Ranma 1/2: Netherworld Scramble!
Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR
"Waahahaha! I heard it all! I heard it all!"
Those were the words of the Grandmaster of the Anything-Goes Martial Arts School (and World Class Pervert) Happosai, as he snatched the glass ball full of water from the Spring of Drowned Twins from one Saotome Ranma, one of the strongest fighters in the city of Nerima (and semi-reluctant heir to the Anything-Goes style).
"Aghh! Get back here, ya old freak!" Ranma growled, chasing after Happosai.
"Not a chance, sonny! Happo Fire Burst!"
Happosai tossed one of his firecracker bombs at Ranma, which the pigtailed youth jumped over in the nick of time.
Sadly, Saotome Genma (Ranma's father) and Tendo Soun (father of Ranma's Fiancee, Tendo Akane) weren't so lucky. The bomb hit them at full force, knocking them out instantly.
Ranma spared a half-second glance to make sure his old man and future old man-in-Law were okay.
Too bad that half-second was all the time old lech needed.
Before Ranma could stop him, the old pervert dumped the entire contents of the Glass Ball over his head, much to the horror of the young aqua transsexual.
'Oh, no!' Ranma thought. He watched on with dread as one Happosai turned to two in an instant.
"Nyeh heh heh heh!" The two Happosai twins chuckled nastily as they leered at Ranma.
"Now there are two of us!" The first Happosai declared.
"And you know what that means, boy?" The second one asked.
"It means..."
"That you..."
"AIN'T GOT A PRAYER!"
At the exact same time, both Happosais' unleashed the full force of their battle auras, and focused them entirely on Ranma.
Ranma froze where he stood, unable to move, barely even able to breathe against the sheer amount of power coming from the Happosai twins.
The old freak's battle aura was bad enough when there was only one of him to deal with. But two of them were too much for even Ranma to handle. He sunk to his knees, mouth agape and eyes wide and blank.
"Nyeh heh heh heh! What's the matter, sonny? No witty remarks for once?" The first Happosai snickered.
"Shame. I so enjoy hearing them..." The second one said.
"Well, we'd love to talk..."
"But we got a date with the entire female population's silky little darlings!"
"So long, Ranma m'boy!" Both Happosais' said. "Twin Happo Fire Burst!"
Ranma was blown through the roof of the Spa resort, flying off to Kami knows where. Akane saw this from outside of the building.
"Ranma!" She cried, as she raced after him.
Ranma soon came to a crash in a cold brook of water, instantly changing to his girl form. The redhead (far away enough from Happosai's Battle Aura) soon came to her senses, and jumped up with a look of anger on her face.
"Grrr...Damn that old man..." She growled as she clenched her fist tightly.
"Ranma!" Akane shouted, running into the clearing. She ran toward Ranma-chan as soon as she caught sight of her. "Are you okay? What happened?!"
"We failed, that's what happened!" Ranma-chan snapped, in a bad mood at how easily Happosai had taken her out. "We were able to convince Pantyhose Taro that the water wasn't what he thought it was, but that old freak heard every word of it. He snatched the water, dumped all of it on himself, and now we've got two major pains in the butt to deal with!"
Akane gasped at that. "There are two Happosais now!? Just one of them was bad enough! How the hell are we going to deal with two?!"
"Don't worry. I've got a plan," Ranma-chan muttered, squeezing the water out of her shirt.
But before Akane could tell her fiancée to spill it, the two saw three more shadows fly over head, and land into the brook right behind Ranma-chan.
Soun and Genma (now in panda form), both came to as soon as they hit the water.
"Oh, Kami, ALL IS LOST!" Soun shouted, tears flowing out of him. "With TWO Evil Masters, there is no more hope! The entire city will be destroyed within the week!"
We're Doomed!!! Gemna-panda's sign said, Genma himself crying almost as much as his friend.
"Calm down, ya crybabies!" Ranma-chan shouted. "I've got a plan to take that old freak-down!"
Ranma-chan would have said more, but the huge hulking form of Pantyhose Taro's cursed self rose from the water, looking extremely pissed...at the redhead herself.
About five near death attacks later, Akane managed to hit Pantyhose Taro with a kettle full of hot water, changing him back to his human form, and allowing Ranma-chan to knock him out with a well placed kick.
"Okay...now that that's out of the way," Ranma-chan began, pouring the last of the hot water onto herself and changing back into a man. "I have a plan to take Happosai down."
