This story had been in my mind for days so I knew that I had to write it down. Now, I'm at peace again. Hope you guys enjoy this story :)
Santana was 13 when she had her first crush.
Of all the people that could have been her first crush, it had to be the sweet, loveable Brittany. The perky, always-saying-hi-to-random-people Brittany.
Santana was confused because before that, she didn't really understand the concept of being gay. She wasn't even sure if it existed before. So she was dealing with these unanswered questions in her mind and these newly emerging feelings that comes with liking someone. Not just someone but a girl.
Santana hated when Brittany smiled at her because she didn't like how it made her heart pounded.
She hated the fact that Brittany always popped in her mind whenever she listened to love songs.
Most of all, she hated Brittany for making it easy to like her.
Santana tried really hard to ignore her feelings but Brittany was making it more difficult for her to do so. How can she not like the blonde seeing as Brittany was kind enough to share her lunch with Santana when she left hers that one time? Or during that school trip where Brittany offered her a seat beside her when no one in the bus would. How about that time when Santana was too sick to go to school and Brittany was willing enough to bring her homework to her house? They were not even friends.
Santana convinced herself that maybe she only wanted to befriend her. But then again, people don't usually want to kiss their friends on the lips.
Santana was 15 when she threw her first slushie at Brittany.
Santana fucking hated her for having such a strong hold on her even though two years have passed by.
She hated that every time she kissed someone, she imagined that it was Brittany who had been kissing her.
The brunette had a theory that the only way for her to truly move on was by removing any chances or hope to be with Brittany. She then proceeded to treat the blonde badly. This way, Brittany would hate her and if she hated her, then the chance of being with Brittany would be gone and Santana didn't have to cling to this tiny hope buried inside of her, that Brittany might actually like her.
Santana hated the blonde for not showing any resentment towards her even after the brunette treated her terribly.
Every insult that had been thrown at Brittany was viciously spat out by Santana. She thought that it was much easier than pouring her feelings out.
Every glare that had been directed at Brittany was meant to scare her away from Santana. She thought that it was better than letting her vulnerability be visible through her eyes.
No one really understood why Santana disliked Brittany so much. The blonde was the sweetest person ever known in The William McKinley High School. She may not be a cheerleader or popular like Santana but she was definitely likeable. If only people knew that behind those hatred lays the truth that Santana was only terrified. Terrified that she might be different from other people when the only thing she wanted was to fit in.
Santana was 17 when she experienced her first heartbreak.
She fucking hated Brittany for having a girlfriend. Not when Santana was finally comfortable with her sexuality.
Santana came out to her family first. No crying. No shouting. Just a lot of hugging.
Then, she came out to her friends. No hugging. No smiling. Just a lot of gasping. Guess they weren't really her friends.
However, she could rely on the Cheerios to support her. Contrary to the popular belief that cheerleaders are snobby, patronizing people, most of the people in the Cheerios were friendly. They were supportive of each other and it's hard not to be when your coach is the devil. The only way for them to survive the seven circles of hell with Coach Sue was to depend and protect each other.
One of the girls in the Cheerios was Quinn Fabray. She was one of the most popular girls in school. Her nickname was Bitch Goddess and deservingly so. She may looked sweet and innocent but her attitude showed the opposite. Despite her bitchy attitude, people found it easy to be mesmerized by her beauty. Brittany was no exception. However, Brittany didn't call her the Bitch Goddess. She called Quinn her girlfriend.
Knowing Brittany had a girlfriend was already hurtful enough but the fact that Quinn was her girlfriend was like rubbing chillis, not salt but chillis into her wound.
It baffled Santana as to how the sweetest person in the school could date one of the most bitchiest person in the school. If that's the case then she could have easily be her girlfriend. It should have been her. "I'm bitchy too" Santana thought to herself. Though she only blamed herself. She had been nothing but mean to Brittany for the past few years.
So every time she saw Brittany and Quinn holding hands or giving each other kisses, Santana could do nothing but rolled her eyes. But with every kisses that she witnessed, her heart broke pieces by pieces until all that is left are dusts of hopelessness.
Santana was 20 when she had her first kiss with Brittany.
Before they kissed, Santana stared into Brittany's eyes, hoping that her own eyes would convey the lust and love that she felt at that moment.
She fucking loved the way Brittany's blue eyes twinkled under the shine of the moonlight.
She loved how Brittany's lips glistened after licking her lips nervously.
By now, Santana was familiar with the pounding of her heart. It only happens with Brittany. Somehow, this felt different. Her heart pounded with a different feeling, a feeling of anticipation.
When their lips touched, Santana was overwhelmed to the point that she almost cried. She tried to express 7 years of love that she felt for Brittany with every soft movement of their lips and with every gentle touch of her hands.
Most of all, she loved how head over heels in love she was with Brittany.
You wanna know what happened? I'll tell you.
Author's Note: Oh boy, what am I doing? I will try my best to juggle my time between this story and my other story so it might take me longer to update than I would have liked to.