This story is based on my one shot 'A Little Flirting Goes a Long Way'. Real life has gotten in the way of starting this. Plus I am so addicted to reading fan fics that it is almost like a drug to me. LOL! And if you haven't heard of the Black Dagger Brotherhood, you should really check into it.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Myers owns Twilight and all of the characters. I am just playing around. I do however own an almost unhealthy obsession with Rob Pattinson. He inspires me.
Chapter 1: Choices
EPOV
I can't believe how one decision could change a person's whole life. One choice that you make will ultimately change your entire future. Whether you are aware at that exact moment when you make the decision is the problem.
Once you make that choice and your life sets down the path you have chosen, everything that happens from that point on is because of your choice. Whether it goes bad or good is something that you don't know will happen until it is too late.
And if you make the choice, and everything goes to hell, but one good thing comes out of it, does it mean that you should have chosen different to begin with. Would you really go back and change it all and lose the one good thing left in your life.
This is why I am so confused. If had not chosen to do what I did, I would never have one of the most precious things in my life now. And again if I had not gone through with my choice, then I would not be hurting the way I am. And I would not be sitting in this courtroom right now having yet another decision change everything in my life again.
"Mr. Cullen … Mr. Cullen"
Sitting here just proves that your decisions come back to bite you. I didn't want to be here, but this time I didn't have a choice. This time my choice was made for me and I didn't like it, but I have to sit here and take it.
"Edward"
I felt a nudge to my side shaking me from my thoughts.
"Edward, the judge is talking to you." My lawyer spoke quietly nudging me again. "You have to stand up."
Snapping out of my revelry shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I jumped to my feet. "I am sorry your honor."
The judge narrowed his eyes at me for a moment and then looked back and forth between myself and my lawyer. "Mr. Cullen are you in agreement with the terms of your divorce."
"Yes, your honor. I am." I answered quietly nodding my head.
"And Mr. Cullen do you accept full custody of your daughter." The judge questioned me.
"Yes, your honor. I do."
Looking down the judge started shuffling through some papers then looked up and over to my future ex wife. Tanya. "Mrs. Cullen."
"Yes, your honor." I chanced a glance at her. She stood straight and smiled showing no remorse for what she was about to do.
"It is my understanding that you do not want anything from the divorce. No alimony or any type of settlement. The only thing that you have requested was…" the judge looked down shuffling through the papers once more before picking up one adjusting his glasses so that he could read it more closely, "a piece of property in North Carolina. Is this correct?"
"Yes, your honor." Tanya answered smoothly with no regret in her tone.
The judge furrowed his brow and stared intensely at my future ex wife for a moment before he spoke again.
"Also it is my understanding that you are not asking for any type of visitation with your daughter. In fact you are turning custody over completely to Mr. Cullen. Do you understand that you are relinquishing all rights of your daughter to Mr. Cullen?"
"Yes, your honor. I do." Tanya smiled and nodded to the judge. Her back was straight, shoulders held back and her head held high as if she was not about to give up one of life's most precious gifts. How could she just stand there like this was not breaking her heart?
The judge glared at her for a moment, probably thinking the same thing that I have been thinking for the past month. Hell who am I kidding? It is the same thing I have been thinking for the past five years. Since the day our child was born. How could anyone give up on their child?
The judge shook his head and looked back down at the papers in front of him. He looked back up at me then at my soon to be ex wife.
"In the case of Cullen versus Cullen, I hereby grant the divorce. In the matter of your daughter, Claire Marie Cullen, I hereby grant full custody to Mr. Edward Cullen." The judge lifted his gavel slamming it down making me flinch in the process, "this case is closed. Court adjourned."
And with that decision, my life has changed yet again.
After Tanya shook hands with her lawyer she looked at me giving me a half smile and walked out. She didn't seem to be affected at all which really didn't surprise me though.
My lawyer said a few words to me which I didn't hear or respond to. He clapped his hand on my shoulder giving it a slight squeeze to show that he understood and left without another word. He knew how this was affecting me. How this was going to affect my daughter.
I sat in the courtroom until everyone had left. I can't believe eight years of my life had been wasted. Not a complete waste though, not by any means. If I had never made the decision to be with Tanya, I would never have my beautiful five year old daughter.
Claire.
