****I do not own Naruto at all. I do own Kiranohime. This story is just for fun. Do review. I am looking to improve.
Kakashi was really starting to dislike the fifth Hokage.
She simply WOULD NOT keep her nose out of everyone's business now that there was a little peace. The last 18 months of her "counseling" had lead to three happy jounin marriages, and numerous dating couples. And lucky for Kakashi, he was her newest project.
He'd been on numerous dates in the last 3 months, not the worst of which were with two of the village's most tempestuous women. He shook his head as memories of both evenings played in his mind.
The date with Anko might not have been so bad if she had been in a better mood... and hadn't been such a flirtatious drunk. The mandatory date had been much more enjoyable- after she went home with Genma.
And the other date...
What had Tsunade been thinking?
Awkward was such an understatement when he thought of describing his date with, the now very adult, Sakura.
The women appearently had her eye on yet another emotional black-hole, so Kakashi had been the farthest thing from her mind in the way of 'eligible bachelors'.
Not even to mention how they'd never really hit it off in their brief teacher-student relationship. And with all that the evening had still been more enjoyable than the other.
She, Sai, and himself had drinks at a local bar, exchanging stories from younger days after having a casual dinner.
The outcome was, however, very much the same: his 'date' went home, happily, with another man.
He had been considerably happier for Sakura though. She deserved some relief and Sai seemed to reciprocate something similar to interest in her.
And Kakashi trusted Sai wouldn't take advantage of her tipsy state. The poor man had not yet realized the ways he was wrapped around the pink-haired kunoichi's finger. Kakashi chuckled to himself aloud. People eyed him strangely as he wandered up the main road of Konoha, hands in pockets, in full jounin uniform, to Hokage Tower.
Disturbing himself, Kakashi hoped the Hokage's summons was related to a long mission, far away. He loved lazing about at home, but he could not keep his mind off women lately.
And not in the normal sense for him.
He was actually thinking about wanting to have someone to warm his bed for him until he returned from missions. And rub the sore shoulders he never acknowledged. Maybe gently brush his wild hair with her fingers as she hummed. Know who he was under all the layers of cloth and love him anyways.
Yeah.
That kind of wishful thinking was going to do him in.
He nodded to the guards as he passed under the arch and took the stairs quickly.
Walking was good. His mind wouldn't wander if he was focusing on moving…
Yet another wishful thought. This was all, that God-damned woman's fault.
He was perfectly contented with his empty, slightly messy, apartment and collection of smutty novels before.
He did NOT want a woman in his life.
If Tsunade would just leave things be…
Annoyance dominated his mind again as he reached the door. He knocked once.
"Come in Kakashi." Her sharp voice pierced through the solid wood.
She sounded unusually sober. This, most likely, meant she had a hang-over, and that this meeting was serious.
The hang-over concerned him more.
Kakashi winced as he opened the door and didn't look up to make eye contact until he'd closed it again and had taken a few steps forward. "You called for me Hokage" Kakashi said, trying to sound indifferent.
"Yes." She purred as she grinned up at him.
Her eyes held a troublesome glint he didn't like.
"I have a new mission for you. It's a long one. I figured you could use some time away. It involves a cover and a partner from the village hidden in the mist." She gingerly picked the folder up from the desk and extended it to him with the same mischievous smirk.
Something definitely wasn't right.
Tsunade had a distinct air of victory about her as she lifted the folder.
She was never in this good of a mood when sober.
Kakashi had nearly missed what she'd actually said, he was so focused on reading her perplexing emotional climate.
Just before his hand clamped on the folder she snatched it back. Troublesome mood indeed.
"The rest of the details are only for the nin who accepts it. That's all I can tell you without your acceptance of the mission." Tsunade was playing mind-games. This was a bad sign for him.
Kakashi stroked his chin thoughtfully for a few moments and took satisfaction in the Hokage's slightly souring mood. He was going to take the bait. It wouldn't kill her to wait a minute for victory.
"Why would you offer me a choice in this mission Hokage-san?" he asked thoughtfully.
