Disclaimer: Sadly , don't own.

Ruled By Secrecy

Deny everything, admit nothing , make counter accusations. A popular motto adopted by many operatives of the CIA, and one which Ruth had recently adopted temporarily. Though it was proving to be an operation not without it's flaws. It was easier said then done to attempt to ignore and deny something, that had apparently become a favourite topic of debate and discussion at the George, or so Zaf had told her.

What Ruth had started out adamantly denying to the grid, to Harry and ultimately to herself, appeared to become increasingly difficult to maintain. Harry had told her once that she was a born spook, able to hold her nerve, something which Ruth herself had become proud of. It was all failing her miserably now though. Her usually reliable composure had long been threatening to give her up , wave a white flag and retreat. Certain obvious signs began breaking through, hard to cover up, and even harder to think of any other plausible explanations. And god knows she had tried.

Zaf had been the one to confront her. They all apparently could see it. Felt they could no longer stay silent. It was for her own good, Zaf dutifully told her. She wasn't sure she really believed that, but by that stage her defences had been well worn down .She had no energy left to fight. For the first time she admitted it, well sort of.

Ruth was sick, but it was only a little cold and nothing more, a declaration seconds later proved to the contrary by a superbly timed coughing fit. Perhaps it was a tad worse than she had otherwise been willing to confess.

So here she was , on the first day off she'd taken in years. Ruth hadn't really been given much choice in the matter anyway. Harry had been very insistent, and Harry Pearce had the art of persuasion perfected to a tee. Her mass protests had all been ignored, her plea that the ever mounting paperwork on her desk wasn't going to do itself, was met with a reassurance from Zaf that it would all be there for her when she got back. That comment had won him a death glare, although it would arguably have been more impressive without the dreary eyes, worryingly bright red nose, and another hysterical coughing fit which interrupted it.

So, a few days off it was. Zaf' had probably been right, a few days off would do her the world of good, considering her cold had turned into a pretty bad flu, and she now couldn't move out of the bed. Not even to reach the Special Branch files that must have accidentally fallen into her bag when she was leaving the office. Along with the microdot reader, and microfiche slides. She could be clumsy like that, or at least that was her prepared excuse. Zaf had probably been right. Though under no circumstances would she tell him. Admit nothing, deny everything.

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The paper work that Zaf had so kindly promised would be there when she returned, hadn't moved. It had practically swallowed her desk.

" You shouldn't let yourself fall behind like that. It's becoming a real health and safety hazard. " Death glare, this time with the desired impact. She was definitley over this illness.

It wasn't hard to immediately feel the notable absence on the grid. No dominant shadow pacing in the corner of her eye. It left a rather uncomfortable feeling.

" Called in sick", Zaf informed her, catching her glances towards the office.

" Thought he'd have to be dead before he'd even consider doing that". So had she, but not much concerning Harry Pearce surprised her anymore.

" Nasty flu apparently, couldn't even get out of bed. Felt it coming on for a few days apparently . Sounds kind of similar to what you…".

Ruth could almost hear the squeak from the wheels turning in his head during the deafening silence that followed. Eyes glued to her computer screen, she didn't even attempt to look up. It would have been no help to him anyway if she had. She had her game face on, something she had mastered quite a while ago,with a little help from the master himself.

Admit nothing, deny everything.

Perhaps it was time to adopt it on a more permanent basis.