There's something 'bout the way
The street looks when it's just rained.
There's a glow off the pavement,
You walk me to the car.
And you know I wanna ask you to dance
Right there in the middle of the parking lot,
We're driving down the road,
I wonder if you know,
I'm trying so hard to not get caught up now.
But you're just so cool,
Run your hands through your hair
Absent-mindedly makin' me want you.
And I don't know how it gets better than this,
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why, but with you, I'd dance
In a storm, in my best dress, fearless
So baby drive slow, till we run out of road
In this one horse town, I wanna stay right here,
In this passenger seat, you put your eyes on me.
In this moment, now capture it, remember it.
Cause I don't know how it gets better than this.
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why, but with you, I'd dance
In a storm, in my best dress, fearless.
Well, you stood there with me in the doorway
My hands shake, I'm not usually this way.
But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave.
It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin'
It's fearless.
Cause I don't know how it gets better than this.
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless.
And I don't know why, but with you, I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless.
Cause I don't know how it gets better than this,
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless.
And I don't know why, but with you, I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress,
Fearless.
Kendall looked over at the paper on the table in front of the sleeping girl. He'd laughed at her when he saw that she'd fallen asleep while writing something. His eyes skimmed the paper, noticing how much the song matched their relationship.
He didn't say anything as he placed the paper back in the same spot it'd been in before. He wrote a note to her before leaving her bedroom. He looked at her one last time before closing the door.
Jackie, I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye to you in person. You were asleep and I know how you are about being woken up. Anyway, there was an audition to be Gustavo Roque's next big thing. I went with James, Carlos, and Logan. Gustavo called James a horrible singer (can you imagine how James reacted?), and he wanted to sign me, but I convinced him to sign James, Carlos, and Logan as well. I'm leaving Minnesota and moving to Los Angeles. I know that this was your dream, but if I don't go, James doesn't go. And then James would hate me for life if I took away his chance at being famous. I'm sorry. -Kendall.
A year after Jackie discovered the note, she was still reading it. It was worn and wrinkled from being opened and reread about a million times. She knew he'd seen the song she wrote. He had to, in order to get a piece of paper.
Jackie closed her eyes and leaned her head against her window. The feel of the cool glass on her forehead made her relax as she thought about the night that happened exactly one year ago.
(page break) (flashback)
"Jackie, come on, it's raining," Kendall had said, taking her hand and leading her to the car. She looked around, noticing how the street looked, almost beautiful. She had an urge to ask Kendall to dance, even if they were in the middle of a parking lot.
Driving down the road, Jackie kept looking over at Kendall, who kept running his hands through his hair. He didn't seem to be thinking about it, he just did it out of habit. Jackie knew that it was a weird turn on. He turned to face her. "It's too early to get you home now, isn't it?" he asked, smiling.
"Drive slow, till we run out of road in this one horse town," she'd replied. He smiled and followed her orders.
A few hours later, he stood with her in her doorway. She looked down at her hands, they were shaking. She wasn't usually this nervous. Kendall suddenly pulled her in for a kiss. Their first kiss. It was flawless, really something. It was fearless, because if James caught them, they would be dead.
"Would you be my girlfriend?" he'd asked.
She'd nodded, smiling.
Kendall had kissed her once more as a goodbye before turning on his heel and walking to his car; he'd never been one for goodbyes.
(page break) (end flashback)
She folded her arms as she turned back to her desk, looking at the magazine that had accidentally been delivered to her home. It had a picture of Kendall and his new blonde girlfriend on the cover. He'd never even broken up with her, and yet, here he was, out in the open about this new relationship.
Did he really think she wouldn't find out about it? Did he really think she'd just laugh it off; "Oh, we weren't cute together anyway"?
The day after their perfect date, he'd up and left. He didn't say goodbye to her, just left that sad excuse for a note on her desk. Jackie angrily closed the magazine, tossed it into her trashcan, and stood up. She shoved the desk chair into the desk, creating a loud, "THUD". She turned on the radio, tuning in to the local news station. Jackie sat down on her bed.
"In celebrity news, Gustavo Roque is coming back to Minnesota to find 'the next big thing' after finding Big Time Rush here a year ago," the radio person's voice said. "Auditions start at twelve noon and end at five PM."
