Last Christmas

Story by CherryBlossom210

Chapter One

There was nothing more that I ever wanted than to be by his side, whether if he loved me or not. I never expected much than just a smile, a hug, or a simple sarcastic comment. That was just how he was and who he was, and I adored him because of that. I can remember how we first met on my first day of school. Who could ever forget that cute blush he made when I helped him out? At least I couldn't. For a guy like him, his outer facade is just of another bad boy. He wasn't really the type to open up, but he slowly got to open up to me.

Days passed since then and our relationship grew deeper. Gradually, he would hold my hand to class more often, hold me when I'm at my weakest points, and I didn't even know if we were friends or even if we were lovers. He had said nothing, not even a confession; not a simple, "I love you" to ease the anxiety flowing through me. He would just smile and hold my hand again on the way to class as if nothing was more important than where we were now. The more I spent time with him, the more I was falling deeper and deeper. I couldn't catch myself anymore, it was very much too late. I was so in love..

But that was all last year.

That was all last Christmas.

When he tore my heart apart.

...

Staring up into the weary sky, a black haired girl lied still in the soft snow with her arms above her head. Her white ear muffs nuzzled against her skin and her black down jacket kept in all of her body warmth from escaping her. She sighed, causing her breath to freeze in the frosty air. The girl watched as each snow flake danced down from the sky, as if it was a ballerina skipping and jumping every time the wind blew against it.

Christmas was next week and this girl was in no mood for giving.

"Ashley, come inside. You'll get sick if you stay out in the snow too long," her aunt happened to call her from the from door. "I'm coming Auntie Judith," Ashley grunted as she got up and patted the snow off of her.

Once inside, Ashley was hit with the aroma of hot chocolate and the smell of gingerbread cookies, fresh out of the oven. Ashley rolled her eyes at her aunt, once she saw her putting up the Christmas tree. "Come help me please," her aunt waved at her to hold the ladder, wanting to put the angel at the top of the tree.

"You know you don't have to celebrate Christmas with me, Auntie," Ashley yawned as she held the ladder. "Ashley, please don't start this. I know last Christmas was a bit hard on you, but cheer up!"

"A 'bit' hard?" Ashley glared at Judith, grunting at her for ever saying that. Memories of last Christmas was painful for her to remember, something that her heart wouldn't be able to handle. "Look, you just moved back into town since you've graduated high school in New York. Be a little more grateful I'm doing something for you."

"Yeah..," Ashley huffed out. Suddenly, there was a little chime from her phone, indicating she had a text message. When she looked at her phone, she saw that it was from Rosalya.

Hey Ashley, come to the Christmas party tonight at the community center.

I know you just came back last week, but you need some quality time with friends to get out of the house.

I'll be expecting you to be there. It starts in two hours, at 7 pm, so you better get ready now. Dress up in something nice or I'll drag you to the store.

- Rosalya

Ashley groaned as she read the text message. She could bail out and lie to Rosa and say that she was sick, but then again, Rosa was her best friend. She couldn't let her down like that.

"Auntie."

"Hmm?" Ashley's aunt looked at her while she sucked on a candy cane.

"I'm going to go to a Christmas party with Rosalya in a few hours."

The woman looked at her niece strangely and raised one of her eyebrows. "Oh really now, I thought you didn't like Christmas anymore."

Ashley rolled her brown eyes at her aunt's comment and walked up stairs to her room and prepared herself for a shower. Laying out her clothes on her bed, she chose her red velvet bell bottom pants, with sequinned flowers going down each side, a black turtleneck tunic, and a green pea coat that had down feathers sewn inside.

Taking her time in the shower, she scrubbed the cold dead skin off of her body and lathered some of her favorite strawberry shampoo into her black locks before rinsing herself off with warm water.

An hour and thirty minutes passed by while Ashley dressed herself, styled her hair, and placed makeup on her face. She made a hard decision on what earrings to wear, but she decided to go with the black heart earrings that dangled from her earlobes. Looking at the time on the clock, Ashley shoved her boots on her feet, grabbed her purse, and walked down stairs to the front door.

"I'm going Auntie Judith," she yelled through the echoing house. "Okay sweetheart, be back before 10 pm and be safe," Judith exclaimed back as she popped her head around the corner from the kitchen.

With that, Ashley opened the front door and closed it carefully behind her.

"Hey Ashley! Over here," a girl with long, silver hair, waved her hand frantically in the air. It was just a little after 7 pm. A little late, but better than not being there.

"Hey Rosalya," Ashley replied with a soft smile on her face, but she felt very stiff. "You look good girly, just what I would pick out for you," Rosalya complemented on Ashley's ensemble. "Thanks Rosa, it's been awhile."

A tall man stood next to Rosa and he coughed as if he didn't want to be left out of the introduction.

"Oh hey, Leigh. I didn't see you there. Your jacket kinda blended in to the wall."

Leigh's voice hitched as if he were a little insulted. "See, I told you not to wear that color jacket," Rosalya shot at him.

"I just grabbed whatever matched my outfit," Leigh argued back.