The one good thing that my decision has brought me is my sweet innocent five year old daughter. If I had never chosen to be with Tanya, I would never have had Claire. So even though everything else has been screwed up in my life because of my choice to be with Tanya, I can't regret that it gave me Claire.
When you are a child, your parents tell you that your choices are what make a person. If you choose wisely, then good things will happen. If you choose poorly, then bad things happen. It is a philosophy handed down from generation to generation, but no one tells you how to know how to make a good choice.
I mean they teach you from right and wrong. They teach you how to be a good person. They teach you how to be kind to others. But I don't remember every being told how to know that your decision is a good one or a bad one. In the grand scheme of things, how would you ever know for sure until the choice is made?
When I was first introduced to Tanya, a mutual friend had set us up on a blind date and we had dinner together. I was in my first year of law school and working at my father's law firm. Tanya had just finished college with a business degree working for a corporation specializing in real estate development.
Our conversation flowed easily and I enjoyed being with her. Tanya was easy to like. She was straightforward and didn't bullshit. She was smart and sassy, unlike some of the other girls I had dated in the past that were as dumb as rocks.
We continued to date and see each other when our schedule allowed it. Weekends were the only time that we really had time to see each other. Since I was so busy and rarely had time for anything through the week, I started looking forward to seeing Tanya. It was nice to know that there was someone waiting for me.
After about six months we decided to move in together. There was nothing personal about the gesture; it just seemed like the next step. The decision was mutual as we discussed how it was foolish to have two apartments and wasting money when we could just consolidate and be together. We talked about it saying that it felt like a good thing to do financially. It was convenient for both of us considering our work hours. Looking back the whole arrangement sounded much like a business decision.
There was no big spark or real chemistry between us, and I should have let that been my first sign. But I had resigned myself to believing that there was no true happily ever after in my future. This was real life, not a fairy tale.
Tanya and I got along well. We both enjoyed baseball and on the weekends we would either go to a game or watch one on television. We both enjoyed reading and laying around in bed together.
Then there was the sex. When I was in high school and college, I focused on studying, not being a man whore. I had not had many partners in my life. So when Tanya and I started having sex, I experienced more with her than I had with anyone else because I had been with her longer than any other woman. The sex was good and I believed at the time that it couldn't get any better than that.
Before I graduated from law school, I decided since I enjoyed Tanya's company and we got along so well, I would ask her to marry me. There was no big romance or gushy feelings; again it just felt like the right step. When I asked her, I never even thought about getting down on one knee and doing something romantic. We were at dinner one night and I popped the question and she accepted. Again it was like a business arrangement and didn't feel personal at all. This should have been my second sign.
My parents liked Tanya, but my mother thought I was just settling. She wanted me to try and find someone that would make me feel the way she felt about my father. We had a few arguments about it, but I held firm that this was what I wanted. I told my mother I was not going to start over now. I had invested so much in the relationship and even though there were no fireworks and grand gestures, it was right for me. Or so I thought.
Just a few weeks before the wedding was to take place, one of these arguments developed while I was sitting at my parent's house having breakfast with my mother. She had asked me to come by so we could talk, claiming that we had not spent much time together lately. Being the good son that I am, I granted my mother's request.
My mother stood against the kitchen counter sipping coffee looking at me over the rim. I knew she wanted to say something by the look in her eyes, so I finally gave her the opening she wanted.
"Spit it out Mom. I know you have something on your mind, so let's hear it." I barked out causing her to narrow her eyes at me before she set her cup down and grimaced.
"Edward. You know how much I love you. Your father and I would do anything for you. But…"
She trailed off when I interrupted her. "But, what Mom?"
My mother took a deep breath and exhaled noisily before she started again. "But, I don't think I can sit by and let you marry Tanya. She is not right for you Edward. I don't think you two want the same things out of life. Tanya is a dedicated business woman. She is not suited to be a wife and definitely not mother material. Sure she may like some of the things you like, and that is fine, but that does not mean she will make a good partner for you. Tanya is more interested in making money than she is in making a life with you Edward. You both are doing this out of convenience, not love."
Incredulously I stared at my mother lost for words. Somehow I knew what she was saying was right, but I was not going to let that change my mind. I had made a choice and I was going follow it through. Another lesson I learned was, once you make a decision, stick by it.