Jackie looked up at the clock. It was eleven fifty five. If she wanted to audition, she definitely had enough time to get there.
"The boys of Big Time Rush will apparently be there, to visit family," the radio man continued.
"Yeah, to visit family," Jackie muttered. If Big Time Rush was coming back to visit family, wouldn't her brother be visiting her?
But, no, he wasn't. None of them were.
"Maybe I should audition," she thought. She picked up her car keys and left the house.
(page break)
"Wow, I'll never get a chance to audition," Jackie thought, noticing how big the crowd was. She pushed through them to get to the reception desk.
"You're the last one to get a number, congratulations," the African-American woman told her, smiling nicely.
"Thanks," Jackie replied. She thought of American Idol, how those three judges went to all the major cities in the US to find 'the next American idol'. But, unlike the season premieres, where some people came back smiling and screaming with their golden ticket, no one who went in to audition for the legendary Gustavo Roque came out smiling and screaming happily. Most of them came out sobbing or just looking depressed.
The crowd slowly diminished, leaving only around ten people sitting around the lobby of the concert hall. The African-American woman walked out to look at how many people were left and groaned in frustration. She'd auditioned around three hundred people in only a few hours and only ten people were left in this state. One of them had to be the next big thing.
"Number 357!" a voice called. Jackie looked up and realized that she was the only one left waiting in the waiting area. She stood up and walked on to the stage.
Gustavo Roque sat at a table with the African-American woman and four faces she knew all too well.
"Well, sing," Gustavo stated. Jackie took a deep breath before starting.
I never believed in the word lonely
Even when I found myself all alone
I never needed someone else to want me
To make me feel wanted
Cause deep inside I've always known
Who I am
All I am is
True to me
Faithfully
In a world where lies can let you down
I pick myself up off the ground
'Cause I'm true to me
Honestly
I've wrestled with conformity
And all that I can be is true to me
I always believed what people told me
Everyone tells you what you want to hear
I always thought that someone else would save me
But you can only save yourself
And nothing's ever been so clear
Like an open road
I call my own
True to me
Faithfully
In a world where lies can let you down
I pick myself up off the ground
Cause I'm true to me
Honestly
I've wrestled with conformity
And all that I can be is true to me
And it feels like
The sun is here
The sky is clear
And there's nothing but the smell of the rain
That's come and gone
True to me
Faithfully
In a world where lies can let you down
I pick myself up off the ground
Cause I'm true to me
Honestly
I've wrestled with conformity
And all that I can be is true to me
Jackie stopped singing and looked at the people sitting at the table. The four familiar faces, all boys, were smiling stupidly. The African-American woman was smiling brightly. And Gustavo Roque? Well, he was scowling.
"That was horrible," he said simply. The four boys and the woman began arguing with him.
"Gustavo, she's amazing!" the tallest one, a brunet, said.
"Yeah, she's good!" a shorter brunet agreed.
"She's the last one to audition at our last stop on this tour. We have to take her," the woman said to Gustavo.
"Fine," he replied.
"Great! What's your name?" Kelly asked Jackie.
Jackie paused for a second. "Jackie."
"Last name, too," Kelly said.
"Um, Diamond," she said quietly. The boys looked at her in shock. She looked away from them and at the African-American woman.
"Did she say Diamond?" Gustavo asked. "If she did, then no. I do NOT want another James running around in LA. I still can't stand him."
The tallest boy looked offended. "What did I do to make him hate me?" he asked the other boys, who shrugged.
Kelly began to argue with Gustavo.
"If it helps, I can't stand James either," Jackie offered.
"What did I do to make my little sister hate me?" he asked the other boys. They shrugged again.
"FINE! TAKE THE LITTLE DIAMOND, TOO!" Gustavo yelled. Jackie looked at him.
"Someone's got a set of lungs on him," she said, making the boys laugh. She glared at them. The boys immediately shut up.
"Great, instead of another James, we get another Kendall," Gustavo stated. "But she can make them shut up."
"That I can," Jackie said, smirking.
