It's season 4 and Chris has stated that the ex-contestants can be guests or just walk around. I didn't want to see any of the new people on the island, so I told Chris I needed a walk down memory lane.

The old boat pulled into the dock of shame, there is now a catapult there other wise is seemed un touched the wood was breaking and un-cared for. I sat down on a tree stump in the elimination fire pit. I remember being dragged down the dock like it was yesterday, I can still fell the warm wooden skull Duncan had thrown to me...I pulled the small fragile skull from my pocket It still smelled just like him...

I shake the thought out of my head he's the one I came here to forget, not forgive. I stand up slowly and slip the skull into my pocket. I walk into the woods for what seems to be hours then sit down at the base of the tree, I glance at my watch, it's been ten minuets. I glace up then stare horrified at the tree in front of me there it was... the bright red skull that was spray painted on the tree, I remember that day vividly, he had been spray painting that when I had run into him in the woods during the deer hunt. We accomplished to get our antlers stuck together. I get up and just keep walking, even though I know I'm just walking into another memory of the two of us on the island, I'm really not sure how much more of this I can take.

When I step into a clearing, well not a clearing THE clearing, where the bass had camped out under the stars, I was so cold and alone that night and he had looked so warm and happy, I couldn't help my self from curling up next to him. the night was perfect...where did I go wrong and why did he have to leave me. I realized I had begun to weep quietly in the dirt. I stand up wipe the tears from my face and just walk on down to the beach, What memories could there be here?

I had spoken to soon it was on this beach we had stolen the million dollar brief case from Lindsey and Beth... our first sort of break up...then I look up to see the dodge ball area, what remains of it anyway I run inside and sit on the bench where had had once sat I take in a deep breath... the peaces of the stick we had used to wake him up lay askew on the floor. I glace down at the beach the new contestants drive down the beach in go carts... just like the ones we had to build when I came back in season 2, his had worked perfectly wile mine couldn't come together, later he taught me how to build one. I was never quiet as good as him with all that stuff, that what I get for falling in love with a criminal.

I walked into the dinning hall so many things come to my mind at once I can't help crying to my self on the table, I glace up to see chief hatchet next to me with a tall glace of water.

"drink something" he seems concerned or sad"If you know this was gonna happen why did you come back." this time he sounded stern and worried.

" wanted to know what I did wrong..." my voice trails off then I see what he means I really needed that water it soothed my throat.

"nothing he wasn't thinking..." He sees something out the window, but all I catch is a bush moving."you should try checking out your old cabin, its still there you know."

"Thank you chief"I begin"give Chris a good punch in the face for me k chief." He nods that's all I need I finish my water then leave for the cabin.

There where no memories I could possibly get from the suit cases of the other campers, I lean over the railing like I did the night I first kissed Duncan. my vomit still hasn't been fully cleaned up witch makes me laugh a little It's been like 2years...

"so the princess has a dark side" a low sweet voice says from be-hide me. I whip around there he is... no dreaming no hallucination no craziness there he is in front of me.

"It was just like once I did something bad I just wanted more." most people would say there's my angel well he's my devil my all access pass to trouble and I love that about him

" I broke up with Gwen" he says it so plainly it seems he new it was coming."I realized all I ever wanted has you and I has being a bloody idiot..." his voice trails off he opens his mouth to say something else, but I stop by doing something that I used to by now.

I grabbed his shirt and pull him in. He doesn't object just follows my lead, It hard to forget how some one you love works. He will tense up at first then relax and get with the program. this time he knows what he's doing, he knows how to handle me, You don't need to be gentle I can take care of my self. He probably remembers from our previous arguments. he slides down and pulls e down with him he lie there for a wile, his arms around my back mine around his neck the presser of his lips against mine. Magical that's how I'll describe or time together we know everything about each other and exactly how we fit together. I alarm goes off some where up a hill "that's my Que" he wipers to me kissing me one last time, "I'll see you around beautiful"

We meet up on the island every other day just to spend time together and we even spend some time with the new contestants, some are fairly nice, after the show ended we would meet in the woods on the island the wild life didn't mind us, even if it started to rain we found a nice hollow tree that had a nice opening along the down hill side of the roots I loved him so and I still do. I always believed he left me alone, but he was only lost and no that he's found his way back I doubt he's going to leave again any time soon.