy grinned.
"It has a strange fascination with me." Madalene admitted to him.
"Is letting it in wise then?" Clem asked frowning softly. "I mean she seems nice Buffy." He stuck up for the newcomer.
"It's not a bad demon, its just been accidentally brought here from another dimension and we need to make sure its safe for two days until it will get sent back to its home." The Spellcaster tried to explain.
"A Galgora is here?" Clem smiled widely causing Buffy to arch an eyebrow in question and glance at Madalene.
"Yes, you've come in contact with them before?" Mads questioned him immediately.
"Oh yes sure, last one that ended up here and I got quite friendly with him." Clem nodded.
"Well can you get across to the one out there that eating me for lunch is not a good thing for either of us?" Madalene put the request forward hoping Clem could do something.
"I could try, though…" Clem sniffed the air slightly. "If I'm right you have some kind of rose oil on?" He looked at Madalene and she nodded to confirm his suspicion. "They find roses quite tasty." He explained.
"Clem, do you speak Galgoraian?" Buffy questioned having to put her back into keeping the door closed.
"Oh yes." Clem nodded happily.
"Can you please tell him to calm down and not eat Madalene and then we'll let him in?" Buffy attempted find a solution to their problem. "Tell him we can bring lots of real edible roses if he likes."
"Oh sorry of course." Clem seemed embarrassed he'd not thought of this as he strolled to the door and began an unintelligible conversation through the crypt wall.
"You okay?" Buffy moved over closer to Madalene.
"I'm okay." Madalene nodded. "Are you?" She checked.
"Yeah but I broke a sweat which means hard run." Buffy smiled.
"I'm sure tomorrow walking will be painful but I think the adrenaline is keeping me going." The Spellcaster laughed as she reached into her bag and pulled out a handkerchief. "Here for that glow you broke."
"Is it a magic handkerchief?" Buffy laughed as she took it and dabbed at her forehead.
"Yes, if you use it to blow your nose it magically becomes yours." She teased back at the grinning Slayer.
"He's very sorry." Clem suddenly announced to them. "It's just that he's very hungry and has very bad indigestion." The demon moved to open the door. Buffy felt herself step in front of Madalene as the Galgora demon lumbered through the doorway and grumbled something to Clem.
"Sorry, SHE is very sorry." He stressed correcting himself.
"Oh tell her we're sorry about the misunderstanding." Madalene added politely though she stepped closer behind Buffy for protection. "And is there anything we can bring?"
"Oh I did already." Clem smiled he crossed to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of ginger ale. The Galgora demon pulled at a long ream of cobweb and proceeded to eat it. "Lots of roses." He suggested with a smile hurrying over holding out the bottle to the other creature.
"We'll be back with roses then." Madalene put her hand on Buffy's shoulder and urged her towards the door.
"Thanks for this." Buffy made sure Madalene moved to the door first so that at all times she was in a protector's position. Clem smiled and raised his hand as the two women slipped out.
"And here I thought Rose oil was unlikely to attract unwanted attention." Madalene breathed a sigh of relief as they walked away from the crypt.
"Perhaps you should emphasis the vanilla more." Buffy pointed out the other scent that clung to the Spellcaster.
"Maybe I shouldn't bother." The Spellcaster shrugged sadly.
"With what?" Buffy questioned not sure why the other woman's mood had changed so quickly.
"Perfume." Madalene adjusted the shoulder strap of her bag.
"Why? Hey it got you attention, ok so it was from a demon, a female demon, probably not what you were looking for, in either case." Buffy babbled trying not to sound stupid. "But it's something."
"Yeah it's something, so where do we get roses cheap?" Madalene shook her head at the Slayer as they made their way towards the cemetery gates.
The room melted away as Tara had ran blindly through the far wall of Rack's dirty domain into a void of darkness. The blonde kept running as she went right through the dark into a forest, through the forest to a beachside and she was still running as she breeched into a field full of tall grass and wildflowers.
"TARA STOP!" The now familiar voice of teenage Willow screamed at her suddenly.
The blonde was actually glad when someone called to her, just getting out of The Dark One's presence had been her single motivation and she needed to have something to focus on again.
Willow came running gently after her, the young woman's steps were much more careful and slightly out of breath she put her hand out on Tara's shoulder.
"Stop, stop." She urged distressed.
"S-S-S-Sorry." Tara panted a little as she stopped and she felt the sickening feeling inside her melting away.