(page break)
"Jackie, why did you say you can't stand me?" James asked. Jackie ignored him and continued walking into the house. "DAD, I'M HOME!" she yelled. "WITH COMPANY," she added, glaring at James.
"I still have no idea what I did to get you to hate me," he said as his dad walked into the front hall. He greeted him with a hug and a "good to see you again".
"Well, there was an audition for Gustavo Roque's next big thing and he picked me, so can I go?" Jackie asked her dad.
"Of course, if that's what you want," her father replied, smiling.
"Thank you!" she responded, hugging her dad.
"James, go help your sister," her father said, pointing them to the staircase. Jackie groaned, turned on her heel, and walked up the lavish spiral staircase.
(page break)
"You have to talk to me sometime," James said, leaning against the doorframe. "We are going to be sharing a roof again in Los Angeles, you know."
"I know, and I'd rather not speak to you or anyone else more than absolutely necessary," she replied, pulling a suitcase from her closet.
"What did we do to you?" James asked. Jackie spun around and glared at him.
"You really don't know? You left, James! You didn't even say goodbye! You just up and left! And when I tried e-mailing you, you just replied like I was some fan!"
"Jackie, calm down," he replied, placing his hand on her shoulder. "I didn't mean to not say goodbye to you and I sure as hell didn't mean to reply to you like you were a fan."
"But you did. It doesn't matter if you meant to or not. You still did. All of you did. I can't stand any of you. Go to hell, James."
"Jackie, I'm sorry," James said.
"Sorry isn't just going to fix everything! Did you know that when you left, everyone ganged up on me? I was alone. That song I sang, it's about how I have to be there for myself! None of you were there when I needed you. Just forget it."
James fell silent as he watched his sister start placing things in her suitcase. He noticed a piece of paper on the otherwise spotless floor.
"Don't read my stuff!" Jackie yelled at him when she saw him looking at the paper.
"It was just on the floor! I didn't think it was anything important!"
Jackie grabbed the paper from his hands. Her face went white when she saw what he'd read.
"Who was that about?"
"No one important. Just forget about it," she said, stuffing the paper into her suitcase.
"You know I can't forget about it, Jackie. Who was that about?" James repeated.
"You don't need to know," she responded.
"You're my little sister; of course I need to know."
"You don't need to know," she repeated.
James dropped the subject for now.
(page break)
"She says she can't stand any of us?" Carlos asked. "What did we do?"
"Dude, with a Diamond, you never know what they're pissed off about," Logan whispered to Carlos.
James glared at him.
"What? It's true," Logan said, raising his hands like he was forming a truce.
"Okay, no fighting!" Kendall said, getting in between Logan and James. "Right now we have to figure out why she hates our guts."
"She says it's because we left without saying goodbye," James told Kendall.
"Well, that might piss someone off," Logan said.
"It definitely pissed Jackie off. She's hated our guts for a year now," James replied.
"Boys, come on, we have to go pick up Jackie to go to Los Angeles," Kelly said, pushing them into the limo. They arrived at the Diamond residence a few minutes later, where Jackie was standing at the curb, waiting with one bag and a guitar case.
"Hey, she brought less stuff than James did!" Carlos burst out. Kendall and Logan laughed while James smacked Carlos upside the head.
Jackie climbed into the limo and sat down without a word. She pulled out a thick book, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and started reading.
By the time they reached the airport, she was on the last page of the book. Kelly had to drag her out of the limo because she was so absorbed in the book.
When they'd stepped onto the plane and taken their seats, Jackie opened up another thick book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and began reading. By the time the plane landed, she had finished that book (and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince) and was halfway through Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
"She's really pissed at us, isn't she?" Carlos whispered. "She only reads that fast when she's pissed off."
"I think so," James replied, looking at his sister. She was walking next to Kelly, apparently absorbed in some conversation about something or the other.
(page break)
"No one's shown any interest in my work before," Kelly told Jackie.
"Well, I'm interested in finding out about a lot of different careers if this singing thing doesn't work out," Jackie replied.
"Wow, you are nothing like your brother."
"I don't want to be," Jackie said tersely. "But, what kind of stuff do you do?"
"Well, I mostly make sure the boys don't destroy anything, but I also make sure that they're on time for everything, which means I have to get them getting ready about two hours earlier because of James's obsession with his hair."
