Disclaimer: the entire Kingdom Hearts franchise belongs to Square Enix and Disney.

I fail at Axel/Sora. I really, really do.

repetition;

The first time Axel meets Sora, he's eighteen and all he can think of is blonde hair and beige skin, the gold brought out in both from the reddish-orange light from the sunset of a town too far and too different from Traverse Town for them to be there. Then the brief moment of sunset in the dark town fades, and Sora's a brunet with a big smile on his face instead of a frown. The eyes are too happy, but the brightness is the same and Axel finds himself introducing himself to the boy.

Instead of the scowl he'd been expecting, Sora's all smiles and laughter and asking Axel to join him and the silver-haired youth and the redheaded girl across from him in the booth of the restaurant.

Axel humors the three all night with witty puns, and when Sora accidently brushes up against his leg, Axel can't help but remember a warm hand sliding up his thigh and wet lips pressing at his neck.

When they finally part ways, Sora steals his phone and quickly enters his number into Axel's phone book, and Axel's into his own. He's a sweet kid, Axel thinks when Sora gives him a quick hug and rushes off to join his friends.

X X X

The next time Axel meets Sora, he's twenty and all he can think of are deep blue eyes and thick lashes, slightly teared up and bleary from just waking up in the morning in the pale light streaming in through windows of an apartment in a town too far away and too different from Hollow Bastion for them to be there. Then the tears spill over Sora's lashes and he's blubbering about how long it's been and oh god, he missed Axel even though he'd only met him once. The voice is too emotional, but the slight huskiness is the same and Axel finds himself pulling the boy into a slight hug.

Instead of the recoiling he'd been expecting, Sora hugs him back and bawls into his shoulder in the middle of the fucking street and is laughing and grinning and babbling all at the same time.

Axel grins and entertains the boy all afternoon with stories of what he's been up to, and when Sora eats a dozen doughnuts and asks for more, Axel can't help but remember a warm, familiar voice asking the same thing while wiping glaze off his lips with the back of his hand, careful to avoid the checkered band Axel had given him.

When they finally part ways, Sora ends up stealing his gloves because he'd forgotten his own and doesn't remember to return them to Axel at the end of the day. He's a cute kid, Axel thinks when Sora hugs him long and hard on his doorstep and then rushes inside.

X X X

The third time Axel meets Sora, he's still twenty and it's only been two days and all he can think of is a voice laced with ribbons of honey and sarcasm, whispering insults and words of affection in a closet in a town too far away and too different from Hollow Bastion for them to be there. Then a higher-pitched, more boyish voice begins to speak. The words are too sincere, too concise and not quite lilted enough to be right, but the speed and consistency with which the words are delivered is the same and Axel finds himself listening to every word the boy says.

Instead of the ranting about problems of society and people and the shit he's used to, random things spew from Sora's mouth and he's talking first about the blitzball tournament and how the Besaid Aurochs have to win and then about the restoration being done to the old castle and how Hollow Bastion's most notorious gang, the Heartless, seemed to be expanding their territory and he was freaked out about it.

Axel gives his occasional response to each question Sora asks, and when Sora finally stops talking and gulps down his soda and throws back his head to give back a content sigh and reveals his creamy neck and Adam's apple, Axel can't help but remember a tanner, glistening throat above prominent clavicles, bruised with love bites and a satisfied moan escaping that throat.

When they finally part ways, Sora returns his gloves and tells Axel he's free next weekend too. He's still a high school kid, Axel thinks when Sora hugs him tightly and he feels the standard uniform tie of the local school district pressing against his chest.

X X X

The fiftieth time Axel meets Sora, he's twenty one and all he can think of are black and white and red clothes that looked better draped on a lithe body than on wire hangers in a closet in town too far and too different from Hollow Bastion for them to be there. Then he the bright blue and red finally permeates his vision. The colors are too glaringly bright and the pants are too baggy and the shoes are too athletic and the cloth is too thin, but the sense of good style is the same and Axel finds himself telling this boy he ought to cut down on the red and try duller colors for once.

Instead of the retorts and the "fuck off" he'd been expecting, Sora actually tilts his head and purses his lips and nods, saying he'll consider it sometime.

Axel nods and smirks and points to the Hot Topic across the street and says that those clothes are nice, Sora should try shopping there sometime, and when Sora freaks out and starts giving excuses of why he shouldn't, Axel can't help but think of an embarrassed, blushing face spelling out reasons why Axel should never ever wear such tight pants again without a shirt on.