"And how do you suppose we do that? The Master was nearly unbeatable when he was by himself! But now...with an accomplice that is like him in every single way..."
"Mainly because the accomplice IS him..." Akane grumbled.
"...Master Happosai is INVINCIBLE!" Soun went on as though his daughter hadn't spoke, complete with wireless microphone.
"You're forgetting that Happosai is only twins because of the water from the Cursed Spring of Drowned Twins. That means that, as soon as we splash him with hot water, he'll go back to normal. That's when we'll finish him off!" Ranma said, looking quite happy with his plan.
...That's it? Genma-panda's sign read.
"Yep!"
"...That's all well and good, Ranma, but how are you going to even get close enough to douse him with hot water? He'll just immobilize you with his twin battle auras again!" Akane said.
"...Hmmm. Hadn't thought that far yet," Ranma shrugged.
This resulted in face-faults for all involved.
"YOU CALL THAT A PLAN?!" Soun hissed, going into his Demon Head mode.
"Okay, okay! My plan needs a bit of tweaking, is all!" Ranma said, cringing away from Soun. "...I guess that we can call for some backup..."
"Perfect!" Soun agreed, returning to normal. "After all, there is strength in numbers! I shall send out fliers asking for the help of capable young warriors to help us vanquish that foul demon of a master once and for all!"
I'll help! Gemna-panda said.
"And I'll go gather Mousse, Ryouga, Ukyo and Shampoo. They'll help us out!" Ranma nodded.
"I'll go with you." Akane said.
"No, you better go with pops and Mr. Tendo, Akane. We're gonna be facing Happosai. In stereo. You'd only get in the way," Ranma replied.
Akane glared at Ranma. "...I see. And Uyko and Shampoo won't be in the way? Or do you just want to spend more time with them?!"
"That's not what I meant! I meant that a Muscle-bound chick like you who only relies on brute strength wouldn't stand a chance against someone like the old freak, that's all!" Ranma explained, not noticing Akane's own battle aura rising.
"...Humph. If that's how you feel..." Akane began, bringing out her mallet. "Then stop wasting time talking to me, and go get them!"
Akane wacked Ranma with the mallet, sending him flying high into the sky as Soun and Genma watched.
Will that boy ever learn?
"One day, old friend...one day."
"Ranma, you jerk!" Akane seethed, on her way back home with her dad and Genma. "Honestly! Telling me that he thinks Shampoo and Ukyo are better fighters than me!"
"Um...he didn't exactly say that, Akane..." Soun said.
"Well, I'll show him!" Akane went on, ignoring Soun. "Once we get these fliers done, I'll send them anywhere and everywhere I can! We'll be sure to get someone who's stronger than that dummy, and they'll take care of Happosai before him or his precious Ukyo and Shampoo! THEN we'll see how his pride likes it!"
...She's not listening, Tendo.
Soun didn't respond. He just sighed.
The trio made it back to the Tendo Household, and went to the Living Room. There they saw Nabiki (Akane's older sister) tallying up the money she made from her latest scheme.
Nabiki turned to regard them as they stepped (or rather, stormed in Akane's case) into the room.
"Hello daddy, sister, Mr. Saotome. Did you manage to take care of Pantyhose Taro and Happosai?" Nabiki asked, turning back to her money.
"Well, Ranma managed to defeat Pantyhose Taro on his own...but Master Happosai learned of the water from the Spring of Drowned Twins, and used it to become twins himself," Soun explained. "So now, Ranma is gathering up Ryoga, Mousse, Ukyo and Shampoo to help take down the evil master once and for all. But just in case, Saotome and I are going to make fliers asking for strong warriors to help out, then your sister will send them out."
"Interesting. Let me guess...you want me to check our finances to see how much money we can spare as a reward, correct?" Nabiki said dryly.
"But of course!" Genma (who was back to normal) said. "Going up against the master is like signing your own death warrant! Anybody who knows of him won't waste their lives without some form of reward in return. That's pretty much a given."
"Very well," Nabiki sighed. "But this might take me a bit. Considering how tough Happosai is, it'll cost quite the pretty penny to find anyone willing to take him out."
"Money is no object! Do whatever it takes to hire someone even stronger than that baka Ranma!" Akane raged.
"...Ranma and Akane got in another fight, huh." Nabiki said, a dry look on her face.
"Uh-huh," Soun sighed.