Tsunade's face contorted in deep thought. She was formulating a lie, no doubt. "I just know most shinobi would shy away from this mission. I want you to feel like you had the choice." She said simply.
In other words: 'this needs to look like your decision if something goes bad.'
Well that piqued his curiosity. What was so terrible, in this time of peace and prosperity, that she would need as skilled a jounin as him to act without the name of Hokage attached?
Kakashi began to pace.
She said he would have a partner… so it wasn't a simple assassination. He could do those in his sleep.
She said it was to be far away. Surely then it wasn't some sort of military advancement for Konoha. Even the best two nin couldn't pull that off alone.
There were some dangerous criminals loose. But it proved to be an act of futility to seek them out. They would surface in the wrong place at the wrong time sooner or later.
It was as dangerous as it was appealing to accept this mission without any further information.
But he would do just that. He paused directly on center with her desk and turned towards her again.
"Very well Lady Hokage. I accept your… challenge."
Kakashi had to stifle his panic as her face twisted from boredom into a wicked grin.
What had he just done?
He cautiously took the folder and flipped through it as he quickly skimmed details.
The information was not very informational. Nothing was direct. It was like the entire thing had been coded by a coy woman. Much was implied but nothing was stated directly. Godaime Mizukage was mentioned multiple times but not clearly why.
The last page fell open to a bingo page mock-up.
The kunoichi had long, elegant, mahogany curls. The picture was small, and effectively vague. She was petite. Child-like almost, except her gracefully curved hourglass figure definitely belonged to a woman of experience. Her half-masked face radiated feminine sexuality and violent fatality. The profile said very little, really only that she had left more than one massacre in the wake of her temper and that she had disturbing amounts composure. That sounded like it would be in his area of expertise…
"So this 'Death's Princess' is my…target?" Kakashi questioned after translating her name, without looking up from the picture. It would be such a terrible waste to take the life out of that female's body. He traced the silhouette in the picture with the tip of his finger. Maybe he would get to seduce her... he hadn't had a mission like that in a while. Hell she looked like she'd be fun to work into a submissive death. And he so desperately needed to get out of his head for a while.
Tsunade burst out in laughter and interrupted Kakashi's imagination.
She calmed to breathlessly correct him. "No. Kira No Hime is your wife." Tsunade barely finished the sentence before she began cackling again, half at Kakashi's suspecting glare. She sent him away with a wave of her hand before he could adequately form a question.
That had not been what he was expecting. He didn't even want to date and Tsunade-match-maker had just married him off, in contract form, to a woman he didn't know.
A woman he didn't want to know.
He slowly walked down the stairs as he absorbed the information.
He just agreed to be married.
Truthfully, he hadn't ever considered sharing his life with anyone full time.
Hadn't known anyone he wanted that close.
Well there was her.
But that was so long ago. He'd been young and stupid.
And Magatou had been dead a long time now. Because of him.
And this mist kunoichi looked like trouble.
She wasn't even a leaf nin! Wouldn't this mission still have worked if he'd been forced to marry a woman he had at least met before!?
Kakashi could still hear her cackling as he exited the bottom of the tower.
He spitefully thought of how well it suited the witch to have a laugh like that.
He poofed himself back to the bottom of his apartment complex' stair case.
What had she thought was so damned funny?
It was a bit Ironic that she was marrying him off after failing to get him to date…
But it was only a mission…?
Though, it did look like the marriage was going to have to be convincing. He noted that they were to make quite a few public appearances as a married couple and not many less in front of the daimyo and kage's families.
He paused.
What the hell was this mission about?
He would have to decipher it once he got comfortable in his apartment again. Maybe he'd change back into his pajamas after a morning training session with his best friends. Maybe Genma and Gai could even help him make some sense out of all the nonsense in the folder.
If he filtered it just right, they'd never know he was talking about a mission.
He was an excellent liar.
It still wasn't that funny. And Tsunade was going to be sorely disappointed if she expected him to take any sort of liking to the troublesome brunette in the folder.
