Because the Bioware Anders fan-thread comunity drives me to do crazy things. F!Cousland/Alistair/F!Hawke/Anders+others. DA2 is Biowares. Its not mine. Just taking the characters out for a spppppiiiiinnn.

The Champion of Kirkwall. The title always felt like undercloths that didn't fit. Itchy, tight, and had been two and a half years since she'd dueled the Arishok for the safety of Kirkwall and the right to keep Isabela from what ever it was Quinari did to thieves of ancient holy relics. Almost three years, and the title still didn't feel right.

She stepped into the Vicount's Keep, if you could even call it that anymore, and took a deep breath. A rather well payed messenger had left a very official looking letter for her that very morning, and it bore the Royal Seal of Ferelden. The Hound. Anders had been skeptical.

"Love are you sure its wise to trust messengers with the Ferelden seal?"

"Why shouldn't I trust it, Anders? We're Ferelden.. well at least I'm Ferelden." she'd teased. Anders was originally from the Anderfels, not Ferelden.

"I worry for you, love. It's never a good idea to have the attention of the powerful."

They'd gone anyway, despite Anders' protests to the contrary. Not before insisting on the whole crew join them. Hawke stumbled forward a bit as the rest of their crazy band of .. well, crazy, pushed their way in behind her.

"Hawke will you move please! You're not nearly as petite as you used to be when you lived in Lowtown." Isabela snarked, being squished between herself and a grumbling Fenris.

"Do'ya think Seneshal Bran will let me visit the gardens while we're here?" Merrill asked quietly, mostly to herself then to any one in particular.

Hawke grumbled and shuffled forward, allowing the sultry pirate room to untangle herself from Fernis's spikey armor. "Why are we here, Hawke?" the brooding elf asked, his distaste for this particular building hidden from no one.

"Blondie insisted. Something about Ferelden Nobility calling on our dear sweet Hawke." Varric smirked, having managed to sidestep the jumble of bodies at the front door.

Fenris grunted. The abomination and Hawke were a sensitive topic, always. He and Hawke had experienced what the term 'sexual tension' was all about a few years back, and he'd never quite forgiven himself for leaving and allowing Anders the opportunity to sweep Hawke off her feet.

"I just didn't think it a good idea for her to be here, alone, in a room full of templars, with royalty is all."

"Where's Avaline?" Isabela had managed to untangle herself and was looking around the room as if gauging her ability to rob or seduce someone.

"She said she'd meet us here. Its not as if she doesn't live and work here anyways." Hawke smirked at the pirate.

"Right. So Hawke, who are we supposed to be meeting, again?" Varric grinned up at Hawke.

"The King of Ferelden. It's all very sneaky and suspicious, according to Anders. Personally I hear he's rather attractive. Maybe we can convince him to come down for drinks later."

"Ha, now that would be a story worth telling!"

Avaline had materialized, "If you lot don't stop making such a ruckus in my lobby I'll have you all thrown out. Also, you're late. The Knight-Commander has gotten word of your Visitor and is currently berating him in the lounge."

"Shit. Merrill, go see if Donnic needs any help, will you? Stay in the barracks. Don't leave till we come get you." Hawke said, her dark eyebrows knitted together in worry.

"Alright Hawke." Merrill sighed. There was no talking Hawke out of protecting the little elf, and Merrill was long past trying to argue the point. Instead she padded, barefoot and adorable, towards the barracks, calling out to Donnic as she disapeared around the corner.

The rest headed towards the Vicount's Lounge. In the previous years it had always been full of annoyed nobles waiting for their turn to complain about the neighbors,the noise, the bandits, or maker knows what else. Since the Vicount's death, however, it was suspiciously void of anyone... save for an irate Meredith berating a well armored blond man and a very pretty brunette woman.

"A Woman?" Hawke thought to herself, "the note hadn't mentioned a woman."

