Title: So Over
Author: Chimera
Summary: A surprise in store for Cordelia and shockwaves for her Cordettes.
Timeline: WWE – uh…it doesn't really come up, but let's just say AU, strictly for the reason that I had pictures of the boyz at different times running through my head. Matt – circa the New Brood. Jeff – circa Wrestlemania X-8. Shannon – current. Buffy…doesn't really apply either, but before Mr. Chase gets done for tax fraud or whatever.
"I don't think I've ever seen you around here before."
Harmony preened as dark eyes lifted to watch her through equally dark lashes.
"Because ya haven't," the guy replied in a thick accent. She fluttered her eyelashes expertly, not noticing his roll of the eyes.
"I'm Harmony," she introduced herself, holding out her hand like she expected it to be kissed. He instead grabbed it in a quick handshake. Her expression slipped for just a moment before the fake smile was plastered on once again.
As the nerds walked past her expression crunched in disgust and the man noticed. "Who're they?"
"The dweeb faction," she sneered.
He raised an eyebrow. "You don't like them," he stated.
"Well duh! Who would?"
Her next remark died on her lips as the guy turned tail and hurried after the group.
"Uh, 'scuze me, but could I possibly walk with you until the wicked bitch of the west leaves me alone?" a male voice asked.
Xander turned and grinned, throwing his arm around the guy's shoulder. "Anyone who dislikes Harmony on sight is a friend of ours on sight." He indicated himself and the redhead next to him. "I'm Xander and she be Willow."
Willow gave a slight wave. "Hi."
"And who might you be, dark and comely stranger?" Xander questioned.
The dude blinked. "That could be the first time someone's said that about me. To my face at least."
Xander hesitated, slowly removing his arm from around his shoulders. The brunette grinned at the expression on his face. "But aside from that, the name's Matt."
"So do you go to Sunnydale?" Willow asked, hugging her books to her chest.
"Naw. I'm a good ole' Carolina boy. Just here visiting."
"Really?" Xander piped in. "Well, that's something we have in common. Not the visiting, mind you, but the whole Carolina thing is mine…"
"Xander, you've never been to North or South Carolina in your life," Willow said gently.
"I inherited it, though. On my mother's side one of her aunts went to Raleigh once."
The redhead gave Matt a look. "Xander's usually like this. It's best to ignore him until he snaps."
Matt smiled back at her as they reached the outside of the building, heading out into the front gardens. "As much as I would like to see that, I need to get going and find…" His voice trailed off. "Okay, already found."
"That was quick. Who were you looking for?" Willow asked.
Matt glanced at her, she for the first time noticing his dark, dark eyes and rather pale complexion…and it was a good thing it was daylight. "Just my friend and my brother."
"Who are…?"
The brunette indicated over to the parking spaces where there were rather many people scattered. Before Willow could get a confirmation of any of them, Xander whistled in what sounded like amazement. "Is that guy suicidal or just stupid?" he asked no one in particular.
The guy in question had just jumped onto on of the cars in the lot. It wasn't that specifically which had drawn the whistle, but just which car had been chosen for the jump.
A car marked conspicuously with the numberplate 'QUEEN C'.
"So I said to him, like oh my god, could you _be_ any more lame? Then he was just like, uh, no," Cordelia ranted. The crowd around her nodded, seemingly like an ocean of bobbing heads. "And then he had the nerve to…" Her voice drifted and she stopped. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped.
"There is a guy on my car," she said flatly.
"THERE IS A GUY ON MY CAR!"
She marched over to the daredevil…and the considerable swarm congregating…as well as she could considering she was wearing a leather minidress.
Shannon giggled maniacally as he lightly sprang from one side of the roof to another. "Come o'en Jeff!" he called, his grin nearly as wide as their friend Adam Copeland's. "Y' c'n see e'erything up 'ere!"
Jeff just blinked up at his friend, being Shannon's friend too long to be amazed or even embarrassed over his friend's antics. "And they call me the stupid floozy," he muttered. "Shannon, get off the car."
The blonde did nothing but poke his tongue out before sitting on the roof. "No."
Jeff shrugged, his expression unconcerned as he took in the pretty cool looking building most of the classes were held in. "I tried."
"Not well," Shannon sniggered, lightly tapping out a beat with his foot.
They both acted oblivious of the mob forming around the perimeter of the parking lot. Until…
Cordelia stopped only a few feet from her daddy-bought vehicle. "I demand you get the heck off my car!" she shrilled.
"Fireworks," Xander muttered.
"Bright ones," Willow agreed.
Matt grinned. "Little ones, though," he countered. "Not that good if they're small."
Both male and female sent him a confused glance. He simply gave an enigmatic smile before half-walking, half-running to the scene of the crime.
Jeff rolled his eyes as he heard the voice ring out. "Told ya y'd get in trouble, Shan," he muttered. With a brief shrug, he himself vaulted onto the hood of the car, making a slight 'plunk' noise but otherwise causing no damage. He stepped onto the roof, giving the smaller blonde a hand up. "Y' need to commit the perfect crime…"
"Yanno, yanno, don't stick around." Shannon pouted at the older man, but then smiled. "But the jailbait bit…"
"Grrrr," Jeff play-growled.