Ashley chuckled a little bit to the couple quarreling in front of her, feeling a bit jealous and left out. "Let's go inside guys. It's kinda cold out here," Ashley said, stating the obvious.

Once inside, Ashley observed the decorations that were hung and placed everywhere. Where the tree was at, how the tables were set up, where the food was, how the tinsel was hanging from the ceiling like snowflakes, where the wreaths were on the walls, even how lights were placed everywhere; the place really felt like Christmas

The place wasn't decorated to be all fancy, but just enough to set that comforting mood.

"So are the others going to be here or am I just being a third wheel," Ashley asked bluntly. She was the type of girl who was straight forward and didn't like beating around the bush. It was either, you get to the point or you don't say it at all. She wasn't always like this, just mostly when she wasn't in a very happy mood.

"Very blunt aren't you," Rosalya asked.

"Yes, yes I am."

"Well your majesty, there will be others. Just be patient, they aren't here yet," Rosa spatted out, putting her hands on her hips in an arrogant manner.

Rosalya wasn't exactly a timid girl. She hated to be bossed around and becomes a little rude whenever she suspects someone trying to drag her along. She knew how Ashley was when she was in a bad mood, she just wished she wasn't so straight forward about everything. Then again, Ashley was her best friend and she was glad she moved back into town. Rosa knew what happened last Christmas and it was hurting Ashley just by being surrounded by couples in the Christmas mood. But Rosalya knew both sides to the story. She only invited Ashley here hoping to make things right again.

"Is... he going to be here," Ashley asked hesitantly.

Rosalya stared at her friend as if she saw someone getting murdered brutally. "Umm... maybe, maybe not?"

"Yes or no, Rosa!"

"I don't know, okay?! I'm sorry, but I can't promise you a yes or a no," Rosalya stuck out her tongue childishly.

Ashley sighed again, asking herself why she even came at all. She felt a little relieved that he might not come, but then again, she felt a little sad about that.

"Whatever, I'm gonna take my coat off. I want to get something to drink," Ashley said as she hung her jacket on the jacket hook and went to the food table to get some punch.

"Do you really think this will work Rosa? It might make things worse between them," Leigh asked, a bit concerned about the plan.

"I don't know, but I just can't sit here and watch them be miserable without each other. I had to do something," Rosalya said as she sat down at a random table.

"I know I can't be cupid, but I want them to at least come to an understanding. That guy wasn't himself after Ashley left and now Ashley doesn't seem her happy self anymore either."

"I know.. Lysander told me the same. Even when I pass by him on the streets, seeing him walking his dog, he doesn't seem to be the same hot-tempered guy everyone knew. People would accidentally bump into him, and instead of cussing them out, he would apologize and blame himself for not looking where he was going," Leigh said as he crossed his arms against his chest.

Christmas music was playing and it surely made the atmosphere all jolly and sparkly, but to Ashley, she wasn't really in the Christmas mood. She sat down on a long couch against the wall across from the dance floor, watching all of the friends and couples dancing all merrily. Not only she felt a little sad watching them all, she also felt a bit envious. There were types of people who liked being alone, but she was not one of those kinds of people. Ashley was always use to having company around her. So not having the one she loved the most by her side, made her feel alone.

Closing her eyes a bit and taking a sip of her punch, Ashley felt a vibration as if someone just sat down on the other end of the couch. Though she didn't pay much attention to it, she could hear a familiar voice from beside her talking to another familiar voice. Once she opened her eyes, she couldn't help but notice bright red in the corner of her eye.

'No it couldn't be, I'm just seeing things,' Ashley thought as she finished off her drink.

Still thirsty as ever, the girl got back up off the couch to go to the food table, and poured more punch into her cup. Once Ashley walked back to her seat, her eyes darted to the other end of the couch and her breath hitched loudly. It caught the attention of the person she was looking at, and he was just as shocked to see her as much as she sees him.

"Ashley..," the man spoke to her in such a soft, but confused way.

"Castiel...," Ashley said back, as she dropped her drink all over the tiled floor. "Ack!" Confused and flustered at the same time, Ashley dropped to her knees, attempting to clean up the drink with the only napkin she had. She was failing miserably.

"Still clumsy as ever, I see," the red-head knelt down next to her after he grabbed more napkins to help her clean up. "What are you doing here, I thought you weren't going to come to a Christmas party."

"That's what I should be saying. I thought you left for good," Castiel shot back at her.

Ashley opened her mouth to say something, but she closed her mouth when she couldn't think of a comeback. "Anyways, how have you been," Castiel changed the subject to avoid causing a scene. Ashley wiped up the rest of the red mess and did her best not to say something wrong. "I guess I've been fine. What about you," her chest felt heavier the longer she was in his presence.

"Miserable," Castiel spoke out flatly how he felt.

Ashley quickly glanced over at Castiel. It was true that he didn't look well; he was much skinnier and paler than he use to be. His stern face was softened, but in a way it made him look depressed. Then she felt Castiel's hand brush against hers as he went to retrieve the dirty napkins she had. She flinched from the skin to skin contact they made. Unintentionally feeling her reaction, Castiel felt a little more hurt. "I'll understand if you don't want to talk things out, but don't run away from me this time."

