Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyoujin.
amaurosis
n. blindness, especially when occurring without visible damage to the eye
The walls fell months ago, and Mikasa cannot bring herself to feel anything.
She isn't sure how many survivors there are left, but soon there will only be one. Her.
She doesn't know how she knows this, how this thought is so concrete in her mind, but she does. And it is true.
It is entirely possible – plausible, even – that Corporal Rivaille and some of the more seasoned members of the Scouting Legion still survive.
But there is only so much resolve in those who have no reason to live.
Mikasa, though, does. Mikasa lives on for Eren. To keep his memory alive. (Because it is only when she can't remember him anymore that he is truly dead.)
She remembers blood-red warmth across her neck and hears a whispered murmur upon the wind (I'll wrap it as many times as I need to.) and that spurs her on.
"The world is cruel," she mouths, tired eyes scanning the rooftops. "Cruel, and beautiful."
She is all too aware that this destruction had not been the beauty spoken of. And yet it is beautiful, oh so beautiful, that lovely destruction of crumbled buildings and blood.
She wonders if she can be considered sane sometimes, but then she remembers that sanity has always been a matter of perspective, and hers is the only one that truly matters anymore.
But- Eren, she remembers – and realizes that that isn't entirely true.
Eren, and his determination and anger and death. She treasures it – all of him – and yet she wishes that he wasn't. Wasn't any of it, but most of all, wasn't dead.
(But it's all connected, isn't it? If he wasn't determined and wasn't angry, he wouldn't have died. Right?)
She is hysterical, she knows, but doesn't let it show. She has no one to show a blank facade to anymore, but this is her. This is Mikasa.
She stares out at the world with dead eyes, sightlessly.
AN:
Just a drabble I found languishing in my hard drive maybe an hour ago. I decided to touch it up and publish it because really, it's actually a lot better than expected.
Could be construed as implied Mikaere, I guess. It's not like I don't ship it. v_v
etione