Fly to the Angels, a yu-gi-oh fanfic

Fly to the Angels

Did you ever wonder how Bakura feels about Ryou and what would happen if he were to lose his hikari? And what about Ryou? Does he truly love Bakura? Read and see...

Disclaimer: Don't own anything (or anyone) from Yugioh (sobs...) Don't own anything from Slaughter either

/Bakura to Ryou/

Pictures of you--
oh, they're still on my mind--
you had the smile--
that could light up the world--
now it rains--
it seems the sun never shines--
and I drive--
down--
this lonely lonely road--
oooo I got this feelin'-

I gotta let you go--

'cause now you've got to fly--
fly to the angels--
heaven awaits your heart--
and flowers bloom in your name--
you've got to fly--
fly to the angels--
all the stars in the night--
shine in your name--

though it hurts me--
way deep inside--
when I took a look--
and found that you're not there--
I tried to convince myself--
that the PAIN--
the PAIN is still not gone--
but still I drive--
down--
this lonely lonely road--
oo I got this feeling-

I gotta let you go--

and still I drive --
down--
this lonely lonely road--
oo I got this feelin' --
oh--
I can't let you go--
but I know that you've got to fly--
fly to the angels--
heaven awaits your heart--
and flowers bloom in your name--
you've gotta fly--
fly to the angels--
all the stars in the sky--
shine in your name

The door squeaked slightly as the doctor opened it and stepped into the dimly litroom. Automatically, my eyes focused on his face searching for answers. My heart skipped a beat at the look of regret hidden underneath the layer of professionalism.

"Mr. Bakura?" The doctor whispered, not wanting to wake Ryou. I stood and followed him out into the hallway, where we could talk without disturbing my sleeping lover.

For a few moments, Dr. Sunaki stared at the chart he held before looking me straight in the eye. "I'm sorry. There is nothing we can do now. Without a heart transplant, he has no chance of survival."

The ground shifted underneath my feet; I placed my shaking hands on the wall to steady myself. Tears burned my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Not here, not now. I was the infamous thief king, the ruthless tomb robber. I couldn't break down here. I swallowed hard and forced myself to remain calm. "How long?"

He shook his head sadly. "Two, maybe three days."

My mind rebelled. Two or three days! I wanted to scream, to break something, to hurt somebody. Anything to release the pain and anger that was filling my soul. "I'm taking him home. If there is nothing that can be done, he's going to spend his last days at home."

Turning, I opened the door and unhooked all the equipment from my angel. Lifting his frail body, I carefully carried him out to my car. I placed him gently on the backseat, a tear dropping onto his beautiful pale face. I wiped the offending wetness from my eyes. I had to be strong.

I placed my hikari on our bed, the bed where we spent so many hours just holding each other and planning our future. We shared so many of our dreams and hopes here. I removed my boots and jeans and stretched out beside Ryou, pulling him into my embrace. I ran my fingers through his silky hair and along the cool smooth skin of his beautiful face. Knowing that our time together was drawing to a close, I vowed to spend every minute with him.

I was still holding him several hours later when he awoke. "Kura?"

I smiled at my koi. "I'm here, tenshi."

"How did I get here?" He looked around, seeing that he was at home. "What am I doing at home?"

I leaned over and kissed his lips softly. "I brought you home late last night. The doctor said I could." I didn't want to tell him any more than that. I made another vow that his last few days of life would be happy. Even though I was screaming inside, I would not, could not, let him know how shattered I was at the thought of living my life without him.

A sweet smile lit up his face, his innocent eyes shining with love as he looked up at me. I tried to smile back, but I couldn't. The pain inside my heart prevented it. Against my will, tears welled up in my eyes. Determinedly, I blinked them back, struggling for control of my emotions.

He raised his hand and caressed my cheek. "It's okay Kura. I know that I don't have much time left." He leaned up and kissed me. "It's okay," he repeated.

I stood up and clenched my fists. I had never felt such rage. I had never felt so helpless in my very long life. Death was the one enemy that I couldn't defeat. Still, I had to try to control myself for Ryou's sake. I regained my self-control and once again faced my soulmate. "You're right my tenshi no hikari. Would you like to go downstairs?"

