Bloodied, sticky, slimy pieces of torn fur, heart, blood, stomach, flesh, bone, intestines and snot flew everywhere as Firestar tore apart a fucktard of a gray cat, smirking with glee. Spitting out Graystripe's shit tasting ear, Firestar coughed some blood – not his own. It was Graystripe's own fault anyway – for fucking Sandstorm. Not that Firestar gave a shit about the ugly she-bitch anyway, but he was hungry.
Jumping out of the SUV, Firestar beat up a fighter pilot and stole his twoleg-fighter-plane-monster. With it, he flew speedily towards what was left of ThunderClan territory. He had majorly fucked up this area by releasing pedobear with an army of jelly soldiers from space armed with nerf guns.
"Firestar! How dare you." Firestar turned around, only to having a bitching she-cat slap him in the face with her gray paw that was covered in thick layers of thin. He let out a low wailing grow, like chalk finger nails on the toilet shit-box of the International Space Station.
"You will pay," hissed Firestar menacingly, his voice sounding angrier than a pig who has just been fucked by an elephant. Leaping forward, he attacked her with his claw extensions known as the Shit-Smashers. Shit-Smashers clawing furiously, Ferncloud was reduced to a zillion pieces of blood and metallic guitar dust.
"Meow." Firestar turned and saw Ferncloud's two latest kits. Ferncloud had fucked fucking Hannibal Lector to create the beasts, so they were already 50 moons old. One stepped forward, its disgusting slimy-green eye shaped like a lettuce shitting on a clone of Thunderstar.
"MRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROW!" The second kit said, its decagon-shaped ears twitching like a bone knife having an orgasm.
With a slash from his Shit-Smashers, Firestar cut a hole in the Earth so deep that the fucked-up tards fell right down into the center of the Earth, burning until they were naught but pieces of fucked up baby shit.
Firestar smiled, his extra-long fangs made out of laser beams, made out of snakes committing sin with rhinoceroses, showing. Trotting down to RiverClan territory, whistling a tune made out of puppy bones and emeralds, he saw a RiverClan fishing patrol. With glee, he whistled to his brother alligators, ordering them into the river of death.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Terrified screams broke out. Alligators attacked, snapping body limbs off every cat there. Alligators rampaged, luckily they were from America, which meant they shot stinking shit-beams of destruction from their asses.
One alligator let out a burp, sounding like imploding umbrellas. It had a bulge in it's belly that was moving. Swiping a Shit-Smasher-filled paw at the alligator's stomach, the beast fell backwards into its own pile of sweaty shit. A cat tumbled to the ground, blood-gray.
"Heavystep." Firestar glared at the tom, angry at him for being able to survive that. He glared poisoned-saucepans at the cat, killing him stone dead. Then, just to make sure the unholy cat was dead, he poked him with his weapon – The Ultimate Stick Of Fucking Destruction. Heavystep gasped and stood up. The bitch was still alive!
Firestar decided the tom had been tortured enough, and decided to give him a more peaceful death. Ripping Heavystep's tail from its socket, he stuffed it down the tom's throat. Sounding like a necrophiliac sparrow, Heavystep gave a few gasps then died.
"Time to go to the RiverClan camp, and fuck that up too." Staring at the alligators which were now giant toothpicks with bananas for eyes, Firestar laughed. It was time to use his true weapon, even more powerful than The Ultimate Stick Of Fucking Destruction!