The girl's her fluttered with old feelings, but with the hurt expression on her face, Castiel could tell him just being there was killing her. "Run away?" Ashley started. "Run away? How could I not run away when I saw you locking lips with Amber?"

Ashley's patience grew too thin, and she let her feelings dominate the matter. She clenched her teeth together as if she was ready to punch Castiel in the face.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Castiel gripped his fingers tightly around the dirty napkin, close to piercing his flesh with his fingernails. "Don't play dumb," Ashley shot herself up to her feet, catching everyone's undivided attention. She flung her finger at him and clenched her teeth even harder till they almost felt like they were going to break. "I saw you kissing Amber right after I confessed to you on Christmas day last year, you didn't push her away or anything!"

Castiel also stood on his feet, letting anger wash over him. He threw the napkin to the floor and smacked Ashley's pointing finger away.

"I wasn't kissing her! She kissed me, dammit! I was too shocked to move, you know how disgusted I felt?!"

Ashley crossed her arms in disbelief. "I don't believe you, you saw me after I saw you! You didn't even run after me to disprove anything!"

"If I tried to explain anything to you, you wouldn't have believed me anyway!"

Dumbfounded as she was, Ashley became utterly speechless. Probably because Castiel was right. She probably wouldn't have believed him even if he had explained everything to her right when is happened.

Ashley uncrossed her arms from her chest and brought them down to her sides. With her brown irises, she looked deep into Castiel's eyes. She could see the feelings of anger, fear, and even hope, locked away in his stormy gray eyes. His eyes were firing up a storm. His emotions stormed his mind like a hurricane and he couldn't control the feeling of being blown down by the buffeting winds. "You never even responded to my feelings, Castiel. Seeing you with her, it felt like I was completely rejected," she spoke softly, trying to steady her racing heart.

Seeing her calm down, Castiel's tensed body relaxed a little. But all and all, he really felt like giving up. "You never gave me the chance to respond, before you ran away, leaving everything behind," Castiel hissed at her as he bent down to pick up the napkin he threw on the floor.

"You know what? Fuck it. I was actually really happy to hear you came back. That's why I came to this stupid ass party at all. I was all ready to set things straight and tell you how I felt," Castiel's scowl worsened as his mouth lashed out everything on his mind.

"But seeing as how things are, you're just being an arrogant bitch," he finally spat at her and turned to walk away. "Castiel, don't you think that was a little harsh," Castiel's best friend tried to consult him, who was behind him the whole time. "Shut up, Lysander. I don't care anymore," Castiel brushed his friend's hand away from his shoulder and walked off towards the exit.

Stunned. Ashley was stunned, shocked really. She was use to him saying things like that to her when they first met, but now... he seemed serious. It really looked as if he meant it. Was he going to really give up on her after all? Even though she longed to hear him return her feelings?

Just now realizing from the point she opened her mouth, she screwed up. She really screwed up the chances of him ever returning her feelings.

"Shit," Ashley cursed under her breath as she made a run for the exit. Whipping through the door, the bitter cold tingled at her skin and froze the salty tears running down her face. She didn't have her jacket on and it wasn't exactly safe outside to not have one on.

But she just had to catch up with Castiel, she just had to.

"Castiel!" Ashley yelled into the frozen tundra, hoping he wasn't far. "Castiel!"

Ashley's skin felt frozen, as if a million needles were stabbing her all at once. The more she cried out his name, the more tears welled up in her eyes. "Castiel please! I'm sorry!"

She warily walked through the snow, fighting the cold that was trying to drag her down. Suddenly seeing a familiar red head putting on a motorcycle helmet across the street, Ashley ran in that direction not paying attention to oncoming traffic. "Castiel!" Ashley yelled out to him and caught his attention. He looked her way and the dread of fear engraved his face as a large pick-up was headed right towards the girl.

"Ashley! Watch out!" Castiel dropped his helmet and dashed towards the black haired girl.

The girl turned to see the vehicle speeding her way and she screamed and closed her eyes, ready for impact. But two hands pressed against her arm and pushed her roughly out of the way, and she landed on the other side of the road. Last thing she heard before she hit the ground was a big BANG and something heavy hitting the snow covered road.

She got up on her hands and knees with her heart racing at mustang speed. Her pupils grew small and her eyes grew wider. Ashley couldn't believe it, her body couldn't move at all. There lying on the ground in front of her was Castiel's unconscious body, with a small pool of blood surrounding his head and his right leg bending in a way it shouldn't.

"NO, CASTIEL!"

Ashley screamed at the top of her lungs and scurried to Castiel with how much her freezing arms and legs could take her. "Castiel please... please wake up!"

She held his unconscious body close to her chest, crying uncontrollably. Then the sound of a car door slammed open and closed. "Holy shit..., holy shit," the person grabbed out his phone and frantically called 911.

"Castiel.. please don't die," Ashley sobbed once more into Castiel's shoulder before the sound of sirens filled the air.

"I love you, Castiel..."

To Be Continued...