At his answering nod, I gathered him up into my arms and carried him downstairs and placed him on the couch. After making sure he was comfortable, I went into the kitchen and prepared breakfast for him, cooking his favorite cinnamon and apple oatmeal.

While he was eating, I called Yugi. The diminutive boy was Ryou's oldest friend and I genuinely cared about him, even though his millenium partner was the baka pharaoh, Atemu. I told him that Ryou was at home and there was nothing more that could be done for him. His heart was simply worn out. If only he had told me, or any of us, sooner about his problem, then maybe he could have been saved. But he had explained to us that he didn't want us to know because he feared that we would either treat him like a piece of fragile porcelain or we would simply shy away from him and leave him alone. So now, it's all of us, his friends, the people that love him, that will be left alone except for the memories.

By noon, all of our closest friends had gathered in our living room. Ryou, exhausted, was upstairs taking a nap. I let everyone know that there was to be no crying in front of my hikari; I would personally make anyone who upset my koibito suffer pain beyond their imagination.

The next two days passed too swiftly for me; I don't really remember much about them. The despair in my heart, my soul was too overwhelming. Strangely, it was the baka pharaoh that helped me the most. He had nearly lost Yugi six months earlier and so therefore he had some understanding of the mental and emotional anguish I was suffering.

It was the evening of the second night that I realized there were only a few hours left for my tenshi. Wrapping him in a thin blanket, I cradled him to me and carried him out onto the balcony where we could watch the sunset. Tranquility reigned as the sun sank slowly in the horizon, painting the sky in beautiful hues which slowly darkened to a deep blue-black studded with an infinite number of twinkling lights.

My gentle koi stirred in my arms. "What is it, hikari?" There was no response. Alarmed, I leaned my head down, relaxing slightly as I felt a soft breath drift across my cheek. "Ryou? Koi? Can you hear me?" Against my will, tears began to seep from my eyes as I realized that he had gone somewhere that I couldn't follow and he wasn't able to answer me. My hands clutched him tighter as the awareness that our time together was rapidly coming to an end.

There was so much I had wanted to say; feelings I wished I had the courage to say to him. I had never fully expressed the depth of my devotion and my love for him. Even when I had deliberately inflicted pain on him, my love for my tenshi no hikari was boundless and timeless. It would last for all eternity. I needed to confess how much he meant to me. I smiled through my tears. He may be beyond responding to the sound of my voice, but I could still communicate through our mind-link.

/Ryou. My beautiful tenshi. My koibito. No one, not even you, my hikari, understand the depth of my devotion and my love for you. You are more than my aibou. You are the other half of me; the purest part of my soul./ I paused, giving in to the undeniable need to kiss his pale lips gently.

/You changed me. When you awoke my Spirit in the Sennen Ring, I was angry, bitter, and full of hate. I thought you were a weak and worthless vessel. I hurt you: physically, mentally, and emotionally. Yet, no matter how badly I treated you, you never abandoned me./

/The night I stole your innocence was when I began to change. I'll never forget that moment. You looked up at me, your bruised cheeks tear-stained; your dark chocolate eyes full of pain and unshed tears. Your swollen and bleeding lips moved slightly, your voice barely above a whisper. You spoke one word; a word that I never imagined hearing from anyone: aishiteru./

/That softly spoken declaration cracked the ice which encased my heart. I couldn't believe it. How could you possibly love me? I had done nothing except treat you with contempt. I had beaten you, tortured you, threatened to kill you. I didn't deserve your love./ I paused, aware of the subtle stirring of his mind through the link. Grateful, I mentally embraced him, smiling through my tears as he weakly returned the gesture.

/You showed me all the wonders to be found in this world. You took such joy in everything. My darkness never tainted your innocence, your pleasure in the simple things in life./

I brushed his soft silky hair away from his face. Reverently I traced the contours of his face, my fingers memorizing the texture of his flawless skin. /I never told you, but my favorite activity was watching you sleep. Many times I would hold you in my arms and study your beautiful face as you dreamed. You always looked so peaceful, my tenshi. I would gently stroke your pale skin, softer than the finest silk. And your hair. I would bury my face in the thick silvery strands inhaling the scent of you. I would brush it away from your flawless perfection loving the way the moonlight illuminated your porcelain skin./

/It was you, my beloved hikari, that pushed me to make peace with my former mortal enemy, the Pharaoh. Thanks to you, I have made many good friends. I know they only accepted me because of you. And who could blame them? When I first emerged from the ring, I was still the cruel heartless tomb robber determined to have my revenge on my enemies./ I marveled at the changes my beloved tenshi had wrought; not only in me, but also my former enemies. Everyone loved him so much, that they were willing to make peace in order to make him happy. How could I possibly live without his kindness, his capacity for forgiveness and love?