Meanwhile, Ranma had gathered all of the fighters he had mentioned before. Ukyo, Shampoo, Mousse and Ryoga were standing in front of him, faces deadly serious.
Ranma halted his pacing, turning to look at them with an equally serious face. "Do you all know what I have called you here for?"
"Considering that you kept reminding us all the way here, I think we do, Ran-chan," Ukyo said, rolling her eyes.
"Good. This meeting is to unveil my plan on how to...defeat the Happosai Twins!" Ranma said dramatically.
"That's all well and good, Saotome, but what's this got to do with the Nerima Dump?" Mousse asked...to a pile of trash. "...Did you even shower this morning??"
Shampoo smacked the near-sighted boy in the back of the head and placed his glasses back unto his eyes. "You no question Airen, Duck-Boy! If Ranma say he has way to beat master pervert, than Ranma do!" Shampoo stated heatedly. "...But Shampoo must admit she curious too."
"I swear, if this is another one of your crazy schemes, Ranma..." Ryouga growled.
"No, no it's simple. Ukyo, Shampoo and myself, in girl form, will pretend to surrender to the old freaks, while dressed in some very revealing clothing! Then, we'll lure both of them to the very spot that we're standing on, indicated by this big red 'X' I've painted," Ranma began. The others looked down towards their feet to see said red 'X'.
"Okay. So what happens once he steps on the 'X'?" Ryouga asked.
"That's when we unleash our secret weapon!" Ranma said with a wink. Then he shouted, "Bring it in, boys!"
All of a sudden, a huge garbage truck backed up towards the group of teens, much to the surprise of all (except for Ranma himself).
"Ranma-honey...where did you get this Garbage truck from?" Ukyo asked.
"And why it smell so bad?! Shampoo know that Garbage Trucks smell bad all time, but really!" The Amazon said, pinching her nose shut.
"I made sure to pack it full with all of the nastiest stuff I could find in 10 minutes! You think it's hard to be near right now? Just wait until we dump this on the old man! After getting hit by this stuff, no woman, let alone any Human Being, will come within 50 ft of the freak!" Ranma said smugly. "And since Happosai is so perverted that he needs to be able to touch girls to survive, both of them will get so weak that beating them will be child's play!"
"Hmmm. I must admit, that is a good sounding plan, Saotome," Mousse admitted. ...Though for some reason, he was looking at the truck rather than Ranma, even with his glasses on.
"Yeah...except for one thing," Ryouga said, inching away from the huge truck.
"...What is it?" Ranma said, his back to the truck.
But rather than answer him, Ryouga grabbed Ukyo, Mousse grabbed Shampoo, and they all jumped away.
...Just before the Garbage Truck dumped all of its contents onto the red 'X'...right where Ranma was standing.
"Nyeh heh heh heh heh!" The voice of Happosai chuckled from the driver's seat of the truck. "Did you really think that I wouldn't take advantage of the fact that there are now two of me? I had my twin spy on you the entire way here! Then once he found out what was going on, it was a simple matter to knock out the real driver, and turn your 'ingenious' plan against you!"
Happosai hopped out of the driver's seat, and onto the little roof of the truck. "Give it up, Ranma! Your spot as the strongest in all of Nerima has just been tarnished. For good! Nyeh heh heh heh!"
"Perhaps. But you made a big mistake coming here alone, old man!" Ukyo said, bringing her Battle Spatula forward.
"With all our powers combined, we'll be sure to take you out!" Mousse said, ready to bring out his vast amounts of weapons.
"Happosai! Because of you, women (including dear Akane) have seen hell! Prepare to die!" Ryouga shouted.
"Here we come, pervert-man!" Shampoo growled, as the four jumped towards the Master of Perversion.
"Happo Fire Burst!" Came a shout from behind them.
The four couldn't dodge in time. They were all blasted by the bomb, and knocked out in an instant.
"Hotcha! Nice job, Sai!" Happosai said to his twin, as he joined him on the roof.
"Too easy, Happo!" Sai said, with a bag filled to the brim with 'silky darlings'.
"Now then, let us enjoy our newest conquest!" Happo cheered.
"Okay!" Sai cheered as well.
The two Twin Terrors bounced off, leaving Ranma and the others alone.
"...Damn you...old freaks..." Ranma growled underneath the pile of sludge and various other things.
"Well, it wasn't easy...but I finally came up with a good price for taking down the 'Twin Terrors'," Nabiki sighed. "500,000 Yen should be enough, right?"