"We have had this discussion before and I am not going to change my mind. Tanya and I can make this work; we have for a while now. I work long hours at my job and so does she. We both enjoy ourselves when we are together and that is what matters."
"Edward, I have never heard you say that she is the one. Never have you told me that. You may love her, but you are not in love with her. What happens when you have kids together, do you think that her lack of compassion will work then. Do you honestly think she will change once that happens? I don't think so. Just call it mother's intuition, but she is not the one for you Edward." My mother placed her arm around my shoulder and squeezed in a loving gesture then kissed the top of my head. "I don't want you to waste your life on someone who will not grow to want the same things you do Edward. I want you to be happy, but not at this price."
"Mom, I know you mean well." I sighed knowing that my mother was only looking out for me. "I think that Tanya and I will work through whatever happens. We may not have the romance of the century, but I can be happy with her. You and Dad have something that only comes along once in a lifetime. I don't think that it is going to happen to me and I have accepted that. I am not going to waste my life trying to find it."
My mother wrapped her arms around me tightly rubbing soothing circles on my back. "I don't want to fight with you Edward. I love you. I just want you to be happy. If this is your choice, I will support you however I can. I am here for you, just remember that."
My mother had made some excellent points. I often wondered why she was not a lawyer, because she could argue a good case. Knowing she just wanted the best for me, I could not be mad at her for trying to do what she thought was right. But no matter what she said, this was my life and I wanted to move on.
Tanya and I married right after I graduated law school. We flew to Jamaica and got married on the beach. The vows that we exchanged were the standard ones everyone used. There was nothing romantic about the ceremony other than the location and the sunset. Even our kiss was just a kiss, not one of those kisses that you hear about that the guests have to clear their throat to interrupt before a full make-out session started.
Only our parents and a few friends were there. Neither of us wanted a big wedding. Neither of us I guess wanted to share something with a lot of people maybe because there was nothing to share. Looking back I should have realized that Tanya wasn't anymore into this marriage than I was.
A woman usually wants a big wedding. Thinking back, it really surprises me that Tanya didn't chose to have a more formal affair. As I later found out, she was extravagant to say the least. Always wanting the best of everything, our wedding was a small blip in the grand scheme of things. I had seen redneck weddings that were nicer and more intimate than ours.
During our entire honeymoon, nothing seemed anymore special than it had all the times before. There were no deep feelings in me that were stirred or shaken. There was nothing that made me feel like Tanya was truly mine. Nothing in Tanya's actions seemed changed either.
On the last night of our honeymoon, Tanya and I were laying in a hammock listening to the sounds of the ocean. My arms were wrapped around her and she had her head against my chest. This felt right to me and I hoped that maybe this was the beginning of something deeper to our relationship.
Tanya was gently rubbing her fingers up and down my bare chest. I could feel her mouth open and close a couple times before she finally spoke. "Edward. This has been a great honeymoon. I have had loads of fun and as always the sex was wonderful and I really hate to see it end, but we have to get back to the real world. We both have jobs to do."
How many men get to hear that their new wife had "loads of fun" on their honeymoon? I couldn't argue much though; there was nothing spectacular about it. Nothing stood out about our honeymoon, other than the trek up Dunn's River Falls and snorkeling. Even the sex was just as it always was, no fireworks going off or white dots behind my eyes.
"Yea, it's back to the real world. Like you said, it has been fun." I hoped that she didn't hear the bitterness coming through my words.
"Well Edward, before we go back, I think there is something that we should discuss. Maybe we should have discussed this before we were married, but the subject never really came up." She paused for a moment then rose up to look me in the eyes. "We never talked about children. I don't know how you feel, but I am not ready to have a child. My job is too important to me. One day maybe we can talk about having kids, but right now, I just want to enjoy my job and us of course." She patted my chest in an almost friendly gesture and then gave me a peck on the check. "I'm going in to take a shower. See you inside." With that she walked off to our bungalow and went inside.
Sitting there dumbfounded, I wasn't sure that we really ever discussed anything. More like she informed me of how things were going to happen. No, we had never talked about children, and sure I wasn't ready to have one nine months from now, but she made it out like I didn't have a choice in the matter. She said we would talk about it again, but she had made her choice and not given me one chance to talk about it.