"I was afraid you didn't see it." Willow turned slightly and pointed to the cliff in front of them. They stood on the precipice of a large canyon and Tara had been running headlong into it before she'd been called to a halt.
"Didn't see what?" Tara frowned and then opened her blue eyes wide. "Oh." She forced herself to calm down.
"Did you get the book?" Willow questioned worried that she might not have with the blonde's sudden frightened sprint from the room.
"I did." Tara nodded she showed the teenage the tiny book. "We need to get it to the library."
"This way." Willow offered her hand and Tara took it lightly. She began leading her through the tall grass which grew higher and higher until it touched the sky and obscured anything else from vision. It reminded Tara of when she was young and she'd try to hide in the tall grass, only the grass had never done what it was doing now and it brought no feeling of safety.
It seemed for a long moment they were walking in circles until a set of double doors loomed ahead of them and pushing through they walked into the dusty library. The grass field was left to disappear when the doors swung shut again.
"How do you find your way around here?" Tara said softly as she crossed quickly and placed the book into the cage making sure she put it inside a thicker tome that could not be pulled through the bars or reached in any way.
"It's easy. As soon as you get to the place you are lost you automatically go to the place you are home." Willow smiled gently. "What do we do now?" She questioned watching Tara checking that all the books.
"We need to close the door and lock it." Tara pointed out. "You must do it." She added recognising the fact that Willow had to be her own 'healer' from the magic. With any recovery the biggest step came when it became time for the person to choose what they wanted most.
"Are you sure this will be okay?" The young woman questioned nervously.
"I'd love to say I am sure." Tara took a light breath and held both of Willow's hands. "But how can I be?" She admitted softly. "I believe with my whole heart that this is the right thing to do, this way the magic is still here inside Willow's, still inside your head but its not accessible. Its not free to tempt or to harm any of you."
"How did we learn all of that?" Willow looked a little awed by the huge collection of books in the cage. Many were stacked in piles on the floor and the shelves within were filled to overflowing.
"You were needy." Tara replied sadly. "And of course there is your great sense of wonder and thirst for knowledge." She softened her tone. "You're naturally inquisitive sweetie, that I can't change." She squeezed the youngster's hand. "Oh and did I mention smart."
"Does that mean we can never do magic again? Never learn?" Willow threaded one hand into the side of the cage.
"It means that if you learn any new magic it will be just that, new. You'll still be able to float a pencil because you can do that innately, but I'm hoping that you can find something else to focus on." Tara smiled encouragingly.
"I always thought the magic would be fun, I don't think it turned out that way." Willow frowned and reached up to shut the door firmly. "It took everything we loved away."
"Sweetie can we just sit down for a moment?" Tara nodded over to the two chairs that were near a table in the library. Willow nodded and came over to sit neatly on the chair her hands in her lap. "I need to tell you I don't actually know what doing all this will change. I'm hoping that with this all locked away and with you reunited with the other Willow, my Willow, that the internal balance within you will be returned."
The teenager nodded that she understood.
"But it won't change any of the facts, it won't change what has already happened." Tara's voice went to a whisper.
"Nothing can change that." Willow acknowledged sadly.
"But I'm hoping that this will let her, let all of you grieve properly without anything else getting in the way making it more complicated." Tara explained and then took a breath. "I think what I'm trying to say…" She added. "Is that I know this isn't going to make everything better, but I hope its going to start thing going the right way."
"I'm glad you're back." The teenager admitted softly looking down into her hands.
"Me too." Tara agreed. "You ready to lock the door?" She glanced to the cage.
Willow took a long breath, letting it slowly before she stood up and looked up to the closed door. She slowly reached to brush her hand over her skirt to straighten it before she crossed over to the cage and lifted her hand up.
"Time for this to stop." She rested her fingers on the small yellow key and turned it, the lock snapping into place with an echo.
"Remind me to tell you every day how brave you are." Tara stood up and moved over to her.
"I'm not brave." Willow shook her head and turned, she held her hand out with the key in it.
"Don't ever say that." Tara looked at the key and then into green eyes. "Do you want me to take that?"
"If its here then no one is safe." Willow explained showing her wisdom despite her years. "It has to be somewhere that 'she' can never get it back from."
"I'll take it." Tara reached out and held it tightly in her palm.
"What now?" She seemed relieved when the lightweight left her hand.
"Now for the hard bit." Tara gave the teenager a brave smile. "It's time to give you your innocence back."
