Chapter 1

Silence.

That's what hung in the air as he stood on one side of the door and she stood on the other.

What now?

Who crosses the threshold first?

Or does anyone?

So many choices, all leading to the breaking point they both saw coming…

2 HOURS EARLIER

Detective Kate Beckett wearily placed her pen on her desk and shuffled her case folders together into a barely organized pile. Her partner, Richard Castle was just finishing erasing the whiteboard and removing the pictures and newspaper clippings from their most recent case. He turned away from his task when he heard Kate exhale deeply.

"Everything alright?" he asked in a tone of interest and concern.

She turned her head towards him. "Yeah, I'm good Castle. Just looking forward to having a few peaceful hours away from corpses and mentally deranged sociopaths", she answered with a wry smile.

He returned her smile and his eyes crinkled at the corners as he nodded his head in agreement. However, the smile slipped from his face as he turned back to the whiteboard. He felt….unsettled. She was always running off on her own, dealing with things on her own. And he accepted her for that. He knew Kate Beckett very well now after working alongside her for 4 years. She was independent, to say the absolute least. He just worried that her walls would never weaken and she would never truly be happy. All Richard Castle wanted in the world (next to the continued positive sales of his books) was for Kate Beckett to be content with her life and to stay out of harm's way. But with this woman, he had better keep hoping.

He turned around for the second time when he heard chair legs scraping along the floor. Kate was on her feet, stretching her arms over her head. She reached for her jacket and glanced at Rick.

"You coming, Castle?"

"Of course Detective."

Together, they walked out of the 12th precinct and ambled towards the parking garage. It was a clear night in New York City. The few stars that were actually visible in the cerulean sky twinkled as they strolled along in comfortable silence. Upon reaching their cars, the pair turned to say their goodbyes. And when their eyes met, something strange occurred. An electric charge crackled through the few feet of air in between them. The atmosphere was suddenly filled with a forbidden allure.

It had been exactly 5 months since Beckett was shot. She was still healing, still in therapy. And Castle was aware of this. He knew how fragile she still was. How much she desperately wanted to solve her mother's murder. But what he also knew was that he loved her. He loved her in every way that it is possible to love someone. He loved her perfect smile that her parents had put so much money into. He adored her wavy brown locks and the hint of cherry that he could smell on them. He cherished her range of emotions, ones that he was privy to. He simply worshipped Katherine Beckett. It was no secret, and it hadn't been for quite some time. Almost everyone they worked with knew. Many others they had crossed paths with throughout his shadowing of her had assumed it. His mother could tell, as could his daughter. The only person who never wanted to acknowledge it, was Kate herself. This hurt him, killed him. Weakened him as a man. Made him want to get on his knees and plead with her to see reason, to realize that he could make her so happy. He could make her almost whole again. But he kept quiet. He didn't tell her, was careful to avoid the subject altogether. Because it was better to have a quiet hope then to have all his dreams crushed completely if she rejected him because he had pushed her too hard.

Kate gazed into Rick's face as he stood looking at her. What was he thinking? Why didn't he just say "see you tomorrow" and leave? It was easy that way. She had enough sleepless nights over the look in his eyes as it was. She was a haunted individual. Her mother's death, her own shooting, her father's alcoholism. Kate Beckett knew she had to be strong. For her own sake, as well as others'. She had been afraid to depend on another her entire life. She never gave her heart to anyone. She was wary of love. Hell, she didn't know if she'd ever actually experienced love. She had been in way too many dead end relationships to be sure. In fact, the most constant man in her life was Castle. "God, how pathetic is that?" she thought to herself. Not that he was pathetic, but that she was pathetic enough to not tell him the truth after all this time. Yes, she had heard his confession on the day she had almost died. Yes, she remembered everything. Yes, she loved him too. But she would never tell him. It was too dangerous. It wouldn't work. They didn't belong together. He wasn't right for her. She wasn't ready. So many reasons. But were they valid?

"Well…..have a nice night Castle", she said simply to interrupt her own train of thoughts.

He looked up from his own reverie. "Oh, uh, night Beckett", he responded in a bewildered tone.

Then, in that moment, he reached for her. He opened his arms, optimistically. She looked at him shock and confusion at first. Then, slowly, she leaned into his hug. She awkwardly patted his back, trying to ignore the churning of her stomach and the warmth that had suddenly flooded her body. Blushing, she pulled away.

"See you tomorrow?"

He smiled at her, with a hint of sadness. "Always."

Nodding briskly, she quickly entered her car and put the key in the ignition. Before pulling out of her spot, she glanced up to watch his retreating figure. Only after he reached his own car did she drive away.