Cordelia screeched and stamped her foot. "Get off my car!"
Jeff blinked at her like he'd just seen her. "Sorry, dudette." He jumped off the roof and landed almost daintily in front of her. He smiled, looking her up and down. "Damn, girl. You one fine-lookin' princess."
Cordelia's mouth dropped open in shock, as did the mass of clones behind her. "I…I…" she stuttered. For the third time ever, Cordelia Chase was speechless.
Shannon smiled down on them both, still perched on the roof. He turned suddenly at a yell, and waved energetically at someone before turning back to the confrontation.
Unseen, Harmony slipped into the crowd of Cordettes. "What's going on?" she questioned one of the girls nearby.
Suddenly a brunette slid across the hood and nearly collided with Jeff. "Sorry bro," he grinned. He turned his eyes to Cordelia. "Hey, Cordy."
Cordelia's eyes widened, and she took another look at all three men. Shannon, nearly bouncing on the car, his blonde mane shining in the sun and black shirt and pants hugging to his slim body. The brunette, (let's just call him Matt) with a smirk and dark purple velvet shirt with black pants. And finally Jeff, the weirdest of the three, with green and purple hair in a high ponytail and a lock of hair carefully draped across his eyes, wearing a cut up white wifebeater showing off his navel piercing and white pants with black pockets. He grinned at her as she finished her inspection, her eyes coming up from his chunky black boots. "'Member us?"
Her face slowly broke into a smile, not one of her famed smirks nor her 'man-Slayage', but a normal smile that even Xander and Willow had to admit was pretty damn nice-looking. She sent a look back to Shannon, and as he realised the recognition in her eyes he squealed. "Cordy!"
He bounced off the roof and enveloped the girl in a hug. She enthusiastically hugged him back, ignorant of the murmurs and snickers coming from behind her. "Shanny-Shan-Shan-Shan!" she grinned back, giving him an extra squeeze.
Matt and Jeff exchanged glances as they both held on a little longer than they needed to. Matt coughed behind his hand, and when that didn't work he started tapping his foot.
They finally broke apart and Matt stepped forward as Shannon gave him a half-glare. "Jealous much?"
Matt play-growled back. "Not of you."
Cordelia snorted from her place wrapped in Matt's arms. "Just kiss already," she muttered.
Jeff took over the hug, picking her up easily and spinning her around. "Already done, my lady love," he said dramatically.
As she was gracefully dropped onto the ground, her jaw dropped a little less gracefully. She shot a look at the two men who were both whistling innocently, Shannon, rocking on his heels and Matt scuffing his feet. "You two?"
Matt swallowed, feeling instinctively that whatever Cordelia said next would either make him ecstatic or doom him to a miserable hell. "Yeah."
Cordelia blinked, intuition telling her that three friendships rested on her next sentence.
"Why the hell was I not informed?!" she questioned angrily, slapping both lightly on the arm. "When I think of all the times I could have been sitting and watching you make out…we really must schedule a time for that."
A grin crept up ever-so-slowly on Shannon's face, until it was nearly too big to stay on. "You're alright with it?"
The brunette woman shrugged. "Love whoever the hell you love."
Matt swooped down on her again, peppering her hair with kisses as he used all his strength to seemingly crush her in a hug. "Thank you thank you thank you," he whispered into her hair.
Cordelia simply coughed a little, making Matt release her quickly. "Thanks. I need air to live, unlike some people," she deadpanned.
"You're gay?" a shrill voice cried.
Harmony elbowed her way through the crowd to stand beside Cordelia and glaring at Matt, as an afterthought glaring at Shannon and Jeff as well. "You're a faggot?"
Matt closed his eyes and exhaled hard. "Yes, I am gay, no, I am not a pile of sticks."
The ditzy blonde just stared.
The brunette rolled his eyes. "Get a dictionary."
Xander and Willow glanced at each other. At Xander's inquiring look the redhead nodded. "Faggot does really mean a pile of sticks. Usually tied together."
Xander glanced back at his ex girlfriend. And the men with her. "Well, at least he didn't take my flirting seriously."
Willow nodded sagely. Then her eyes snapped back to her friend.
"You were flirting?"
"That's disgusting!" Harmony exclaimed. She turned her eyes to Cordelia, staring a hole right through the girl. "Right, Cordelia?"
Mentally Cordelia rolled her eyes. Obviously Harm hadn't heard her when she said she was okay with it. Her eyes skated over her 'Cordettes'. Each and every one of them were nodding their heads in agreement with what Harmony had said. Cordelia turned her gaze back to 'her boyz'. All three were biting their lips, fidgeting, etc. She suddenly realized that they thought she'd give up her stand on the matter; that she was fine with it in private but wouldn't acknowledge it in public.
"Screw you guys," she snarled. She linked her arms up with Shannon and Matt, leading them back towards the school. "So is he a good kisser?" she asked, the question floating back over her shoulder to the group and infuriating Harmony.
Jeff elaborately bowed to Harmony, but never let his scornful green gaze leave her eyes. He widened them fractionally, then grinned and flippantly gave her a demonstration of a crotch chop, à la DX.
He turned and walked away. Harmony had nothing to say.
Except…
"Crotch chops are sooooooo over."