"...Three mages have fled to Ferelden, and you have intervened to protect them, as if it is your right to do so!" Meredith was raging, her finger pressed against the breastplate of the blond man. His armor make and fine sword indicated that this man was none other then King Alistair. "What other answer did you expect, your Majesty?"

"I'll kindly request you remove your finger from my husband's chest, before I remove it for you, Knight-Commander. You may be the power here in this city.. but I suspect you'll not want to cause a scene with the royal court of Ferelden." The dark haired woman was saying, her bright blue eyes filled with a confidence that Hawke was none to keen on messing with.

"A maybe might have been nice." King Alistair's voice dripped with snark. Hawke liked this man already.

"I do not deal in maybes, I deal in cold, hard, facts. As should you." Meredith seethed, her eyes flipping from the King to the petite dark haired beauty standing next to him. "Perhaps when Ferelden next chooses a king, it will be one that takes his duties to the Maker seriously."

"What we chose to do, or not to do, in Ferelden, is none of your concern, Knight-Commander. We've made our decision on this matter. Now, if you will excuse us, the person we've been expected just walked in the door." Alistair said, smirking lightly.

Meredith took one glance at The Apostate Champion and her Rag-tag crew of companions, and stormed out. Hawke laughed as the door shut behind her. "Seems like I'm not the only one who likes watching her turn four shades of red."

"Well, that was awkward. You must be the Champion. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Sadly, I was hoping to meet with you before the Knight-Commander caught word of our arrival. I'm King Alistair, and this is my scary but beautiful wife..."

"Elissa!"

"Anders? What in Andraste's name are you doing here!" The petite woman laughed as Anders surged foward for a hug. He picked the well-dressed queen up in his arms and spun her around, laughing, before setting her gently back down on the ground.

"Er, sorry about that. I couldn't help it." Anders said, glancing at Hawke and Alistair with a blush on his pale cheeks.

Hawke laughed, "So I see you've met. Another aquaitance from Ameranthine then?" She smirked at her lover as he stepped gingerly away from the pretty dark haired queen.

"Yes, Elissa was the one who made me a Warden. I've told you this story. She saved me from the circle."

"Ah yes, I remember you now. Snarky mage who hit on my wife continuously for 6 months while she was saving the world a second time and I was stuck doing King-things." Alistair's voice was playful, but the warning behind his eyes was clear enough.

"You never did answer my question, Anders." Elissa said, a stirn look on her pretty face. Hawke got the distinct impression that this little woman was much tougher then the silken gown and well-done hairdo gave on.

"Yes well, its a long and boring story about how the Wardens stuck me with a templar after you left and.. something to do with Justice, and this really isn't the place to talk about it here. You two should come by Hawke's... our estate later and I'll tell you all about it. I promise."

Elissa's eyebrows lifted slightly at the 'ours' comment, and her eyes flickered over Hawke in a way that gave her a moment's pause. "Pinky Promise?" Elissa said, her blue eyes shifting back towards Anders. Her voice seemed filled with worry.

"Is there any other kind, with you, dear warden-commander?" Anders smriked, bowing towards the woman mockingly.

"Don't make me kick your ass again." She returned the playful smirk with a laugh.

"What am I, chopped Nug-liver?"

"Isabela?" Alistair's eyebrows lifted as the Pirate queen made herself known. "Ah... You look different." The blush creeping up the mans neck was telling. As telling as the story Isabela had relayed once about a lurid trist she had with 'The Hero of Ferelden and her handsome companion'.

"Hmnm, don't well all. So, a King and Queen, now? Moving up in the world. I definitely have more room to brag, don't I." Isabela laughed, "Guess that 'borrowing for the summer' thing is out, then?" she said pointedly at the queen.

"Only if you let me borrow your ship, Isabela." Elissa winked, her voice full of laughter.

