Author's Note: I don't want anyone to think I hate Loke or anything, but I was really interested by Karen's character so I wrote this.
xxx
"Mommy, what's that?"
"That's a Celestial Spirit Key, Karen."
"What's that?"
Her mother thought. Karen took more after her father in looks; her mother was short with feathery brown hair. But she was always very patient.
"It's like…a friend."
"A friend?"
"Yes, a special magical friend."
Karen bit her lip. "The others…don't wanna be my friends."
"Ah, but these ones are different," Her mother smiled. "No matter what, they'll always stand by you. Even if you're mean to them. They will never desert you."
Karen let her mother pull her away from the Magic Crafts store, but inside, she was changed.
And that was her first memory.
x
Or maybe it was the fighting.
"If you're not even going to care for your daughter then why do you bother coming home?!"
"I don't have to be here, you know!"
"Oh yeah, go back to your slut! Some example you're setting-!"
"I'm setting a bad example?!"
Karen would sit up in her room, brooding.
Sometimes, when she saw children hugging their parents in the street, her blood just boiled over.
Why do they get to be happy? She bit her lip. Why do they get to have a family? I want a family too. I want it just as much as them.
x
Even if you're mean to them. They will never desert you.
x
"You're new around here, aren't you?"
Karen smiled at her drink without looking up. "I bet you say that to all the girls."
She turned and flicked a strand of her long green hair over her shoulder coyly. "I know this is a host club, but don't get the wrong idea. I'm just waiting for my friends."
"Don't be like that." The stranger who had approached her was by far the best looking man in the room with his golden hair and sea-colored eyes. He had a quick smile that gave the impression of actual wit beyond his pretty boy exterior. "I just want to talk."
"Oh yes," Karen sighed. "In my experience, that's all men want."
He laughed and held out his hand. "Hibiki Lates."
"Karen Lilica." She took his hand.
"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"
"Yes." Karen replied. "Next question?"
Hibiki grinned and reached into his coat pocket to pull out a thin strip of white paper. "I know you're just waiting for your friends and everything…"
"Mm?" Karen sipped her drink.
"But maybe you'd call me?" He handed her the paper with his number scrawled upon it.
Karen felt a little thrill of joy, but outwardly shrugged.
"I'll think about it."
"That's all I ask."
x
Karen was someone who had always believed that love was difficult, as children of broken families often do.
Not only that, but she had entered the world cynical and gorgeous and life had just laid down beneath her feet and allowed her what she demanded of it.
She expected to be obeyed and refused to let anyone see her cry.
Hibiki somehow understood that immediately.
We can stand back now and wonder if him giving her everything she wanted was a good or bad thing.
Should she have been spoilt still?
Should she have been made to become more of a selfless, compassionate person?
Perhaps people should be forced to change?
Or, at least, people like Karen.
But she was already who she was and all Hibiki wanted was her happiness.
He liked her nerve and her quick wit and was even strangely attracted to the sadistic streak within her.
Karen ranged from light-hearted and laughing to brooding and dark.
He loved all of her moods, even if they swung rapidly from one to the other without a break.
And it wasn't as if she was without clumsy human qualities.
Like, for example, for Christmas, a home-making mood took her and Karen attempted to cook Christmas dinner.
Hibiki never forget how red she was as they sat down to eat.
"You don't have to eat it," She muttered, not looking at him. "I know. I screwed it up."
"No, no," He had insisted. "I love it! Especially this black pudding-!"
"That's the turkey."
He knew how much she wanted to become a Celestial mage.
So far, she only had starter keys that you could buy in any shop and he had recently joined the guild Blue Pegasus.
On one of his missions, he found just what she was looking for.
"Karen!" He called as soon as he got home. They now shared a small, but comfortable house on the nice side of town. They had already thrown around the prospect of marriage.
Hibiki was for it, Karen was against.
"I'm not the marrying type." She said, trying to be blasé about it. But Hibiki had heard the slight tone of sadness in her voice.
"What is it?" Karen came downstairs, her green hair up, dressed in a blue smock. She had recently begun writing articles for a fashion magazine and was in her 'writer's gear' now with her small writing glasses (which she hated and only wore in front of him) perched on her nose.
"I have a surprise, my love." Hibiki leaned forward and kissed her.
Karen smiled. "Oh?"
"You'll never guess what."
"Another necklace? Clothes?"
"Even better."
"Not possible."
"Oh," Hibiki produced the Celestial Spirit keys of Leo and Aries. "But I think it is."
Karen's mouth fell open.
"Well?" He smiled.
"Oh my-! Hibiki!" Karen threw her arms around him. "This is-! Just-! I-!"
Hibiki laughed, elated at her happiness. "I haven't summoned them yet. It's up to you to make a contract with them."
Karen held the keys carefully in her hands. "D-do you think I'm ready?"
"I think you're more than ready, love. You're an excellent Celestial mage."
"But…well, I've never had spirits of this caliber before. What if…" She glanced away and her voice got smaller. "What if they reject me?"