With the sun dipping below the horizon earlier and earlier, Buffy had almost expected the vampire that crossed into their path after they had delivered the four dozen roses to Clem and his charge. Though with the days adrenaline running high in her veins it hadn't taken her long to track the newly risen vamp down.
"I think we need to get back. Sorry for the slight diversion to stake that vamp." Buffy looked Madalene as the dust settled.
"It's okay, things have to be done. The rest of the world never seems to get the point that you need it to stop for awhile." The Spellcaster shook off the worry.
"Are you getting the 'I'm avoiding going back till the last minute' vibe from me?" Buffy quizzed realising that her motives might be obvious.
"I am but I don't think I'm totally against that." Madalene smiled softly at her. "Standing around waiting isn't something I think you enjoy."
"I'm more of an action girl." Buffy admitted as they began their walk back to the shop.
"Oh now don't you try to fool me, that brain of yours spins just as fast as mine." Madalene pointed out as they turned the corner of one building. She avoided looking at the Slayer as she commented as she didn't need confirmation.
"Yeah though mine often ends up in the wrong place." Buffy thought back to the start of their walk.
"Do you sometimes wonder if it would be easier to just keep thinking and not pull yourself back?" Madalene's voice dropped a notch.
"What do you mean?" Buffy questioned immediately.
"Just crazy talk." She shook her head as she reached into her bag she pulled out a wooden clip and tied her hair up into a light bun that bounced a little around her neck.
"Should we bring anything back with us?" She tried to gently guide them to a more neutral topic.
"Please." Buffy stopped and hoped Madalene would do the same. "Explain what you said."
"You..." Madalene shuffled to a stop and cleared her throat. "You get some worry or anxiety rolling around in your brain like a snowball and it grows then splits as you realized how it would effect other things and then you start getting lost as to what the first thought was, about where you fit in at all, about where you belong."
"We're talking about you aren't we?" Buffy said softly as she made an attempt to catch the Spellcaster's eyes.
"Yes." Madalene smiled a little uncomfortable at her own words. "Really so coffee or donuts? The Scoobies have a love for donuts don't they." She put her arms around her body and walked slightly ahead of the Slayer.
"Mads?" Buffy called she'd kept standing still as the other woman moved away. The Spellcaster turned back slowly somehow knowing Buffy wasn't going to let the words slip away. "The way I see it." Buffy looked at the other woman's face. "You're needed here." The Slayer summed up simply. "Tara is going to need you as she recovers more, Giles is loving having someone on his level to bounce ideas off and I..." Buffy stopped short of finishing.
Madalene waited silent as Buffy seemed to give up on what she was going to say and decided on something else.
"Everyone needs friends Madalene. We're you're friends." Buffy added softly.
"Thank you." The Spellcaster nodded with a small smile of acceptance.
"I think donuts would be a good choice!" The Slayer began walking.
"What is everyone's favourite?" Madalene mused as she stepped quickly to catch up with the blonde and looped her arms into Buffy's. "I've figured out Mr. Giles likes the lemon filled and Dawn likes the double chocolate sugar mountain ones."
"I'm a jelly girl." Buffy grinned.
"Let me guess..." Madalene grinned back. "Blueberry?"
"Anything sweet and sticky." Buffy admitted.
Tara looked down at the small hand in her own and then up to the green eyes that blinked waiting for her to say something.
"Are you ready?" She asked carefully.
"I think so, as ready as I'm going to be. I mean ready in a I have no idea sorta way because I've never done this before." Willow babbled even as she tried to hide her nervousness.
"That's ok, me either." Tara smiled reassuring her.
"Which other me do we have to find?" The young Willow questioned a little startled as the world shook around them.
"I'm hoping that 'you' are going to know the answer to that question." Tara admitted as the scene spun away before it shuddered back to solid.
The walls and floor were once again covered in white tiles, though the upper portion was painted in a soothing contrasting clay colour giving the area an all around softer tone with the addition of dimmed lighting and a potted plant that peaked around the corner of the hall.
She was carefully tucked in the corner with the teenager still protectively beside her as first her Willow and the Slayer seemed suspended for a moment watching something retreat down the hallway behind them.
"Will, you just have to rest. Okay?" Buffy's voice was soft and concerned. "Right now there's nothing you can do."
"Yes, there is." Willow's voice held a tone that Tara couldn't recognise, it was hard and angry as well as deeply upset. Abruptly she turned to walk away.
