Disclaimer: I don't own naruto and i also dont own a spellchecker any mistakes you notice i will correct

' ' thoughts

" " spoken

The dangers of not having a milkman

Itachi never really had a normal childhood what with him being a ninja genius and even more antisocial than Sasuke along with his insomnia had like with Garaa lead to some emotional issuses. His childhood had consisted mainly of perfecting the more advanced fire moves that never work and pretty much coping everything possible with his Sharingan.

By the age of eight little Itachi had learnt all the jobs in Konoha. That's right any job he could do ice cream man, door to door salesman, Orochimarus test subject he had seen and copied it all.

But when someone can do anything what was left to do. Little Itachi instead decided to do everything he could to be the best at everything. Soon he was number one rookie ninja and also owned his own ramen shop,ice cream store, sweet shop, in fact by 10 he had worked his way into every possible crack of Konoha imaginable.

Of course this left little Itachi very bored and with the him having no friends from being such a freakishly gifted child he begain to get bitter. Of course he had little Sasuke to play with but it was never enough he was always told "Never throw shurikens at your little brother Itachi" "never use the fire moves that don't work on your little brother Itachi" and was far superior to Sasuke in every possible way.

Itachi had came to a conclusion. Since no one would play with him he would have to travel the world by himself although his father would never allow it he would have to leave Konoha. The easiest way to do this was by not allowing people to tell him he could not go travel. So Itachi murdered the clan using his amazing ninja skills and took the money he would need to reach his goal. He had kept Sasuke alive for one reason and one reason only to keep that Disgusting orochimaru of his back.

You see Orochimaru had introduced himself to Little Itachi a while back and had constantly kept reappearing like a bad rash. Everywhere Itachi went Orochimaru would follow and comment on Itachis eyes and how great and marvalous they were.

To be blunt Itachi was scared of the man and was sure he knew a lot of violation jutsus he was just waiting to bust on poor Itachi. At least if he kept Sasuke alive then Orochimaru would have another sharingan to hound after.

So Itachi backed his purple backpack making careful note to pack a toothbrush and of course Itachi II his amazingly ninja skilled teddy .. with an uchiha fan on the back. And little sharingans for eyes.

Now the rest of Itachi's life was pretty unieventful join an evil organisation, destroy an entire village, kill demon animals,partner with a fishman. It was all standard things when one runs away from home in the world of Naruto.

And this brings us to the worse day of Itachis life. Kisame his "roommate" had been gone for a while now and itachi was becoming very bored nothing on the television and nothing around the house to do. You see Itachi is now 26-27 years of age and is currently in a hidden Akatsuki hideout. Now little adorable Sasuke for all his faults had became surprisingly strong and had started to "off" members of Akatsuki to find him Maybe it wasent such a good idea to kill all the members of his close family or he should have just killed everyone and not left his younger brother alone to grow in his anger like that.

Click another channel passed and now itachi was really getting bored at being alone with his thoughts. He knew he could go out and do some awsome ninjaing but because everyone knows that no ninja is at their best without a bowl of ninja pebbles in the morning. Unfortunatly One of the problems of living in a Hidden hideout is that your never given milk by the milkman so Itachi was sitting watching tv with a bowl of ninja pebbles and no milk.

Now Kisame had been gone for a good half an hour and Itachi was starting to get hungry his stomach craving for some early morning food. He had eatten breakfast everyday of his life and wasent about to break the trend now. 'what to have now' Thought Itachi whilst rummaging through the fridge powered by the hidden Akatsuki energy plant.

Finally after facing the internal battle between a sandwich and something fryable he settled on a sandwich. Oh how Itachi love salami with mustard and mayo the good kind not the cheap kind Kisame brought back the first few times before he was diciplined not to.

Itachi liked salami he really did like a good salami sandwich although he would have prefered a bowl of ninja pebbles since a sandwich is more of a lunch food. None the less Itachi started on his quest for his sandwich. He took his his mustard and mayo and noticed he barely had enough of either. Opening the breadbox he remembered that in the horror in his boredom he had forgotten about the diet Kisame had put them both on. He stared at the ugly bread the grains offending him unimaginable ways. He looked at the two slices of bread again 'End piece' he lifted it to see the one underneath 'another end piece' he mentally sighed oh how he hated the end pieces. He would just have to deal with it.

