Disclaimer: I do not own Children of the Lamp or Prince of Tennis.
Echizen Ryoma was very annoyed because he couldn't get to sleep. He couldn't get to sleep because of a toothache, of all things, yes, a toothache. He always brushed his teeth before going to bed and usually avoided sweet things so he saw no reason why he of all people should get a toothache, but it happened. So here he was lying in bed waiting for it to be morning, knowing that he won't have enough sleep and during practice his sempais will tease and make fun for being tired.
And he was right. "An Echizen too tired to play tennis; I never thought I'd see the day." Momo laughed.
"It's funny, nya, Ochibi never gets too tired to play tennis!" Ryoma swore if Kikumaru didn't get his hands off him in 10 seconds he'll pound them into the ground. Kikumaru must have felt his thoughts because he let go of him and promptly bowed in apology. Ryoma wanted to say 'mada mada dane' but his mouth hurt. So he just kept quiet.
"There was a 0.003 chance of this happening," stated Inui and pulled out a revolting looking puce colored drink from his water bottle, "Would you like to try Energy Revitalizing Inui Juice Deluxe?" he asked with a evil looking smirk.
"No-no thanks, Inui sempai," Ryoma managed to choke out through the pain. It was simple, all he had to do was go up to Ryuzaki sensei, tell her that he was feeling too tired to play tennis, get permission to stand everybody up, and flee to the safety of the library where silence is encouraged. Then go home and arrange a dentist's appointment. Simple, right?
"Sorry, Ryoma, but I can't let you leave," apologized Ryuzaki sensei. She sounded more annoyed than sincere, "You shouldn't let tiredness stop you from doing something you love. This really isn't like you at all. Maybe a little time out on the court will cheer you up, eh?"
Stupid, didn't that old hag get that today, just maybe, wasn't his day. Couldn't she see that for once he would rather be doing something else than tennis? Like playing with Karupin, taking a bath, going to the library, having a smoke… Wait! Where did that come from? Forget it, however crazy and un-Echizen like it was he could not go to practice today. And he wouldn't, the only difference was that he was considerate enough to think of getting couch's permission to leave. So much for manners. Every thing was so mada mada today.
"Alright, then, I'll just leave. Bye." Ryoma turned to leave before Ryuzaki grabbed his shoulder fiercely.
"What are you doing, Ryoma?"
"Isn't it obvious? I'm leaving."
"You can't do that Ryoma."
"Yes I can. Now let go."
"RYOMA!"
"Yes?" Ryoma asked once again, arrogantly. He was really pushing it now.
"You will go to practice. Now. I don't care if you haven't eaten or slept in a year. You will go out there and practice!" Ryuzaki hissed venomously. Ryoma was too tired to flinch.
"The moment I leave campus you have no rights over me." He slapped away her hand and broke into a run leaving the said place.
The people right by him became colored blurs as he pushed his legs to make him go faster away from the school. He didn't even notice the faces turning towards him a few seconds too late when he was already several meters ahead.
Ryoma arrived home at a record breaking speed and opened the door as if nothing was unusual. Sounds of running water were heard from the kitchen and it looked like Oyaji was reading a magazine while playing with Karupin. Mom was nowhere to be seen.
"I'm home." Ryoma forced out as he walked steadily into the kitchen, panting. Nanako first froze and looked at him with wide eyes before she began in a quivering voice,
"So…early…" Ryoma wondered why she was looking at him like he just came out of a murder scene. He looked down at himself and felt sick. His sweat was dripping all over the floor!
"Um… I'll go take a bath know," he muttered before heading upstairs.
"Nanako! What's that stink? Did a train load of rotten eggs blow up or something?" Nanjirou yelled from the porch and even Karupin stayed away from the repulsive scent.
"No, that's just me!" Ryoma couldn't resist saying from upstairs as he grinned while imagining his dad's reaction. Nanjirou was speechless.
Ryoma turned the knob to the hottest dial and slowly lowered himself in relishing the spiking heat drilling itself into his bones when… stupid fathers always mess things up.
Nanjirou barged in screaming some intangible things about "playing hooky," "stink bomb," "so un-cute," and "didn't even bring a girl home!" Ryoma became very, very angry, especially when Nanjirou slipped on the tiles and came crashing down into the tub screaming "FIRE!!!!!!" when his skin touched the burning water and immediately recoiling, he jumped up, hung on to the showerhead over the water and flailed his legs all over the place while pushing the knob to its coldest set. This was, of course a very painful incident for Ryoma being that he was used to always having hot water baths. Ryoma responded by getting himself out of the water as quickly as possible, but while saving his body, he accidently knocked the bottle of bath salts he was using into the water. Both father and son became quiet with impending doom. Out of noise, lack of sleep, and being glomped, there is no greater hate that he has apart from cold water baths and wasting bath salts (dentists are in there too, but we'll get to that later.)
There was no sound heard apart from the sound of cold water hitting boiling hot water and creating steam until Nanjirou had the sense to turn the water off in hopes that Ryoma's anger would evaporate along with the steam. It was all in vain because a bottle of Ryoma's favorite bath salts had been wasted and that was up there as Capitol Offence Number 2 up there with hurting Karupin which could never be forgiven without inflicting appropriate punishment.