"Well, now that we know that you two know my Anders and our resident Pirate Queen, " Hawke winked towards Isabela, "let me introduce you to the rest of my crew. This, is Avaline Hendyr, Captain of the Guard here in Kirkwall, and unoffical big sister. She keeps me out of trouble, and I keep her knee-deep in it."

Avaline went down on one knee, "Your Magisties.. may I say, what an honor it is to meet you both."

King Alistair chuckled lightly, "Well you could, but you'd be the first today."

"I fought at Ostagar. What happened there... was a great tragedy."

"Yes, It was. But, thanks to my Indestructible Goddess, the man responsible has payed for that." Alistair said, his eyes holding a sadness that his proud smile betrayed.

"And this, is Varric Tethras. Head of House Tethras, Paragon of Manlyness, and my personal story-teller." Hawke smirked as she Introduced her best friend.

"At your service." Varric bowed in the manner that dwarves could bow, "Once you are done with Hawke and Blondie at the mansion, I invite you down to The Hangged man so that you can regal me with stories of your journey across Ferelden. I have a feeling that bard who sings your stories isn't quite as.. apt.. at embellishment as I am."

Alistair and Elissa laughed, "Leliana." they said, simultaneously.

"And lastly, there's Fenris. He's got.. a unique gift. I owe him my life several dozen times over. A more skilled warrior you'll never meet." Hawke said firmly, meaning every word. The Elf raised a single dark eyebrow in her direction at the kind words. His eyes shifted away, the flush in his cheeks not quite deep enough to give him away.

"Oh I don't know about that. Perhaps I'll have to test him with some sparing before we leave. Could I love? You wouldn't mind would you? Its been ages since I've hit something and I have the sinking suspicion that It will distract me from hitting Anders." Elissa turned towards Alistair, her eyes full of pleading earnest.

"Of course dear. I would never presume to tell you not to do something. If I did there would be fear that you would do to me what you did to that Archdemon." Alistair said playfully, his love for the petite brunette obvious as the noon-day sun.

"A Warrior queen?" Fenris spoke, both eyebrows raised now.

"Yes, Elf. This Warrior Queen just happens to be The Hero of Ferelden, the one who killed an archdemon and stopped a blight before it had even really begun." Varric spoke, his brown eyes full of the mischief of the story brewing in his mind.

"Impressive. Surely almost as impressive as killing the Arishok in single combat." Fenris glanced towards Hawke with a Fenris brand smirk.

Elissa laughed. So did Hawke.

"Pleasantries aside, we did come here for a reason. We were hoping we could talk. Would've been better timing before being emasculated by Meredith, but I'm not picky." Alistair said good naturedly, his wife giggling next to him.

"Yes love, that would probably have been better." Elissa winked at him.

"Well, things are looking up. Its not often I get called on by foreign leaders." Hawke grinned.

"We know you came here from Lothering. A Ferelden refugee that did well for herself, against all odds." Alistair smiled. "I have to admit, we were hoping your influence in Kirkwall might be of use. Things.. haven't been going well with Orlais. With out a Vicount here, however, there's only the Knight-Commander to deal with."

"Yes well I see you've made quite the impression on our dear, sweet Knight-Commander. What were you talking about, anyways? An argument about mages?"

"Yes, well.. apparently my husband and I don't feel the same way about mages as the Chantry does." Elissa spoke, her tone light even as the weight of her words rested heavy.

"Yes. We're in disagreement. That means they get nasty. They're like that." Alistair smirked, nodding at his wife's words.

"Sounds like the Circle is better off in Ferelden, then?"

Alistair chuckled, "You'd think so, wouldn't you."

"Sadly, we aren't permitted control over the circle." Elissa sighed.

"We can only deal with mages outside the circle."

"... of which there aren't many."

Hawke chuckled, listening to the pair of them finishing each others sentences. She wondered silently if she and Anders would ever get to that point in their relationship. With a smirk, she responded. "Aren't they in your kingdom? Why not just kick the templars out?"