/Your goodness and forgiveness pushed the evil and hate from my heart. It was your love that saved me. For that gift, I owe you more than I can possibly ever repay. If it was possible, I would trade places with you. If I thought that you would accept it, I would gladly sacrifice my life so you could take my heart and live. But I know you would never let me do that./

I kissed him again. I couldn't resist the temptation of those alluring lips, his soft breath mingling with mine. /Your love is a gift; the most unexpected, most precious gift of all. I'm still amazed that of all the people in this world, you chose to bless me with your love. I'm humbled by your selflessness, your honesty, your capacity for forgiveness./

/How much of this are you hearing my koi? I'm holding you, your pale skin shimmering in the moonlight. You are so fragile, so gentle. You are lying so still in my arms. I tremble as I study your ethereal beauty. You shimmering skin is becoming more translucent, making you appear even more angelic./

/Koi, I know our time together is short. Ryou, I can still feel your presence in our mind-link, but it's growing weaker. I feel your essence slipping away from this mortal world. I wish I could keep you here with me, but I cannot. Nor can I blame Ra for wanting his most perfect creation with him./

/Your soft breath caresses my skin as I place my cheek next to yours. Can you feel me touching you/ My hands slipped through his silky hair, the shimmering strands twining around my fingers and reflecting the moonlight shining around us.

/How I wish you would open your eyes and see the stars twinkling in the heavens above us. They seem to be brighter and clearer than ever before. I think this is because of you. There is a calmness, a peacefulness surrounding us. I believe it is an extension of your soul. That means our time together here is almost over. I can feel your spirit leaving you./

/Koishii tenshi? Did you move your fingers? Please, my koi, open your eyes; let me see your beautiful deep dark eyes once more. Let me see the love shining in them as you see my love for you in my eyes. Don't leave me yet/ I gasped aloud as I saw his eyelids flutter slightly. Was it possible?

/Oh my darling Ryou. Your eyes are open and they are glowing like the most priceless jewels. I can't stop my tears from falling as I witness the love radiating in their depths. Forgive me my love, but I have to steal another kiss from you./ His lips parted slightly in a silent invitation. As gently as possible, my lips tenderly, lovingly caressed his.

/Oh Ra! Even now, here at the end, your kiss is so gentle, so arousing. Your kiss is more than my lips sliding against yours. It is our souls touching and connecting./

/I can feel you struggling to communicate. What is it, koishii/

"Aishiteru, Kura."

"NO!" I screamed, as Ryou's eyes closed and his body went limp in my arms. My heart shattered as his gentle, loving spirit flew to the heavens where Ra was waiting to welcome him home.

I clutched his body to me as I fell to my knees, hot tears pouring from my eyes as the agony of my loss overwhelmed my soul. "Oh Ra! Please….not yet! Don't take my Ryou from me; I can't exist without him!

I was unaware of anyone approaching until I felt a warm hand touch my back. "Bakura?"

I lifted my head slightly, meeting the crimson gaze. My head dropped back down; I couldn't bear to see the sorrow in those eyes. "He's gone, Pharaoh." Another wave of agony coursed through me. "How am I going to live without him?"

Atemu didn't say anything. He knelt down and wrapped his arms around me. My tears of pain flowed unchecked down my face. "I am so sorry, Bakura."

Forgetting our past animosity, I leaned into his embrace accepting the comfort he was offering. Atemu was the only one who could possibly understand the depth of my loss. I truly had lost the lighter half of my soul. How could I possibly live without my hikari? Why would I want to?

After a few minutes, I asked him to leave. I needed time alone with my koibito. Time to say goodbye.

"I'll be waiting in the living room," he stated, pausing to stroke Ryou's shining hair and kiss his pale cheek. A single tear slid down his suntanned face.

