"Doctor, you know, I was thinking…" Martha started.
The Doctor's head came up from over the console. He was sitting on the ground trying to fix something. "Yeah? Alright, let's hear it, then." He sounded mildly curious, but more interested in his broken bit of machinery.
Martha sighed. "I'm a nurse. Almost a doctor. Not like you're a Doctor. Oh, you known what I mean. But I was just thinking, I never get to be a nurse when I'm around you."
"Isn't that what a doctor's assistant is?" the Time Lord asked off-handedly. "Wait, no. Companion, isn't it? That's what you are. Companion and friend. Not an assistant."
She rolled her eyes, though she knew he wasn't looking at her. She tried not to feel hurt at his classification of her as "companion and friend". She knew it was pointless to ask for more than that. "Yeah, well, whatever the case may be, I don't get to use my doctoring skills very often."
"I suppose you don't," the Doctor agreed. "Are you asking if we can change that? Cos I don't want to get injured just so you can fix me."
Martha laughed. "No, that's not what I meant. But I was becoming a doctor so I could help people, you know, save lives."
"But we do that all the time!" the Doctor said, bemused.
"But people die, too, when we save other people! I just want to…to save one life, just to save a life. Not to save the world, or a city, or ourselves, or to defeat some evil aliens or whatever. Just one life, for its own sake." Martha shook her head. "Never mind, it sounds silly now."
The Doctor stood up suddenly. "No, it's not. Really, Martha, it's not silly at all. In fact, it's a brilliant idea. You're right—sometimes, we get carried away with the big pictures, don't we?"
"Yeah, I suppose we do." Martha looked at him. "So, does that mean we could do it?"
"Absolutely."
"Where? Or, I mean, when? And who?"
"Some where, when, and who that isn't a fixed point. That's the one rule when it comes to something like this. I can't risk saving someone of historical significance. I'm sure you understand." The Time Lord glanced over at her, eyes serious.
"Yeah, 'course. Paradoxes and all that, I get it."
"Okay. Allons-y." Martha recognized the sounds of the TARDIS in flight, and then they landed.
"Where are we?"
"Go and see." The Doctor gestured at the doors.
Martha opened the doors, apprehensively and excitedly. She tilted her head, confused. "But this, this is the hospital. Where I work. Used to work."
"Oh, you still work here. Go on, Martha." The Doctor smiled at her. "Go save a life."
"Aren't you coming?"
"Nah. This is for you. My gift."
Martha bit her lip. "You're coming back…Right?"
"Of course. Eight o'clock tonight. Cross my hearts." The Doctor actually flicked his fingers in 'x's across both sides of his chest. Martha smiled at his childishness and nodded.
"Right. I'll see you then. Um, what should I tell them?"
"You're here to work! It's the morning after you left with me. No problems."
"Oh. Brilliant. Thanks." Martha turned away from the blue box, shutting the door, and slipped out of the supply closet. The TARDIS engines started up. Martha was filled with a sudden urge to go back, to yank open those doors and say that she had changed her mind. What if the Doctor had decided that he'd had enough of her, this smart girl who just wasn't his Rose? Don't be stupid, she told herself. He wouldn't do that, and you know it.
How had Martha forgotten how hard this job was? Three months, was that all it took? She had forgotten how it felt to have to tell a parent that their child wasn't going to make it through the day. She had forgotten what it was like to have to watch as the parents tried to break the news to the child, the news that he was dying, and his confusion. He was too young to understand any of it. Only five years old. Damn it! How could the universe let that happen?
And why couldn't I stop it? Martha turned away from the window into the bare white room, filled with the pain of the cancer-ridden child and the sorrow-laced parents. Another woman, who bared a resemblance to the young boy's mother, came rushing in. A girl who could not have been more than eight or nine years old ran ahead of her. Martha should have stopped them. Only two visitors were allowed at a time in the intensive care unit. But she couldn't bring herself to do so. Looking at the boy's file, she noted that the girl was his older sister. Martha looked back into the room. The sister was clutching her little brother. She was crying, pushing her parents away, and the little boy was clinging on to her as well. The aunt, the woman who had brought the girl in, was hugging her own sister.
Martha couldn't watch anymore. She glanced up at a clock on the wall. It was eight o'clock. The Doctor would be back by now. She was going to leave. She didn't have the heart to stay. But as she walked away, she heard the far, far too familiar sound of the heart monitor flat-lining, and the mournful wailing that always accompanied the death of a child. Martha shook her head and kept walking. She'd had enough death to deal with over the past three months. It was someone else's turn.
The Doctor was silent. He had his back turned to the TARDIS door. It creaked as Martha walked in. There was a very long silence before the Doctor spoke.
"Saving one life," he said, "is never that simple." He didn't turn around.
"I know."
"Yes, you do. Of course you do."
"But that doesn't mean we can't try."
"Yeah, well, I've given up on trying. It doesn't work." His voice was bitter.
"You don't mean that."
"Don't I?"
"No. You know why? Because you're still going. And you know what, Doctor? I don't think you would have taken me away with you if you had given up on saving lives."
"I didn't say I'd given up on saving lives, saving people. But it's never as simple as you think it will be. Save one life, another always is lost in the process, as a consequence, in spite of. And so on." Now he did turn to look at her. She met his gaze equally.
"But it's not your fault. Everything ends, always. Sometimes, it's a life. Sometimes, it ends sooner than everyone would have liked. But it would have happened anyway, at some point or another."
"Is that what you learned?"
"Did you take me here to teach me a lesson?"
"Of some sort, I suppose. Did it work?"
"Maybe? Too early to tell."
"Are you staying with me?"
"Of course."
The Doctor smiled. He almost looked relieved. "Thank you."
"Where are we going?"
"Oh…" He pushed a button. "Anywhere. The TARDIS will choose for us."
"Sounds like a good adventure."
"Isn't it always?" The TARDIS began to hum, the engines filled with the infinity of the possible universe, the love of adventure, and the wonder of life.
Thank you for reading! This is the fifth in a series of one-shots I am doing, one with each of the Doctors and companion(s) of New Who. The first four are: The Red Bicycle, Faith and Trust, Nobody Was Done Dancing, and Admit Defeat. The next is The Diamond Reefs of Kataa Flo Ko!