Disclaimer: Do not own NCIS.

I suppose you're going to ask me about my problems?

"Well……

It's not work…I know you must get a lot of people in here talking about their work. But not me. I love my work. It's intriguing, interesting and sometimes a little hinky, you know. Well I've worked there for about five years, hanging out in the lab, blasting music, slurping caff-pows.

No, I'm not escaping a traumatic past.

Why do I dress like this? I dress like this because I like to dress like this.

No. I do not have anger-management issues. I just like the clothes.

Hey that was uncalled for. I do have a social life. Ask the Nuns.

Anyway, my problems?

Nope. None that come to mind straight away. I'm just peachy.

Although….I do have one issue.

It's my colleagues. Caitlin Todd, A.K.A Best friend and Tony DiNozzo, A.K.A my big brother.

Yep. They work with me.

Oh, what's the problem?

It's nothing insanely huge or anything…I mean I love them and everything. But I wish they'd get together already. I mean they're insanely in love with each other. And both are too stubborn to admit to it. And Rule 12 doesn't help.

Rule 12. Oh that's my Boss's code of conduct. He's my silver haired fox.

No. I do not have father issues. I have Gibbs.

The point is Kate's infatuated with him. Whenever we go out he's all she ever talks about is his hair.

Or how he was talking about sex all day. She positively pines for him. And Tony. Well don't even get me started. He calls himself the 'Italian Stallion' And the only reason he talks about ladies 24/7 is because he wants her to notice. And Gibbs. He doesn't help the matter. Always giving slaps on the head.

No he doesn't assault us. He never does it to me. It's a sign of affection.

I swear I got on fine with my father, there's nothing whatsoever hinky between me and Gibbs. He's not degrading in any way. He's simply a figure we all respect.

What do I mean by he doesn't help the situation? Well he's an ex-marine. Who has a gruff exterior but deep, deep down inside I know he has a heart. That' the only reason he has his rules. Take number 12. Don't sleep with your colleagues. Or something like that. He only does it because he cares.

How certain am I?

I'm so certain I'd put my entire infectious disease anthology on it. And he doesn't want Kate or Tony getting hurt. We're like this slightly dysfunctional family and he's the dad. But just watching the way they flirt with each other is enough to make you want to slam there heads together and go 'KISS ALREADY!' But some sexual harassment lawyer would probably have something to say about that.

You see I see them watching each other across the bull-pen. And when we all go out for drinks. They're both dying to dance. Or my favourite on Tony's SIMS 2 game. They have twins. Jessica and Max. Now tell me they don't love each other.

No. I don't stalk them.

...Ok fine. Just once. Or twice. But that's beside the point.

Maybe you should be talking to them not me…I'm simply the innocent bystander who's forced to play cupid via divine intervention.

Yes. Goth's can believe in divine intervention. I bowl with nuns.

Anyway. I am positively sure they belong together. They've even slept at each others houses before. Sure it was because Tony had a gas leak. But that only lasted 4 days. He was there for a week.

Uh-huh. A week. Not that Kate knows that so. Shhhhh

You see, she's insecure. She comes off as strong and independent, but she's insecure. She needs assurance. Tony can give her that. He knows what she needs. He's special in his own way.

And he needs to be tamed. It's like dangling the meat in front of the lion. It gets all agitated then once it gets what it desires it settles down. It's petable. She's what he needs and he's what she needs.

They're both smart, funny and amazingly good at what they do.

Although they both carry guns.

There federal officers. They're not lab technicians.

Yes I work at NCIS.

No I do not work at the Washington Botanical Gardens….."

"Sorry Ms Sciuto. Our session has over run…. Can you send in the next person……"

A/N: Sorry that was slightly unusual. I was supposed to be doing an essay. But you know how mundane that is. So drop me a review and say if you want another chapter.. And thanks to artificially sweet for betaing.

Much love
Jess xxx