He was SO beyond done playing her stupid games. Hokage or not.
He had already resigned himself to a life of meaningless one-night-stands and an empty, cold bed.
Why did she go digging up all this loneliness in him? Didn't Tsunade know how much this was going to affect his focus?
She had been there; the first and only time he let his heart get broken.
She had seen the disaster that followed.
He knew he was his best when he was cold and un-whole and alone.
Why couldn't she accept that? He was better for the village this way.
No woman was worth his focus. Especially now that he knew what a lie love was.
An unfamiliar chakra brought Kakashi out of his internal rant to realize how he was awkwardly standing at the bottom of the staircase, glaring at the ground.
The entire cove of his apartment complex reeked of… white jasmine, green apple, and citrus blossoms..?
Perfume.
He looked up to his porch only to find a slightly familiar silhouette leaned backwards against his railing.
A mahogany-crowned, deep-blue-kimono-ed, female, silhouette...
And the well known blond spikes of his old hyper-active student bobbling energetically.
He could already hear the young man babbling excidedly.
It would be best to stop him before all the secrets of Konoha were told to the strange mist nin.
Kakashi huffed an annoyed sigh and lethargically started up the stairs.
As he slowly ascended, his annoyance redoubled.
Why were either of them here, invading his private space!?
The woman even more so!
He had only just barely gotten the mission.
Kakashi got a sneaking suspicion; he flipped quickly through the folder and frantically skimmed the logistics page.
He disappointedly found just what he knew he'd find: "Start date: today"
That was what the witch had thought so funny. Kakashi was suddenly too annoyed to even care why Naruto was intruding in his peaceful sanctuary. Appearently he was going to need to pack.
"So a mask for you too, huh? I never really got the whole mask thing. I've never really seen Kakashi-shishou's face; he has one just like yours that he never- EVER- takes off. We've even tried to trick him! Do you ever take yours off? I bet you're really pretty under there." The jinchuuriki licked his lips eagerly,"Have you and Kakashi seen each other without your masks? How is it you know Kakashi? You know, I don't think he has women over often. Well not during the day." At that he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. " Can I see what's under your mask!?" Naruto was practically shouting.
Kira was much too amused to be properly annoyed at the loud-mouthed teenager.
As Kakashi rounded the corner at the top of his stairs he wanted to laugh at the scene:
Kira was backed into the corner, standing in front of her travel pack, with slight amusement dancing in her eyes, as she minimally adjusted into a defensive pose, Naruto reaching towards her face, both arms extended like an idiot.
To a civilian it would look like Naruto was attacking her, but to another shinobi-
It looked like Naruto was about to get his ass kicked.
Kakashi crossed his arms and cleared his throat.
As funny as it would have been, he couldn't very well let a fellow leaf nin get murdered on his porch. Even one who earned the beating. Naruto didn't stop his advance as Kira nodded slightly at Kakashi.
With one hand Kira swept both Naruto's arms away and flipped him onto his back.
"My purpose here is the business of Kakashi and I, Naruto-kun, and I would appreciate it, if ever we meet again, you remember this and keep your hands to yourself." Kira dropped Naruto's arm and stood back to her full height and bowed graciously at Kakashi as he grabbed Naruto's squirming leg and yanked him a couple feet farther from the damsel in distress...
She was an even 5'3" to Kakashi's 6'7". And she'd just effortlessly leveled Naruto's 6'2".
Naruto jumped back to his feet and began shouting at Kira once more. "Do you have any idea who you just man-handled lady!?"
Kira's eyebrows raised in question.
"According to my information you aren't of any significance" she said honestly, as if she was barely concerned she'd made a mistake and was double checking her information.
"That should be Naruto-senpai to you! Whore! Shishou, you should not invite women like this to dirty the pure air of Konoha!" the insult struck her like a slap, her body recoiling from the source. Kakashi felt her chakra rise.
"I will not be spoken to in such a manner by the likes of you. You do not know of whom you speak." She replied emotionlessly. Her body tensed and her fists clenched.