"Well...if that's all we can spare..." Soun said, rubbing his chin. "In other news, we've just finished the posters!"
The head Tendo gave one of the posters to Nabiki, which displayed two poorly drawn Happosais, and words above that said, If you want to test your skills, or just make a few quick yen, then help us defeat this evil you see here! It also included where they lived, and their Phone Number, in case anybody had questions to ask.
"Well, I can see that Akane had a hand in this..." Nabiki snorted. "This picture makes him look even more demonic than he really is."
"Shut up, Nabiki! It's supposed to look like that!" Akane seethed.
"If you say so, sis…" The Money Loving Tendo shrugged.
"Now that everything else has been taken care of, all that is left to do is send as many of these fliers out as fast as we can!" Soun declared. "Akane, I'm counting on you!"
"Piece of cake!" The Youngest Tendo said with thumbs up as she grabbed the posters. "Just leave it to me!
Akane jumped through the window, rushing down the street with posters in hand.
Meanwhile, in the darkness of a simple room, a ritual was taking place.
This room belonged to a young man named Hikari Gosenkugi, another one of Ranma's rivals. …Though, to a much lower extent.
While most of Ranma's enemies used their respective fighting styles to try and take down the stallion, Gosenkugi tended to turn towards the more…arcane forces to defeat his foe.
He didn't really have much luck with that…at all.
But today…today would be different! All thanks to a book that he had obtained, titled 'Dark Warp Portals and You'.
If he could just set everything up correctly…then he would gain the power of the dark legends…the Overlords!
Gosenkugi had read all about these titans of tragedy. Their power was enough to destroy an entire planet with ease. In fact, from what he had read about the most powerful of them all, Tyrant Overlord Baal, they could rule the entire universe uncontested!
That fool Saotome wouldn't be able to overcome this…and sweet Akane would finally be his…
"Everything is finished!" Hikari said, gazing upon the portal that he had drawn up. It looked just like the one in the book. All that was left was to say the magic words…
The gothic boy cleared his throat before uttering the words that would open up his destiny…and Ranma's downfall.
Spirits of darkness, hear my plea
And open the path for humble me
For I am one, who seek the might
To vanquish my foes in a fit of spite
Open the darkness, show me the night
Allow me to rule with unbeatable might!
As soon as Hikari said the last word, the portal began to glow an eerie purple. After a few seconds, the portal exploded with power, knocking Gosenkugi back a bit as a bright light came from the circle.
"I…I can't believe it. It worked!" Gos exclaimed, laughing with joy. "Now…all I have to do is jump into the portal… and it'll only be a matter of time before the power of an Overlord is all mine!"
But just as he was about to, none other than Akane barged into the room. "Gosenkugi! Are you here?"
The gothic boy was so surprised to see the object of his affection that he failed to notice that Akane was holding a big stack of posters in her arms.
He also failed to notice that his giant book of Dark Portals was right in front of Akane as she was rushing in.
The result was rather obvious.
"Kyahhh!" Akane screamed, tripping over the book, and releasing the posters.
"Akane!" Gos said in concern, leaping towards the spot where Akane's face was about to meet the floor. He landed face first on the floor, and Akane landed on top of him.
"Oh no, the posters!" Akane shouted springing up as she saw them fly towards the strange looking light in the dark boy's room. With all the speed she gained training in the Arts, she snatched up every single paper.
Well…except for one.
As Akane watched on in disappointment, and Gosenkugi watched on in horror, the paper flew right into the light. It then vanished right before their eyes, and the light (having done its job), went right with it.
Holt Village. The home of the most famous Demon Hunter of all time.
Well, Ex-Demon Hunter.
Ever since the defeat of the Fake Zenon, there had been no more reason to fight Demons anymore. Not to mention that he (Adell) had more pressing matters to attend to. Namely, saving up enough HL to buy Rozalin a Giant Robo Suit.
"Man…it's been two years since that whole fiasco at Evil Academy, and I'm still not any closer to having enough money to get her that gift…" Adell sighed. "If only I was good at more than just fighting…"
All of a sudden, a little flash came from the nearby Dimensional Gate, followed shortly by a torn piece of paper.
The wind carried the piece of paper all the way towards Adell, and smacked him in the face with it.
"Hey!" The red haired Ex-Demon Hunter grunted, pulling the paper off. He was about to toss it when he saw part of the message on it.