"Ha! Easier said then done." Alistair said, his face full of laughter.

"Doesn't mean you shouldn't try." Anders piped in.

"Anders, you know I would.. " Elissa's blue eyes were squarely on Anders, her pretty face anguished for her friend. The effect was genuine, but for some reason it had every hair on the back of Hawke's neck bristling with jealousy.

Alistair was still talking, though, and Hawke did her best to pay attention to the rather charming man. "We'll see what comes of it. Ferelden had a Blight to contend with, remember? We're not exactly at our strongest."

"Speaking of the Blight, A lot of our people came here to Kirkwall."

"We know.." Elissa's voice was strained, as if the idea of Fereldens being stranded here phyisically pained her. "We wish we could have helped them.. "

"The Blight devastated the kingdom, and afterwards...well it hasn't exactly been peaceful. They're welcomed back, of course, as are you..." Alistair said with a sad smile

"..but after so many years away, would you even still consider it home?" Elissa asked, her head tilted in curiosity.

Hawke smiled at the pretty Queen. After a moment, she spoke, "Ferelden will always be my home."

"Well then, we hope to see you come back, some day." Elissa said.

"We could use someone like you, Champion. Between you and my Wife, all our troubles would simply evaporate." He glanced down at Elissa, who grinned madly up at the handsome king.

Hawke, and her friends, laughed at that. Hawke was hardly the caliber of hero that The Hero of Ferelden was. She'd just managed, barely, to survive when the whole world kept trying to throw her under a stampede and squish her into pieces. Hawke glanced around the room, eternally grateful for the strength she found in her friends.

"So, this business with Orlais... is there to be a war, then?"

"I hope not!" Alistair said, wide eyed and frowning.

"You're more optimistic then I am, love."

"Empress Celene is doing her best. Orlais isn't the most stable place right now."

Hawke lifted a dark eyebrow at Alistair's comment. "What's happening in Orlais?"

Alistair smirked, "Oh the usual.. Attempted assassinations, uprisings, fancy parties with stinky cheeses.."

Elissa laughed, swatting Alistair on the shoulder before attempting to answer the question more seriously then her king had, "Apparently some Orlesians think it would be grand to get their lost province back. But.. we won't let them swoop down upon us, will we love?"

"That's right," Alistair's face spread in a wide grin, as if suddenly privy to an old, inside joke, " Swooping, is bad."

Hawke raised an eyebrow as the king and queen of Ferelden giggled at they're little inside joke for a moment. She decided it best not to ask. Instead, she grabbed ahold of the spark of an idea brewing in her mind.

"You know, there have been several calls for a new Vicount here, and most of them have had my name on it. Mind you I'm not entirely sure that being Vicount would be good for me.. health or sanity wise, but.. with your help there could be a Vicount."

Elissa and Alistair looked at one another for a moment, telegraphing between one another. Hawke waited patiently.

"It's tempting.. " Elissa started.

"But.. with out templar backing, our support really wouldn't mean much." Alistair finished. "I suppose it doesn't matter, we were hoping to have your help before Meredith got wind of our arrival. That's done now."

"What you can do, is protect Kirkwall."

"It's going to take someone like you to keep it from falling apart."

"Protect Kirkwall from, what, exactly?" Hawke questioned, curious to know their answer.

Alistair smirked, "You ask me, the biggest threat to this city just walked out the door. But, maybe that's the Ex-templar in me talking."

"Hmm, I'm no templar and I get that same vibe, love. In any case, we really should retire to a friends home and discuss what the sod happened to him and why he's here in kirkwall and not in Amaranthine with Nathaniel Howe.. "

Anders shifted his weight from one foot to another, looking down at his black boots.

"Well my home is always open to friends. Its just south of the Vicount's Keep, should you like to meet us there in an hour or so. I'll have dinner made, maybe something Ferelden, and cheesey?" Hawke winked towards King Alistar.

"Ooh, I do like cheese."