Jackie smiled and laughed at the memory. "I remember when he first became obsessed. He doesn't like anyone knowing, but being his little sister, I can say things because that's my job: to embarrass him. Okay, so when we were little, like eight and nine years old, James decided he wanted to dye his hair and found some blue paint. He covered his head in the stuff and then cut off almost all of his hair," Jackie said, laughing. "And our mom gave him this huge lecture about it. I especially love the pictures my parents took of him."
"So he's obsessed because your mother gave him a lecture about not painting his hair?"
"Basically," Jackie replied. "And she gave him the comb, which is now his 'lucky comb'. So stupid. I can't believe I'm related to him," she said as James and Carlos began to wrestle.
"Neither can I. You seem like a perfectly normal person," Kelly said.
"Well, I think I'm the only one in our entire one horse town who's at least half normal," Jackie replied. She looked on as Kendall tried breaking them up. For a second, hurt crossed her face, but she quickly squelched the expression. Jackie rolled her eyes and whistled. The boys stopped fighting immediately and stood up.
"You have to teach me how to do that," Kelly said.
Jackie laughed. "Definitely."
(page break)
"Good to see you again," Ms. Knight said upon seeing Jackie. She smiled brightly and attempted to hug her.
"Still have the no hugs rule," Jackie stated, taking a step back.
Ms. Knight nodded. "Right, I forgot about that. Anyway, you're sharing a room with Katie. Kendall, go show Jackie where her room is."
Jackie wanted to protest, but she didn't. She picked up her things and followed Kendall down the long hallway.
"It's good to see you again," he said, looking at her.
"I can't say the same for you," she replied, not looking at him.
"Well, here's the room," he said, pointing to a door. He walked away from her.
(page break)
"Well, what did she say?" Carlos asked.
"Nothing nice," Kendall replied.
"What're you talking about?" Ms. Knight asked.
"Jackie's mad at us," Logan answered.
"Well, I would be mad at you too if you left without saying goodbye," Katie said, walking into the living room.
"How did you know about that?" Kendall asked.
"Unlike you, I actually save people's e-mail addresses so I don't get confused as to who's sending me e-mails," Katie replied.
"So you knew she was mad at us?" James asked.
"Yes, I did. Now I have to go say hi to my friend, because she's not mad at me," Katie responded, walking towards her bedroom.
(page break)
"Hey, Jackie," Katie said, knowing to keep away from Jackie.
Normally, Jackie wasn't one for hugs. But, upon seeing Katie, she hugged the younger girl.
"Whoa, did Jackie Diamond just hug someone?" Katie asked.
"Yes, I did. You're the first person I'm thrilled to see since coming out here to Los Angeles," Jackie replied.
"I feel special," Katie joked, noticing a piece of paper in Jackie's suitcase. "What's that?"
"Oh, nothing important," Jackie replied, trying to shove it out of sight before Katie could grab it, but Katie was too fast for her. Katie started reading it out loud. Jackie groaned, blushed slightly, and put her head in her hands.
I kept your picture in my shoebox
I kept your picture in my shoebox
I kept your picture in my shoebox
I kept your picture in my shoebox
Right now is all we need
'Cuz this feels pretty good
And I would stop the world
Just to give us more time
I kept your photograph and sometimes I take a look
Do you think I should?
Are you gonna leave?
(Is she a better girl?)
And does she know about me
Hey you, I think you're going in the wrong direction
Hey you, I could be everything you want
And it's true
You must have been something special to me
'Cuz after all this time
I kept your picture in my shoebox
Tonight was you and me
And it felt pretty good
Just like we stopped the world
For a minute in time
And then you made me laugh
About all the things we did
Do you think we should?
Did you have to leave?
(And the other girl)
Does she know about me?