"Hmmm…reward, huh?" Adell mused. He took a look at the picture on the paper, and recoiled a bit. "Ugh, that is the ugliest thing I've ever seen…"
Finally, he looked towards the bottom of the paper, and his eyes went wide. "Wow, look at all those zero's! The other half's been ripped off, but this could be a huge reward.
Adell put two and two together, and said, "This must be a wanted poster! If I can beat the guy on this paper, I can claim the reward! And that'll put me one step closer to getting that gift for Rozalin!"
Adell took one last look at the paper. "Hm…Nerima, huh? Doesn't sound like any place I've ever been to. But I'm sure it'll be fine. I took on the Legendary Tyrant Overlord Baal. Twice! Nothing scares me anymore!"
Adell stuffed the piece of paper in his pants pocket, and clenched his glove-covered fist.
"Time to do what I do best. Taking down demons! Demon Hunter Adell never loses!"
With that, he rushed over to the Gate, intent on gaining the reward, and getting one step closer to getting the girl he liked her present.
However, in a deeper part of the world Veldime, the very same woman that Adell was thinking about just got a similar piece of paper. Or rather, the second half of it. The force and speed that the paper was transported through ripped it clean in half. It was by pure luck that Rozalin happened upon this piece of paper in her castle (she took it from the fake Zenon after his defeat at her hands).
If by luck you mean Taro, Adell's younger brother and Rozalin's most faithful servant.
"You picked this up by the Gate, Taro?" Rozalin said, looking closely at the parchment.
"Yes, princess. I saw it on the ground just as I got back from my mission," Taro said cheerfully.
"It seems to be a wanted poster of some sort. At least, that's how it appears in my eyes. Why else would there be a picture of such a horrid looking thing above a dollar sign?" Rozalin proclaimed. "Apparently, the bounty seems to be in a place called Nerima. Interesting…"
"Princess, are you going to take this bounty request?" Taro questioned.
"…Why not. I've no other pressing matters at the moment," Rozalin said. 'Besides saving up enough money for Adell's Gift… this could help in a big way if I capture this monstrosity.'
Snapping out of her own thoughts, Rozalin stood up from her throne, and thrust her arm out in a grand jester, hand on her hip. "Taro, tell the Gate Master that we shall be departing shortly. Have her set a course for this Nerima. We shall capture this creature, and claim the reward for ourselves!"
"As you wish, princess!" Taro said with a salute, before rushing off.
Rozalin watched with a fond smile before pulling out her gun, Noble Rose.
'It's been two years since the Evil Academy incident…and two years since I've had to use you again,' The reincarnated Goddess of all Overlords thought. 'You are the most special of guns to me, since Adell's mother gave you to me as a gift. You've gotten me through many a tough battle. …And more importantly, you've kept me from having to resort to…THAT power again…let's hope it's the same today…'
Taking a deep breath, the princess holstered the weapon to the side of her dress, and followed after Taro, ready to face whatever came her way.
Hanako: Hi, everybody! Super sexy, super cool and super cute Hanako is here to do the preview for the next episode! An episode that features my big brother Adell kicking ass and taking names!
Adell: Hanako, you're embarrassing me…
Hanako: Adell finally makes it to the gaudy town of Nerima, intent on vanquishing its evil troll of a pervert!
Happosai: Hey, I'm no troll, ya little brat!
Hanako: (Blows Happosai away with Bazooka) When he gets there, he finds that a group of rag-tag wannabe fighters is already assembled to take down the troll, with the leader being the world-class pervert, the-more-fiancés-than-you-can-shake-a-stick-at, Ranma Saotome!
Ranma: Hey, I ain't a pervert! That's the old freak's job!
Hanako: (Knocks Ranma out with a frying pan) The vile Saotome challenges the dashing and handsome Adell to a fight of epic proportions! Take this, Soaring fire!
Adell: Hanako…
Hanako: How about this?! Crimson Flame!
Adell: Hanako…?
Hanako: Ultimate trump card fighting skill! VULCAN BLAZE!!"
Adell: …I give up.
Hanako: Adell shall show these weaklings the true meaning of skill and power! And he shall do it with both hands tied behind his back.
Adell: Good luck with that…"
Hanako: Next time, on 'The Adventures of the Dashing and Super Strong Adell'! Final Episode, The Gauntlet of Terror! Be sure to watch for a guest appearance from me! (Heart)
And that finishes the first chapter of this Ranma/Disgaea crossover. Hope you enjoyed it. Catch you next Continue!