Emmett's Brainstorm
"Hey, Jazz, Eddie, let's ditch school today. Come on," I suggested. Basically, things were looking boring so far today and I had had enough.
"Don't think so, Em," Jasper replied. "I have a test today in math and Dr. Miller will be giving out the rubrics for our upcoming math projects. We need to be there for both of those. You know how the parental units are about the grades."
"Come on, guys, we're like old married men. We're still teenagers, you know. We need to have some fun, like other teens do. And let's face it, other teens skip school sometimes."
"Emmett, I'm not sure what's going on with the frontal lobe there, but we skip school all the time," Jasper reminded me sarcastically.
"Yeah, we skip with our parent's permission. What kind of self respecting teenager gets their parent's permission to skip school? Truly we are sick beings and I question the sanity of allowing us to exist in the state we're in now. For gentlemen, we have not lived or adventured, until we have taken the toll of skipping to the highest level and skip school on our own."
"You're so full of it," Jasper signed shaking his head.
"Emmett, every time you have one of these fantastic ideas, something happens. You know how dad is about responsibility. Carlisle won't like it," Edward reminded us.
"Dad's away for three days. By the time he gets back, this one day will be long gone," I insisted. "We're just taking a day off from school."
"Technically," Jazz pointed out, "we always take days off when the weather is bad for us to be here."
"But what about when it's good for us?" I countered. "Come on, you know this school shit is boring and I need a break from it. Let's face it, with dad out of town; this is the best chance we have to pull this off."
Jasper seemed to be swayed as he considered my suggestion. He turned to Edward, "What do you want to do?"
Edward shrugged nonchalantly, and then smirked as if he had the perfect counter argument. "Guys, have you thought about mom? Esme will know. She's almost as perceptive as Carlisle," he pointed out.
"No she won't," I rejected the idea from our goody two shoes little brother, "We'll get back in time to come home right after school."
"First off, I'm not a goody two shoes, Emmy Bear," Edward snapped back after hearing my thoughts, "and secondly, you know Alice will see this and it'll all be over."
"Aw, give it a rest, baby bro," I shut him down quickly. "We all know she won't tell anyone unless there's some sort of problem."
"Right, like we usually plan to have a problem. That's what makes them problems, when we either don't plan for them or we overlook some possibility and it comes back to bite us in the ass; usually in the form of dad pounding on one or all of ours," Jasper so eloquently pointed out. "We have to be careful in this Em, I'm not interested in having Carlisle come home to have to whoop our butts for your bad ideas. I've been able to dodge that bullet for two years now and I'm not about to let your antics ruin my track record."
"Whaaat? I know you're not scared, 'Major Whitlock'. You wanna play it safe all your existence? We're not talking about starting a war here, dude, just ditching school," I countered, "Okay? What do you guys want to do?"
This time Edward spoke up. "What about going to the mall in Port Angeles and hit that new arcade?"
I jumped on it, "Yeah! We don't want to be hanging around in town or dad may find out for sure."
"What if we don't get back here in time?" Jasper asked. "The girls are going to know what happened. Well, they'll know anyway, but we still want to keep the trouble to a minimum if we can."
"It's not like they'll be stranded. Rosie drove her car so they'll be able to get home fine. Alice will see we're coming later and let everyone know and we'll meet up at home," I explained my logic.
"Still, Emmett, if we don't get home at the same time, mom is going to be worried and probably be mad at us," Edward said rather forcefully.
"We'll we ask mom for forgiveness," I responded. "Why don't you say what you're really afraid of, Eddie?
I started thinking of some of Rose's and my favorite positions and Edward winced.
"Stay out of my head, baby brother, if you can't handle the knowledge," I chided, knowing he would try that one.
"Maybe you'd better stay behind since you're probably worried about what your little girlfriend may say, whipped boy," I challenged him.
"Better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission," Jasper said grinning.
Boo Yah! Jazz was in!
"No, not better; it's easier and a cop-out, but I'm in, just to watch you squirm when this idea blows up in your face," retorted Edward.
"What's the worst that can happen? Dad's not here to discuss our transgressions, so if mom gets mad, the wooden chairs will just be something to sit in while she yells at us," I mused.
Dad always referred to our trips to his office as our 'discussion' time. We all knew it meant butt beatings but he liked to be polite in front of mom and the girls. Besides, he always talked to us beforehand about why were about to be punished, so he called them discussions.
Mom never spanked us more than a swat or two, as she left that wonderful task for our father. Besides, we all knew she was much too sweet and delicate to take on a trio of nearly grown teenage boys for a spanking.
"That's a solid point, you know," agreed Jasper quickly. This idea was starting to look better and better to him.
Edward started to ask, "What if mom decides to discuss…"
"Mom would never do that," interrupted Jasper, guffawing at Edward's ludicrous thoughts.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," said Edward. "That is ridiculous, isn't it?"
"Okay, so are we on?" I asked excitedly. "We game, boys? Because if we are, we need to move now; since we've decided, that means Alice also knows now."
"Sure, let's do this," responded Jasper, ready to go forth on an adventure.
"Shouldn't we tell the girls what's going on?" wondered Edward aloud.
"No," I answered vehemently. "They'll try to first, talk us out of it; or second, beg to come with us. And neither of the two scenarios is acceptable."
"Yeah, it's boy's day off, not the siblings," said Jasper catching on to the excitement.
Edward cursed, "I swear, if we get in trouble…"
"What could possibly go wrong?" I asked showing my best bear-eating grin.
"Honestly," Edward laughed, "those are the words that have preceded many a disaster, my man. Let's go!"
"Shotgun!" yelled Jasper as he raced for the front seat of Edward's Volvo.
"Hey! It was my idea!" I yelled racing after the two of them.