Nanjirou seemed aware of this too when he bolted out of bathroom screaming bloody murder. Ryoma followed him screaming in about the same volume following Nanjrou downstairs. From any spectator's point of view this would have a very odd situation. If one did not know of the events prior to this it would look like a forty year old man in a soaked kimono with visible burns beginning to form running barefoot while screaming at the top of his lungs was being chased by a naked equally soaked twelve year old boy who was also screaming "COME BACK HERE YOU OLD PERVERTED MOTHER FU----R!!!" Unfortunately this was precisely the time that Rinko Echizen decided to open the door and come from the grocery store and Nanako decided to come into the living room to see what all the racket was about.
I don't know what would constitute as "most-embarrassing-experience-ever" but in Ryoma's mind this came very close. Both of them froze in mid-step while Rinko calmly set the bags down and closed the door to prevent an…audience. Karupin stared at the male members of the Echizen household as if to say "I'm surrounded by idiots." Indeed she was. (AN: I'm not sure whether Karupin is male or female but for the sake of the story let's just leave it as female.)
Worst case scenarios were running through Ryoma's mind as he came up with a number of reasons to justify his innocence, and if none of them worked, he could always break down crying in a very cute way. Oh wait…his mouth hurt, even more now that he screamed his lungs out for the first time in ever. There was also something extremely wrong with this picture but Ryoma just couldn't put his finger on it. He was cold, of course he was cold, he just came out from a cold water bath, but he was also cold in a place where he shouldn't be cold in, a place that should always be covered and at least some-what warm. He looked down. Oh…shit. Ryoma finally realized the gravity of his situation. This would turn into one of those "remember when" stories that mothers told at dinner parties. Rinko Echizen really was a terrifying ruler.
"Dear…Ryoma… would you please go into the kitchen so we can talk," her voice was smooth, gentle and calm. The calm before the storm. Nanako was chuckling silently to herself.
Nanjirou and Ryoma obediently marched to the kitchen in a perfectly straight line and stood in front of their seats awaiting orders. Ryoma's blush was slowly making its way to his entire body. The fact that Nanako's eyes were almost intentionally glued to his nether regions didn't help either. Did the cold mutilate his penis!?
"Sit," the dominating voice of Rinko was heard. Both of them immediately kneeled down in submission. Rinko herself sat down too, "Nanako-chan, would you please make us a cup of tea?"
"Gladly," Nanako laughed.
"Now then… let's get back to the present situation," her eyes narrowed. Both of the guilty braced themselves for the end. Ryoma was trying to get those tears working and Nanjirou was thinking of his best seductive strategies. "Let's review both sides of the story," she started, "I saw you chasing each other in the wet nude around the house while screaming incestuous words and profanity, is that true?" the tea came and she motioned for them to take it and answer. Nanjirou, who preferred coffee, only set it in front of him to avoid more suffering than necessary. The "wet nude" part was kind of creepy. Then it hit him, most of this was all Ryoma's fault! If he could point that out to Rinko while getting on her good side, he would escape scot-free! Did anyone in this house expect him to be the responsible one anyhow?
Something along the same lines was going on in Ryoma's head too. Nanjirou was the father, he was the one that was supposed to be careful and not barge into the bathroom when his son was taking a bath. He should have more patience! If he could make Rinko see common sense and point out that he was already injured (aka toothache) and tell her that Nanjirou was the one that fell in the tub he would gain sympathy and avoid all blame! The "wet nude" part was a little harsh though.
Both of them exploded in explanations, apologies and blames at the same second before Rinko ordered, "Silence." The entire room hushed up except for Nanako's laughs because, Nanako was a reasonable and responsible person who did not offend Rinko.
She looked over at Ryoma and nodded her head signaling that he should start first because Nanjirou never had something to say that would be higher than the reason of a 5 year old. One point for Ryoma.
"You see, I wasn't feeling well so I decided that I shouldn't practice. After I came home I decided to take a bath, but Oyaji barged in, and turned the water to cold and knocking over my favorite bottle of bath salts," Ryoma made a big deal about pouting and managed to make his eyes look glossy. It's been years since he cried so hopefully mother instincts will be revived. Nanjirou looked like Ryoma just gave him the death sentence.
"He's not telling the whole side of the story, Rinko-chan! When he came in he stunk like hell! It's not my fault he was practically cooking himself in that water!" Nanjirou turned to Ryoma, "You knocked it over yourself!" Karupin, for one, was enjoying the show tremendously.
Whether they were tears of anger or humiliation, Ryoma didn't know, but he was contiously aware of the pain in his mouth and before he knew it he was wailing like a baby. Great. Now he was wet, naked, and crying. Nanako laughed more, but this rare display of emotions seemed to touch Rinko, to Nanjirou's distaste.
"What hurts, baby?" Rinko asked her son soothingly.
"My mouth!" Ryoma cried out.
"Nanjirou. Car." She ordered and he bolted to meet her demand, "But before that, both of you…"
"Yes?" asked Nanjirou.
"Would you please put on some clothes?"
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How is it? It may not look like it now, but this will go on to me a fantasy for some part. Do you think I should move this up to M? Please send some feedback!
Also, I'm taking this one more slowly than the others, so updating might take some more time. Sorry about that! I need to do more research on the subject. More of Transplant should be up soon too. Bye for now!