Kakashi slapped Naruto in the back of the head. "You idiot. This is Kira No Hime. Jounin of the hidden mist. She is my guest, as well as the Hokage's. You should know better than to go trying to put your hands on women. And how dare you speak to a warrior so dishonorably! This woman is the same regarded as 'Spring Breeze of the Mist' by her countrymen."
Naruto's eyes lit up in recognition. She was known by her people as just and pure: carrying away death and bringing new life to the country. She was the invisible hands of Godaime Mizukage.
"I swear, you should not have been allowed to spend so much time with Ero-sennin." Kakashi turned away from the rightly mortified blond buffoon and bowed to Kira, who was still wearing a deeply insulted facial expression."My deepest apologies, Kira-dono. My former student failed greatly in the area of common courtesy. Welcome to our village. Welcome to my home. If you wish to exact a punishment for this grave insult, I would that the punishment be laid upon me. If I had been more punctual" and Tsunade had been honest," you would not have had to meet this insufferable idiot."
It was the best Kakashi could offer to try and prevent war at the moment. Naruto and his rash behavior had already cost his sensei much in the past.
Kira's expression smoothed out and she seemed to let her chakra relax again "All is forgiven Hatake Kakashi-dono. Please forgive my flair in temper. Though, I would like to know who this insolent child seems to think he is." She seemed genuinely curious.
Kakashi looked down at Naruto who was now standing next to him with an angry look on his face again. He was about to say something stupid. Again. Kakashi smacked him in the back of the head for the second time and eyed him angrily. Kira smiled warmly at the interaction.
Naruto laughed at that and forgot her previous insult "I'm Uzumaki Naruto and someday I'm going to be Hokage!!!" Naruto exclaimed excidedly.
Kira laughed gently, nodded her head in realization and then bowed to Naruto slightly as she introduced herself. "You may call me Kira-taichou, Kyuubi no jinchuuriki. I am from the village hidden in the mist. What a pleasure it is to meet two of the Fire country's most famous nin. Your reputations proceed you. And as for my purpose here, I have the pleasure of being assigned a mission with your Kakashi-shishou. I'll have to be sure to keep an eye out for you if you're to become Hokage"
Naruto winked at her and all three of them laughed.
Kakashi's was strained and insincere, though he faked it well.
Every time she'd said the words 'pleasure' or 'Kakashi' since she'd opened her mouth, Kakashi was sure his pants had shrunk a size. He needed Naruto to be gone so they could talk in his apartment and he could be out-of-sight... and find some bigger pants. "Naruto why are you here?"
"OH! I was just wondering if you knew where Sakura was. I went to her apartment and she wasn't there and Sai was being all weird and threatened to kill me when I transported into his house." Naruto pouted. Kakashi chuckled again.
Appearently in just four weeks Sakura had effectively invaded Sai's solidarity.
Kakashi felt Kira's eyes appraisingly taking him in and pretended to not notice. It felt good to be studied like this by someone entirely new.
Oh. God. He was not enjoying this. He was not.
"You shouldn't worry about it. I'm sure they'll be punctual as ever at the meeting spot"
Naruto shot him a suspicious glare. "You know more than you let on old man." He accused.
Kakashi winced at the liberal use of one of his least favorite adjectives. He really didn't want Kira thinking he was old.
Even though her promotion stats were similar to his, she was still only seven years older than his students. Which made him seven years her senior.
He was only 32 for crying out loud!
"You know, it would serve you to be more observant. Goodbye Naruto." Kakashi said in his usual indifferent tone.
Naruto stuck his tongue out "Kira-taichou," Naruto called out as he took off down the stairs, "watch yourself. My sensei's well known around town with the women for his sneaky hands." Naruto wiggled his eyebrows suggestively again. " No matter who he tries to accredit for my misbehavior." Naruto winked again and the disappeared. Kira stared at the newly empty first step with confusion.
Kakashi's pants shrank again. He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Well then, let's go inside. I just got the mission this morning. I'll be needing to pack."