Disclaimer: I do not own Samantha Nixon. She is property of Talkback Thames. This is a very short and unclear one-shot that I'll leave to your imagination really. So get reading and you'll see what I mean!

I don't know what to say really. Only that I'm so confused. I'm taking a holiday for a while. I don't know where I'm going and I don't know when I'm coming back, if I'm coming back. Recently I've seen you in a different light. Have you been a different person? Have you changed? Or have I changed? I don't know, I can't tell you that.

All I know is that I can't cope any longer. I need some space, some time to come to terms with what I feel. No, actually that's a lie. I know what I feel. I need some time to get rid of my feelings for you.

Every time I see your smile my face lights up. I can't be like that forever. I don't know if you feel the same way or not, but it wouldn't make a difference. I can't be in a relationship, it just wouldn't work. I've done it so many times before, and look how they all ended. Disaster.

I don't want that anymore. I need to be happy in life, and even though you make me happy, I know I could never make you happy, I'd screw up, I always do. If being single is the only way for me to be happy then so be it. I know I feel happy around you, but I don't want to be hurt again. If losing my feelings for you is the only way for me to be happy then so be it.

I come into work every day and see your face, I look forward to it all morning, but when I finally do, what I feel is unexplainable. I don't want to end up with you just to go wrong and hat feeling turn into pain. Because a feeling this good would cause so much pain. Unbearable pain. I can't do that to you or myself.

I wish I could tell you face to face how I feel, but it would be too awkward. Just promise me one thing, you'll never speak of this. It'd break my heart if I were forced to discuss it with you. Just forget this ever happened; forget I ever wrote it; forget I ever sent it. Trust me, it'll be easier that way.

I wish I could bring myself to say those three little words that everyone knows. But I can't bring myself to speak them, I can't bring myself to write them down, because if I did then there'd be no going back. I wouldn't be able to forget you if I said that, and I need to forget you. I'm sorry.

I hope I'll be back, but who knows? My feelings for you are so strong. If I can't erase them then I can't come back and see you again. So this could be a final goodbye, I don't know. If it is then there's only one more thing I need to tell you; be happy. Find love or whatever you want for happiness. Don't dwell on the past; don't dwell on me.

Sam xx

Well, I'll leave that for you to dwell on. The note is for you, not personally! But to view it how you wish. Whoever you want it to be for, then that's who it's for. Phil? Stuart? Jo? Mickey? Neil? Smithy? Terry? Who knows, maybe even Gina! I'll leave you to choose!

Tell me who you'd like it to be for though! I might try that pairing for my next fic, try something a little different.