Alone once more with my tenshi, I cuddled him close, cradling him in my arms. His head rested against my shoulder, his long lustrous hair falling around us.

I stayed on that balcony all night staring up at the nighttime sky and wondering if my hikari's spirit was watching me from somewhere in that vast twinkling field of shining lights.

Eventually, my eyes detected a subtle lightening in the velvety blackness. I lowered my gaze, wanting to see the colors of the dawn as they danced one final time across my koishii, illuminating the perfection of his face.

As the sun rose higher, I stood, knowing what I have to do. Fresh pain ripped through the fragments of my heart and the tattered remnants of my soul with each step I took. Holding my priceless treasure, I descended down the stairs to the living room where our friends were waiting.

"It's been a year, koishii tenshi." My fingers traced over the words carved in the base of the marble angel guarding your grave.

I kissed the two roses I held before placing them in the angel's hand. One white, one red. The white representing your innocence, your purity. The red was a declaration of my eternal love for you.

"A year. Three hundred and sixty five days of existing without you. And existing is all I can do. I ceased to live when your last breath passed between your soft lips." I spoke aloud, vaguely wondering why I felt the need to verbalize my feelings. It wasn't as if you could actually hear me and respond. But I couldn't prevent the words from escaping my lips.

"The days are frightening lonely, even though I am rarely alone. Our friends insist on including me in their activities. I go along with them because I don't have the will or the strength to fight them." I didn't reveal that for the past six months, I had isolated myself from everyone. It had reached a point that I could no longer endure their attempts to cheer me up. How was I supposed to be happy? With Ryou gone, my life was empty, barren, bleak. I had no will to continue living.

"As bad as the days are, the nights are worse. I lay in our bed alone, missing you so much that it becomes a physical pain. Every time I close my eyes, I get lost in the memories of us together. At first I would go downstairs in an effort to escape the hell of remembering all the nights we held each other."

"The couch offers no respite from the agonizing aloneness. All I find there are the dreams, hopes, and desires we had for the future." I closed my eyes in a futile attempt to stop the tears from flowing. "I'm sorry, koi, for not coming here before now, but I couldn't."

My grief overwhelmed me; I collapsed across the grave, unable to breathe as I once again experienced the pain of losing my Ryou. "Everyone tells me that the pain will lessen with time. Tenshi, that is a lie. My loneliness and suffering gets worse each day."

"I want so much to be with you again. Many times I've considered destroying this mortal form so our spirits can be reunited. Yet I'm afraid to. I fear that I will be trapped again in the eternal darkness of the Sennen Ring if I do."

I closed my tear-filled eyes as I struggled not to break down. I failed. Tears flowed unchecked down my face and soaked the sacred ground that held my koishii's earthly remains.

As I lay there, too weak to fight my emotions, an overwhelming peace filled my soul. The same sense of peace that I always associated with Ryou. Wanting, needing, to see what was happening, I opened my swollen, red-rimmed eyes and gasped.

"Ryou?" That was the only word I was capable of speaking as my eyes absorbed the shimmering vision in front of me.

His perfect lips curved upwards into a gentle smile. "Kura," he said, his voice sending a shiver through me. The love shining in the dark eyes convinced me that this was no dream.

Stunned, I stood up, my mind trying to grasp the reality of this.

Somehow, I managed to speak. "How is this possible?"

His intense gaze became even warmer. The love shining in his eyes mesmerizing me. "Ra has been watching you, Kura. He was witnessed your pain and suffering and has chosen to have mercy on you."

"Your endless love for me has erased all the transgressions and evil deeds you did in the past. You have proven beyond any doubt that you are no longer the tomb robber bent on revenge and destruction."

I was stunned. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Ra had forgiven me? What did that mean for my future? My eyes searched my chibi hikari's, seeking answers.

He placed his hands gently against my cheeks. Even though there was no actual physical contact, I could feel his warmth against my skin. I closed my eyes in ecstasy, savoring this moment.

"Kura, my koishii, thanks to Ra I was able to come back and visit you, just this one time. He has patiently listened as I begged him to have mercy on your soul." A shining tear rolled slowly down his shimmering cheek.

