I WAS WRITING SO MANY GRAYZA ONE-SHOTS I DECIDED TO MAKE A COLLECTION OKAY…. Who knows when it will get updated, because I have other multichaps that are a bigger priority…sadly.
Nobody here's perfect
Oh, but everyone's to blame
He had been waiting for her since he was eight years old.
Well, one could call it waiting, or one could call it staring at her when no one was looking, stammering like crazy whenever he tried to form small talk with her (and he usually ended up saying something like 'I love pineapples!'), and worrying about her. Frequently. Didn't help that the beautiful Erza Scarlet was an S-Class mage with a taste for danger. Also, his team didn't exactly get the easy jobs… or situations.
It had started when his Mother took him to the town fair. He remembered very little from that day, everything rather washed out and faded as all memories were before his family died in the Deliora attack-but he could remember one part as brightly as it had happened yesterday. He had begged his Mother to let his future be told by one of the local wizards, a humble old woman wrapped in a shawl who drew everything she saw in the person's future. His Mother had been wary, perhaps because she didn't quite believe that fair wizards magic was valid. Still, maybe it was something in his pleading eyes that caused her to give in. He had scampered away as soon as she gave him the money, and didn't give her a chance to catch up.
The old woman had said nothing upon his arrival at her stall, merely took his hand and closed her eyes, her other hand scrawling upon the paper before her. He was nervous to see what his future could hold, wondering if it was good or bad. He paid the woman eagerly with his jewl when she was finished, seizing the drawing and darting away before any pleasantries could be exchanged. He had unfurled the drawing, and was instantly disappointed. Instead of seeing what he had hoped to see (him being the richest boy in all of Fiore) it was a drawing of a girl. He had fought the urge to tear up the paper to shreds, instead letting himself be captivated by her tiny beauty. The woman hadn't colored it in, but he still took in the short hair that fell to her chin, one eye narrowed in determination, the eye patch covering the other eye. A dress that looked more like a sack fell to her knees.
He had hid the drawing from his Mother, saying that he decided not to get his future told after all, instead picking out a nice treat from another vender. He always kept the drawing close however, and stared at it sometimes when he couldn't fall asleep. He used to wonder what color her hair was, her eyes were. Always wondering.
Deliora ruined his daydreams. He never found the picture among the rubble, and in the years that passed, after what happened to Ur… her lovely little face faded from his mind. And he found his way to Fairy Tail. He got older; he stopped trying to remember her face.
And then she came into the Guild. He still remembered that day, Cana's mocking voice saying he would be lucky, when honestly he couldn't remember the last time he actually had perceived the aura of luckiness.
Everyone turned around when they heard her quiet footsteps on the wooden floor. Gray was more stunned than everyone else though, because he knew that face. The pretty girl from his drawing was staring back at him. And her hair was scarlet. Such a beautiful scarlet. The color of wildflowers, something he didn't expect it to be. Her eyes, that beautiful brown. And he hated her. She reminded him of everything he'd lost, of everything that had changed.
Erza Scarlet. He had fought her many times before sinking into the soft sand beside the river's bed, his hands on his thighs as he gritted his teeth and gave in to being her friend. Somehow, something inside him always wanted to be more than her friend. She deserved someone like Jellal. Still, those three words rose to his lips whenever she touched him, whether it was an accidental brushing of shoulders, or a reassuring pat- or god forbid a hug. Lucky. Cana had said that to him on the day she came into his life with her tattered dress and shorn hair.
Yet she couldn't see his feelings for her, it didn't seem like anyone could. No one should. Because how could someone like him be in love with Erza? His teammate, his nakama. It was practically forbidden. And yet she was all he could see when he closed his eyes. She was all he could see ever.
He didn't want to go back to the guild. It had gotten harder after the seven years spent away, harder after Erza barely seemed to look at him. She was distracted, he could see that. Who couldn't?
So here he was, kicking at the beach sand in front of the ocean's pristine waves, an expression that could only be expressed as 'sour grapes' contorting his features. It hit him hard sometimes, her ignorance. He wanted to scream in her face that he was desperately in love with her, but he knew he would never work up the courage.
"You shouldn't be out here alone." Her voice speaks from behind him, smooth and calculated. Cool.
"I think I can handle myself." He answers curtly, not taking his eyes off from the horizon, although he thinks his shoulders have tensed noticeably. He's rather praying she will take her armor-clad ass back to the guild, so he doesn't have to revel in how close she is. How many feet it would take for him to stroll over and kiss her senseless. Of course, no one listens to his prayers.