"No. No way." The Slayer said sternly as she chased after her best friend and pulled her to a stop. "You cannot even think about taking on Glory."
"You saw what she did to Tara. I can't let her get away with it." Willow stared hard at the Slayer.
"No. You have to let her get away with it, even I'm no match for her you know that." Buffy stressed though it was obvious she hated having to admit her weakness.
"But maybe I am." Once again the pure hatred in Willow's voice made it almost unrecognisable. The redhead moved to go but Buffy caught hold of her arm and forced her to stop.
"You're not and I won't let you go." The Slayer underlined.
"This is not your choice. It's mine." Willow pointed out clearly.
"This is not the time." Buffy tried another argument.
"When, Buffy? When is? When *you* feel like it? When it's someone *you* love as much as I love Tara? When it's Dawn, is that it?" Willow's accusations seemed endless and Tara found the tirade from her lover hard to listen to.
"When we have a chance. We'll fight her, when we have a chance. You wouldn't last five minutes with her, Willow." The Slayer pointed out clearly the fact she thought her best friend was missing. "She's a God."
"Fine. I'll wait." The redhead said shaking her head.
"It's the only way." Buffy rewarded her friend with a sad smile.
"Yeah." Willow started to walk away again.
"Can I do anything?" Buffy called after her.
"Just let me be alone." Willow's words echoed as the scene shifted again without its usual twisting and turning to merge into the Magic Box.
Tara found herself over near the stacks of books when the door burst open. Willow, obviously fuelled by the same anguish she'd shown at the hospital, ran in and across to the iron stairs that led up to the dangerous books section.
The younger Willow had held tight to Tara's hand just letting the scene and the world turn around them without them being a part of anything within it. She just let the blonde watch the events that she herself had been so removed from due to the condition Glory had inflicted upon her. Of course even if she did have her memories, Tara would not have known exactly what had been said and done during this time and it was only as the enraged Willow's feet landed on the stairs that teenage Willow spoke to help her understand.
"This is when she puts me away, this is when she pushed me into the library and told me to stay there." She whispered her voice shaking.
"This is when she made her choice so this is where we intervene." Tara said feeling a sense of strength as she squeezed Willow's hand and then stepped out from the bookcase that hid them from the other Willow's view. "Willow." She called to the angry redhead at the top of the shop.
"I know what you're going to say but I don't have time for this right now. I have to make her pay." Willow turned around to the blonde though she still kneeled on the floor of the upper loft.
"How can you know what I'm going to say? I'm not supposed to be here am I." Tara questioned as she walked across the shop to the lower step.
"Just because you're always with me. I know you think I should wait but I can't, she hurt you, she needs to pay." Willow shook her head and reached back towards the books.
"How does darkening your soul and letting yourself be lost to me make her pay?" Tara contradicted with a soft strength.
"She caused you pain, she's owed it back." Willow seethed. "No one hurts you, no one hurts you while I still breathe."
"So you sacrifice yourself for me?" Tara frowned as she witnessed the very moment all of this had begun, seeing it with a hard clarity.
"You want me to sit back and let her do nothing?" Willow snapped. "Do nothing to make her know she can't hurt you, can't hurt my girl?"
"No, but when you save me, which I know you will, I want my Willow not some other Willow who has lost part of herself to anger and hatred." Tara tried to reason with her girlfriend.
"You don't understand." Willow shook her head. "Baby I have to do this."
"No, no you don't." Tara shook her head. "Buffy promised you, that she would make Glory pay." She eased herself up the stairs.
"Buffy can't do anything, every time she meets Glory she gets pounded." Willow turned around and looked down the decreasing incline at the blonde.
"But together you will find a way to beat her." Tara met Willow's resistance. "You're a team, you, Buffy, Xander, Anya, Giles…" She listed the Scoobies off. "Me and Dawnie. We're a team." She stressed the fact.
"But I hurt her, I hurt her and Buffy knows that she has to trust me. She knows she has to trust how much I love you and what I'm willing to fight for that love." Willow seemed to slip out of the moment.
"There are more ways than one of fighting Willow." Tara's voice went even softer.
"How? How do I fight this? I don't even know what I'm fighting anymore." Willow shook her head sadly and swinging her legs around she sat on the top step.