Fresh pain ripped through my soul at that sight. I couldn't stand to think that Ryou's spirit was suffering because of me. Agonized, I closed my eyes and lowered my head. "This is Ra's mercy? To send the reason for my existence back to this mortal world? To make me let you go a second time?" I clenched my fists and struggled not to scream.

Ryou's spirit quickly slid his arms around me and stepped close to my body. He surrounded me, his love pushing away all my pain and rage.

His breath was warm and gentle against my ear and neck. " No, my beloved Kura. This is his mercy." His eyes locked onto mine. "Come back with me. Ra is willing to grant your soul immortality in heaven. All you have to do is come back with me today."

My heart skipped a beat. I could spend eternity with my koishii chibi tenshi? There was no decision to make. "Let's go."

He shook his head, the silvery strands reflecting the light of the sun. "Koi, stop and think before you answer. Consider everything and everyone before you decide." He raised his eyes skyward. "You have until sunset to make your decision. I will leave you alone until then." He brushed his fingers against my lips before his spirit slowly faded away, leaving me alone to think.

I sank back to the ground, staring blindly at Ryou's guardian angel statue. Time slipped away; I didn't notice until I saw the shadows lengthening on the ground. I looked up and judged that there was about an hour of sunlight left. I pulled my cell phone from my pocket.

"Atemu, I need to see you. I'm at the cemetery." I didn't give him the opportunity to say anything. I merely hung up.

Approximately 20 minutes later, I spied him hurrying towards me; his hikari and Malik trailing along behind him. Malik threw himself at me, wrapping his arms tightly around me. I was puzzled. "Malik? What's wrong?" He didn't verbally respond. He tightened his grip on me and began crying, his tears soaking the front of my shirt.

I turned to the Pharaoh. His unusual garnet eyes were somber. "He's missed you. This is the first time since Ryou died that you have called and wanted to see us."

His hikari, Yugi, spoke up. "I'm glad you finally called, Bakura. We've all been very worried about you." His enormous, guileless eyes stared into mine, searching for answers. "Why did you want to meet us here?"

I was astounded by the strength and the courage shining in the violet orbs. This only increased my protective feelings for Yugi. For the first time, I truly began to understand why Atemu had fallen in love with the diminutive boy. He had a soul as pure as my tenshi's.

I smiled at the youth. "Trust me, Yugi. I have my reason, which you will find out shortly."

I returned my attention to Malik. I lifted his head from my shoulder, frowning as I took in the paleness of his normally golden skin, the dark circles under his lavender eyes, the thinness of his body. His clothing hung on his frame. "Talk to me. What happened to you?"

The blonde Egyptian teen didn't answer. He released his grip on me and turned to Yugi who embraced him, talking with him in a low, soothing voice.

Puzzled, I looked to Atemu for answers. "You're not the only one who loved Ryou. He was Malik's best friend." His crimson eyes softened with love as he looked at his aibou. "We all loved him. Thank Ra, Yugi and I had each other to turn to for comfort. Malik had no one. When Ryou died, he lost the closest friend he had."

Those unusual eyes narrowed slightly. "He wanted you. He wanted to share the memories with you, but you were too wrapped up in your own grief to notice."

I flinched at the harsh criticism in his voice. Shame coursed through my veins as I realized that he was right. I had been so self-absorbed in dealing with my own loss, I never stopped to consider anyone else's feelings.

Hesitantly, I touched Malik's shoulder, my hand sliding up to curl around his neck. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to shut you out."

He lifted his head and turned to stare at me, his normally sparkling lavender eyes dull and lifeless. "It's okay Bakura. I know how much you loved Ryou."

My heart clenched as I realized the pain I had carelessly inflicted on my friends. I gripped the thin shoulders lightly and gently pulled him away from Yugi. I wrapped my arms around him and held him as he wept. " I know how much you loved him too," I whispered in his ear.

As I held and comforted my Egyptian friend, I heard Yugi urging Atemu to look at the sunset.

My eyes widened. Sunset? I gasped at the brilliance of the colors painting the sky. Never before had I seen such a beautiful blend of hues. My excitement and anticipation increased as I realized my precious Ryou tenshi would soon be back. I was so eager to spend eternity with my koishii chibi tenshi.

