It spread like a flower, a beautiful red flower, like a poppy or a rose. His heart caught with the first trace, and broke in two as he saw it. He lifted his gun and shot, hard. There was no such thing as trying to make a live arrest when your own life was crumbling before your eyes. He watched as she fell to her knees, her eyes wide with shock. He took down the balaclava-clad men opposite him with three shots, to each of their heads. Dealt with, cold heartedly and without an ounce of compassion. He had no room for compassion. He was filled with pain.
He ran to her side, catching her before she hit the ground, so she flopped over his knees. In seconds he felt the warmth soaking through his pants. He lifted her a little and held her in his arms, so that her fear filled eyes were turned to his. He gestured wildly at his trainee agent, but the man was already on the phone to 911. Luckily, when he was done, he knew to keep his distance. Booth waited, cupping Brennan's face with one of his hands, whispering reassurance to her.
"It's ok, Bones. The medics are on their way. Don't try to speak. You're going to be fine."
His voice didn't even catch, his eyes didn't overflow. She smiled a sad, painful smile at him, and then she spoke:
"Shhh. You don't have to lie to me."
"I'm not lying. Bones, stay calm and still. You'll be all right, I promise."
"Booth... I need you to listen to me..." she murmured, "I'm not going to last much longer..."
He shook his head fiercely. "Bones, you'll be all right!" he shouted, almost as if he was trying to convince himself more than her.
"Booth, you always loved harder than me..." she said. He looked at her, puzzled. He didn't understand what she was saying. Unless she meant...
"I know how hard this will be for you." she whispered, "Harder for you than it is for me..."
"Bones..."
"Please just listen, Booth. I know you've loved me more than I could ever hope to love anyone, more than I deserve to be loved..."
His eyes filled, "You deserve every second of it."
"But I tried to love you too, I do love you too, and I've been stupid not to let you know... It's illogical to know you have reciprocating feelings for someone, and not to reveal them."
"You and your freaking logic." he said through tears.
She coughed a little, and her face grew gradually paler. He stroked the side of her cheek gently.
"Angela...Angela always told me to tell you... I...I thought we had all the time in the world..." she said softly, her eyes filling. Booth tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, and smiled bitterly.
"So did I." he murmured, "I wanted you forever, Temperance." And her heart caught on her real name, "But I held back because I didn't want to send you running."
She reached out with a shaky, pale hand and cupped his face. "I was scared. Scared that it wouldn't be all I thought it would be, scared that we're both such strong characters - what if we fought and were never friends again? Scared..." she broke off to cough. He bent his head and pressed his lips to her forehead.
"Shhhh, Bones. Don't talk any more. The paramedics will be here any minute."
She slid her hand down from his face to reach around at his side, finally finding and clasping his hand in hers.
"I love you, Booth." she whispered softly, tears rolling down her cheeks, feebly attempting to squeeze his hand. "I love you."
He lifted her in his arms and held her to his chest, rocking her as she cried. "I love you too, Temperance." he said, and then he held her away from him slightly. "Can I kiss you now?" he said.
She nodded. "Please." she breathed and his lips touched gently onto hers. The explosion that came from the built up pain, grief and sudden realisation they were experiencing felt like a knife to Booth's heart. He held her already half limp body to him, clutching as much of her as he could, knowing that the clock was ticking...
Brennan couldn't feel anything. Her legs had numbed minutes ago and her arms now hung limp and loose by her sides, except for the hand that Booth held. She realised with a jolt she couldn't feel his hand in hers. She could feel nothing...only cold.
God, what a cliche. She hadn't expected dying to be so...painless. Only in the physical way, of course, because in the emotional way she was being torn up inside.
When his lips finally pulled back from hers to catch his breath, she smiled faintly and stared into his eyes. And another cliche occurred to her - now I can die happy. She felt her eyelids becoming and he leant down and caught her lips with his again.
She knew no more.
By the time he pulled away he knew something was very wrong. He held her in his arms, pressing kisses to her forehead, her face, her lips, willing her to respond in some way, if even by a smile. But nothing came. There was no reward for his feverish kisses, no light in her eyes and no smile on her lips. Or was there? One side of her mouth tilted up slightly, in that adorable little half smile she saved only for him. And it was frozen in time now, along with anything and everything they ever were, and could have been. He lifted her even further off the ground and held her against him, feeling the sticky blood bonding their shirts together, like a lost, last chance lifeline. And then the blood stopped flowing.
He remembered everything they'd ever been through, everything they'd ever done. He remembered smiling at her when she detested him, gradually gaining her trust and then her friendship. He remembered her coming after him when he was taken hostage, and her look of absolute desperation when he had stumbled into that warehouse, clutching at his side, seeing her tied up there, ready for her last seconds on earth. He remembered Angela's wedding, how beautiful she had looked, and he remembered everything else, the little kiss on the cheek at the hospital, the real kiss that had definitely been nothing like kissing her brother at Christmas, the feelings they had never acted on. He smiled a little, and rocked her, back and forth. She was limp now, and somehow resembled a rag doll.
When the ambulances drew up he knew. He could tell by her grey, ashen face and her blue tinged lips that it was over.
Everything.
It was over.
Don't cry too much. And reviewing always makes you feel so much better.