Itachi opened the cuboard and began eyeing the only other piece of food available. 'Popcorn?'. Itachi was confused why did they have popcorn in there hidden hideout. Itachi dident really care it would have to do. He threw the popcorn in the microwave and set it for 2 minutes. Having taken the utmost care with the construction of his sandwich he rose it towards his lips and took the first bite.Eyes arched upwards he was so happy with his sandwich just the way he liked it despite the poor quality of bread he even started to tear up a little.

The door slamed open "I've finally found you!" . A sudden yell caused Itachi to jump a little at the familiar pissed off voice. Itachis mind went through the thought process of everyone he had ever pissed off. In a hurry he turned around to be stuck by the thing that would kill him. Itachi jumped again the eyebrows on sasukes companion were inhuman.

Itachis eyes dashed across the room why was it so hard to breath. 'must be genjutsu' he thought before realising he was actually choking on his delicious sandwich.

"Now I will be able to put an end to your evil ways!" Sasuke said. "I have waited almost fifteen years to finally have my revenge for what you did to our clan! You were a fool to leave me alive because now I will be the one to kill you! Prepare yourself for the fight of—"

Itachi couldent care less for Sasukes speech as he smacked him self on the chest repeatedly trying to dislodge the food from his windpipe. He coughed and mentally cursed himself for looking at the eyebrow guy whilst eating.

Itachi collapsed onto the cold floor as he remembered what Kisame had told him. "I don't care how cold your feet get Itachi we cant have carpet or even wooden floors here where do you think were going to find a contractor who will keep this hidden hideout hidden."

"Don't be fooled by his tricks" he saw the eyebrowed monstrosity say.

'Just my luck im killed by a dumb eyebrowed freak.' This was the worse day ever.

Itachi slipped into sweet death.

Sasuke slowly approached Itachi's body on the ground. He kicked it lightly a few times and then rolled him over onto his back. After a moment of staring at his blank face, he looked at Lee, Shino and Ino. "He's dead…" he said.

Kisame came home later than expected. Why was it that the only open till was always with the new girl on it. He had only wanted some milk and yet he had been stuck there for an hour before he he destroyed to destroy the whole village. He left with twice as much milk as he had intended on buying since he now had to shop somewhere else.

"Itachi im back" Kisame called out. He looked at the prone form of itachi on the floor he ran other and shock him as hard as possible then slapped him a bit it was no use Itachi wasent responing.

"WHY" Kisame hollered to the heavens sobbing. "HE was to young to die HE WAS MY ONLY FRIEND." Kisame mourned and mourned for a whole two minutes before deciding Itachi would want him to have lunch then continue to grieve.

Kisame opened the fridge and looked around casually he couldent find it anywhere. Kisame got his tuna out of the shopping bag and carefully using his scale sword opened the lid and dumped the contents into a random bowl.

Kisame continued looking through the fridge but to no avail he just couldent find it. Kisame sighed and went back to his tuna. 'Here it is' Kisame thought has he picked up the jar of mayonaise he had recently moved onto the more expensive mayo and dident really see why itachi was so stubbon when it came to his mayonaise.

Kisame eyed it suspisiously something was wrong. Itachi had used up all the mayo.. now Kisame had to grieve. Taking out his sword he killed himself right then and there in the kitchen. 'Whats the point to life when I no longer have my two loves friendship and mayonaise.' Kisame thought to himself whilst he commited himself to the task at hand.

Itachi felt real ill when he woke up.. his head ached and his throat was sore. Wait his throat was swore. 'someone must have knocked that sandwich out of my windpipe or at least dislodged it.'. He looked over to his side. Itachi let out a Scream "what the hell" what was a mutilated kisame doing lying next to him.

Itachi sighed. He had nearly died his brother would be telling everyone how he had 'Killed' him and now his partner was dead. Worse of all one of those brats stole his sandwich.

It really was the worse day ever.

end

Authors notes: this is just something I decided to write for link and luigis competition and in a vain hope to gain a bit of surport am pretty much leeching for one of their fics. Naruto Primer chapter 93 is the one its based on.

And on Itachis death at the hands of lees eyebrows it's a fate many have shared. Remember don't eat with lee.