I released Malik and stepped away, the sunset captivating me. I saw the pain creep back into his expressive eyes.

A pair of dark red eyes glared at me. Atemu quickly wrapped his arms around the youth.

I didn't have time to explain. The air in front of me was shimmering; a golden glow appeared. When it faded, the spirit of Ryou was standing there.

There were three audible gasps. I was silent; too estatic to do anything except stare at my koibito.

Ryou broke the stillness that surrounded us. "Koi, have you decided?" His eyes shone with all the love he had for me. My own reflected the feelings back to him.

A voice intruded. "Ryou!" The blonde teen launched himself at the spirit, only to be restrained by the Pharaoh. "No Malik. That is just his spirit."

His hikari clutched at his arm. "What does he want? Why is he here?"

Atemu closed his eyes in contemplation. They opened wide as the answer came to him. He turned his crimson gaze on me. "He has come back for Bakura."

"What?" Yugi gasped. "What do you mean? Has he come back to punish him for something?"

He shook his head, negatively. "Ryou has been permitted by Ra to come back and take Bakura's spirit with him, if the tomb robber is willing to go."

I opened my mouth to let my koibito know that I was ready to go when a certain blond-haired teen attached himself to me, his arms tightly wrapped around my neck. "No, Bakura! Don't you leave me too!" His frightened eyes bore into mine. "If you leave, I will have no one," he wept.

Guilt and pain flooded my heart. I cradled Malik in my arms as I stared helplessly into my precious aibou's eyes. Suddenly I found myself very confused. I wanted to go with my tenshi, to spend all eternity with him. But yet, how could I do that to Malik? Who would care for him? Comfort him? I didn't know what to do.

Ryou sensed the turmoil and indecision in my soul. His lips curved upwards into the most loving smile imaginable.

"Kura?" his voice was so soft and warm. " I can't take you with me now. You are still needed here." He lifted his hand and laid it on Malik's head. "He needs you, koi."

I looked at Malik, who was staring at me, waiting to see what I would do now. I saw the pleading in his lavender eyes. How could I possibly cause anymore pain to him? Ryou was right; Malik needed me. But what about what I needed? What I wanted?

I wanted to go with my tenshi. I closed my eyes in a vain effort to stop the flood of tears I knew were coming. "I love you Ryou," I whispered, my voice filled with all the emotion I was feeling.

"I know that koishii. I've never doubted your love for me." He wrapped his arms around me and Malik, surrounding us with love and peace.

The shadows stretched further as only a small amount of light existed on the horizon. The stars were beginning to appear, twinkling brightly in the darkening sky.

"It's time," he said softly. "I have to go back now."

I broke away from Malik; I needed to be alone with my beautiful angel. He wrapped his spiritual fingers around the hand I extended to him.

"Kura, our love is eternal. When it is your time to leave this mortal realm, I will be waiting. Until then, koi, know that I will be watching over you."

"Promise?"

His eyes dazzled me with their beauty. "I promise."

I released his hand and embraced him, gasping at the flood of feelings that coursed through every cell of my body. He returned the embrace, his lips gently moving against mine. Even though there was no actual physical contact, the kiss was a reflection of the unbreakable connection we shared. I continued to hold him even as his spirit became more transparent in the face of the encroaching darkness. Eventually, my tenshi no hikari's spirit vanished completely, leaving only a slight shimmering in the air that quickly dissipated.

Tears slid down my cheeks as my koishii tenshi left me again. Only this time, I was no longer alone. I turned to the wide-eyed Egyptian youth standing behind me. I reached out, my fingers intertwining with his. "Let's go home."

Owari

Kura: How could you betray me like that? You promised that you wouldn't reveal what I had wriiten in my diary!

Tenshi: Sorry, but I couldn't help it. I just wanted everyone to know how much you loved Ryou.

Kura: But I had a reputation to maintain and you have ruined it! How can I possibly frighten people now? (Glares at me)

Tenshi: (giggling) Sorry Kura. That glare isn't the least bit frightening anymore. Maybe if you started crying?

Kura: (Pulls out a large knife and starts chasing me)

Tenshi: HELP! (begins running trying to escape)

Ryou's Spirit: You know what to do--be gentle and review...Let us know what you think about Tenshi's story. Should she do a sequel?