It was unusual for Karen to display such a lack of self-confidence, but Hibiki knew just how much this meant to her.
She had been waiting all her life for this.
He put an arm around her shoulders. "The thing about Celestial Spirits," He said. "Is that no matter what, they'll always protect you."
"Even if…I'm not good enough?"
"Even if you weren't good enough, they would never leave your side."
x
"Hey Hibiki," Lewis, an ex-host who had also joined Blue Pegasus, approached him as Hibiki sat at the bar after another grueling mission. "Good quest?"
Hibiki sighed. "I guess. I'm kinda worn out now, though."
"Hi, Hibiki!" Two Blue Pegasus girls waved at him.
"Hey, ladies." Hibiki winked, immediately snapping into 'host club Hibiki' mode as they passed.
Lewis smirked. "Still popular as ever."
"Why thank you." Hibiki grinned.
"But listen, I think you should talk to Karen."
Hibiki frowned. "Why? What's up?"
"Master Bob wanted to talk to you too-"
"What's wrong?" Hibiki half-rose. "Is it Karen? What's happened?!"
"Calm down, man. She's fine."
Hibiki sat back down with a sigh. "Don't do that to me, Lewis. You scared me."
"Yeah, well, it is about Karen. A couple of us are kinda concerned about her and her spirits."
"Why?" Hibiki frowned. "My girl's a sensation. She's completed all her missions successfully, all the magic magazines want an exclusive interview with her and-"
"It's the way she's treating Aries."
Hibiki stared at him.
"Look, I didn't want to say anything, but there's something not right about it, Hibiki. She uses her as a shield, she makes her entertain guys, sometimes she leaves her too long in the human world…!" Lewis trailed off, making it clear that he could go on but in the end he just shook his head.
Hibiki played with his drink. "Well, I agree it's not right that they should be treated so harshly, but…Karen…well, Karen is complicated. Even when she loves something she has a hard time-"
"Look," Lewis had obviously already picked his side in the argument. "Just talk to her, okay? Master Bob isn't happy."
Hibiki nodded. "Okay, I'll talk to her."
x
"Karen?"
Karen looked up as Hibiki entered the living room. There was an odd look on her face.
"Hey." She said.
"Karen, I've been hearing some things."
"Nice to see you after all this time too."
Hibiki came to sit by her. "Are you angry because I'm always on missions?"
Karen looked away. "I know you can't help it. What I can't stand is seeing you flirt with girls when you come back." She glared under her eyelashes at him. "Don't you love me?"
"Of course I love you."
"How much?"
"More than anything." He said quietly. "But Karen, you flirt with a lot of men too."
Karen slowly turned towards him and grasped his tie. "What are you trying to say?" She said calmly.
"Just that-"
"I'll do. What I. Want." Karen stood and produced her Aries key. With a flick of her wrist, the spirit was summoned.
"Karen-sama!" Aries jumped. "I'm sorry!"
"You haven't done anything yet." Hibiki and Karen muttered.
"I'm sorry!" Aries squeaked.
"Get me a drink." Karen said. "Quickly. Wine, I think."
"That's hardly a reason to call a spirit." Hibiki protested.
Karen laughed. "I just adore the obsession people seem to have with spirit rights these days. They're meant to obey everything you say- that's what a spirit is. If they can't even do that then what's the point in them? Tell me that!"
Hibiki shook his head. "You're not yourself, Karen."
"This is how I've always been!" Karen snapped.
Did nobody tell you, Hibiki? I'm ugly on the inside. I've always been ugly; you could just never see it. There's no cure for it.
Karen bit her lip and turned away.
x
When she was a child, Karen had always imagined summoning her spirits to comfort her.
"I think it's best if I leave for a while." Hibiki had said.
Karen had just looked at him blankly. "Okay then. Go."
He had looked at her with such agony in his eyes that it made her blood boil.
He was the one leaving; there was no need to look at her in such a way.
In the early hours of the morning, Karen sat cross-legged on her bed and held her keys in her hand.
Aries could offer no words of intelligence or comfort unless all Karen was looking for was to be apologized to a dozen times.
So she summoned Loke.
As soon as the sign of Leo appeared, Karen regretting calling him. It was obvious he was upset with her.
But she was upset too and on the verge of an apology, which would be very much unlike her.
But who am I kidding? I'm all alone now.
"Loke-"
"Stop summoning us," Loke snapped. "If all you're going to do is abuse us."
Karen fell silent.
"Especially Aries. It's too much, Karen."
Karen buried her face in her hands. Another person yelling at her- just what she needed.
I'm so confused. She wanted to say. I'm damaged, tainted, evil- whatever you want to call it. I've made terrible decisions and I'm selfish. I always need to be in charge. Everyone has left me. Can I have one more person to listen to my selfish words? Can I just have one more person so I can change myself? I want to change, I do. Just stop yelling at me.
"Are you listening?" Loke, who was through with patience, yelled. "Karen- this is important. One more act like the ones you keep pulling and I'm done. We're done. I'll force you to drop our contract."