When they finally part ways, Sora tells Axel it's been exactly two years since they first met and that his birthday is coming up in two weeks and it'd be great if he could be there. He's eighteen and still a kid, Axel thinks when Sora tells him he adds a keychain to his collection every year and he's got seventeen right now, then hugs him and runs to meet his best friend for a sleepover.

X X X

The eightieth time Axel meets Sora, he's just turned twenty two and all he can think of are rough, calloused hands and long slender fingers twining with his own on a couch in an apartment in a town too far away and too different from Radiant Garden (the town was recently renamed) for them to be there. Then a pair of soft hands touches his bare arms and tugs at him to sit down by the coffee table. The fingers are a bit too fleshy and the palms are too warm, but the basic structure and the feel are the same and Axel finds himself holding them in consolation as the boy sobs.

Instead of the pulling away he'd been expecting, Sora actually grips them tighter and cries about how he's gay and he likes his best friend and he told him, but got rejected and probably lost the friend and now he's all alone now.

Axel for once has no words for him except "it's okay" and "I'm here", cheesy words that he'd normally never utter except to one other person, and when Sora seems to calm down but still buries his wet face in Axel's neck and whispers a small "thank you", Axel can't help but remember a softer, huskier voice and breath coming from a mouth that murmured things against that very same spot.

When they finally part ways, Sora's no longer crying and is almost smiling again. He's an okay kid, Axel thinks when he wraps his arms around Sora first and pats his back with a grin and then the boy rushes off to get back to his dorm.

X X X

The ninety-seventh time Axel meets Sora, he's twenty two and it's almost Christmas and all he can think of are a pair of pink lips wrapping around a straw in a cafe in a town too far and too different from Radiant Garden for them to be there. Then another mouth starts moving and Sora is babbling on and on and on. The lips are too full and the dip in them is too deep, but Axel finds himself leaning over and kissing the boy.

Instead of the responding to the kiss he'd been expecting, Sora pushes Axel away and stares at him for a moment.

Axel buries his face between his hands and stands, muttering an apology that he doesn't really mean and leaves his own apartment, and when Sora doesn't call after him, Axel can't help but remember a cold hand weakly gripping his and then falling limp as a high-pitched beep filled the air, not wavering.

They've already parted ways.

X X X

The ninety-eighth time Axel meets Sora, it's after New Year's and he's turning twenty three in a week and all he can think of is a shocked face in a closet during a party in a town too far and too different from Radiant Garden for them to be there. Then a face so similar to the one Axel was thinking of appears on his doorstep. The cheeks are too round, the lips are too different, the forehead is a bit too domed, but the facial structure is the same and Axel finds himself opening the door for the boy.

Instead of simply standing there and asking what had happened like he'd been expecting, Sora barges in and makes himself at home on Axel's couch and asks for a drink and a snack and it's only after he turns on the TV and has finished his soda and popcorn that he asks Axel why he'd kissed him.

Axel leans against the wall and lights a cigarette, smoking as the two sit in silence. When he finally stubs it out and lights up another, he sits down on the other couch and begins to tell Sora the tale of two fourteen year old boys.

One was a juvenile delinquent and the other was a boy with good grades and a happy family. One was tall and looked his age, with wild red hair that fit his personality, and one was short and still looked about twelve, with flaxen blonde locks that looked like pure gold in the light of the sunset. The shorter was the other's tutor, he explains, and they really hated each other at first. Then they slowly became best friends and one began to fall for the other. Maybe it was the party when they were fifteen where they were locked in a closet and hormones ran wild.

But when they were sixteen, the shorter was hospitalized due to a heart problem the doctors had never noticed and it was too late to save him. The boy slowly became weaker and weaker, and finally, whispered his last words to the other while gripping his hand as tightly as he could. "I love you", he'd said.

Axel slumps over as he finishes and feels Sora's hand squeezing his knee. He swallows hard and grinds out that Sora looks just like him. Makes him feel the same.

And Sora sighs and leans forward and wraps his arms around Axel, pulling the redhead's head to his shoulder. Axel finds the strength to wrap his arms around Sora's waist.

Sora smells like sugar and popcorn, not salt and vanilla, and he's a little too skinny, but for a moment, Axel pretends that he has Roxas in his arms again, just one last time.

end

OH GOD I HATE MY REPETITIVENESS.

So, comments? Questions? Want to say I suck? Go right ahead.