"That's because you're fighting yourself." Tara soothed as she stayed firmly standing on the third stair so that they were basically eye to eye. "But you can't win when you're fragmented." She shook her head. "I've been around in your head for a while now Will, I'm getting an idea of where you are. You have been through so much. So much that has scarred you so badly in such short time." She whispered only then moving closer, her route up the remaining stairs was painfully slow as she almost expected Willow to retreat from her.
"You're angry, you're bitter, you're in pain but you're also lost, scared and so needy. Above all that you believe you deserve it all." Tara reached her hand softly towards Willow as she got to the top step and turned to sit down on it beside her. "You believe that everything bad that has happened and everything that you feel as a result of that is your fault." She continued and put her hand down next to Willow's not touching the redhead's thin pale one but close enough to do so if either wanted it. "And the confusion you feel, the 'lost' feeling is because that there are so many 'Willow's here, all fragmented, all with their own pain and issues and that's the problem." She assessed trying to bring perspective. "Divided no army can stand against anything, united, it stands a chance."
"Baby, I'm tired." Willow leaned a bit sideways, her body seeming to go frail as she put her weight against Tara's shoulder.
"I bet you are baby, I know I would be." Gracefully Tara cradled her arm around to offer more support to the tired redhead. "You have battles to fight Willow, I can't take them away or make them better but I can fight with you. Fight them with a whole you, one not affected by the fragmentation in your mind or the fragmentation caused by the magic but I need you to fight too." She whispered placing a kiss on red hair.
"I don't know if I can fight anymore." Willow whispered leaning even heavier against Tara.
"When you're not fighting yourself you might be surprised how stronger you feel." Tara encouraged.
From the shadow of the bookcase the younger Willow tentatively stepped out. Looking up and studying them, appraising the easy comfort Tara could offer her older counterpart with just the smallest gesture. The small noise of the squeaky sneaker on the highly polished wood floor caught Tara's ears.
"No, no she can't be here." Willow pushed back towards the bookcase when she realised just which one of her was there with them. She recoiled as if petrified of the younger her.
"Easy, easy." Tara let Willow move away. "Why don't you want her here baby?" She questioned softly.
"If I'm her then I'm helpless, I'm a loser and I can't do anything." Willow shook her head putting her arms up around her face to hide herself.
"Is that really what you think?" Tara asked as she shifted a little and reached out an arm beckoning slightly to the younger Willow. Bright red sneakers slowly shuffled forward to cross the rest of the shop and stand at the bottom of the stairs.
"She's not a part of any of this, she's the past... she hasn't done anything wrong." Willow pushed her legs up tight to her body.
"She's you Willow, she's a part of you." Tara stressed in a calm gentle voice.
"She's just a girl, she has no power." Willow shook her head over and over.
"She's here, doesn't that suggest she has more power, more inner strength, more bravery than you think?" Tara reached out for the teenager wiggling her fingers for the teenager's hand. The younger Willow slowly climbed the stairs to put her hand in Tara's.
"She needs to be safe, she can't be touched by this." Willow whispered the secret she'd been hiding.
"Why is that Willow?" Tara pushed slightly knowing that admittance from Willow would help in the long run.
"She doesn't know what it's like to loose her heart." Willow's body started to shake. "She doesn't know what it's like to loose you."
"You pushed her out didn't you?" Tara spoke the question with obvious confidence that she knew the answer. "When you came to do this, you knew that this was wrong and you wanted to protect her."
"I had too." Willow's voice was barely audible.
"But you need her Willow." Tara stressed. "And she needs you."
"All of this stuff scares me." The younger Willow whispered moving closer to them.
"You're allowed to be scared." Tara whispered squeezing the hand in her own. She was about to say more when she felt an odd tugging inside as if she was being pulled and realising what the feeling meant her blue eyes widened in alarm.
"That's why we have to keep you safe." Willow's body uncurled a bit tears silently rolling down her cheeks as for the first time she directly addressed her other self.
"Right." Tara agreed pulling the teenager closer and the young woman eased down to sit on the step with her. "She needs you Willow." She looked at the curled up read head as she threaded her fingers through the younger Willow's long red hair. "You need her."
"If she's with me she's not safe." Willow objected shaking her head adamantly.
"She is." Tara whispered the fact she believed in. "I trust you."
"I'm not safe without you, I can't fight these things." The younger Willow admitted in a tiny voice as green eyes fixed on one another.
Tara gave the teenager a smile impressed at her bravery even though her insides lurched again and she felt a tingling beginning in her arms and legs.