She sinks down next to him, stretching her legs out in front of her. He notices she's not wearing shoes, a peculiar choice. Her pale feet look delicate outside of their brawny boots. She's far enough away that he doesn't feel like he's going to complexly lose it, but close enough for their knees to be brushing lightly against one another. He's wearing pants, but he swears he can feel the warmth through the light fabric.
"I know you can." She replies, her voice light as she surveys the horizon, containing the sinking sun and staining the sky various shades of pink and yellow. Her brown eyes are fixed on the sunset, and he can't help but think about how she's always looking at something but him.
"So why are you here?" he asks, not quite meaning to sound rude. He reaches a hand to muss up his black hair, an unconscious habit he's suddenly aware of. He moves his hand back to his lap.
"I thought you might be desiring some company." She speaks in that formal way of hers, the words articulated and stiff. He wonders where she's picked that up from, because it certainly isn't from her time at Fairy Tail.
"Thanks." He says stiffly, not quite looking her in the eyes. He can't really, not after they just got back from the disaster involving the clock pieces. Not with Fairy Tail still the weakest guild in Fiore. Somehow she makes him feel it's his fault, mostly because he wishes he could have protected the guild better than this.
"What is on your mind?" she inquires, brushing his shoulder playfully. He looks down at her, the contact making him blush. She's smiling up at him, with that beautiful half-smile of hers. He almost wants to draw her into a hug, but her next words ruin the moment for him. "Is it Juvia?"
It's not that he doesn't like Juvia, she is his nakama (in some ways at least) but it's rather her stalk-ish nature in pursuing him. Maybe if she wasn't always talking about her fantasies involving him while he was in hearing distance…. Maybe it could have worked.
"No." he says quickly, "Just thinking about how much has changed," he waves a hand around to amplify his point, "these past seven years."
"Aren't we all?" she responds, this time her eyes faraway. "Especially after everything that's happened." He knows that it's shaken her, and if he's admitting to himself, it shook him to.
"Nothing can go back to the way it was." He agrees, laying back against the sand and stretching his arms above his head. Behind him is the old guild, and empty skeleton against the pink tinged sky. It used to be so full, and now it was so very empty. He liked the new guild all right, but he couldn't help but miss what had been lost.
"Seven years." Erza repeated slowly, lying back with him. "We should've, could've been married by now." The words surprise him, and he looks over at her in surprise. She's blushing. "To other people I mean." She quickly clarifies.
"Like Jellal?" he says before he can stop himself, the words rushing out of his mouth in one sarcastic wave. He hasn't meant to sound so condescending, but he knows that's exactly what he sounded like.
She doesn't answer him, just purses her lips like she disapproves of his words. After several minutes she finally speaks, "He's in prison." She reminds him coldly, "In case you'd forgotten. And I helped put him there."
"No you didn't." He argues, "He put himself in there."
"You could say that. Speaking of love lives, when are you going to make yourself clear to Juvia?" her eyes flicker towards him.
"There is nothing for me to declare to her that I haven't already said." He says, "Unlike you, Mira, and everyone in the whole damn guild thinks, I am not in love with her."
"I could have guessed that." She admits.
"Then why did you bring it up?"
"You brought up Jellal."
"Why did you really come out here?" he demands.
"Can't I just be a nice friend?" she raises one eyebrow. He gives her a pointed look and she rolls her eyes. "Fine. Natsu wanted to go on a mission tomorrow. I said I would ask you."
"Sure." He says, not even bothering to ask what it is. She gets up to leave, brushing the sand off her skirt and giving him on last forlorn look.
"You can always talk to me." She reminds him, and then leaves the beach. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.
You're wrong. He wants to shout after her, wants to yell it in her face with everything he has. He can't tell her anything. He can't tell her the one thing that truly matters. Can't bring to his lips, can't even make himself think it. It drowns in his brain before the thought is even fully born. He doesn't quite want to admit to himself, but does it anyways. Because now it's blatantly obvious, just based on their conversation.
He's in love with Erza Scarlet. And Gray Fullbuster, feeling as useless as ever, can't do anything about it. It's killing him slowly, from the inside out. Strangling his every thought, his every word. She's in love with Jellal, that's obvious to him. He has to be. She most certainly isn't in love with him. She probably views him as a comrade, an annoying counterpart she had to deal with on a daily basis.
He pulls his shirt off over his head absently, biting his lip as he digs his toes into the sand. He rolls back his neck, feeling a little more relieved than before with his realization.
Because he'll always keep waiting for her, he decides. Always. No matter how long it takes.