Hey you, I think you're going in the wrong direction
Hey you, I could be everything you want
And it's true
You must have been something special to me
'Cuz after all this time
I kept your picture in my shoebox
I hear you talk but your mouth is closed
You say the words and let me know
I can't speak I'm petrified
Wanna tell you what I feel inside
I kept your picture in my shoebox
I kept your picture in my shoebox
I kept your picture in my shoebox
Hey you, I think you're going in the wrong direction
Hey you, I could be everything you want
And it's true
You must have been something special to me
'Cuz after all this time
I kept your picture in my shoebox
I think you're going in the wrong direction
I could be everything you want
And it's true
You must have been something special to me
'Cuz after all this time
I kept your picture in my shoebox
I kept your picture in my shoebox
I kept your picture in my shoebox
I kept your picture in my shoebox
Katie looked up from the paper. "Who's this about? It's a good song," she said.
"Thanks, and it's not important who it's about," Jackie replied. She took the paper from Katie's hands and stuffed it back into her suitcase.
"You might be able to get away with saying that to James, but not me," Katie replied, folding her arms. "And you taught me everything I know about arguing."
"But not everything I know," Jackie replied.
"Jackie, tell me! I'll show you a song I wrote if you tell me who that one is about!" Katie begged.
"You wrote a song?" Jackie asked.
"Yes, and I'll show it to you if you tell me who that song is about!"
"Some loser dipshit asshole that cheated on me," Jackie responded. "I don't care about him anymore."
"Fine, I'll show you my song," Katie said, handing Jackie a piece of paper.
"'Jerkface Loser Boyfriend'?" Jackie read, laughing.
"Just sing," Katie replied, rolling her eyes. Jackie rolled her eyes back and started.
You got the view of the ocean
From the top floor of your apartment building
But every time we're together
It's all about you and your hair in the mirror
You never ask what I'm thinking, you
Never even try cause you're always so preoccupied
It's really funny how you freak out
Every time we go out and we gotta wait for a table
I'd really like to stay mad at you
How can I do it when you're just so cute?
You're my little jerk face loser boyfriend
You suck major; I don't know why I bother
You're my little jerk face loser boyfriend
You suck major; I don't know why I bother
I keep meaning to get rid of you
For some reason I, I just never do
Cause you're my little jerk face loser boyfriend
Loser boyfriend, little loser boyfriend
You roll your eyes when I'm angry
Or you turn the other way and you focus on the hostess
You're with your friends on my birthday, well
I knew that you'd forget so I wrote it on a post it
Yes, I can hear what you're saying cause
You talk so loud and your laugh is so annoying
And I'm running out of patience with this conversation
Please get over yourself fascination
I'd really like to walk out on you
How can I do it when you're just so cute?
You're my little jerk face loser boyfriend
You suck major; I don't know why I bother
You're my little jerk face loser boyfriend
You suck major; I don't know why I bother
I keep meaning to get rid of you
For some reason I, I just never do
Cause you're my little jerk face loser boyfriend
Loser boyfriend, little loser boyfriend
You drive me crazy but I just can't tell you goodbye
You're irritating but I just can't put you aside
Isn't fair that every time that I try
You look right at me with those big dumb eyes, why
You're my little jerk face loser boyfriend
You suck major; I don't know why I bother
You're my little jerk face loser boyfriend
You suck major; I don't know why I bother
I keep meaning to get rid of you
For some reason I, I just never do
Cause you're my little jerk face loser boyfriend
Loser boyfriend, little loser boyfriend
Loser boyfriend, loser boyfriend
Little loser boyfriend.
"Nice one," Jackie said, looking at the lyrics closely. "Wait, are you sure you don't have a crush on my brother? He is obsessed with his hair and the 'loser boyfriend' in the song sounds like him."
"I don't!" Katie said, turning red.
"Lies," Jackie replied, smirking.
"What would you do if I said I did?"
"I'd start laughing and ask what was wrong with you."
"Are you seriously saying that?"
"What? Who would have a crush on James, of all people?" Jackie looked at Katie. "Wait; is there something you're not telling me?"
"Stop it!" Katie yelled, blushing.
The songs used were Fearless by Taylor Swift, True To Me by Emily Osment, Shoebox by Emily Osment, and Jerkface Loser Boyfriend by Emily Osment. So could you tell me what you think? I usually don't ask for reviews, but I think this sucks and I want to get better at writing. But if it sucks, I'm still going to continue because my social life is, well, nonexistent. So I'm spending my life holed up in my bedroom, writing fan fictions.