Unlikely Evil

Battle of the cookies

A/n: If this is your first time reading, stick with it, at least until you get to the evil toy store. I want to rewrite these first few chapters to flow better with what this story eventually becomes, but I haven't had the time. Anyway, this is a series where the brothers take on unlikely, but (I would say) obvious evil in the world. The only question this time is… can Dean deny cookies in the name of vanquishing evil? Warning… completely ridiculous and cracktastic. Standard disclaimers apply.

"But… the cookies! Think of the cookies, Sam," Dean whined.

"I know, Dean, but she's evil. She's got to be stopped! How many countless housewives have been drained of life force because of her?"

"But… the cookies!"

Sam scowled. He did not like it anymore than Dean did, but it was inevitable. Where they found evil, evil must be stopped. …even if it made fantastic desserts.

"I will buy you cookies after, okay?"

"Not the same… won't be fresh baked…"

Sam ignored that for his own sanity. "Alright, let's go over the plan. We're going to lure her out with potpourri and that apple pie from the diner you like so much."

"What's the point if I don't get to eat any…" Dean asked sullenly.

Sam rolled his eyes and continued. "Apparently this kind of witch can only be defeated by making them so angry that the combust in upon themselves, so we have to try and make it angry. Under no circumstances should you tell it the cookies are good! In fact, we may be better off if we obliterate anything that might tempt you. Plus, that will help make it mad."

"… or me mad…" Dean said under his breath.

"What did you say?" Sam asked tiredly, realizing he wouldn't get an honest answer.

"I said evil bad… so what else are we supposed to do to make it mad? I mean, I think the sooner we can be done, the better."

"Well, I had to dig up some information because I didn't know much about her… but I think I have an idea…"

~*~

Sam and Dean snuck onto the closed set after dark, carrying guns and flashlights. Although the guns wouldn't kill it, they would ensure at least a bit of bought time if she realized they were onto her.

"Are you sure she'll be here," Dean whispered, skeptically.

"Bobby said something about her needing to prepare a spell to collect the energy before every collection. I'm guessing she doesn't do that before she's had her coffee."

Dean made a "sounds reasonable" face, as Sam picked the lock to the stage set.

"You got the pie?" The lock clicked and they were in, but when Dean didn't answer, Sam looked back to see Dean's acting innocent face. "Dean. Seriously?"

"Well, I'm sorry. You said we might have to destroy cookies," he complained. The way he sounded, on might have thought Sam told him he'd have to destroy the Impala.

"Fine," Sam said through gritted teeth, "we'll just have to make do with the potpourri."

~*~

Half an hour later, the boys emerged from the wreckage of the set which was still burning behind them. They were covered head to toe in something gooey. Dean reached out and got a fingerful from Sam's jacket, and stuck it in his mouth.

"Dude," Sam said, making a face.

"What?"

"That's disgusting."

"Hey, when evil explodes cookie dough, you just have to go with it."

Sam rolled his eyes and tried to wipe off some of the cherry pie filling. "I can't believe we just ganked Martha Stewart…"

"I can't believe how much she flipped out over bad napkin-folding…"

More to come! Review if you would be so kind, and here's my shameless plug for my other (serious) story "Free Will."