Home Again
by Emerald Embers
Pairing: Sirius x Remus
Rated PG for mild yaoi/slash (whatever you call it ^_^)
Non-profit fan-fiction
Spoilers to Prizoner of Azkaban
Author's Note: I needed a warm and fuzzy christmas fic, and this is also the first time I've written for the Harry Potter fandom, so if my style's a little screwy, do forgive me. I've been wanting to write a bit of Sirius x Remus fluff for yonks now ^_^. R&R please! Oh, and flamers are appreciated for once as it gets VERY cold in England at this time of year. I need something warm to keep the house cosy. Dedicated to Carmilla!
[Remus]
Sirius, I am here. We are together. We are home.
I may be a werewolf, but I can sense what a human feels more keenly than many other creatures. I saw the hurt and loneliness in your eyes when I first found you in one of the big muggle cities. Your wards as familiar to me, as easy to manipulate as the back of my own hand. You should have been more careful with your choice of hideout. But then, you knew that Dumbledore and I were the only ones who would know your ways when it came to hiding, didn't you? You trusted us.
You do not deserve to have been treated the way you have been treated. You have suffered more than I can imagine. Perhaps even more than Dumbledore himself can imagine. But you are here now. And I will look after you. If I can help it, you will never be alone again.
What would you have me do for you? Shall I hold you and tell you it's all better now because I'm here? Or that everything will be alright, the good guys will win, and in the morning it will all be over? No... you were never the kind to be fooled by such lies, however comforting, even when you were as young as Harry is now. You were never a fool, Sirius Black. If I had, God forbid, been the one to betray James, you would have been the first to figure out the truth. I know you would have. You were always there with an answer first, sometimes even ahead of James. You liked to keep us safe. You kept my secret safe.
Sometimes, when I turn into the werewolf, I think of you. The werewolf thinks of Padfoot, how he misses his friend, misses having someone to play with and someone who he can suffer alongside safely. When Severus invented the potion that allowed me to retain some of my humanity, the thoughts switched to you. Usually something almost insignificant, something familiar... a grin and cheer when you won points for Griffindor house, a pout when someone refused to give you what you wanted. Glaring at Severus when he 'ratted' on you.
Other times I carried vague memories of things that mattered more to us than they would to most other people, simply because they did not share our secrets. What we had was forbidden, something to be hidden and disguised. The Quidditch player and the bookworm. The pretty-boy and the obsessive flirt. Goody-goody and troublemaker. The werewolf and the human. I loved you so much, I would not have believed it possible had I not seen what I felt reflected in your eyes. Beautiful, dark eyes. The giggling fourth-years were clichéd but right; you really did have eyes worth drowning in.
And now we are home, Sirius. I do not know how long we will be safe here, but there is no denying it. We are safe. We are warm. We can hope the good guys win, and pretend they already have. And we can look at the scars on each of us and assess them. There are so many new scars on your body. Scars you should not have, that you don't deserve, never deserved. Scars that may as well be labelled 'bestowed by Peter Pettigrew. With love from He Who Must Not Be Named.'
We are safe, Sirius. If you wish it, I will hold you. Kiss you. Undress you. I've missed everything about you. Waking up to an empty bed every morning was harder with every day that passed since I last woke up in your familiar arms. You were always so warm... you were a creature of the sun despite your darker complexion, and I a creature of the night despite my lighter hair.
That is something you can look out for on me. Thanks to Severus, I do not have any new major scars for you to see, but the years have taken their toll in other ways. And now we can watch each other scar and grey and develop wrinkles, gain or lose weight as time passes. We can grow old together, like I always wanted, even if you were once so frightened of death. I already knew that there was far worse than death waiting for us in this life. You had to experience it before I, though... so many years with no-one believing you, not even your closest friends. Even your lover thinking somehow you were to blame for so much suffering.
But it is over now. We are warm. We are safe. And for now, we are together, and can imagine spending forever like this. If we do die, do you believe we will meet up in this moment in heaven? That this reunion, for all its tears, will be the moment we get to relive again and again and again for the rest of eternity? I will never tire of it. Never tire of your face, your beauty, you. The others may only see a 'shadow of the man you once were', but I only see you. My love, my life. Sirius.
I have you again, Sirius. You have me. We are together. And this is my eternity. This is the moment that no dementor, no memory charm, nothing will ever tear away from me. Because this moment and my life are bound together.
We are together, Sirius. We are loved again. And nothing will ever, ever take that away from us.
Not even death.