"I'm sorry." Willow suddenly moved out of her position and grabbed at herself hugging the young girl to her. "I never meant to cause so much pain."
Tara barely had a moment to take in the change as a bright blinding light consumed the world within the shop, though in another instant she was stood in the library before the book filled cage.
She stood there helpless to move as a fast tight wind passed around her in forced torrents bringing with it lines of what she guessed were the white and black magic that was seeping out of Willow. The lines began to weave in with one another in the air, turning and whirling in patterns all around her before bolts of the mixture broke off and slipped between the bars of the cage.
One by one the books they had placed their levitated up to meet the magic and before Tara's stunned eyes the writing spilled back onto the blank pages as by magic the sheaths of paper turned to be filled with the lines they had held since there creation.
Even as the tingling in Tara's body rose to become a firm numbness, she remained there to watch as the last book rose to be filled before it dropped back to its place among the others out of reach.
As soon as the tome settled the wind around her died down and a void of heaviness began to press in at the blonde's body from all sides.
"Time's done, she should come back now." Anya's voice whispered though the void reaching her nearly deaf ears as her numb body began to tumble again through the dark.
To Tara it felt as if she were falling from some lofty position in the heavens like a dying star, falling down to the earth faster than even she believed possible as her skin began to warm with the friction.
When she finally came back to hit the ground her landing was a hard sudden jolt that caused her blue eyes to flash open as she hurriedly drew a lung full of air. Her body expected pain from the landing but as the waves of agony didn't arrive she was able to slowly let the breath out again.
"Tara." Dawn was instantly there at the blonde's side checking on her.
"Dawnie?" Tara said the girl's name out of impulse without really registering that this meant that she was back that her wish was over. The parts of her mind and body were trying to catch up and reconnect with one another after the long journey back.
"Sshhh, try to stay calm." Dawn moved to help her sit up, worried by the fast hard way that Tara was breathing.
"Willow? Is Willow..." The blonde demanded but her voice was taken away by her erratic breathing as her head began swimming a little.
"Willow's fine." Buffy's voice came in immediately to soothe her somewhere off to the other side. The Slayer was down beside the redhead who was waking up much more slowly.
"Buffy?" Tara immediately recognised the Slayer's voice.
"Yeah." Buffy reached around and squeezed the Wiccan's hand. "Just take it slow."
"I'm sorry." Tara felt hot tears stinging in her eyes as she squeezed the Slayer's strong hand tightly. "I should have told you a-a-about the dream."
"I shouldn't have been a bitch about it." Buffy shook her head but she knew that cloudy blue eyes barely registered the move.
"She's you're best friend Buffy, I understand." Tara felt her breathing even a little.
"Did it work?" Xander bounced a few feet away anxious and unable to take the suspense anymore.
"I don't know." Tara admitted she turned to look still disoriented at the young man. "I'm sorry Xander I wish I could say yes, but I don't know."
The Summers' house was quiet like a museum as everyone gathered around the sleeping redhead who was curled up peacefully on the living room couch. It had seemed the best idea when they all arrived home, as in their own way each of the Scoobies wanted to keep an eye on her to decide for themselves if she was 'better' or not.
Willow had regained a slightly dopey consciousness state at the Magic Shop but not enough to even hint if Tara's actions had caused any drastic changes within her. So at this moment they were still left waiting.
Tara was curled up at the edge of the couch on the floor with a blanket over her legs watching. Dawn wasn't far away, sitting nearby as if standing guard over her two favourite witch's.
"Does anyone want tea?" Giles asked from his place back towards the kitchen.
"I'm sure everyone could use something." Madalene backed him up softly and moved off towards him to help. She knew no one had probably taken the time all day to eat or drink anything. No one really answered her back, as everyone stared at the couch enthralled by the possibilities that could result when Willow awoke again.
Xander had pulled a chair in from the dining room giving Buffy the full-length of the floor to pace. Anya, who had been uncharacteristically quiet since Tara's return, stood playing with the small fringe on the lamp shade.
"Is there anything we can do?" Xander questioned softly.
"Pace." Buffy suggested but there deeply etched concern on her smiling face.
"I think you have that covered." He smiled back at her.
"She's better." Dawn whispered with some confidence as she watched Willow sleeping.
All eyes in the room looked at the teenager in question.
"We don't know that." Anya objected feeling a heavy responsibility, as it had been her granting of Tara's wish that had put them in this place now.
"I'm not saying everything is perfect but its better." She didn't bother arguing directly with Anya, she just restated her belief in a calm voice.