Marriage was supposed to be about compromises. There were two people involved and therefore each had an equal say in how everything worked and I knew that there was no great love between us, but I believed that we would be equal partners in this.
How could I have been so stupid? I should have thought this through more thoroughly. Believing that one day our marriage would grow into something more was a foolish thought. But I was determined I was going to make this work, no matter what it took. Hopefully one day Tanya would change her mind about children, until then I would try my best to make this marriage work, even if I would be doing it alone.
Tanya may have not been into our marriage, but she was into money. She had no trouble spending mine or hers for that matter. When we were looking for our first home together after we were married, she looked at nothing but the best in the best neighborhoods. The home was all about show and when she decorated the inside, it looked like something out of a magazine.
The house was ostentatious, which I learned that everything she liked seemed to fall in that category. More rooms than we needed, the house was enormous with four bedrooms and three baths, with a master bedroom and bathroom that took up more room than some apartments. Over five thousand square feet of a home for nothing but the two of us was definitely for show.
I didn't argue with her. I just wanted her to be happy and I didn't want to worry about trivial things as long as we were getting along. Going along with everything she wanted just to keep her happy. What color the couch was or what the bedroom set looked like was not something that I was going to lose sleep over. Tanya was in heaven because she had free reign to do what she wanted.
Skimping on nothing, even her wardrobe was all designer clothes, with coordinating shoes and jewelry. Taking a bonus that she earned at work, she bought herself a Jaguar XK convertible which she considered her pride and joy. Material objects were more important to her than I had realized. All of this really didn't matter to me just as long as she was content and we were getting along.
At work, she was an absolute cut throat. Suave and smooth she could close any deal. Everyone at her company knew she was the closer. Her work meant more to her than anything. She put in late nights and didn't mind traveling at all, anything to help her move up the corporate ladder, she would do. Making money and moving up was all that mattered to her.
As soon as I passed my bar exam, my father threw me right into the lions den so to speak. Within the first week, I was assigned to a client, went to court, and won my first case. My excitement was evident and my father's response was as if I rode my bicycle alone for the first time without training wheels. He continued to pass more cases my way, happy to have some spare time for once to be with my mother more. I was envious, but still just believed that not everyone could have a relationship like my parents.
Being a lawyer, my work hours were long and tedious. Working in a firm was nothing new for me. When I had turned sixteen, my father put me to work, starting at the bottom, and working my way up. My first position at his office was in the mailroom holding that position throughout high school. During college, I was allowed to do research for my father and help out some of the other lawyers when they needed the help. Having long hours and concentrating on my job were nothing new to me.
As I made a reputation for myself as a lawyer, Tanya made her way up through her company as well. She worked on different projects and closed many deals that shot her up through the company fast. We both worked long hours during the week, only spending quality time with each other on the weekend. If you could call hanging out together quality time. We were not growing any closer together, if anything we were drifting slowly apart.
I knew what a true marriage was, seeing first hand the love my mother and father shared with each other and I hoped that one day when Tanya and I had been together for a while, our relationship would be loving and strong like theirs. Spending time together only on the weekend was not going to accomplish this, but I didn't know what else to do to change it.
We traveled when we could. Sometimes Tanya would have to go away for her job, and I would fly to meet her. Those times were spent making love and cuddling, nothing different than what we did when we were at home, but it was a little special spending time away with her.
Still there was no romance or strong feelings of love. We had fun hanging out with each other. But it was more like a friend with benefits relationship than a true marriage. I knew I loved Tanya, but I was not in love with her. Not wanting to waste the time we had spent together so far, I kept hoping against hope that our love would become stronger over time.
Our marriage continued like this until something happened that changed everything. Another choice that set things in motion that could never be altered or taken back.
A/N: So here is the deal. I am setting Edward's life up and how he came to be alone with his daughter. Next chapter will be how Claire came to be. It will be a while before you hear about Bella's life which should be fairly more interesting. Then the flirting will begin and a whole lot of sexy daydreaming!
I have the whole story going around in my crazy head so bear with me. Oh and I am not a lawyer but I have had friends who have gone through similar experiences so I am basing some of the legal stuff on what they went through, so don't shot me if it does not sound real. It's just fiction people.
Please read and review!