The End
by Emerald Embers
Pairing: Sirius x Remus
Rated PG for mild yaoi/slash (whatever you call it ^_^)
Non-profit fan-fiction
Spoilers to Prizoner of Azkaban
Author's Note: I needed a warm and fuzzy christmas fic, and this is also the first time I've written for the Harry Potter fandom, so if my style's a little screwy, do forgive me. I've been wanting to write a bit of Sirius x Remus fluff for yonks now ^_^. R&R please! Oh, and flamers are appreciated for once as it gets VERY cold in England at this time of year. I need something warm to keep the house cosy. Dedicated to Carmilla!
[Remus]
Sirius, I am here. We are together. We are home.
I may be a werewolf, but I can sense what a human feels more keenly than many other creatures. I saw the hurt and loneliness in your eyes when I first found you in one of the big muggle cities. Your wards as familiar to me, as easy to manipulate as the back of my own hand. You should have been more careful with your choice of hideout. But then, you knew that Dumbledore and I were the only ones who would know your ways when it came to hiding, didn't you? You trusted us.
You do not deserve to have been treated the way you have been treated. You have suffered more than I can imagine. Perhaps even more than Dumbledore himself can imagine. But you are here now. And I will look after you. If I can help it, you will never be alone again.
What would you have me do for you? Shall I hold you and tell you it's all better now because I'm here? Or that everything will be alright, the good guys will win, and in the morning it will all be over? No... you were never the kind to be fooled by such lies, however comforting, even when you were as young as Harry is now. You were never a fool, Sirius Black. If I had, God forbid, been the one to betray James, you would have been the first to figure out the truth. I know you would have. You were always there with an answer first, sometimes even ahead of James. You liked to keep us safe. You kept my secret safe.
Sometimes, when I turn into the werewolf, I think of you. The werewolf thinks of Padfoot, how he misses his friend, misses having someone to play with and someone who he can suffer alongside safely. When Severus invented the potion that allowed me to retain some of my humanity, the thoughts switched to you. Usually something almost insignificant, something familiar... a grin and cheer when you won points for Griffindor house, a pout when someone refused to give you what you wanted. Glaring at Severus when he 'ratted' on you.
Other times I carried vague memories of things that mattered more to us than they would to most other people, simply because they did not share our secrets. What we had was forbidden, something to be hidden and disguised. The Quidditch player and the bookworm. The pretty-boy and the obsessive flirt. Goody-goody and troublemaker. The werewolf and the human. I loved you so much, I would not have believed it possible had I not seen what I felt reflected in your eyes. Beautiful, dark eyes. The giggling fourth-years were clichéd but right; you really did have eyes worth drowning in.
And now we are home, Sirius. I do not know how long we will be safe here, but there is no denying it. We are safe. We are warm. We can hope the good guys win, and pretend they already have. And we can look at the scars on each of us and assess them. There are so many new scars on your body. Scars you should not have, that you don't deserve, never deserved. Scars that may as well be labelled 'bestowed by Peter Pettigrew. With love from He Who Must Not Be Named.'
We are safe, Sirius. If you wish it, I will hold you. Kiss you. Undress you. I've missed everything about you. Waking up to an empty bed every morning was harder with every day that passed since I last woke up in your familiar arms. You were always so warm... you were a creature of the sun despite your darker complexion, and I a creature of the night despite my lighter hair.
That is something you can look out for on me. Thanks to Severus, I do not have any new major scars for you to see, but the years have taken their toll in other ways. And now we can watch each other scar and grey and develop wrinkles, gain or lose weight as time passes. We can grow old together, like I always wanted, even if you were once so frightened of death. I already knew that there was far worse than death waiting for us in this life. You had to experience it before I, though... so many years with no-one believing you, not even your closest friends. Even your lover thinking somehow you were to blame for so much suffering.
But it is over now. We are warm. We are safe. And for now, we are together, and can imagine spending forever like this. If we do die, do you believe we will meet up in this moment in heaven? That this reunion, for all its tears, will be the moment we get to relive again and again and again for the rest of eternity? I will never tire of it. Never tire of your face, your beauty, you. The others may only see a 'shadow of the man you once were', but I only see you. My love, my life. Sirius.
I have you again, Sirius. You have me. We are together. And this is my eternity. This is the moment that no dementor, no memory charm, nothing will ever tear away from me. Because this moment and my life are bound together.
We are together, Sirius. We are loved again. And nothing will ever, ever take that away from us.
Not even death.
The End