"What makes you say that Dawnie?" Tara inquired softly.
"Because I'm not the only key." Dawn reached to lift Tara's right hand out of her lap and hold her palm up so that everyone could see the light almost faint yellow outline that was on her palm. "If nothing was better why would you have that?"
"I..." Tara's words faltered as she looked down. "Oh Goddess." She watched as Dawn's finger traced the outline of the small key and she realized she'd still been clutching it when the wish had ended.
"What? What is it?" Buffy moved over to get a closer look.
"Its the key." Tara explained amazed. "Its a long story but…" She paused. "I think Dawn might be right."
"Dawnie's always right." Willow's voice suddenly announced her return to consciousness with a long yawn. "She's the ketchup."
"Willow?" Tara closed her fingers into her palm and shifted to look at her girlfriend.
"Hi Tare-bear." Willow held her girlfriend's hand but stretched her other arm out as she involuntarily yawned again.
"Hi sweetie." Tara grinned at the sleepy redhead.
"Hey Will." Buffy called to her best friend.
"Hi." Willow smiled as her tired eyes looking around. "Did I miss something big?" She watched as Giles and Madalene came back through to look at her.
"We have an alien in Sunnydale." Buffy offered just to see if she could stop everyone staring at Willow.
"Nope Wills, its just another average day with the Scooby gang." Xander laughed and looked at the Slayer in disbelief.
"How are you feeling Willow?" Giles was the one to ask the so far unasked question as he sat down on a chair and looked over to the red head with loving concern.
"I feel..." Willow started to answer and then stopped pondering it for a moment as everyone held a collective breath. "I feel okay." She blinked and smiled at him.
The smile that spread across each and every person in the room was stunningly bright.
"Actually I'm hungry." She admitted pushing up to sit a little straighter.
Tara shivered slightly against the slight night chill as she sat on the top step of the front porch taking a moment to enjoy the quiet. She'd slipped out while the gang were playing a game of cards around the dining room table and though she'd only been gone about five minutes but she was already feeling the need to go back and check on Willow.
There was something about the stars and the scent of honeysuckle in the night air that kept her there as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"It's pretty out here." Willow whispered as she sat down next to Tara almost silently so the blonde had no way to know she was coming.
"It is." Tara felt a shiver of pleasure race down her spine.
"Are you cold?" Willow reached up and put her arm around Tara's back. Tara shook her head and then tilted to rest it onto Willow's shoulder amazed at simply how good it felt to be sitting together. "Everyone seems happier." Willow admitted softly leaning more into Tara's body.
"They do." Tara agreed her voice soft. "But then they would."
"For the first time in my life I don't understand much of what is going on but tonight I don't care." Willow hugged Tara closer. "I just want to sit with my girl."
"And she wants to sit with you." Tara assured her girlfriend. "And to hold you and never let go." She added slipping her arms around Willow and did just as she said.
"I'm never letting you go again." Willow smiled feeling contentment in her head and heart that she hadn't felt in so very long.
"I love you Willow, all of you." Tara shifted a little in Willows arms tilting her head to look into green eyes.
"I love you too." Willow whispered leaning down as Tara pressed up a little and briefly let their lips brush together.
"Who's winning?" She asked when the kiss eased apart and she nestled in close.
"Dawn I think, Buffy's too distracted." Willow hugged her tightly. "And Xander never was good at cookie poker. He always eats his winnings."
"Do you want to go back in and join them?" The blonde asked not wanting to really move but willing to if Willow did.
"Not unless you want too." She shook her head a little.
"Would it be selfish of me to say I like it just where I am right now?"
"No, it's just what I'm thinking." Willow smiled and kissed into blonde hair.
"Do you think we could take another look at the photo album some time?" Tara asked closing her eyes.
"I would really like that and get a bigger album so we can fill it up too." Willow encouraged.
"And maybe have some older pictures in it, you know of when you were younger." Tara smiled to herself.
"I was such a geek." Willow giggled lightly.
"I'm sure I would have loved you then as much as I do now." Tara assured her with a special smile.
"And how are you so sure?" Willow appraised looking at her curious.
"Because." Tara paused looking for the right answer. "Because younger or older, you're still my Willow." Tara decided upon the simple words as she leaned up again for a kiss. Willow met her girlfriend's lips happily and above them the stars shone brightly.
Fade to black… The End… Grrr Arrg