Those words almost brought tears to Karen's eyes. She had to fight hard to will them away.
"So," She whispered. "You'll leave me too?"
"What?" Loke said, but Karen had already closed his gate.
Mom, dad, Hibiki, Loke, Aries…
I don't want to be left with no one. I keep driving everyone away and yet I don't want to be alone. What kind of shit is that?
For the first time in forever, Karen cried.
She thought of a way she could change herself, but her own personality was getting in the way.
The anger, the hate, the injustice had already taken over and Karen Lilica fell deeper into the darkness she had created for herself.
x
It had been a long day and Karen had tried to mistakenly talk to Aries in order to get closer to her.
She thought that maybe if she felt closer to them, she'd no longer abuse them.
"So," She had tried. "What's your favourite type of music?"
"I'm sorry!"
"…Okay, your favourite food?"
"I'm sorry!"
"Do you like anything?"
"I'm sorry!"
"…I'm just going to close your gate now, okay?"
"I'm sorry!"
Me too. Karen thought. Sorry I ever accepted you as a Celestial Spirit.
She hadn't talked to Loke in a while and had no desire to once again take up their conversation.
She returned to Blue Pegasus and sighed when her latest harem surrounded her the second she walked in. Ever since she had split with Hibiki they had fallen on her like a pack of hyenas.
"Sorry, boys," She winked. "I'm off to the spa straight after this; I can't possibly drink with you today."
"But Karen-chan!" They whined.
Karen sighed inwardly. I'm way too tired right now to do this.
With a sweep of her arm, she summoned Aries.
"Did you call for me? I'm sorry!"
"Yay!" The harem cried. "Aries-chan!"
Karen rolled her eyes. Perhaps men really did prefer stupid women.
"I'm not a spirit for entertaining men…" Aries muttered.
Karen glared at her. The first proper thing you say to me in a month is a criticism?! Is this a joke?!
"Are you disobeying my order, huh?" She asked coldly.
"I'm sorry!" Aries squeaked.
Karen breezed past Hibiki, who hadn't taken his eyes off her once since she entered, to sit at the bar.
"When spirits talk back to their masters, what's the world coming to?" She muttered.
"But, you are quite harsh with your spirits," Master Bob said from behind the bar. "Like when you use them as shields. They do suffer for you."
Karen bit back a bitter laugh. Suffer? They know nothing about suffering. I'd rather suffer an attack than- But she cut off her thoughts.
I am strong. She thought.
"Suffering? Spirits can't feel things like that, they're just tools!" She burst out in sudden anger.
"Spirits are living things!" Master Bob turned on her furiously. "Mistreat them and you'll be the one suffering next!"
Karen stared at him in shock and betrayal.
Another person who only knows how to yell at me.
x
Karen was slowly losing her senses.
Everyone was gone, her spirits wanted to go. Even part of her wanted to leave herself.
Who wanted to be around an unpredictable bitch?
Loke, of course, intervened when Karen lost control completely and attempted to punish Aries by making her stay in the human world for seven days.
Karen knew she didn't have that kind of power and her spirits knew too, but Loke was angry by now.
He looked at her with an anger that made her realize that he had already left in his mind.
She was on her own already.
When everyone is against you, you tend to turn against everyone in return.
"If you rethink letting us go from our contract," Loke turned away towards the door. "I'll be waiting at the old abandoned church."
If Karen hadn't snapped already, she did then.
Even if you're mean to them. They will never desert you.
Liars. She thought.
When even Celestial Spirits refuse to stay with you- you know you're screwed up.
And that thought made her crack one small smile.
x
"You're new around here, aren't you?"
Hibiki?!
Karen turned round at the bar sharply, but it was just another loner, smiling at her lecherously.
"Guess you could say that." She smiled.
She had given up trying to get Loke back.
'Screw him' was her attitude towards the bastard now.
"You seem way too pretty to be alone."
Karen laughed. "You're the only one that seems to think so."
"Are you always alone?"
Karen's smile never wavered, but her tone had changed. "Always." She said.
x
The day Karen died, Hibiki woke up feeling awful.
It was the first time he had been sick all his life.
As for Loke, he woke feeling much better than he had done before.
He was now able to tolerate the human world without feeling nauseous.
Karen, meanwhile, was paying no attention to Angel as the woman watched her die.
"Think I'll take this!" Angel laughed, sweeping the Aries key off of the ground.
Karen managed one laugh. "Good…luck…" She said.
She didn't want that to be her last word, but didn't know what else to say.
She knew already that if there was a Heaven, there was a good chance she wasn't going to it.
She didn't want to die.
Then, one more thought crossed her mind. "Hibiki…" She said.
And that was her last word.
x
They made a grave for her at the foot of the great waterfall and one on the grounds of Blue Pegasus, by the rose benches were she used to sit.
No matter how busy he was, Hibiki visited as often as he could.
It's hard to fall out of love, but with him, it was an impossibility.
Here Lies Karen Lilica
She Was the Mistress of All She Set Eyes On and of All Who Set Eyes On Her