Confusion

As I ran through the cold water of the fountain I saw him walking out of the doorway of the ancient building, and willed my legs to pump faster so I could get to him in time. So I could get to him before he walked into the sunlight, into the grasp of the Volturi, into the grasp of death. He had his eyes closed as he unbuttoned his shirt and gracefully took a step forward. I jumped out of the fountain and sprinted with my arms out stretched towards him. My body slammed into his with a futile effort to push him back inside before someone saw him.

"Heaven," he whispered into my ear as he stroked my hair.

"I'm alive! Open your eyes! Look at me! I'm not dead!" I screamed trying to get him to see me. Trying to get him to understand the truth.

He slowly opened his eyes and a look of ecstatic disbelief lit up his face.

"Bella" he sang as he pulled me up into his arms.

"Now you don't have to kill yourself out of guilt" I told him quietly. "I can finally let you go."

"But I can't let you go" he replied. He looked down at my face and pulled me to him. He was trying to kiss me. I couldn't believe it. How could he want to kiss me after he broke up with me and left me as vampire bait for Victoria to easily pick off? Isn't this what I wanted? What I needed? What I'd dreamt of since he left me all alone? Suddenly I realized it wasn't Edward I wanted to kiss after all.

He touched his cold, hard lips to mine, and Jacob's smiling, happy face flashed through my mind. It was so vivid it was as if Jacob was standing right in front of me. I thought of the moment we shared right before Edward had called. That moment when the unknown was about to be known. Jacob's lips so close to mine, radiating heat and passion. I wanted that kiss more than anything at that moment.

I looked at Edward as he kissed me with his eyes closed. I wanted to run away. Run back to Jacob and feel that fire again. I wanted to finish what we had started, what Edward had interrupted.

I pulled away. Edward looked down at me confused. He kept his arms firmly around me.

"I'm so sorry I left you. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I wasn't going to kill myself out of guilt. I just couldn't live in a world in which you didn't exist" he said in that perfect, sultry, vampire voice.

Before Jacob I would have gladly accepted this reason and jumped right back into his strong, beautiful arms and kissed him until the world ended. Before Jacob I would have forgotten everything that had happened when Edward left me alone and cold in the woods that horrific day. Before Jacob I would have ignored the hole that Edward punched into my chest when he told me he didn't want me. But now that I had Jacob, I couldn't just forget about it. Jacob had never done anything remotely close to that to me. Jacob made me feel whole again. He patched the hole that Edward had so graciously punched in my chest. Jacob was my sun. I loved him. I suddenly realized that I was in love with him.

As I looked at Edward it dawned on me that the love I once felt for him had slowly ebbed away as the love I had for Jacob grew. Grew into not just a love between two best friends but into something more. So much more.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked with a worried expression on his pale face.

"What's wrong?! Are you serious? You left me! You left me all alone! I felt like my world had ended when you left and you expect me to just forgive you like that!?" I snapped my fingers and glared at him.

He smiled that over-confident smile and pulled me to his chest. "I didn't know what I was doing. I thought it was in your best interest that I quit intruding in your life. I didn't know it would be so difficult for me or you. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me?" he pleaded, his eyes liquid gold.

Before I could answer I heard clicking on the antique tile. I looked up and saw two cloaked figures walking towards us.

"How about we take this to a more appropriate venue?" One of them said in a deadly, frightening voice.